Title The Things We Do For Love
Summary Despite his disgust, Vince indulges Howard's dirty kink...
Characters Howard/Vince
Rating NC-17. It's not as bad as you think...
Words 500-ish?
Disclaimer Don't Own the Boosh, don't make money off this, don't sue me, I'm broke anyway.
A/N This fic brought to you by the influence of vodka, drunken friends, and a discussion of the "2Boys1Cup" request on the Kink meme...That, and the fact that I am genuinely squicked out by
scat play.
This also happen to be my first Boosh fic. Egads, what a way to start out...
Warning!: "Scat play" within this Crackity McCrack Crack Crack Fic.
Vince couldn't believe Howard had talked him into this. He shifted himself around on the bed, betraying his nervousness. Vince always knew Howard was weird, but this was just plain wrong. All kinds of wrong. About a thousand shades of wrong.
"Go on then," whispered Howard. He was lying back on the bed. Waiting.
Vince ran a hand over the nape of his neck. His neck and face felt so hot, he could feel the redness creeping up his face the more he thought about this. Vince wasn't sure he could go through with it. He was a pretty open minded guy but his stomach turned at the very thought it. This sick and perverted act that Howard had asked him to do. "Howard? I dunno if I can do this."
"Please Vince. I really want you to do this for me."
Vince shifted around, trying to get himself in a better position. He looked down at Howard lying there, one hand on his chest and the other arm draped over his face, so that only the lower half of his face could be seen. Vince was glad he didn't have Howards gaze upon him at that moment. Vince knew that it had been difficult for Howard to tell him about this particular kink of his. In theory Vince would do anything to make Howard happy, but this was really pushing it. Vince tried to forget his discomfort and swallowed hard, preparing himself for what we was about to do.
"Please," a husky whisper from the man below him.
Vince took a deep breath, thought to himself, the things we do for love, and he began....
"Boop dee-boop, doobie doobie wah-wah." Vince winced, disgusted with himself.
"Keep going..." Howard insisted.
Vinced coughed lightly and continued. "Bad-da, bad-da, bah, bah. Chicka wah bad-da bah bah BAH!"
Howard moaned, Vince looked down at him in shock, his eyes wide. Jesus, thought Vince, he's really getting off on this. Wanting to see just how much control over Howard he had, Vince turned himself towards Howard, and softly whispered, "Badda, badda, boop, de-boop. Dadda dad-da daaaaa deedo."
Sighing to himself, Howard moved his hand down his chest and slipped it down into the front of his trousers.
Taking this as an encouragement, Vince continued. "Doobie dooobie shaba doobie ding da-ding. Dingda doobie dabba shabba doobie ding dabba doobie dooooooooo!"
"Oh yeah..." groaned Howard, the hand down his trousers moving steadily.
Vince raised an eyebrow and decided some teasing was in order. "Daba daaaaba.....beeeee dooo waah waah.......dubba dubba dooooo waaaaaaaaah..."
"More." Howard groaned. His arm finally moving off his face, allowing Vince to see just how pink Howard's cheeks were now.
Smiling for the first time since they began this, Vince kept going. "Shooo, doobie doobie doubily do-wee, do-wee doo-waah! Bab ba babbbily babbily baa booop booo-wah bab bad bow-ooow!"
Another groan from the now slack-jawed Howard. Vince could barely suppress a choppy laugh. This was just brilliant.
"Bee-bop a shooo badow! Bee-dee bee-dee ba-booow! Bada bada ba-boow!"
"Faster." Howard gasped, as he used his other hand to tweak a stiff nipple. Vince, his disgust long forgotten, was enjoying himself. He leaned right over Howard, an arm on either side of the writhing body beneath him, and decided it was time to really let him have it.
"ShaaabbabbilyBabAhHeyDidddilyDobabbblilyShabbbilyDoooDabbiylBooopDooopDoooilyBabbahBahBahBaaaaahBapDummDiddilyDum. Baddabap baddabap bee bap awow! Hoodily hoodily namanama bebop awow-wow! Doobily doobily doooobily dooo-wah, shinny sham bada bada bam bam, ooooOOOOooo wha cha cha how! Bamma biddily bam baow, doo-dee dum dah-dow, be-doop be-dah boo wah. Skiddiliy skabawow, shoo-doop, shoo-doop, shoo-doop, bee-boop be-boop...BAAAAM BAAM A-BAM DUM DIDDILY DEE WHOOOOO WOW!!"
"Oh fuck YES!" Howard's face was bright pink as he came, his body arching up towards Vince. Vince's didn't dare move, he remained frozen, his mouth hanging open at the amazing sight before him.
A few minutes later, as Howard lay panting and Vinced settled himself down next to him. Vince was amazed, he never imagined any of Howard's secret kinks could be so much fun. Now if only he could convince Howard to dress up as Adam Ant...
(An extra special thanks goes out to Ella Fitzgerald with helping with most of the dialogue.)