rapture rain

Dec 09, 2007 03:10

he smells of faded cigarettes and soap ( Read more... )

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wizillusions December 9 2007, 13:53:16 UTC
"rough around the edges" is my first take of this piece. To me it seems you have a good start here but it seems to need something more. With a bit of editing could be an outstanding piece.

I liked these lines in particular.

"but they reel me in every time
hooked from the first day"

"butterflies and liquid skin
melting into a puddle of rapture"

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