Do we choose our sexuality?

[boogalish]

At first I always thought that if you were gay, you were born gay. Then I started realizing that all the years of influence from your childhood surroundings, from the time you are born, has a great impact on the choices you make in life. You choose your favorite color, number, food…what you like to do…what you don’t like to do. You’ve chosen and

Comments

[obeythethore]

hello. i found your lj on airik's journal. how are you?

about your thoughts on being gay by choice: i think that it is half nature and half nurture and even that varies. there are many situations in which little boys or girls display homosexual behaviors in sheltered homes. so in that case i think it would be more nature, genetics. but in cases like you were describing, i think that nature play a lesser role in the choice of sexual preference, but is still present. there have been numerous scientific experiments on that exact thing, too.

just thought i should add my opinion. :)

~Sophie

[boogalish]

Yeah, I believe it has to do a little with genetics as well. Some men are born with more femenine genes than others. But I would say, the majority of being gay, is done by choice. As we grow, we choose what we do, and how we act with our given genes.

Re:

[obeythethore]

hmm. i guess so.

Gay "Gene"

[anonymous]

Ha Ha, you know my ass could go on forever on this subject, but I won't cuz I'm tired. I agree with all the above comments as well as yours! If ya really want to get to the nitty gritty of it all, (everything) is predetermined by "you". Take it to whatever "level" you want to take it to, but think about it.

LOVE

G:)

Re: Gay "Gene"

[boogalish]

True dat!

Re: Gay "Gene"

[anonymous]

hey man, i knew you in high school for a short time. just browsin' thru jason's lj and found yours.

just commenting because i'm not gay and experienced being raised in a single mom household very similar to what you described. yeah, i have way more female friends than your average male but still, nothing more to it for me. so based on my experience alone i find it hard to think being gay is a choice. this is shitty reasoning but whatever- i just wanted to say what's up more or less.

i've liked girls all my life... dunno why. don't really care :-P

peace,
suneel thaker.

Re: Gay "Gene"

[boogalish]

Hey Suneel,
I rememba....back in the day. Good ol' High school, NOT! The whole thing about the single mom childhood stuff was just one example that I through out there. I think I commented something about if we choose to act upon whatever tendencies or not. But yeah, anyways... it was nice hearing from you Suneel, I'll have to check out your journals. Talk to you laytta.

[anonymous]

we dont choose our sexuality, just as i didnt conciously "choose" my favorite food or my favorite color... certain tastes just appealed to me naturally, certain colors as well. i knew i liked boys before i could really think about making a concious decision about it, because i didnt even know what the feelings i was having were about.. i just knew that i had a crush on the boy next to me. i will have to disagree with your reasoning on this one.

--Rich

Boo yah!

[boogalish]

OK, we didn't "choose" our favorite food conciously... who made the decision for us? I'm sorry, but it was you and only you. The things you like, the things you grow custom to, everything you do day by day, is because you chose to do them. It was like how I talked about the homeless people on the street the other night...and how you look at them, and everything you see, is all they have right there. You told me that you didn't feel sorry for them, because a lot of them chose to live that way, and I agreed with you. A lot of them are lazy, and would rather just live the homeless life, than go out and actually try to make something of themselves. I'm sure they didn't wake up one day as a child and say to themselves "I want to be a bum when I grow up!" Just like we don't wake up one day as a kid and say "I'm going to be Gay for the rest of my life" It's an unconcious choice brought up by childhood experiences and daily decisions in our life.

Re: Boo yah!

[anonymous]

i know that many homeless people didnt just say "shit i wanna be a bum when i grow up" but when people get into heavy drug use or have chemical imbalances they dont think straight... many homeless people have severe mental problems, many people dont understand that and think they are all normal people just down on their luck (which is true in some cases

Re: Boo yah!

[anonymous]

Exactly. I know dozens of people who are gay and say they wish they weren't and would do anything to be straight and be like other people but it is hard for them to pretend like they did for the first half of there life. I do believe your lifestyle as a child may tamper with who you are but it isn't so much your choice. It's more of your parents subconsciously making you who you are. At that young of an age the choices aren't yours at all. If it was merely a choice it would be just as easy to change. Someone may choose to smoke and see nothing wrong with it but when they see that it causes them cancer they might be able to stop doing that "choice" they made. But I haven't seen anyone able to deny who they are (sexuality wise) because it hurts them and actually start liking what they haven't liked there whole life. I think it is based on your early surroundings and you as a fragile vulnerable child have no say in who you will like. It is different for ever person. I'm pretty sure if you took 50 babies and raced then to think "gay is

[notapuppet4u]

O M G.. i've been reading through the comments and it seems like people have been taking your post a *little* too literally. I totally understand what you're saying. It's like you've taken the thought right out of my head. My parents are divorced.. i've lived mostly with my mother (but also with my father, but not as much..) My relationship with my father really hadn't developed until a few years ago...and I've noticed a pattern of this in many other people as well. I've seen that many gay young adults either come from broken homes or have a weak relationship with their fathers (or both!).. Of course, I don't say that THIS CAUSES IT...and I know that you didn't mean that either... but I certainly believe that there is a connection. There's too many examples of it to be a coincidence. On the other hand, I remember having slightly homosexual tendencies when I was young (maybe 5 or younger..)..but then again, my parents were having difficulties in their marriage around then too (and they were some of my worst memories as well.

[sirensong511]

i couldnt agree more