Tales from the Boobie Bar!
First one, from Halloween night.
Four older men come in and sit at the bar. They had barely gotten their drinks before they were tossed out :o
D=Dancer
C=Customer
D=*comes around after her set, dancedancesmilesmile* Hi!
C=*immediately tries to shove his hand down the front of her thong*
D=*slaps her hand over her thong immediately, backs up* You can't touch us.
C=I'll do whatever I want! If I can't touch you, I'm sure as hell not giving you a dollar, either!
D=Oh, you think so? Let's see. *waves over the bouncer*
All of 'em tossed. Seriously guys, there's a big fucking sign on the door of this club. Tipping the girls is mandatory. Touching the girls is a huge no-no. It's not that hard. If you don't like the rules, you don't have to come in! Novel concept, I know.
A weird one, this time.
There's this regular that comes in. He's a pumpkin farmer. He tries to convince the girls to buy his pumpkins o.O Some do, others (like myself) aren't fond of pumpkin and thus have no use for them.
So, when I went around for my tips, he asked me if I'd like to buy a pumpkin. I politely declined, and he pestered me about why. I simply said I do not like pumpkin.
He says, "That's un-American!"
Is it? Disliking pumpkin because of the taste and texture is un-American? Really?
That just sort of boggled me. Later in the night though, he got real special on us.
He and another girl were talking, and he brought up a third girl we'll call A. He accused A of having AIDS o.O His reasoning? "She was sniffling and sneezing." When it was gently pointed out that it was probably just the cold that's going around, he held steadfast, saying that it had to be "one of those sex diseases".
And now for another toss out story.
A skinny, tiny little shit comes in. Has a beer, then goes to the bathroom. On the way back from the bathroom, he passes dancer S-and decides it'd be a really awesome idea to shove his finger up her ass o.O
S pushes his hand away, he laughs. She goes to get the bouncer. Right about now, I get onstage, so I get to see the rest of this little drama play out.
Both bouncers go up on either side of the guy, and tell him calmly that he needs to leave, now. The guy doesn't like that idea, and decides to start shoving the two dudes that are twice his size. Bouncer J gets the guy in a headlock from behind, and starts taking him to the door, with bouncer A alongside.
When they get to the door, J releases him. In an odd twist of fate, the guy decided at that exact second to go limp in order to escape. The result? Slam, face in the door. He ended up with a cut across his face. He starts howling, goes outside, and calls the cops.
Cops come. Bouncers and assorted patrons and dancers explain what happened. Cops side with us. Man is carted away to get stitches and then, presumably, to be booked.
Moral of the story? If you're told to leave, then leave. You are not Billy Badass. We will not bend or break rules for you. Breaking them just guarantees that we'll hate you :D
But thanks-
To the rose farmer who came in, and gave each girl three long stemmed roses on top of tipping well (even if the roses were a bit of a bitch to carry around the bar, heh).
To the guy randomly tipping $20's during the day.
And to two other regulars, for tipping $8 a set :)