Big brother
I’m nervous about tomorrow’s brunch.
A few weeks ago I’d been talking with my Dad on the phone and just happened to ask how my brother was doing, if he’d spoken to him recently, since I had not. And with dads answering silence I just lightheartedly added with a little chuckle, “well, not that he and I Would have spoken since he doesn’t really talk to me anymore, but I do wish good stuff for him and miss him and think of him...”
Stevie text me that same night. i suspect dad may have said something to him about his still not really seeing or talking to me? Mind you I maybe get 5-7 short text sessions a year with him? With my initiating most. He text me saying how he’d spoken with dad and dad had shown him my newest picture (dad had asked I send him one after I mentioned having lost 96 lbs ) and congrats on the weight loss. And he mentioned us perhaps meeting up for “Mexican breakfast”. We use to do that at least once a month. It HAD been one of “our things”. We hung out every weekend though. But we’d go eat at this cute little local Mexican restaurant and always get the same delish breakfast. Anyway. I text him Friday night asking if he’d like to meet up for Mexican breakfast this Sunday.
That’s tomorrow.
It’s been so so many years since I saw him. Heck, I called him in the beginning of 2018 to tell him an update on what mom’s missing person investigating officer had found out due to my being in touch with the officer on a Jane Doe (wasn’t mom), just easier than texting or emailing it. And that’s been the first time I’d even heard his voice in several years. And I’ve not been alone with him for years (other than the two times I was with him when he was doing his radiation and chemo treatments and he was a bit... foggy headed then and rightly so, tired).
I can say without a doubt that my brother and I were best friends, SO close before all the shit hit the fan. I NEVER ever would have believed I’d ever also say he’s in the top two of having said the most vile things to me of my lifetime, on many occasions, even years apart when I’d try to reach out and reconcile. I didn’t think he’d ever speak to me with such venom, let alone judge me and choose to ostracize me from his life.
So yeah... I’m nervous as hell.....