Drifting - PG
LOLOL old RPF fic FTW.
Title: Drifting
Author: plazmah
Rating: PG
Fandom: Bollywood RPF
Pairing: SRK/Kajol. But it's an AU fic, so nyah!
Notes: *sheepish* I can't believe I wrote this. This story technically takes place in the late 1990s in an alternate universe where, well... things turn out differently.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... See, the day I get the kind of success I want, I'll probably become as corrupt as corruption. That's a fact." - Shahrukh Khan
He was on the top of the world. Uncrowned king of the people, ruler of hearts, master of all who came before him. Everyone knew his name, everyone knew his face. Those eyes so full of witty banter and shuttered sadness, those lips spilling sweet lies and casting spells through the ethers. He was the leader of the pack, pulling out unprecedented performances that the masses lapped up with unending adoration. He had perfected his craft. He had been leading the game for several years now. He had the public's complete attention and was not afraid to utilize such a powerful asset.
Yet he would not reveal the details of his world to anyone else. He hid, safe behind the screen of those heady eyes and tempting lips. Wrapped in a cloak of complete aloofness and mystery, his popularity only grew. It was a gift he had, the ability to capture the attentions of people high and low, while doing nothing but being his detached self. He set the screen aflame, yet in his heart he was was empty like the vacuum of space. It was only when he went home, to the cold palace he called home, that he dropped his charisma at the door. His eyes were dead then, beyond any caring. He was on top of the world. But it didn't matter. None of it mattered. Because she was gone. Gone to the Lord's abode, in'shallah.
She had left him alone, alone to face the world without her smile and comforting words. Left him alone to be swarmed by endless strangers who couldn't see that he really wasn't the sparkling flame they thought him to be. He was just a man, a man whose cup of sorrow had finally overflowed. Confronted with her death, he had turned his back on the world for so many days. He returned to the business with only one intent: to forget the ache of losing her. To spill his passion and pain in a game, because he could not do the same thing in real life. In reality, he did not own the masses. They owned him, every piece. He was caught in the game and didn't care. Nothing mattered. Because she was gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I keep fooling myself all the time. That's the way I've chosen to live. I think I often fool myself to feel content." - Shahrukh Khan
His eyes are attempting to be aloof and blank. But she can see through that. He doesn't want her here. He doesn't want anyone here. He wants to drown in his misery, his abject despondency. But she won't let him, won't allow him the selfish privilege. Even in this darkness, with only a sliver of moonlight aiding her vision, she can see the lines of tired tension carved into his face. His usual fanatic zeal and electric anger has seeped away, leaving her a shell of a man before her. His eyes tell her tell a secret story and he doesn't even realize it. I don't want to hear your words, they say. Just leave me be. I want to be alone, because I don't need anyone else. He's ready to shut her out completely. Simply shut her out of his life, throw her into the gutter as if she was a thieving vagrant, instead of being his co-star, well-wisher, friend, and-
"I know you miss her." She says suddenly, voice cracking with emotion. "I can't even imagine the pain you went through, the pain you're going through right now." They've never talked about Gauri before, and mentioning the woman he loved so dearly is having an terrible effect. The pain and suffering of so many years is pouring into his face, and it breaks her heart to see it. This isn't another one of their movie scenes, this is real life.
"But you cannot do this to yourself. Do you know how selfish you're acting? Do you think this is what she would have wanted for you? A palace of a house that's silent as a tomb, endless crores to spend on superficial nothings, drowning your body and mind by working so hard... she didn't want this for you. She wanted you to be happy. She wanted you to shine, and not just on the screen. This is life. You have to move on-"
"But I don't know how!" he cries, as his hysterical voice echoes throughout the empty palace. It pierces her heart and before she realizes what she's doing she moves to hold him. He sees her move to comfort and his eyes are suddenly filled with emotion. With thankfulness and appreciation. As if he's seeing her for the first time. And the sight is almost too much for him to bear.
She holds him, and he lets her do so, perhaps because he can finally take no more of his self imposed torture. He's silently grieving, exorcising his demons within the circle of her arms. She doesn't know if what she's doing is right. But right here, right now, she's not thinking about what's right and what's wrong. All she cares about is bringing that light she once knew back into his eyes.
~~~~~~END~~~~~~
Title: Drifting
Author: plazmah
Rating: PG
Fandom: Bollywood RPF
Pairing: SRK/Kajol. But it's an AU fic, so nyah!
Notes: *sheepish* I can't believe I wrote this. This story technically takes place in the late 1990s in an alternate universe where, well... things turn out differently.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"... See, the day I get the kind of success I want, I'll probably become as corrupt as corruption. That's a fact." - Shahrukh Khan
He was on the top of the world. Uncrowned king of the people, ruler of hearts, master of all who came before him. Everyone knew his name, everyone knew his face. Those eyes so full of witty banter and shuttered sadness, those lips spilling sweet lies and casting spells through the ethers. He was the leader of the pack, pulling out unprecedented performances that the masses lapped up with unending adoration. He had perfected his craft. He had been leading the game for several years now. He had the public's complete attention and was not afraid to utilize such a powerful asset.
Yet he would not reveal the details of his world to anyone else. He hid, safe behind the screen of those heady eyes and tempting lips. Wrapped in a cloak of complete aloofness and mystery, his popularity only grew. It was a gift he had, the ability to capture the attentions of people high and low, while doing nothing but being his detached self. He set the screen aflame, yet in his heart he was was empty like the vacuum of space. It was only when he went home, to the cold palace he called home, that he dropped his charisma at the door. His eyes were dead then, beyond any caring. He was on top of the world. But it didn't matter. None of it mattered. Because she was gone. Gone to the Lord's abode, in'shallah.
She had left him alone, alone to face the world without her smile and comforting words. Left him alone to be swarmed by endless strangers who couldn't see that he really wasn't the sparkling flame they thought him to be. He was just a man, a man whose cup of sorrow had finally overflowed. Confronted with her death, he had turned his back on the world for so many days. He returned to the business with only one intent: to forget the ache of losing her. To spill his passion and pain in a game, because he could not do the same thing in real life. In reality, he did not own the masses. They owned him, every piece. He was caught in the game and didn't care. Nothing mattered. Because she was gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I keep fooling myself all the time. That's the way I've chosen to live. I think I often fool myself to feel content." - Shahrukh Khan
His eyes are attempting to be aloof and blank. But she can see through that. He doesn't want her here. He doesn't want anyone here. He wants to drown in his misery, his abject despondency. But she won't let him, won't allow him the selfish privilege. Even in this darkness, with only a sliver of moonlight aiding her vision, she can see the lines of tired tension carved into his face. His usual fanatic zeal and electric anger has seeped away, leaving her a shell of a man before her. His eyes tell her tell a secret story and he doesn't even realize it. I don't want to hear your words, they say. Just leave me be. I want to be alone, because I don't need anyone else. He's ready to shut her out completely. Simply shut her out of his life, throw her into the gutter as if she was a thieving vagrant, instead of being his co-star, well-wisher, friend, and-
"I know you miss her." She says suddenly, voice cracking with emotion. "I can't even imagine the pain you went through, the pain you're going through right now." They've never talked about Gauri before, and mentioning the woman he loved so dearly is having an terrible effect. The pain and suffering of so many years is pouring into his face, and it breaks her heart to see it. This isn't another one of their movie scenes, this is real life.
"But you cannot do this to yourself. Do you know how selfish you're acting? Do you think this is what she would have wanted for you? A palace of a house that's silent as a tomb, endless crores to spend on superficial nothings, drowning your body and mind by working so hard... she didn't want this for you. She wanted you to be happy. She wanted you to shine, and not just on the screen. This is life. You have to move on-"
"But I don't know how!" he cries, as his hysterical voice echoes throughout the empty palace. It pierces her heart and before she realizes what she's doing she moves to hold him. He sees her move to comfort and his eyes are suddenly filled with emotion. With thankfulness and appreciation. As if he's seeing her for the first time. And the sight is almost too much for him to bear.
She holds him, and he lets her do so, perhaps because he can finally take no more of his self imposed torture. He's silently grieving, exorcising his demons within the circle of her arms. She doesn't know if what she's doing is right. But right here, right now, she's not thinking about what's right and what's wrong. All she cares about is bringing that light she once knew back into his eyes.
~~~~~~END~~~~~~