"The Show Must Go On" ch 26 & Review responses for ch 25
Boy, it's been a while since I've posted eh? Good news is I've already started the next chapter, as part of it was originally supposed to be in this one.
Hair brushing and communication - "I love how the little details in this give a window into Kuja's mindset. Like it's such a small thing that he's not sure he wants his hair tied back, but is afraid to say anything because he likes Zidane brushing his hair and doesn't want him to stop. It's so clear that he doesn't understand that he could ask Zidane to brush his hair but not tie it back and that Zidane would listen to and respect his wishes, even though this is the very thing that Zidane has been trying to get him to understand."
Like you noted it is a small thing, but the fact that Kuja's having such a hard time expressing himself even with something so minor just shows how insecure he is about where he stands with Zidane. Any reasonable person would know they could just speak up and make their feelings known, but Kuja worries that even a slight disagreement might send Zidane walking out the door - not that he says that as often as he thinks it!
Making money - "Zidane shouldn't play off the money thing, it's (sadly) very important in a world that a establish form of currency."
Kuja is being far more realistic in that he is worried about money; as quiet and nice as everything is in town, it's not like they can live there if they don't have enough money to buy basic supplies. I think if Zidane could explain his ideas and plans instead of telling Kuja "Don't worry!" Kuja would feel a lot more secure about it. But regardless of that, Kuja picking up some work would still serve a purpose, as it gives him a way to be "useful" again.
Dragon slaying - "I'm a little worry Zidane going after dragon alone or doing something dangerous. But he is able to kill it, I think he can sell off its body parts and make some money!" and "it makes me wonder if you're using his dragon-slaying business as a set-up for Garnet finding out about their location..."
The comments about a dragon slaying business gave me a few ideas actually... : D
Speed of development and pacing - "Well, I hope we see more drama soon! I really enjoyed reading Zidane and Kuja bond and stuff, but the pacing is a little slow because it feels like nothing is happening with the main plot, y'know? ^ _ ^; I want to see drama! Lol! XD"
Kuja and Zidane's relationship is the main plot, which is why I'm devoting so much time to it. But it is a difficult balance to try and get the story moving while still needing to finish with set up as it all affects stuff further down the line one way or another.
I admit I probably do develop and move things along on the slower side... I used to struggle with taking the time to properly develop a storyline I'd rather be a little long winded than skipping ahead too fast. And my love for relationship stories (over action stories) probably makes me slow down even more. I really want relationships to feel like they're developing naturally, and in this case there's a lot of pushing against the grain. But I'll work on pacing and try to improve on that.
* * *
The following came from a large review of everything up to and including ch 25. I've broken it down into bits in order to reply:
Chapter length - "I've noticed ur chapters have been smaller, and fewer and I am so very frightened that u are loosing interest and becoming unmotivated about writing it"
The newer chapters are shorter because my first few chapters ran longer than I normally write, and now I'm regressing back to my norm (around 9 pages in Word). I don't have a particular length that I stick to, but I guess that length feels most comfortable to me so I find myself aiming for that when I write.
Zidane's sexuality - "I love how u made Zidane so oh very confused of himself about his love and sexuality overall, it's really realistic and welcomed. "
For obvious reasons I couldn't magically make Zidane gay. Even now I don't really think he'd identify himself as such (regardless of the fact he's in love with a man) - at best Zidane would say he's in love with Kuja as a person, not as a man. But Kuja's probably the only exception. He's androgynous enough that it doesn't feel like a stretch physically, and he's dependent enough on Zidane to fill that desire to be someone's hero.
Kuja's villain personality - " Kuja, sadly, ain't the motherfu**er bitch he used to be and I've adored, I've always loved his arrogance, ego, bad personality, and excentric behavior, as bad and weird as it may sound. BUT I am not disappointed with the Kuja he came to be in the later chapters of this story, mainly, he changed so much from all the things he has gone through and all the suffering, it's only natural that he changes. "
I had to break Kuja a bit, even though it was very hard on him. If he was the same guy he'd been at the end of the game, there would be no redemption for him - it would be a story nearly impossible to write. Who would be able to forgive him then? But as you noted his arrogance and eccentricity is part of him - and it's starting to pop back up a little here and there, though in a toned down way that makes him seem snarky as opposed to outright mean.
Affection - "I'm dying for a little simple show of affection between them, like whaaaat, they have been so intensely determinated on seeing one another again, since their parting at the cottage wich feels like SO LONG ago, and Kuja almost died intent on staying with Zidane again, and Zidane gave everything up for being with Kuja and he missed the older genome soooo much, and now they don't even give as much as a hug"
Zidane's being a little more careful now about how much affection he's showing Kuja because when Kuja first woke up at the lakeside house, Zidane practically smothered him with declarations of love and Kuja was clearly not comfortable with it. So Zidane so far has backed off on that and is trying to show affection in smaller ways like trying to figure out what Kuja wants to eat, or putting his hand on his arm... things that give Kuja a little more breathing room but still show that Zidane cares about him.
The first time - "I think their first sex time was so cold and rude of Zidane T.T I'm so hurt about it, u were so cruel with us making Zidane use Kuja like thaaat and leaving"
Zidane still doesn't fully realize just how much he hurt Kuja by having sex with him and walking off right after - he gets that he shouldn't have just slept with him and left - but I don't think he's stopped to think that Kuja's never had a healthy relationship with anyone, that Kuja thinks he can't ever expect anything better.
* * *
New chapter here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8057142/27/
Hair brushing and communication - "I love how the little details in this give a window into Kuja's mindset. Like it's such a small thing that he's not sure he wants his hair tied back, but is afraid to say anything because he likes Zidane brushing his hair and doesn't want him to stop. It's so clear that he doesn't understand that he could ask Zidane to brush his hair but not tie it back and that Zidane would listen to and respect his wishes, even though this is the very thing that Zidane has been trying to get him to understand."
Like you noted it is a small thing, but the fact that Kuja's having such a hard time expressing himself even with something so minor just shows how insecure he is about where he stands with Zidane. Any reasonable person would know they could just speak up and make their feelings known, but Kuja worries that even a slight disagreement might send Zidane walking out the door - not that he says that as often as he thinks it!
Making money - "Zidane shouldn't play off the money thing, it's (sadly) very important in a world that a establish form of currency."
Kuja is being far more realistic in that he is worried about money; as quiet and nice as everything is in town, it's not like they can live there if they don't have enough money to buy basic supplies. I think if Zidane could explain his ideas and plans instead of telling Kuja "Don't worry!" Kuja would feel a lot more secure about it. But regardless of that, Kuja picking up some work would still serve a purpose, as it gives him a way to be "useful" again.
Dragon slaying - "I'm a little worry Zidane going after dragon alone or doing something dangerous. But he is able to kill it, I think he can sell off its body parts and make some money!" and "it makes me wonder if you're using his dragon-slaying business as a set-up for Garnet finding out about their location..."
The comments about a dragon slaying business gave me a few ideas actually... : D
Speed of development and pacing - "Well, I hope we see more drama soon! I really enjoyed reading Zidane and Kuja bond and stuff, but the pacing is a little slow because it feels like nothing is happening with the main plot, y'know? ^ _ ^; I want to see drama! Lol! XD"
Kuja and Zidane's relationship is the main plot, which is why I'm devoting so much time to it. But it is a difficult balance to try and get the story moving while still needing to finish with set up as it all affects stuff further down the line one way or another.
I admit I probably do develop and move things along on the slower side... I used to struggle with taking the time to properly develop a storyline I'd rather be a little long winded than skipping ahead too fast. And my love for relationship stories (over action stories) probably makes me slow down even more. I really want relationships to feel like they're developing naturally, and in this case there's a lot of pushing against the grain. But I'll work on pacing and try to improve on that.
* * *
The following came from a large review of everything up to and including ch 25. I've broken it down into bits in order to reply:
Chapter length - "I've noticed ur chapters have been smaller, and fewer and I am so very frightened that u are loosing interest and becoming unmotivated about writing it"
The newer chapters are shorter because my first few chapters ran longer than I normally write, and now I'm regressing back to my norm (around 9 pages in Word). I don't have a particular length that I stick to, but I guess that length feels most comfortable to me so I find myself aiming for that when I write.
Zidane's sexuality - "I love how u made Zidane so oh very confused of himself about his love and sexuality overall, it's really realistic and welcomed. "
For obvious reasons I couldn't magically make Zidane gay. Even now I don't really think he'd identify himself as such (regardless of the fact he's in love with a man) - at best Zidane would say he's in love with Kuja as a person, not as a man. But Kuja's probably the only exception. He's androgynous enough that it doesn't feel like a stretch physically, and he's dependent enough on Zidane to fill that desire to be someone's hero.
Kuja's villain personality - " Kuja, sadly, ain't the motherfu**er bitch he used to be and I've adored, I've always loved his arrogance, ego, bad personality, and excentric behavior, as bad and weird as it may sound. BUT I am not disappointed with the Kuja he came to be in the later chapters of this story, mainly, he changed so much from all the things he has gone through and all the suffering, it's only natural that he changes. "
I had to break Kuja a bit, even though it was very hard on him. If he was the same guy he'd been at the end of the game, there would be no redemption for him - it would be a story nearly impossible to write. Who would be able to forgive him then? But as you noted his arrogance and eccentricity is part of him - and it's starting to pop back up a little here and there, though in a toned down way that makes him seem snarky as opposed to outright mean.
Affection - "I'm dying for a little simple show of affection between them, like whaaaat, they have been so intensely determinated on seeing one another again, since their parting at the cottage wich feels like SO LONG ago, and Kuja almost died intent on staying with Zidane again, and Zidane gave everything up for being with Kuja and he missed the older genome soooo much, and now they don't even give as much as a hug"
Zidane's being a little more careful now about how much affection he's showing Kuja because when Kuja first woke up at the lakeside house, Zidane practically smothered him with declarations of love and Kuja was clearly not comfortable with it. So Zidane so far has backed off on that and is trying to show affection in smaller ways like trying to figure out what Kuja wants to eat, or putting his hand on his arm... things that give Kuja a little more breathing room but still show that Zidane cares about him.
The first time - "I think their first sex time was so cold and rude of Zidane T.T I'm so hurt about it, u were so cruel with us making Zidane use Kuja like thaaat and leaving"
Zidane still doesn't fully realize just how much he hurt Kuja by having sex with him and walking off right after - he gets that he shouldn't have just slept with him and left - but I don't think he's stopped to think that Kuja's never had a healthy relationship with anyone, that Kuja thinks he can't ever expect anything better.
* * *
New chapter here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8057142/27/