the nights are hot. and the mornings are cool. and the days...glorious.

cities like this are indescribable. idyllic. beautiful. unconventionally conventional and wonderful.

life is lovely. and i am happy. oh so very happy.

staring at myself in the mirror as my paintbrush slowly traces the line of jaw and the curve of my rib cage, i reflect on myself, and who i once was. i used to paint in colors, perhaps the rose-colored ones i saw, naively, my life in. but, i suppose i always knew on some level that i wasnt as happy as i could be, or rather, as i should be. maybe ( Read more... )

i look forward to the point in my run when my tank top creeps up to that comfortable place on my waist, resting just above my hips. the right side always hits a little further up my side. i fidget a little at first, pulling it down over the waistband of my shorts, but it inches awkwardly during the first mile of my run. i adjust it before saying ( Read more... )

it's saturday night and i feel like i've been staring at my computer all day. it was good to have a day just to think though. i felt oddly disconnected from the world today, and it was wonderful. i often feel that way in my apartment. like when i come up those stairs, I'm in this different place--like I'm home. I guess eugene doesnt quite seem ( Read more... )

and i feel utterly restless. and yet tired. sometimes i wonder where my life i going. sometimes i think back on times that i was happy and wonder why i'm not now...why i'm so far away from those things. sometimes i wonder how i'll ever get back ( Read more... )

I'm not exactly sure what to say, or where to start, which seems just about normal for me. But the thing is, I feel anything but normal. I don't even really know what I feel. Numb. Maybe I feel numb ( Read more... )

sitting, I watched as tears fell onto my naked knees, onto my bare legs. I heaved tonight and cried as if to relieve myself of these such demons which seem to plague me daily. not out of sadness though, but out of frustration--the tears I watched, the ones I cried, came from a frustrated head, a frustrated mind ( Read more... )

I'm graduating today. I dont really know how I feel about that ( Read more... )

i feel cold. like my insides are shivering. like i just cant let go. and even though so much time has passed, it's although nothing has changed. god, am i still that little girl? let me go. just let me be ( Read more... )

i woke up early today and didnt wash my hair. i rarely to on thursdays. it's been cloudy here in the mornings lately. and i like that. i wonder if i'll miss the california sun when i'm gone. because i will be gone, oh so soon ( Read more... )