Enigma Variations, 20/?: Time Is On My Side
Title: Enigma Variations, 20/?: Time Is On My Side
Summary: after the Crunch, Naboo and Saboo have made a new start; Vince and Howard are recovering nicely…
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Spoilers: what could possibly go wrong? (*laughs evilly*)
Length: about 1100 words
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters, I just borrow them to play with now and again (and again and again and again). For twisted love, not for profit
Notes: third part of enigmatic epic starts here. This is a harmless intro while I get up to speed; future chapters may contain (in no particular order) violence, torture, self-harm, and borderline non-consensual sex. Yes, and tentacles. Pink ones. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
Enigma Variations
20 Time Is On My Side (Yes It Is)…
It’s quiet in the flat. Nice cosy quiet.
Naboo and Bollo have fired up the magic carpet and taken off for Xooberon for the weekend for a meeting of the Board of Shamen; and since it’s a rainy Friday afternoon with few customers, Howard and Vince closed the shop early.
They have put the time to good use.
“Ow!”
“Don’t be such a wimp, Howard.” Vince runs the comb through Howard’s hair one more time, then leans back and looks critically at his handiwork. “It’s not my fault your hair’s so thin.”
“Fine. My hair is fine, Vince, not thin. It’s an important semantic distinction.”
Vince snorts.
“What’s so funny?”
“Thought I’d just spent half an hour washing all of that out of it.”
“Semantic, Vince… oh, never mind. Just be careful with that comb, OK?”
“I’m always careful with my comb. This, my friend, is a design tool in the hands of a master. Your hair’s gonna look genius by the time I’m finished with it.”
Vince goes back to his work, enjoying the feeling of Howard’s soft, thin hair between his fingers. Even if it is a bit like combing smoke: you only have to breathe on it and it’s all over the place again.
After shutting the shop, they went for a little sleepy, which turned into something that wasn’t sleepy at all. Hence the need for shower times and Howard singing ‘Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of my Hair’ while Vince helped him to do exactly that.
It was very nice indeed, all of it, but it was a bit one-way and there’s something that Vince forgot to ask, in the heat of the moment.
“Howard?”
“Yes, little man?”
“I was just wondering. I mean… I know my bits’re back in working order and everything, but what about yours?”
“Mine are fine. Coming along fine, mending nicely, and no, you don’t need to check them out for me.”
“Don’t need to. Want to, though. This afternoon was so good, Howard, isn’t there somethin’ I can do for you?”
“Well…” Howard is tempted, Vince can tell by the way he’s chewing on the corner of his moustache. And by the way he’s just crossed his legs so Vince can’t see what’s happening inside his dressing gown.
Vince puts the comb down on the coffee table and slides off the sofa to kneel at Howard’s feet. “How about a Number Five?”
Howard thinks about this for a while; Vince watches those beloved Northern features as they switch rapidly between Nordic Worry and Turkish Lust and finally settle into their familiar pre-blowie expression of Moderate Yorkshire Anticipation.
“All right, but it’ll have to be a very gentle one.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll be in good hands. And” - Vince grins wickedly - “in an even better mouth.”
…
“Hey, Howard.”
“Mmm?” His long, lean frame totally relaxed after what was clearly one of Vince’s better Number Fives, Howard settles his head more comfortably on Vince’s shoulder.
“D’you think Saboo’s gonna be at the board meeting too?”
“I’d assumed so, yes. There’s no reason he wouldn’t be.”
“I hope it’s all going all right.”
Howard reaches up to stroke Vince’s hair. “Of course it is. He’s… well, you saw how he was last week, when he came round to apologise.”
“After we’d spent three days persuading Naboo to pick up the phone.” Vince grins at the memory. “Otherwise he’d still be sitting here staring at it.”
He glances across the room to where the almost-black roses are still in flawless full bloom in their vase, on top of the TV set. “Poor Naboolio. He found it so hard to make the next move…”
Howard mimics the little shaman’s lisping voice. “ ‘I don’t know how to do this.’ ”
“ 'Just call him,' ” Vince says, pretending to be Howard.
“ ‘I can’t, I’m not ready to hear his voice -’ ”
“ 'Listen, he’s sitting there waiting, staring at his phone too, an’ I never thought I’d feel sorry for him but the poor sod, put him out of his misery, sir…' ”
“ ‘I can’t, I can’t think what to say…’ ”
“An’ eventually you suggested he text him, an’ it took him about another half an hour to type ‘think I’m ready, so what happens now?’…”
“…and of course Saboo rang him straight back. The poor sod had been sitting staring at his phone too.” Howard pulls Vince closer. “I thought Naboo’d never stop crying when he finally rang off again and told us he’d been invited out for dinner...”
“It was good Saboo came to apologise to us first, that can’t have been easy for him, he’s always been so up himself with all that humans-are-inferior crap. But he was actually quite nice, for a change.”
“I think he’d realised the boot was on the other foot. That he’d have to start all over again, and do it properly this time. He even asked my advice about the proper procedures for courtship… Oi.” Howard pokes Vince in the ribs. “Stop sniggering. Howard Moon knows what is expected of an old-fashioned gentleman, sir.”
Vince smiles, and hugs Howard tight, breathing in the scent of that big Northern body, all sweat and tweed and coffee and sex. “I’m not complainin’ about your courtship procedures, Howard. It was a happy laugh, not a dissing-Howard one. I was just thinkin’ about how Naboo was walkin’ on air when he came back afterwards…”
“And all they’d done was have dinner and talk. He couldn’t remember what they’d eaten, even.”
“Or what they’d talked about. But whatever it was, it convinced him they did have somethin’ in common apart from just the gone-wrong sex.”
“They’d just never spent enough time together to find that out, before.” Howard sounds thoughtful. “They’re lucky that they’re such a long-lived species. Humans don’t get much time to get it right. But one thing those two have got plenty of is time.”
“An’ now they can start again, take it slow… Poor Naboo, he was so worried he’d just get the brush-off, an’ now it’s like all his Christmases and birthdays have come at once an’ he can’t quite believe it. I thought he was goin’ to talk about Saboo all night.”
“Smitten,” Howard says. “Utterly, totally smitten. I know the feeling.”
“Pretty good goin’ after three hundred years though, eh?”
“Vince, if you and I had three hundred years together, we’d be the same.”
“Yeah.” Vince reaches up to kiss Howard. “Yeah, Howard, I reckon we would.”
Summary: after the Crunch, Naboo and Saboo have made a new start; Vince and Howard are recovering nicely…
Rating: PG
Warnings: none
Spoilers: what could possibly go wrong? (*laughs evilly*)
Length: about 1100 words
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters, I just borrow them to play with now and again (and again and again and again). For twisted love, not for profit
Notes: third part of enigmatic epic starts here. This is a harmless intro while I get up to speed; future chapters may contain (in no particular order) violence, torture, self-harm, and borderline non-consensual sex. Yes, and tentacles. Pink ones. Don’t say I didn’t warn you…
Enigma Variations
20 Time Is On My Side (Yes It Is)…
It’s quiet in the flat. Nice cosy quiet.
Naboo and Bollo have fired up the magic carpet and taken off for Xooberon for the weekend for a meeting of the Board of Shamen; and since it’s a rainy Friday afternoon with few customers, Howard and Vince closed the shop early.
They have put the time to good use.
“Ow!”
“Don’t be such a wimp, Howard.” Vince runs the comb through Howard’s hair one more time, then leans back and looks critically at his handiwork. “It’s not my fault your hair’s so thin.”
“Fine. My hair is fine, Vince, not thin. It’s an important semantic distinction.”
Vince snorts.
“What’s so funny?”
“Thought I’d just spent half an hour washing all of that out of it.”
“Semantic, Vince… oh, never mind. Just be careful with that comb, OK?”
“I’m always careful with my comb. This, my friend, is a design tool in the hands of a master. Your hair’s gonna look genius by the time I’m finished with it.”
Vince goes back to his work, enjoying the feeling of Howard’s soft, thin hair between his fingers. Even if it is a bit like combing smoke: you only have to breathe on it and it’s all over the place again.
After shutting the shop, they went for a little sleepy, which turned into something that wasn’t sleepy at all. Hence the need for shower times and Howard singing ‘Gonna Wash That Man Right Out of my Hair’ while Vince helped him to do exactly that.
It was very nice indeed, all of it, but it was a bit one-way and there’s something that Vince forgot to ask, in the heat of the moment.
“Howard?”
“Yes, little man?”
“I was just wondering. I mean… I know my bits’re back in working order and everything, but what about yours?”
“Mine are fine. Coming along fine, mending nicely, and no, you don’t need to check them out for me.”
“Don’t need to. Want to, though. This afternoon was so good, Howard, isn’t there somethin’ I can do for you?”
“Well…” Howard is tempted, Vince can tell by the way he’s chewing on the corner of his moustache. And by the way he’s just crossed his legs so Vince can’t see what’s happening inside his dressing gown.
Vince puts the comb down on the coffee table and slides off the sofa to kneel at Howard’s feet. “How about a Number Five?”
Howard thinks about this for a while; Vince watches those beloved Northern features as they switch rapidly between Nordic Worry and Turkish Lust and finally settle into their familiar pre-blowie expression of Moderate Yorkshire Anticipation.
“All right, but it’ll have to be a very gentle one.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll be in good hands. And” - Vince grins wickedly - “in an even better mouth.”
…
“Hey, Howard.”
“Mmm?” His long, lean frame totally relaxed after what was clearly one of Vince’s better Number Fives, Howard settles his head more comfortably on Vince’s shoulder.
“D’you think Saboo’s gonna be at the board meeting too?”
“I’d assumed so, yes. There’s no reason he wouldn’t be.”
“I hope it’s all going all right.”
Howard reaches up to stroke Vince’s hair. “Of course it is. He’s… well, you saw how he was last week, when he came round to apologise.”
“After we’d spent three days persuading Naboo to pick up the phone.” Vince grins at the memory. “Otherwise he’d still be sitting here staring at it.”
He glances across the room to where the almost-black roses are still in flawless full bloom in their vase, on top of the TV set. “Poor Naboolio. He found it so hard to make the next move…”
Howard mimics the little shaman’s lisping voice. “ ‘I don’t know how to do this.’ ”
“ 'Just call him,' ” Vince says, pretending to be Howard.
“ ‘I can’t, I’m not ready to hear his voice -’ ”
“ 'Listen, he’s sitting there waiting, staring at his phone too, an’ I never thought I’d feel sorry for him but the poor sod, put him out of his misery, sir…' ”
“ ‘I can’t, I can’t think what to say…’ ”
“An’ eventually you suggested he text him, an’ it took him about another half an hour to type ‘think I’m ready, so what happens now?’…”
“…and of course Saboo rang him straight back. The poor sod had been sitting staring at his phone too.” Howard pulls Vince closer. “I thought Naboo’d never stop crying when he finally rang off again and told us he’d been invited out for dinner...”
“It was good Saboo came to apologise to us first, that can’t have been easy for him, he’s always been so up himself with all that humans-are-inferior crap. But he was actually quite nice, for a change.”
“I think he’d realised the boot was on the other foot. That he’d have to start all over again, and do it properly this time. He even asked my advice about the proper procedures for courtship… Oi.” Howard pokes Vince in the ribs. “Stop sniggering. Howard Moon knows what is expected of an old-fashioned gentleman, sir.”
Vince smiles, and hugs Howard tight, breathing in the scent of that big Northern body, all sweat and tweed and coffee and sex. “I’m not complainin’ about your courtship procedures, Howard. It was a happy laugh, not a dissing-Howard one. I was just thinkin’ about how Naboo was walkin’ on air when he came back afterwards…”
“And all they’d done was have dinner and talk. He couldn’t remember what they’d eaten, even.”
“Or what they’d talked about. But whatever it was, it convinced him they did have somethin’ in common apart from just the gone-wrong sex.”
“They’d just never spent enough time together to find that out, before.” Howard sounds thoughtful. “They’re lucky that they’re such a long-lived species. Humans don’t get much time to get it right. But one thing those two have got plenty of is time.”
“An’ now they can start again, take it slow… Poor Naboo, he was so worried he’d just get the brush-off, an’ now it’s like all his Christmases and birthdays have come at once an’ he can’t quite believe it. I thought he was goin’ to talk about Saboo all night.”
“Smitten,” Howard says. “Utterly, totally smitten. I know the feeling.”
“Pretty good goin’ after three hundred years though, eh?”
“Vince, if you and I had three hundred years together, we’d be the same.”
“Yeah.” Vince reaches up to kiss Howard. “Yeah, Howard, I reckon we would.”