(no subject)
For all you internet n00bs out there...
CNN says, "An increasing number of predatory paedophiles have used chatrooms to 'groom' youngsters for sexual abuse." The Center for Master Ninja Studies has always known this, and it is among our laundry list of reasons to ban the internet, including "Flash," "poorly-educated amateur movie reviewers," "Unfunny Shit", and our major complaint, "www.goatse.cx".
But we don't think this article goes far enough. Children are still being unsafe with the internet, dammit. So, here are a few quick tips to give kids the edge when dealing with the internet:
So, kids, approach the internet with caution. You might think that the internet is your friend, or that it's full of useful and helpful information, but it's not. Much like the real world that surrounds us, the internet is full of useless crap, stupid people, and half-truths perpetuated by a global society of monkeys. We at the Center for Master Ninja Studies aren't hateful or misanthropic, we've simply come to accept that the word 'monkeys' is funnier than, say, 'cretins'.
Yeah...
-t
CNN says, "An increasing number of predatory paedophiles have used chatrooms to 'groom' youngsters for sexual abuse." The Center for Master Ninja Studies has always known this, and it is among our laundry list of reasons to ban the internet, including "Flash," "poorly-educated amateur movie reviewers," "Unfunny Shit", and our major complaint, "www.goatse.cx".
But we don't think this article goes far enough. Children are still being unsafe with the internet, dammit. So, here are a few quick tips to give kids the edge when dealing with the internet:
- Just because a pop-up ad has an 'Okay' button does not mean you should click it.
- Remember, you might think that you're in love with someone in the chatrooms, but love is a lie, and a painful one. It will only bring you suffering, even on the internet.
- None of those pills can really increase your penis size.
- While in a chatroom, stay away from and don't pet animals you don't know.
- Always handle the internet with the sharp side away from you.
- When writing Star Trek slash fiction, remember that the gay stuff involving Captain Picard is bound to get both male and female readers excited.
- If you send your "internet boyfriend" naked pictures of you today, your mother and father will receive them tomorrow from your pedophilic Uncle who just "happened across them when he accidentally clicked on a link in his email."
- Hot asian girls do not, in fact, want to talk to you.
- Remember, kids: Furries are not good people.
So, kids, approach the internet with caution. You might think that the internet is your friend, or that it's full of useful and helpful information, but it's not. Much like the real world that surrounds us, the internet is full of useless crap, stupid people, and half-truths perpetuated by a global society of monkeys. We at the Center for Master Ninja Studies aren't hateful or misanthropic, we've simply come to accept that the word 'monkeys' is funnier than, say, 'cretins'.
Yeah...
-t