Fetlife love and street harrassment

[blushingflower]

I checked my Fetlife this morning and had 11+ "@"s, meaning notifications that people had commented on our loved a picture or a writing. They were all "love"s on photos of mine from strangers. One of them had a friend in common with me. The others, I could not figure out what path led them to me. One loved a bunch of pictures of one of my

Comments

[kushielsfire]

I also try to use fet as kinky facebook.

I will love a picture if it's someone I know, a cool pose/posture/neat looking scene thing, or very funny pics. I don't know if I've ever loved a picture of someone's genitals. Not really my thing. I'm also not a voyeur.

I loved your knitting pic w/cuffs because I think it is adorable.

[blushingflower]

I love that picture too!

But you are my friend, so if you "love" one of my pictures, it reads to me as you saying "I love this picture of you, blushingflower, my friend", and it's not weird. It's really only the ones of my face that make me uncomfortable.

[macdobhran]

One thought that came to mind after reading this, and how I might use FL if I was going to an event, is that someone might want to meet you at said event. Of course now that I write it out like that it does sound kind of creepy but follow me here.

Say I'm looking at the event attendees and see someone I'm interested in meeting for whatever reason. I might love their pic, though more likely I'd just bookmark their profile, and review it just before or during the event.

Not that I find it easy to meet new people but it seems easier and less creepy to do so in meatspace. Most FL profiles have very little information about someone's personality, likes and dislikes, which I understand because of the stalky-creep factor. So for me it's easier to say "Interesting dress. Where did you get that?" to someone's face rather than "I like your picture." in a cold email.

Not sure if this makes sense but just thought I'd offer a more inculpable explanation than cyber-stalking.

[blushingflower]

Okay, so, lets say they got to my profile either from the BR XXV RSVP page or the BR XXV attendee area. I understand wanting to read the profile (my Fet profile is a lot more detailed than my BR one). But wouldn't it make sense to then say "Hey, I'm going to [Event] too, and I liked your profile. Would you like to meet up?" in an email?

Or are you implying that they're basically compiling an old-school facebook to flip through and remember when they meet people in person? Which, yeah, a little creepy, I think. I know I put a lot out there on the Internet, but I've had guys say "oh, you're blushingflower!" (and actually that, not my real name) in a way that caught me completely off guard.

Basically, the creep factor (for me) comes not from looking at my profile, but from the bookmarking. Like, why do you need to save a picture of my face when I don't know you?

[petemosq]

Random people love my photos sometimes. The Nina Hartley one still gets some occasionally. I click through friends of friends and find nice things all the time. It's not so much 'bookmarking' as saying 'Hey that's cool' then my friends can see something I like or admire and vice versa. Very few FL pix are friends only. I think that 'loving' a picture is a nice form of unassuming acknowledgement. People have very differing senses of personal boundaries. I'm a slut and exhibitionist, so when I get a comment or a love on a picture or writing of mine, I get that little ego boost and giddy swoon, :) YMMV.

[blushingflower]

Right, there are photos that get random love that I'm fine with. I've had people follow you, for example, to pics of mine and it hasn't creeped me out. I totally do get that little ego boost on SOME of my pictures. For me, it's a combination of not being able to follow the thread, and also the fact that there's nothing in the photo that triggered this that I think is worthy of a "hey that's cool". To me, there's something weird about "love" on something that's just a shot of your face. (Like, if it were a shot of me with cool make-up, or streaked mascara, or anything interesting going on, that wouldn't be as weird to me)