"The Show Must Go On" ch 15 & Review responses for ch 14 (and more)
Garnet as queen - "I honestly think that as much as this hurts now, Garnet will be better in the long run with someone at her side who can provide more support as she grows into her new role."
I’m not entirely on board with the idea that she *needs* someone by her side, though I know what you mean. I’m sure she’d like to have someone there who could share in the duties, someone more suitable than Zidane, at least. I think that was sort of the life she was building for herself, before Zidane came back and, well, mucked things up.
Obvious spoiler is obvious? - "I hope Zidane can use his thief skills to get out of his house-assert ASAP! Although, if even the two ends up running away...I'm pretty sure everyone chase them to the end of the world..."
Things are a mess, but you're on the right track to a solution ; )
* * *
The following came from a review of multiple chapters up to and including ch 14, but there were several good points brought up that I wanted to address.
The fairy tale relationship - "I liked the way you portrayed their whole relationship: as something "meant to be", the classic end to any fairytale, yet not exactly working out well. Zidane seemed to have clung to idea of marrying Garnet simply because it was what he had wanted before, or "the right thing to do""
I think I latched onto the whole "what happens after the end of the fairy tale" bit since I had been winding down a different fic when I started this story. But I think Zidane is the sort of guy who would buy right into the fairy tale ending without ever questioning it, even though it's clearly not a good fit for him.
Garnet's characterization - "I'm also glad that you didn't resort to any character bashing (Garnet, in this case), to further support the main paring of this story; you merely stressed that Garnet's role as the queen stood in the way of developing her relationship with Zidane."
I have no reason to bash on Garnet. I feel badly for her, actually. Even before Kuja showed up she had enough problems with Zidane and it was unlikely that things would've improved after marriage. In some ways, the best thing for her in this story would've been if Zidane hadn't come back at all... at the end of the game she was trying to move on without him, and from all indications Alexandria was doing just fine under her rule.
Marcus and Blank's relationship - "It think it was a nice idea to make Marcus and Blank a couple, since it really helped Zidane wrap his head around the very concept of same-sex relationships. If you were worried around everyone's becoming "magically gay", you could've made either of them date someone outside of Tantalus; this could've been a little more realistic than half of Baku's crew turning homo all of a sudden"
It wasn't originally planned of course but I thought having Zidane see an actual relationship was the best way to make him realize that men being attracted to men isn't some sort of freakish, unnatural occurrence. Yes, I could have had one of them date someone outside of Tantalus, but I wanted to avoid the cries of, "Nooo Blank, why is he with a Gary Stu!" plus it wasn't a stretch playing off their existing bromance. That at least gave me the basis for a romantic relationship.
There will be mention of at least one more gay or lesbian couple later on, but they'll just be background characters.
Beatrix and Kuja - "I'm glad that Kuja still had it in him to act all witty towards Beatrix (as stupid as that was) and that she still treated him with respect, like a human being (hell, I actually loved that part)."
I rarely find female characters I truly like, but she's one of them. I too was looking forward to finally getting her and Kuja to interact, because I think if anyone could see past the act that Kuja was putting on, it'd be her. I'm sure no one would mistake them as friends, but they're more than just acquaintances.
Kuja as a sympathetic character - "I'm not sure how I feel about you trying to make Kuja look as sympathetic as possible - not only by making him weak and abandoned, but also by writing about how he actually wanted to save Zidane from Garland (instead of just trying to get rid of the hated competition) and how he never liked killing to begin with, even after years of serving Garland. I'm not sure - because as much as I like to imagine that there might have been traits of "goodness" in Kuja, the picture this fic painted got slightly too one-dimensional for me. Not only does Kuja change after the Iifa Tree (which is great and reasonable), but we're also led to believe he's been a good guy all along. And THAT makes me wonder."
I bounce ideas off of hubby because he rarely agrees with me : ) but in this case, he agreed that the canon reason given for Kuja dumping Zidane on Gaia just doesn't hold water. I know villains have to make that "monumentally bad decision" but I just don't buy that this was one of them; Kuja's too smart to have made the mistake of leaving Zidane alive, even if to gloat over him. It's just too much of a risk.
So I thought about it. And then I realized that although Kuja had plenty of opportunities to get rid of Zidane throughout the game, he never did. He could've finished him off at Burmecia, dumped him in the lava in the Desert Palace... He should've been able to destroy the crystal at the very end, well before Zidane's team got there (they spend all that time flying around and rehoming the Genomes and such), but instead he waited for Zidane to show up.
I could've written it as Kuja having such a big ego that he thought he couldn't be defeated no matter what, but by the end he knows/believes that isn't true. And yet he still waited.
And then even as he lay in defeat in the Iifa Tree, with his strength draining away, he still teleported Zidane and co. to safety.
Also, honestly, if I'm going to redeem Kuja, then I need him to be a decent guy underneath. I need him to really want to change. Even though this is fiction, I don't want to save someone that doesn't have any redeeming qualities beyond his charm and wit.
And just as Zidane tells his friends that he could've ended up like Kuja if circumstances had been different, I like the idea that Kuja could've been like Zidane if life had been a little kinder to him.
* * *
New chapter!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8057142/16/
I *was* going to wait until tomorrow but since the chapter is ready, there was no reason to hold off another day. Still hoping to finish the next chapter by the end of the year, to mark the end of the first half of the story!
I’m not entirely on board with the idea that she *needs* someone by her side, though I know what you mean. I’m sure she’d like to have someone there who could share in the duties, someone more suitable than Zidane, at least. I think that was sort of the life she was building for herself, before Zidane came back and, well, mucked things up.
Obvious spoiler is obvious? - "I hope Zidane can use his thief skills to get out of his house-assert ASAP! Although, if even the two ends up running away...I'm pretty sure everyone chase them to the end of the world..."
Things are a mess, but you're on the right track to a solution ; )
* * *
The following came from a review of multiple chapters up to and including ch 14, but there were several good points brought up that I wanted to address.
The fairy tale relationship - "I liked the way you portrayed their whole relationship: as something "meant to be", the classic end to any fairytale, yet not exactly working out well. Zidane seemed to have clung to idea of marrying Garnet simply because it was what he had wanted before, or "the right thing to do""
I think I latched onto the whole "what happens after the end of the fairy tale" bit since I had been winding down a different fic when I started this story. But I think Zidane is the sort of guy who would buy right into the fairy tale ending without ever questioning it, even though it's clearly not a good fit for him.
Garnet's characterization - "I'm also glad that you didn't resort to any character bashing (Garnet, in this case), to further support the main paring of this story; you merely stressed that Garnet's role as the queen stood in the way of developing her relationship with Zidane."
I have no reason to bash on Garnet. I feel badly for her, actually. Even before Kuja showed up she had enough problems with Zidane and it was unlikely that things would've improved after marriage. In some ways, the best thing for her in this story would've been if Zidane hadn't come back at all... at the end of the game she was trying to move on without him, and from all indications Alexandria was doing just fine under her rule.
Marcus and Blank's relationship - "It think it was a nice idea to make Marcus and Blank a couple, since it really helped Zidane wrap his head around the very concept of same-sex relationships. If you were worried around everyone's becoming "magically gay", you could've made either of them date someone outside of Tantalus; this could've been a little more realistic than half of Baku's crew turning homo all of a sudden"
It wasn't originally planned of course but I thought having Zidane see an actual relationship was the best way to make him realize that men being attracted to men isn't some sort of freakish, unnatural occurrence. Yes, I could have had one of them date someone outside of Tantalus, but I wanted to avoid the cries of, "Nooo Blank, why is he with a Gary Stu!" plus it wasn't a stretch playing off their existing bromance. That at least gave me the basis for a romantic relationship.
There will be mention of at least one more gay or lesbian couple later on, but they'll just be background characters.
Beatrix and Kuja - "I'm glad that Kuja still had it in him to act all witty towards Beatrix (as stupid as that was) and that she still treated him with respect, like a human being (hell, I actually loved that part)."
I rarely find female characters I truly like, but she's one of them. I too was looking forward to finally getting her and Kuja to interact, because I think if anyone could see past the act that Kuja was putting on, it'd be her. I'm sure no one would mistake them as friends, but they're more than just acquaintances.
Kuja as a sympathetic character - "I'm not sure how I feel about you trying to make Kuja look as sympathetic as possible - not only by making him weak and abandoned, but also by writing about how he actually wanted to save Zidane from Garland (instead of just trying to get rid of the hated competition) and how he never liked killing to begin with, even after years of serving Garland. I'm not sure - because as much as I like to imagine that there might have been traits of "goodness" in Kuja, the picture this fic painted got slightly too one-dimensional for me. Not only does Kuja change after the Iifa Tree (which is great and reasonable), but we're also led to believe he's been a good guy all along. And THAT makes me wonder."
I bounce ideas off of hubby because he rarely agrees with me : ) but in this case, he agreed that the canon reason given for Kuja dumping Zidane on Gaia just doesn't hold water. I know villains have to make that "monumentally bad decision" but I just don't buy that this was one of them; Kuja's too smart to have made the mistake of leaving Zidane alive, even if to gloat over him. It's just too much of a risk.
So I thought about it. And then I realized that although Kuja had plenty of opportunities to get rid of Zidane throughout the game, he never did. He could've finished him off at Burmecia, dumped him in the lava in the Desert Palace... He should've been able to destroy the crystal at the very end, well before Zidane's team got there (they spend all that time flying around and rehoming the Genomes and such), but instead he waited for Zidane to show up.
I could've written it as Kuja having such a big ego that he thought he couldn't be defeated no matter what, but by the end he knows/believes that isn't true. And yet he still waited.
And then even as he lay in defeat in the Iifa Tree, with his strength draining away, he still teleported Zidane and co. to safety.
Also, honestly, if I'm going to redeem Kuja, then I need him to be a decent guy underneath. I need him to really want to change. Even though this is fiction, I don't want to save someone that doesn't have any redeeming qualities beyond his charm and wit.
And just as Zidane tells his friends that he could've ended up like Kuja if circumstances had been different, I like the idea that Kuja could've been like Zidane if life had been a little kinder to him.
* * *
New chapter!
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8057142/16/
I *was* going to wait until tomorrow but since the chapter is ready, there was no reason to hold off another day. Still hoping to finish the next chapter by the end of the year, to mark the end of the first half of the story!