Seven Deadly Sins - Envy
Author: bookstars
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters/Pairing: Sirius Black/James Potter
Prompt: Envy
Word Count: 1,230
Rating: A strong PG-13.
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the Potterverse, don't sue me - I'm broke. xD
Author's Notes: Not beta-d, so all mistakes are my own. Part two of seven.
James Potter always got everything he wanted.
He had a loving family and was born into wealth, and as a teenager he had good looks and talent on the Quidditch field and top marks in class even though he was a delightful prankster. It would follow that the boy born into such perfection would have the best friends he could ask for, and indeed, he did have them in the form of Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. Then one night in fifth year, influenced mostly by the rush of hormones accompanying puberty, James decided he wanted Sirius Black as something more than a best mate.
And James Potter always got everything he wanted.
So the trysts began with a reckless ease that accompanied everything James did, starting with a hesitant kiss under his invisibility cloak and escalating quickly to passionate fucks behind silencing spells cast around the curtains of their beds. The relationship was never out in the open, so maybe to James it was nothing more than another thing he had gotten simply because he wanted it. But to Sirius, the pureblood misfit who had been given nothing for free, it was everything.
Sirius Black had been born into dirty pureblood wealth in a family he soon hated, laced with dark loyalties and subtle undercurrents of taboo. The only thing given to him unreservedly was the Black family looks and charm, the charisma and biting wit that everyone in the pureblood line seemed to possess, and he had a sneaking suspicion that if his mother could have taken that away from him, she would. Other than that, he was given nothing - no love, no companionship, no help and no praise. When he finally decided that he couldn’t stand his the wretched house at Grimmauld Place anymore, he left, and wasn’t even given a second thought as his mother blasted him off the family tapestry.
What Sirius did get, however, was a bit of luck - he found a trio of boys who would be his saving grace during his years at Hogwarts; and when James Potter, a boy ridiculously indistinguishable from the young aristocrat, came to him with siren words of something more than just friends, Sirius was stoically ecstatic and agreed without hesitation. But as James saw the pact they made as a quick fuck, Sirius saw it as a new relationship, a duo emerging from the quartet of Marauders. He gave James his all, and when he came to James in the summer of their sixth year, fumbling over his words as he explained he was essentially disowned, James’ response had fooled him into thinking that the effort was the same on both parts. But in truth, James only saw the benefits of spending the rest of the summer with someone who would hang out with him during the day and give him blowjobs at night. What more could any seventeen year-old want?
And James Potter always got everything he wanted.
Then in strutted one Lily Evans, possibly the one girl in Hogwarts who would turn down a night with either James or Sirius - and that alone was tempting enough for a boy who had always gotten what he wanted. James wanted her simply because he couldn’t have her; he pined over her, asked her out endless times and endured many biting remarks from the girl in return. But Sirius never thought twice. He knew that what he and James had was special. This fleeting fancy with some redheaded bird was nothing more than a phase, something else for James to get and add to his mental trophy collection. And that’s where Sirius Black was wrong.
It was in seventh year when Lily finally agreed to a date with James, and Sirius fought to hide his contempt. One date turned into two turned into ten and suddenly, Lily’s green eyes seemed to ignite a green monster of envy in Sirius’ chest. He would watch the couple holding hands and have a roaring desire to pull them apart. He would see them kiss in between classes and wished he could be claiming James’ lips as his own. James had become Sirius’ world, and he soon began to hate the boy as much as he loved him because of everything the world had blessed James fucking Potter with.
It was like being both sides of the coin at once. James’ spectacular goals in Quidditch always had made Sirius selflessly happy and proud of his friend, but now he felt himself envious of the skills that the stag had which he didn’t. Every test James aced after staying out late the night before fueled Sirius’ fire, and the more it was stoked, the more he thought. And yet, he never said a word, because even though a large part of him had begun to hate James for everything he himself didn’t have, a larger part of him still loved him too. Sirius couldn’t live with himself if he made James upset. All James had wanted was a new way to get off until some bird came around, and Sirius knew it but he would never admit it to himself. All he had been to James was someone to pull off a prank with and someone to get off with at night.
And James Potter always got everything he wanted.
After the trio had graduated, just a month into the summer, James had come to Sirius grinning wildly with the news that Lily had agreed to marry him. Sirius feigned another smile, patting James firmly on the shoulder - “Knew she’d come around, mate,” - and agreed to be James’ best man just as he had agreed to everything else James had ever asked of him.
It was that moment in which Sirius realized James’ pattern. In the beginning of school, James didn’t want to be alone and he wanted a friend (and Sirius was his best). After a couple years when school was boring, James wanted to pull pranks, and he wanted accomplices (and Sirius was his partner in crime). A few years later and puberty hit and James wanted satisfaction with no strings attached (and Sirius had followed like a puppy). When the dawn of maturity rose, James wanted a peaceful home and a family with a baby… and that was the one thing Sirius couldn’t give to him. Sirius, after seven long years of being exactly what James needed, couldn’t give him what he wanted.
But James always got everything he wanted.
The wedding was everything a wedding was supposed to be, teary and happy and bustling. The bride’s family was there and the groom’s family was there and so were the Marauders and it was all ceremony and devotion. Lily smiles blissfully as she says “I do,” and Sirius remembers when he himself said the same words to the same boy.
“I know we’re already best mates, and that’s why I thought since we’re both single… that is, I thought we could… y’know, be something more. I mean, only if you want. D-do you want to?”
“I do.”
Standing in the best man’s place next to the groom, it was torture to watch James lean in and kiss Lily, a hand cupping her soft cheek. Sirius’ grey gaze never left James, and he stood staring at everything he couldn’t have and the only thing he had ever wanted.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters/Pairing: Sirius Black/James Potter
Prompt: Envy
Word Count: 1,230
Rating: A strong PG-13.
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns the Potterverse, don't sue me - I'm broke. xD
Author's Notes: Not beta-d, so all mistakes are my own. Part two of seven.
James Potter always got everything he wanted.
He had a loving family and was born into wealth, and as a teenager he had good looks and talent on the Quidditch field and top marks in class even though he was a delightful prankster. It would follow that the boy born into such perfection would have the best friends he could ask for, and indeed, he did have them in the form of Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. Then one night in fifth year, influenced mostly by the rush of hormones accompanying puberty, James decided he wanted Sirius Black as something more than a best mate.
And James Potter always got everything he wanted.
So the trysts began with a reckless ease that accompanied everything James did, starting with a hesitant kiss under his invisibility cloak and escalating quickly to passionate fucks behind silencing spells cast around the curtains of their beds. The relationship was never out in the open, so maybe to James it was nothing more than another thing he had gotten simply because he wanted it. But to Sirius, the pureblood misfit who had been given nothing for free, it was everything.
Sirius Black had been born into dirty pureblood wealth in a family he soon hated, laced with dark loyalties and subtle undercurrents of taboo. The only thing given to him unreservedly was the Black family looks and charm, the charisma and biting wit that everyone in the pureblood line seemed to possess, and he had a sneaking suspicion that if his mother could have taken that away from him, she would. Other than that, he was given nothing - no love, no companionship, no help and no praise. When he finally decided that he couldn’t stand his the wretched house at Grimmauld Place anymore, he left, and wasn’t even given a second thought as his mother blasted him off the family tapestry.
What Sirius did get, however, was a bit of luck - he found a trio of boys who would be his saving grace during his years at Hogwarts; and when James Potter, a boy ridiculously indistinguishable from the young aristocrat, came to him with siren words of something more than just friends, Sirius was stoically ecstatic and agreed without hesitation. But as James saw the pact they made as a quick fuck, Sirius saw it as a new relationship, a duo emerging from the quartet of Marauders. He gave James his all, and when he came to James in the summer of their sixth year, fumbling over his words as he explained he was essentially disowned, James’ response had fooled him into thinking that the effort was the same on both parts. But in truth, James only saw the benefits of spending the rest of the summer with someone who would hang out with him during the day and give him blowjobs at night. What more could any seventeen year-old want?
And James Potter always got everything he wanted.
Then in strutted one Lily Evans, possibly the one girl in Hogwarts who would turn down a night with either James or Sirius - and that alone was tempting enough for a boy who had always gotten what he wanted. James wanted her simply because he couldn’t have her; he pined over her, asked her out endless times and endured many biting remarks from the girl in return. But Sirius never thought twice. He knew that what he and James had was special. This fleeting fancy with some redheaded bird was nothing more than a phase, something else for James to get and add to his mental trophy collection. And that’s where Sirius Black was wrong.
It was in seventh year when Lily finally agreed to a date with James, and Sirius fought to hide his contempt. One date turned into two turned into ten and suddenly, Lily’s green eyes seemed to ignite a green monster of envy in Sirius’ chest. He would watch the couple holding hands and have a roaring desire to pull them apart. He would see them kiss in between classes and wished he could be claiming James’ lips as his own. James had become Sirius’ world, and he soon began to hate the boy as much as he loved him because of everything the world had blessed James fucking Potter with.
It was like being both sides of the coin at once. James’ spectacular goals in Quidditch always had made Sirius selflessly happy and proud of his friend, but now he felt himself envious of the skills that the stag had which he didn’t. Every test James aced after staying out late the night before fueled Sirius’ fire, and the more it was stoked, the more he thought. And yet, he never said a word, because even though a large part of him had begun to hate James for everything he himself didn’t have, a larger part of him still loved him too. Sirius couldn’t live with himself if he made James upset. All James had wanted was a new way to get off until some bird came around, and Sirius knew it but he would never admit it to himself. All he had been to James was someone to pull off a prank with and someone to get off with at night.
And James Potter always got everything he wanted.
After the trio had graduated, just a month into the summer, James had come to Sirius grinning wildly with the news that Lily had agreed to marry him. Sirius feigned another smile, patting James firmly on the shoulder - “Knew she’d come around, mate,” - and agreed to be James’ best man just as he had agreed to everything else James had ever asked of him.
It was that moment in which Sirius realized James’ pattern. In the beginning of school, James didn’t want to be alone and he wanted a friend (and Sirius was his best). After a couple years when school was boring, James wanted to pull pranks, and he wanted accomplices (and Sirius was his partner in crime). A few years later and puberty hit and James wanted satisfaction with no strings attached (and Sirius had followed like a puppy). When the dawn of maturity rose, James wanted a peaceful home and a family with a baby… and that was the one thing Sirius couldn’t give to him. Sirius, after seven long years of being exactly what James needed, couldn’t give him what he wanted.
But James always got everything he wanted.
The wedding was everything a wedding was supposed to be, teary and happy and bustling. The bride’s family was there and the groom’s family was there and so were the Marauders and it was all ceremony and devotion. Lily smiles blissfully as she says “I do,” and Sirius remembers when he himself said the same words to the same boy.
“I know we’re already best mates, and that’s why I thought since we’re both single… that is, I thought we could… y’know, be something more. I mean, only if you want. D-do you want to?”
“I do.”
Standing in the best man’s place next to the groom, it was torture to watch James lean in and kiss Lily, a hand cupping her soft cheek. Sirius’ grey gaze never left James, and he stood staring at everything he couldn’t have and the only thing he had ever wanted.