"rough around the edges" is my first take of this piece. To me it seems you have a good start here but it seems to need something more. With a bit of editing could be an outstanding piece.
I liked these lines in particular.
"but they reel me in every time hooked from the first day"
"butterflies and liquid skin melting into a puddle of rapture"
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I liked these lines in particular.
"but they reel me in every time
hooked from the first day"
"butterflies and liquid skin
melting into a puddle of rapture"
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