Who I was and am ...

[bonoboboy]

I've been thinking a lot lately about my struggles with depression. I recently looked back a few years in my journal and can see just how much I was struggling, even then. I think I've been having issues in this area for a very long time, long enough that I think my brain probably thinks that being depressed is something of a normal state of being

Comments

[mab1981]

"Is there some way to rationalize everything, to work it out in my head so I can find a reason to keep going."

I've said this to you time and time again, and I will continue to say it, in the hopes that one day, you will be fortunate to peer through the clouds for a moment and realize the truth in the matter:

Yes. It's called mental health treatment. It involves therapy of both the talk and medical type, managed by a mental health professional (not self-medication). Go forth.

I'm not trying to be callous, but as I suffer with my own mental health issues, and have seen so many others around me destroyed by them, I get frustrated and angry that people don't tap into the help that they have around them. Pushing people away will get you nowhere. And the more I get pushed, eventually, the less I push back.

MAB

[bonoboboy]

Thanks for the comment, MAB

[griton]

Wow. Definitely some tough thoughts.

Though I want you to know that I consider you a very important person in my past. You introduced me to Reiki, and that has become a defining part of who I am, and that has since been shared with others by me in the same fashion.

As for favors, I tend to agree with you in part. Which is why I don't believe in favors as an exchange (unless specified up front). If I do something for someone, it is because I want to do it. If something happens after that, so be it. It doesn't change that I wanted to do it then, and I don't do it because I think I should or have to or because it's the nice thing to do. It's a personal philosophy that's made my life feel more... 'right'. Don't know if that's something that would help or not.

Hope you're able to figure stuff out, and I'm sorry to hear it's been so tough on you.

Many blessings!

-Paul

[bonoboboy]

Hi Paul,

Thank you for your comment. I've been meaning to ask what you've been up to lately - especially about Reiki! Did you ever go back to BoysState?

::hugz::

[bonoboboy]

Thank you so much for the comment! I totally understand about being the smart outcast. I may not be as smart as you or Seb, but I can hold my own I think. (I'll show you my undergrad thesis at some point!)

Speaking of which, I'm all for getting to know each other more. Since we're both smart social rejects, maybe we'll have an easy start with not worrying about rejection!

I've been meaning to get back to the rant on cities and society ... hehe, just you wait!

[bonoboboy]

Awwww - thanks! :D

Hi.

[safetytortoise]

I still like you :)

And my mom still asks about you. So my mom likes you too.

Re: Hi.

[bonoboboy]

Hi babes! ::tightsnugz!::

I still like you, too! I've just been too blah in the head to keep up any of my friendships, much to my chagrin. I've really missed you!