Love Month, Day 14: fun, fic and a fanmix
While the suggestion actually makes me a little nervous, this is not fic (well, not upfront, there is some amount of fic involved and I did post some earlier this week, in case you missed it.) It's also not really a fanmix (even though it's kind of a fanmix) - instead it is a collection of Bones-related personal anecdotes and observations all set to some of the most-frequented songs on my Bones playlist, with one or two links to fic thrown in as they relate to the songs in question.
Subsequently, and for ease of navigation, the post herein contains:
1 fanmix: link
2 new(ish) fics: link & link
1 fangirl-y, things-you-didn't-need-to-know-about-eitoph explanation for said fanmix, including lyrics and an assortment of occasionally amusing stories:
Fear Of...
1. Fear Of... - Jose Vanders
2. Train Song - Ben Gibbard & Feist
3. Betrayed By Bones - Hellogoodbye
4. Styrofoam Plates - Death Cab for Cutie
5. We Won't Run - Sarah Blasko
6. Don't You Want To Share The Guilt? - Kate Nash
7. Little Bribes - Death Cab For Cutie
8. Ghosts - Laura Marling
9. Romeo & Juliet - Dire Straits
10. Soldier - Ingrid Michaelson
Download here
Over time I've been… enamoured (shall we say) with a number of things, among them music, Bones and a boy who shall only be known for the purpose of this entry as W. Amusingly enough, one of the first times I realised that I was probably done with my long-running and rather tumultuous relationship with W was when songs had started to catch my attention (and my heart) not because their lyrics reflected upon my aforementioned relationship with W as had always been the case before, but because they seemed to reflect developments onscreen on Bones.
(As an aside, it was right about then that I also realised my relationship with Bones had gone beyond what was healthy, and that I was totally okay with this fact.)
For a little while, I've half-heartedly been piecing together a playlist of some of these songs, and until this little Love Month project came along, I didn't really have much cause to use it. Now that I have an ideal platform to share my eclectic obsession with music, I've collected some of my favourite Bones-y songs as a small fanmix, complete with lyrics and various pieces of fic that are related to or inspired by the songs in question.
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Jose Vanders - Fear Of….
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If I invent a muscle, to pump life around my bones, to beat instead of this heart-shaped beast I loathe.
For surely being heartless would avoid all of those things, that poets claim to be the root of all.
If I could turn back all of our days would you still know my face, would you still know my face?
And if I could turn back all of these years, would all of our moments be buried by fear, buried by fear?
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If there's only one song on this whole mix you take the time to listen to, I would suggest (or hope?) that it's this one. This song was one that I came across after the Season 5 finale and while it does appear most appropriate for the rather upsetting events of this time last year, it also seems to cover all manner of Bones sins.
This is a song that looks at the fear that comes hand in hand with loving someone, a fear that seems to have driven so many of Brennan's decisions in Season 5 and has formed this fundamental part of the show that we all love so dearly. The snippet above is only one of the many that captures my Bones-loving heart every time I hear it - and I've taken advantage of some of its other brilliant little moments in fic.
When piecing together this fanmix, I also rediscovered some of my earlier drafts of I fic I wrote with this song in mind. The idea that I had developed months and months ago finally took hold when I was able to look at it all in the context of the newest developments on the show and it ultimately became a full-length story of the same name.
I wrote it with this project in mind, and though I posted it a little earlier, it's an integral part of the overall extravaganza and I would very much invite (encourage?) you to read it here, (y'know, if you have an afternoon to spare. It's long, but complete.)
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Ben Gibbard & Feist - Train Song
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So many miles and so long since I left you, don't even know what I'll find when I get to you,
but suddenly now, I know where I belong. It's many hundred miles and it won't be long.
What do I do if there's someone there with you? Maybe someone you've always known.
How do I know I can come and give to you love with no warning and find you alone?
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As a big fan of both BG and Feist, I expressed a great deal of fangirl excitement when they produced this collab for the Dark Was The Night charity project, and even more excited post-5x22 when I realised this song was rather fitting for the events that had unfolded. Given the subject matter of this track (the tried and tested tale of two lovers torn apart by the tyranny of distance), it seems to relate back to this particular element of the show very well.
It helps also, that Ben Gibbard is the brother in law of Emily Deschanel representing my favourite Hollywood family connection of all time.
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Hellogoodbye - Betrayed By Bones
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I could lead a stationary life, and you will see and you'll believe,
my love is carried to you by my feet.
My bones are wrong, sometimes, sometimes bones are wrong.
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This relates less to actual happenings on the show and more to an idea that I have in my head. I'm pretty sure we've all secretly had that thought, pondering how it might go when HH & co finally come to their senses and appear at your door begging you to help them out and write an episode for the show (just me? Okay.) In my head, during that moment that always comes at the end of the show when B&B are together and delving into the deepest truths of the world and their relationship, this is the song I want to be playing. It's all a bit of fairytale but this song has so much potential to say something about our show and our protagonist that I find myself quietly sketching out an episode every time I hear it.
It also has the added bonus of pandering to fandom cliché when it goes on to talk about 'bones within my feet'. Who doesn't love a good 'ole fic-reference to Booth's poor feet and Brennan's intimate knowledge of his injuries from way back when in Season 1.
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Death Cab For Cutie - Styrofoam Plates
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It's no stretch to say you were not quite a father,
but a donor of seeds to a poor single mother who would raise us alone.
We never saw the money that went down your throat, through the hole in your belly.
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Rich with Catholic imagery, this is a song about a man and his relationship with an alcoholic, possibly abusive father, and to me it seems to be unavoidably Booth. Although we haven't learnt all that much about Booth's past (as yet) I've long since wanted to write a Booth-family-eque fic that draws on this particular song, and this premise became the skeleton for my long promised follow up to Flaps Its Wings (a baby!fic I once wrote). Unfortunately fourth_rose, summerren and va32h have beaten me to the punch in terms of a story centred around Booth's father (all in an equally spectacular fashion, might I add) but I will do my best to revive the concept some day.
In the mean time, and as part of my Love Month fic extravaganza, I've posted a small part of what's been written so far for you all to have a look here.
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Sarah Blasko - We Won't Run
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Longing to leave but begging to feel that something will make you stay,
Gotta believe that this all leads to somewhere we've never been.
We won't run, we can fight, all that keeps us up at night.
There is far to go now, let's not waste a minute more,
in denial.
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I'm pretty sure I started listening to this song ironically. As an Australian artist in a country where anything we can claim as our 'own' tends to be revered, this song has had a fair amount of air play and some time after the season 5 finale, I came across it once more and it seemed kind of fitting in a totally opposite, mildly sarcastic kind of way.
Except, just after Blizzard and even more now after the finale of epicness (™ eitoph 2011), this song just seems to fit. I blasted it in my kitchen after 6x16 and listening to the lyrics now makes me feel a little bit hopeful and excited for what's to come. It lines up well with the state of things on the show at the moment, and that's why I'm eager in include it here.
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Kate Nash - Don't You Want To Share The Guilt?
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[...] I know this won't help,
how thing have become between us but if I go you'll give me hell.
And that I don't know how to fix it, is making me unwell.
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Like many of Kate Nash's songs, this is a story. As has kind of become a trademark of Nash, this track largely ignores conventional structure to create a narrative that to me is such a post-100 kind of tale it could practically be fanfiction. I kind of wanted someone (someone else, that is) to take this on and write a fic that has the same general trajectory as this song - it has that same longing and that same feeling of confusion that pervaded almost half a season of our show.
As a handy little aside, I wrote 'An Arbitrarily Chosen Date...' at a time when I was listening to the album this track appears on almost endlessly. As a result, nearly all of its songs remind me of that awesome feeling, powering through a story that I was excited to tell. It's a nice feeling.
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Death Cab for Cutie - Little Bribes
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You said that all these things you've learned to ignore, the hidden cameras on the casino floor,
and what gets paid for behind hotel doors. Oh, come on.
You pretend every slot machine is a robot amputee waving hello.
The people stare into their eyes, and they feed them little bribes and then they go.
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Heh, I realise this is the third time that Ben Gibbard (either on his own, or as the lead singer of DCFC) has now appeared in my soundtrack, but I'm claiming an exemption by right of familial connection.
This is a song about Vegas, and about the hollow, empty feeling that can be associated with gambling, all played to a punchy, witty little melody that makes it such a wonderful track. This is another song that I can so easily associate with Booth and with his addiction that has played a pretty big part of the show. In my head it forms a back story of sorts, that might one day its way into fic.
I have previously peeked into Booth's gambling exploits in a couple of fics, but this song was especially in my mind when I wrote a large section of Five Things Hannah Burley Learned from Temperance Brennan (about Seeley Booth). (Heh, yes, one day I will learn to give fics normal titles.)
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Laura Marling - Ghosts
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Opened up his little heart, unlocked the lock that kept it dark,
And read a written warning, saying I'm still mourning,
Over ghosts, over ghosts, over ghosts, over ghosts that broke my heart before I met you.
Lover, please do not fall to your knees,
It's not like I believe in everlasting love.
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This song has so much potential as a TV song - one that can define a moment and capture emotion in a kind of magical way. Despite its masculine pronouns, this always gives me a Brennan-y feel and it seems to reflect well upon her character over the term of the show.
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Dire Straits - Romeo & Juliet
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Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start,
And I bet when you exploded into my heart.
And I forget I forget the movie song.
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet?
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There's gambling imagery, a tragic love story and if you're feeling a little bit meta, quite a few references to the way things are done on TV.
While it was the various gambler-type references that caught my attention with this song initially, there are so many other lines that when considered with Bones in mind, come across as surprisingly poignant (I dreamed a dream for you, and now your dream is real). Depending on your point of view there may also be a bit of a dig at Booth's early s6 behaviour (in a bit of a back-to-front way) to be found part way through (You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin, yeah. Now you just say 'Oh Romeo, yeah, you know I used to hav a scene with him.').
For these reasons and for some others that I won't ramble about at length here, this is a surprisingly appropriate track that never fails to draw me into a little bit of show-related musing. Also, the line thrown back and forth about the 'time being wrong' ties in quite nicely with an idea I've recently incorporated into my already mentioned fic Fear Of... which makes it all the more fitting in my eyes.
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Ingrid Michaelson - Soldier
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I don't believe in anything but myself, I don't believe in anything but myself,
But then you opened up a door, you opened up a door, now I start to believe in something else.
But how do I know if I'll make it through?
How do I know? Where's the proof in you?
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I have a million strong independent women-type songs on my playlist that I always seem to associate with Brennan - quite possibly because I'm a bit like her character in that regard and I have a tendency to identify more personally with this particular type of music, but all the same, when faced with quite a few choices in terms of what to include, this one seems to win every time.
This is a song that asks for proof, a song that acknowledges that love is hard and if that isn't a song for Brennan, I don't know what is.
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So there you have it: I could have incorporated so many other tracks, but at the risk of going on forever and making you think that I am actually a little bit unhinged, here you have some of my favourites as part of (what I think is) an awesome Bones fanmix that might just get you thinking about the show.
*In case you were wondering, W got married a few weeks back. And not to me.
**Big love to summerren who read an earlier draft of this and despite it being a bit all over the place, calmly reassured me that I shouldn't delete it all and start again. She's posting on the 22nd, so you should definitely check that out and leave her lots and lots of love on her debut BGA post.