Where were you? [One shot]
Title:Where were you?
Author: boogie14
Pairing: almost broken Haehyuk
Discleimer: The boys are not mine.
Summary: Donghae had left to China and hadn't called Eunhyuk even once. Eunhyuk's feel really loneley. Meeh e_e i hate summaries.
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Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
It never rang
And all I needed was a call
It never came
It’s been two weeks since you parted from my side to go to China and start with the Suju-M activities. This is not the first time you leave me here and you go to China, it has always been tough not being near the person you love, but we had endure it because you promised you’ll always call me, every day, every night, every free moment you had, you said you’d call me even if it was just to say “I love you”.
But this time it was different, you promised you’d call me, but the phone has never rang, you’re name has never appeared on the screen of my phone. I’ve spent entire nights awake, waiting for your call, staring at the phone, but it never came.
Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
Ya never send me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all my world
It’s been ,now, nearly a month since you went to China and you still haven’t call.I tried not to think about it. I tried to forget that you hadn’t called me. I even tried to make my days less painful being with the other members, playing with them all the time, not letting myself being alone, because if I was alone I remembered you, and I’d start feeling lonely.
Soon the other members realized how I felt, how I only wear fake smiles to distract people from my sadness. I didn’t want them to worry about me but looks like my sadness was so much that I couldn’t hide it for long.
Even a short message would make me smile truthfully again you know? Even if it was as short as “I♥U”, it’s more, that was the only three words I needed to be the smiley and playful person I used to. Or just a message saying you miss or just something telling me you’re alive, telling me you remember me, telling me that you haven’t forgotten me.
In no time you were the reason I lived. You were the reason I walked up early, you were the reason why I couldn’t sleep at night, you were the reason why I kept staring and my phone all the time, because I was waiting, waiting for a call that never came.
I got tired of waiting, so I decided to call you. It rang three times, but you never answered. I tried calling you several times but only the answering machine responded me. I never lost faith that you’ll answer me sometime, so I kept calling and calling. I called you every morning, every night, every free moment I had, but you never answered.
I decided that it was going to be the last time I was calling you, if you didn’t answer me this time I’d just forget about you and move on. It started ringing, It rang two times and I was ready to gave up, when suddenly I heard your voice. It gave me hopes again.
-“Hello?”
-“H-Hae! It’s me, Hyukjae. I was calling because…it’s been pretty long since the last time we talked and you promised you’d call, but I guess you’ve been pretty busy so I decided to call.”
-“Oh!..right, Eunhyukie, I’m really sorry, I was busy and…and…
-“Donghie! Stop talking on the phone! We’re having so much fun, want to ruin it all?”
That was a girl talking, I could hear her, but ..who was she? And what kind of “fun” were they having? Why was he even with her?
-“Hae, who was her?
-“Uh..no nobody important, but listen, Hyukie, I’m really sorry but I need to go ..”
-“Why haven’t you’ve been calling me?....I know you’re busy but…I need you.”
-“I’m sorry Hyukjae, but I need to go now. I’ll explain it all when I get to Korea. Bye”
-“Wait, Hae!!
-“What?”
-“Donghie!! Hurry up! I’m getting cold!”
-“Tell me you love me.”
-“I can’t now, I’m sorry, I’m busy.”
You hang up.
I couldn’t believe I finally got to talk with you, just to find out you were having fun, with a girl. Who knows what you were doing to have fun, but she wasn’t planning to wait long to continue having fun. You couldn’t even said to me you loved me. That really crashed me.
I wanted to believe you were really busy, that you didn’t had free times, that you got home pretty late at night and left early in the morning so you were tired, but something inside of me told me you were avoiding me, told me you had forgotten about me. It hurt, even if I wanted to believe in you I couldn’t. Even if you were calling me “Eunhyukie” as you used to do when you were here, something about it didn’t sound as affectionate as it did.
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
I entered in a strong depression. The person I loved with everything I had was far away having fun while I was suffering because of the loneliness, he hadn’t even called me once, and when I called him and he finally answered he was having fun with another girl, and couldn’t even told me he loved me.
I didn’t get out of my room. I just lied on my bed staring at nothing. I even started losing weight, I really didn’t feel like eating. Leeteuk-hyung and Sungmin-hyung started getting worried. The really are like older brothers for me.They tried to comfort me, but they couldn’t. They even stayed awake with me so that I wouldn’t feel so lonely. They were doing something you didn’t, they tried to make me feel better, to make me feel special, to make me feel that I was important for someone.
Leeteuk-hyung couldn’t stay much time with me, because he had to take care of other things, leader things, but he was confident that Sungmin would stay with me.
I slowly started feeling better. I started forgetting about you, or at least that was what I thought. Now, I had them to support me, to be with me, and more importantly, I had Sungmin. He had been with me and had become the person who put together the pieces of my heart, which you broke, by the way.
But I couldn’t fall in love with him, because I was in love with you. It hurt so much, but it was the truth. Even if I wanted to fall in love with him, I couldn’t, because my love for you was too strong. I hated it, I hated it because you hurt me so much and I still couldn’t hate you. I wanted to ripped my heart off, and get a new one, one where there was no you, not even a single spot of Lee Donghae.
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Where were you? Where were you?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, to find me
It’s been two month since you left. Leeteuk-hyung entered to my room, happy and with a big smile on his face. He told me that the Suju-M members where coming back…today. I knew he thought the news would make me feel better, but they didn’t, though I still smiled at him, so that he wouldn’t feel disappointed.
Once he left my room, I closed the door and started crying, I cried so much I lost my balance and fell to the floor, but I didn’t care and just continue crying. I’ve cried a lot since you left, but this time I didn’t only cried because of sadness, I cried, also, because I was angry, angry with you because you didn’t bother to call me again after the last time I talked to you, because you never thought about me; and angry with me, because even though you hurt me I still loved you, I loved you so much I was actually happy to see you again.
Sungmin heard me crying and entered to my room. He didn’t say a word. Perhaps he understands the way I was feeling, no, he did understand. He approached me and hugged me. He hugged me as tightly as he could. I felt kind of relief, in his arms I felt more secure. But never as secure as in yours.
Because of my crying noises, and because Sungmin-hyung was covering my ears with his hands so that I could calm myself, I didn’t hear you entering the dorm, I couldn’t even hear your footsteps approaching my room when you didn’t saw me.
You opened the door and found me, lying on the floor with Sungmin around me. I looked at you with my teary eyes and I tried to stop crying, I didn’t want you to notice I was crying. Though I knew you already realized.
Sungmin also looked at you. You just stare at us. He stopped hugging me and walked away saying that we needed to talk alone. I thanked him.
-“Why was he hugging you so affectively?”
That was the first thing you told me, not even a “hi”, not even and “I missed you”.
-“That’s the only thing you could see? Can’t you realize I’m crying! And all because of you?”
Tears started to fall out of my eyes again.
-“I’m sorry, but I’m concerned because it looks like me boyfriend has cheated on me!”
-“You even dare to call me that! You haven’t called me once, not even a single message. You haven’t told me you love me. What is more, the one you answered one of my phone calls, you were with a girl having fun, you didn’t even asked me how I was feeling, you just told me you were “busy”. I needed you, but you weren’t there for me.”
I got everything out of my heart. And you seemed to know what I was talking about and accept it.
-“After that call I waited for you to call me back, but you didn’t. That’s when Sungmin-hyung came and gave me something you didn’t, he gave me comfort, he made me feel like I was needed and loved by someone. You couldn’t even tell me that in a quick text message!”
Tears started falling down your cheeks. I could feel you were sorry, but it was too late, I made a decision of not letting you hurt me again.
-“I know, and…and I’m really sorry Hyukjae, I was wrong but please, forgive me. I need you. To be honest, I did cheated on you, but I felt guilty and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I wanted to talk to you, but I was ashamed of myself, ashamed of not being a good boyfriend and ashamed because I knew I was hurting your precious heart. That time you called me, I couldn’t talk to you because I didn’t know what to say, and I couldn’t say I love you because I felt those words were impure coming from my mouth. I know I was wrong, but I love you, Eunhyukie! When I heard we were coming back to Korea a was really happy because I would be able to see you again, to feel you, to see your beautiful gummy smile, I wanted to ask for your forgiveness, I was going to call you but I decided it was better if we talked face to face. And when I finally got here, I didn’t saw you, so I walked over her just to you crying and in the arms of a guy who wasn’t me. I deserve it. Ii made you suffer so much, I don’t deserve you anymore, but at least, I didn’t want to see you crying, and specially not for a piece of shit like this cheater in front of you.”
I couldn’t believe what you were saying. You cheated on me, but you did care about me, and you felt really sorry, I wanted to forgive you. I know I made a decision, but I couldn’t watch at you, looking so miserable because of me.
-“Telling me that you loved me with just a little message would be enough to make me wait for you with the biggest smile, but you didn’t do it.”
-“I know, and I’m sorry, but I’m asking for your forgiveness and I’m telling you now. I love you, I love you, I love you Lee Hyukjae, like I’ve never and I’ll never love anyone else. You just have to tell me you still love and I’ll make it up for you and I’ll be the best boyfriend you could ever asked for.”
Eunhyuk cried even harder listening at this. He felt really happy to hear those magical three words coming from the mouth of the one and only he had ever loved. He couldn’t stand it anymore and crying even harder he went to the arms of his beloved one and hugged him.
-“I love you, I love you Hae, I felt so lonely when you weren’t by my side, but now, we’re not going to be apart anymore, are we?
-“We won’t’, and even if we do, I promise that I’ll definitely make you feel as if you were by my side. You would never ever feel lonely again.”
Donghae leaned forward to kiss his precious monkey. It was a passionate kiss; both of them put all his feelings towards each other in that kiss. Tears were still coming out of each other’s eyes, but they didn’t care, because now they were tears of happiness. Hyukjae felt alive once again. He really loved Donghae, even if he didn’t want too. Even if there was the slightly possibility that he would cry again because of his love for him. But he was decided to endure it, as long as they stayed together.
-“Just by the way, I never cheated on you.”
-“I know, you are too nice and precious for that. I just didn’t like much the way Sungmin-hyung was hugging you”
They laughed. There were still some tears running down Eunhyuk’s cheeks, which Donghae make sure to stop given him all the kisses he hadn’t in all this time. After that they lied on the bed, hugging each other, praying for this moment to last forever, and for not getting apart ever again. They fell asleep that way, no one bothered them, not even to make them change into their pajamas, because they knew they just wanted sometime for themselves, time to start all over again. It was better to leave them alone.
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I got inspired the the song "You found me" by The Fray. And i even cried by writing it, yeah..i'm a sentimental idot!...
so...i've been writing it instead of doing my homework...so i gotta go...enjoy and tell me what you think!
Now..i still have lots of homework to do and it's already 11:41..i guess i'm not sleeping much today.
-Cookies for the first five person who comment!! :DDD