The Redemption of Booster Gold. Chapter 4
Title: The Redemption of Booster Gold -- Chapter Four: Education
Fandom: Justice League
Characters: Booster, Beetle, Junior (OMC), Wonder Woman, Superman
Prompt: "How."
Word Count: 2507
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: The how of Booster going from shooting Batman to bringing Ted back from the dead. A prequel of sorts, going over the things the first Mullet-verse Prologue skipped over. Exploring the details and day-to-day of the progression of obsession and mourning, as well as the origins of Junior and Zombie Max.
CHAPTERS: { Prologue: Absolution }{ Chapter One: Benediction }{ Chapter Two: Consecration }{ Chapter Three: Delegation }{ Chapter Four: Education }{ Chapter Five: Flagellation }{ Epilogue: Glorification }
<-{ previous story: Mullet-verse handbook/guide } { next story: Hairy Situations and Situational Hair }->
Beta by alba_aulbath.
~4th Chapter: Education
Education includes all those experiences by which intelligence is developed, knowledge acquired, and character formed.
-----
"...Okay, Booster--go ahead."
"I told you, Beetle--" Booster protested, arm shaking a little as he tried and failed to use his blaster. "I can't."
"Sure you can. You've done this a million times before. Just press the little button and blast us outta here."
"It's no use! It's like someone's flipped over a switch in my brain and--"
"You have a brain--?"
"Hardy-har-har. You're so smart--you try."
"I can't do it either!" Beetle snapped, looking pained to admit it.
"Hmmmm. So...now what?" Booster asked, looking at Beetle thoughtfully.
"I dunno. Wanna see who can do the most push-ups?"
"Actually, I've got a better idea...." Booster said slowly.
"Oh? What's that?"
"This," Booster said with sudden determination, grabbing Beetle's shoulders and lowering his head to kiss the man firmly on the lips. He prepared to throw up his forcefield if Beetle decided to punch him for it, but he was hoping that with all the...cavalier-ness, Beetle wouldn't be so inclined to hurt him.
Beetle never threw a punch, or hurt him. Instead, he kissed back. Eagerly.
As Beetle's hands settled firmly on Booster's ass, pulling him in closer, Booster wrapped his arms around the man and moaned softly. Perfect. It was perfect. Why hadn't he done this years ago?
"Aren't you a married man?" Beetle asked breathlessly when their lips parted for a moment.
"Soon I'll be single again," Booster muttered in response, hands roaming over Beetle's back. He had him. Warm and willing and alive--
Alive?
"You're getting divorced--?" Beetle continued, tilting his head back as Booster nibbled at his jaw.
"Well, no. But--Wait, haven't we already had this conversation?"
"The merchandise will be silent!" Ted snapped, hooking a hand behind his head and bringing their lips together once more.
"That sounds familiar too," Booster groaned against Ted's mouth.
"Get a grip, Booster. You're acting like some jilted lover."
"Well, that's what it feels like! Wait--"
"You can stop looking."
"No," Booster whispered, holding Ted tighter as if he might vanish any minute. But he felt...he felt weak. Sore, tired, hurt, and Ted wasn't in his arms anymore. "I've lost too many people I love, too many friends! My sister...Ice...Sue...now Skeets...Like hell I'm gonna stay here and watch it happen to you too."
"Booster, you're in no condition to--" Ted started gently.
"No!" Booster shouted, grabbing his arm and holding on desperately. "Like hell I'm gonna stay here and watch it happen to you, too."
"Booster, whatever happens, it's not your fault."
"No! Ted, you selfish bastard, don't you dare!" Beyond his reach, he was...could barely see him, and dread churned in his stomach as tendrils of awareness of what was coming snaked through his mind. "Don't leave me again!"
"You can stop looking."
"Ted!"
"I never had a better friend--"
"NO!"
Sudden light as he opened his eyes made him gasp and wince, chest heaving as adrenaline coursed through him. Ted! Ted was...he had to--
There was a sound at his side and he jerked away as he turned to look. Surprised blue eyes stared at him from behind yellow goggles and strands of uncombed brown hair. Awareness suddenly came rushing back and a groan escaped him.
Scrubbing a hand over his face, Booster grimaced. His cheeks were a little damp; he wiped them off and then wiped his hand against the cot. "What?" he mumbled groggily, laying back down.
"You were makin' funny noises," Junior whispered. He appeared to be trying to hide, and only his head above his down-turned nose was visible.
Booster groaned and rolled onto his side facing away from the boy. There was no telling which part of the dream had prompted the "funny noises" Junior was talking about, and frankly he didn't want to ask.
"What did I do to deserve this?" he grumbled under his breath. Then Junior poked his shoulder and he winced. "Oh right. That." Sighing, he rolled back over and frowned at the boy. "Don't wake people up when they're making funny noises."
"Why?"
"...It's just...not a good idea," Booster fumbled for words. There was no way in hell he was having The Talk with him. No way.
"Oh. ...'Kay." Junior's eyes darted to the side and he tugged nervously at a loose thread on the cot. "Um...I didn't wake you 'cause of...funny noises."
That was...odd. Booster sat up and peered down at him curiously. This was the first time the genetic construct had interrupted him for anything. Not while he was sleeping, not while he was working. "Oh?"
Not meeting his eyes, Junior stared at the loose thread he was tugging on. That was probably a good thing. When Booster came home to find Junior merrily sorting through a tangle of wires while wearing the yellow goggles, it had been a surprising and painful reminder of Ted. Booster hadn't said anything, and Junior hadn't noticed, so the boy continued to wear them.
Booster just tried not to look at him when he did.
"Um, what's a...a caaas-caaade faaail-uuure?"
It took Booster a moment to realize what Junior was asking. "Cascade failure? Uh...it's something to do with physics or...electricity, I think. Bad thing. Why do you--Where'd you hear that word?"
Junior shrugged. "TV," he said quietly. "There's a lady in a... shiny swimsuit thing. Saving people. ...I don't like news shows, but they made crime scene investigation go away to show it." He looked up in confusion. "Does that mean it's important?"
Booster was on his feet and halfway up the stairs before he thought to answer. "Maybe."
"Oh," Junior said thoughtfully, following close behind.
---------------
It was, as Booster had suspected, Wonder Woman.
Booster crossed his arms over his chest and frowned at the TV. The word "MUTE" was in a corner of the screen, so he had only the caption to provide information. Apparently a nuclear power plant in Arizona had gotten dangerously close to wiping out the nearby population.
The caption was replaced with a side-scrolling list of other Justice Leaguers dealing with disasters. Booster's frown deepened.
"Booster," J'onn's mental voice suddenly echoed through his head. "Are you avai--"
"Fuck off," Booster thought firmly.
"What--"
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves!" It was childish, but after much experimenting Booster and Beetle had once upon a time found that singing that song very loudly in their heads was a good way to annoy J'onn. Singing it out loud worked, too, but it was funny to see J'onn get progressively more irritated when no one else knew what was going on.
Now, he just didn't want to talk to anyone with the League. Especially not after that dream.
"What's that?" Junior asked quietly.
That was when Booster realized he hadn't just been singing in his mind, he'd also started singing under his breath.
"It's...a song. Martians hate it."
Junior nodded. "Oh."
"Listen...why don't you watch a movie or something," Booster suggested, warily eyeing the bright figure of Wonder Woman still on the TV.
Junior stared up at him for a moment, and Booster thought maybe he was going to ask something, but finally the boy shrugged. "'Kay."
Not taking his eyes off the screen, Booster absently patted Junior's shoulder as the boy passed on the way out the door.
"What the hell is going on out there?" he murmured thoughtfully.
---------------
Whatever was going on, it was clear that it was dominating the attention of a large number of heroes.
Which left them unable to deal with simple petty thefts.
"Junior, I'm going out again," Booster told the boy as the opening credits to one of Ted's movies started on the screen.
"Oh," Junior replied, looking disappointed. He stared down at the floor and fiddled with the remote for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Um...whe-where ya goin'?"
"On a crime spree while the heroes are distracted," Booster said, kneeling beside the boy. "The book described some resurrection talismans and I already found where they're being held. I just needed an opportunity like this to get them." He grinned. "I might even be able to get them all before anyone notices."
Junior grinned back tentatively. "Cool."
Setting a hand on Junior's shoulder, Booster smiled reassuringly. "I'll get Ted back soon."
As Junior nodded in response, Booster stood and pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head. Flashing the boy another smile, Booster hurried off.
---------------
Knowing some of the idiots he had stopped while he was a hero, Booster hadn't expected mass theft to be too difficult, but it was still a little surprising how easy it was. Apparently the old "practice makes perfect" saying applied to crime, too.
The illustrations on the pages about the Thigh of Xipe Totec were fairly gruesome, but it was the closest of the items on his "shopping list." It was on display in a museum that apparently hoped to encourage patronage by describing its vastly bloody and brutal history in detail. Booster decided to leave it as a last resort.
He was out of the museum before a routine security check revealed the Thigh was missing.
---------------
Next was an unnamed piece of flax cloth with the faded image of a circle containing a pentagon and a golden apple. The book had gone on at length about someone named Eris, but Booster hadn't been sure if they were the weaver or who it was woven for.
Booster snatched it without reading the museum's paper plaque for it. If he had bothered to read it, he might had been more careful handling it, instead of just stuffing it in his bag along with the Thigh of Xipe Totec.
The plaque spoke of a goddess's chaotic sense of humor and what kind of "gifts" she bestowed.
---------------
Booster flew as fast as his flight ring would allow, only briefly touching down in museums and private collections. Items were taken carefully but quickly and then he was off in search of the next.
A necklace believed to belong to the goddess Isis, something that looked a little like a garbage disposal carved from rock, a sprig of mistletoe carved on a rune stone, an egg-shaped chunk of amber called Cybele's Stone, and more. All of these were placed in the bag slung across Booster's back.
As he was leaving the wealthy home of a private collector, Booster thought he caught sight of Superman and dove out of sight in a nearby forest. Luckily, the so-called "man of steel" appeared distracted and didn't notice him.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Booster leaned his head back against the trunk of a tree he was hovering by. That was probably as good a sign as any that it was time for him to head back.
Tree branches caught at his clothes and bag and Booster tugged free with some difficulty. In the process, his bag tipped over slightly and Cybele's Stone wobbled free, plunging toward the rocky ground below.
Booster bit out a curse and dove after it, just barely catching it with the tips of his fingers as it was about to hit a rock that would most likely shatter it. The Stone teetered on the edge for a moment before falling back into the palms of his hands.
Laying on the hard, cold, uncomfortable forest floor with a stolen rock clutched in his hands, Booster decided it was definitely time to go back.
---------------
Hours later, Booster was squinting at the increasingly harder to read text of The Big Book of Resurrection Rituals. The items he had stolen earlier were sitting on and around the desk and he was doing his best to translate the pages related to them.
The words were blurring in his vision and he was getting a headache.
Sighing, Booster buried his face in his hands and closed his eyes. He was tired, that had to be it. That was the only explanation he was willing to accept for the headache and why he was having so much trouble reading the smaller print. He flat out refused to accept the possibility that he might need reading glasses.
Just thinking about it made him feel old.
With a grimace, Booster leaned back in his chair and dropped his hands, staring up at the ceiling. ...What the hell had Ted been doing down here that had caused that odd burn mark? Huh, weird.
Booster definitely didn't need glasses. Not for reading, not for anything. He wasn't even middle-aged, for crying out loud! ...Barely, anyway. Sort of. And middle-aged wasn't even that old! Hell, it was only middle-age by this century's standards.
Blowing out a deep breath, Booster turned his gaze back to the desk. It was no use, his vision was blurring too badly to make out the words, much less translate them.
There was the pitter-patter of small feet on the stairs and Booster looked up. Junior paused abruptly, staring at him, then continued down the stairs when Booster raised an eyebrow at him.
The boy stopped in front of the desk, hands coming up to loosely grip the edge of it. Ted's spare goggles were hanging around his neck. "Um," he said.
Resting an elbow on the desk, Booster dropped his chin into his hand and waited expectantly. "Yes?"
"Um...what's Cecil B. DeMille?"
"He's a who," Booster said slowly, closing his eyes as he tried to remember. "Uh...I think he was a director. Worked in movies, anyway."
"Oh." Junior frowned in confusion, staring down at the desk as he rubbed a finger over a spot on its surface. "How many people did he kill?"
"What?" Booster asked, startled.
Junior took a deep breath and appeared to be concentrating as he asked, "How many men did Cecil B. DeMille kill?"
"I...none? I don't know." Sitting up, Booster ran a hand through his hair. "Where'd you hear that?"
"Mel Brooks's Blazing Saddles."
Booster stared at him for a moment before lacing his fingers together and leaning forward to rest his chin on them. "Why don't you tell me exactly what you heard."
"Okay. Um...the guy in jail said 'I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille.'"
"Huh," Booster muttered, trying to remember the scene. The movie was a favorite of Ted's and the man had eagerly taken it upon himself to introduce Booster to the greatness that was Mel Brooks films. "I...have no idea."
"Oh." Junior looked disappointed.
As the boy turned to leave, Booster sighed and stood. "Why don't I...watch it with you," he suggested. "Maybe I'll remember."
Then all of a sudden he was staring at Ted's bright grin set in a much younger face and...it didn't hurt as much. With a bounce in his step, Junior clamored up the stairs, occasionally pausing to make sure Booster was following.
As he came up beside the boy a sudden thought struck him. "Stealing is wrong, by the way," Booster said.
Junior stared up at him for a moment, then blinked and nodded. "Oh, okay."
"Good," Booster said. "I'm glad we had this talk."
-----
Various quotes taken from: Countdown to Infinite Crisis, OMAC Project #2, Formerly Known As The Justice League, I Can't Believe It's Not The Justice League, and Mel Brooks's Blazing Saddles.
The Cecil B. DeMille reference, for anyone who's like me and didn't have a clue, is explained by Wikipedia: Cecil B. DeMille's trademark of having scores of soldiers die during battle is also mentioned in the 1974 film Blazing Saddles when local alcoholic Jim, aka "The Waco Kid", describes his reputation as a gunslinger.
[ETA of chapter the fifth: ...two weeks, give or take. Goin' outta town. :D]
Mullet-verse handbook/guide. (AKA "Are you as lost as I am?")
PIMP: The fourth chapter to the crazy!Junior story, Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide, has been posted in my journal. New updates to it will be pimped with new updates to this fic. Enjoy.
Fandom: Justice League
Characters: Booster, Beetle, Junior (OMC), Wonder Woman, Superman
Prompt: "How."
Word Count: 2507
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes: The how of Booster going from shooting Batman to bringing Ted back from the dead. A prequel of sorts, going over the things the first Mullet-verse Prologue skipped over. Exploring the details and day-to-day of the progression of obsession and mourning, as well as the origins of Junior and Zombie Max.
CHAPTERS: { Prologue: Absolution }{ Chapter One: Benediction }{ Chapter Two: Consecration }{ Chapter Three: Delegation }{ Chapter Four: Education }{ Chapter Five: Flagellation }{ Epilogue: Glorification }
<-{ previous story: Mullet-verse handbook/guide } { next story: Hairy Situations and Situational Hair }->
Beta by alba_aulbath.
~4th Chapter: Education
Education includes all those experiences by which intelligence is developed, knowledge acquired, and character formed.
-----
"...Okay, Booster--go ahead."
"I told you, Beetle--" Booster protested, arm shaking a little as he tried and failed to use his blaster. "I can't."
"Sure you can. You've done this a million times before. Just press the little button and blast us outta here."
"It's no use! It's like someone's flipped over a switch in my brain and--"
"You have a brain--?"
"Hardy-har-har. You're so smart--you try."
"I can't do it either!" Beetle snapped, looking pained to admit it.
"Hmmmm. So...now what?" Booster asked, looking at Beetle thoughtfully.
"I dunno. Wanna see who can do the most push-ups?"
"Actually, I've got a better idea...." Booster said slowly.
"Oh? What's that?"
"This," Booster said with sudden determination, grabbing Beetle's shoulders and lowering his head to kiss the man firmly on the lips. He prepared to throw up his forcefield if Beetle decided to punch him for it, but he was hoping that with all the...cavalier-ness, Beetle wouldn't be so inclined to hurt him.
Beetle never threw a punch, or hurt him. Instead, he kissed back. Eagerly.
As Beetle's hands settled firmly on Booster's ass, pulling him in closer, Booster wrapped his arms around the man and moaned softly. Perfect. It was perfect. Why hadn't he done this years ago?
"Aren't you a married man?" Beetle asked breathlessly when their lips parted for a moment.
"Soon I'll be single again," Booster muttered in response, hands roaming over Beetle's back. He had him. Warm and willing and alive--
Alive?
"You're getting divorced--?" Beetle continued, tilting his head back as Booster nibbled at his jaw.
"Well, no. But--Wait, haven't we already had this conversation?"
"The merchandise will be silent!" Ted snapped, hooking a hand behind his head and bringing their lips together once more.
"That sounds familiar too," Booster groaned against Ted's mouth.
"Get a grip, Booster. You're acting like some jilted lover."
"Well, that's what it feels like! Wait--"
"You can stop looking."
"No," Booster whispered, holding Ted tighter as if he might vanish any minute. But he felt...he felt weak. Sore, tired, hurt, and Ted wasn't in his arms anymore. "I've lost too many people I love, too many friends! My sister...Ice...Sue...now Skeets...Like hell I'm gonna stay here and watch it happen to you too."
"Booster, you're in no condition to--" Ted started gently.
"No!" Booster shouted, grabbing his arm and holding on desperately. "Like hell I'm gonna stay here and watch it happen to you, too."
"Booster, whatever happens, it's not your fault."
"No! Ted, you selfish bastard, don't you dare!" Beyond his reach, he was...could barely see him, and dread churned in his stomach as tendrils of awareness of what was coming snaked through his mind. "Don't leave me again!"
"You can stop looking."
"Ted!"
"I never had a better friend--"
"NO!"
Sudden light as he opened his eyes made him gasp and wince, chest heaving as adrenaline coursed through him. Ted! Ted was...he had to--
There was a sound at his side and he jerked away as he turned to look. Surprised blue eyes stared at him from behind yellow goggles and strands of uncombed brown hair. Awareness suddenly came rushing back and a groan escaped him.
Scrubbing a hand over his face, Booster grimaced. His cheeks were a little damp; he wiped them off and then wiped his hand against the cot. "What?" he mumbled groggily, laying back down.
"You were makin' funny noises," Junior whispered. He appeared to be trying to hide, and only his head above his down-turned nose was visible.
Booster groaned and rolled onto his side facing away from the boy. There was no telling which part of the dream had prompted the "funny noises" Junior was talking about, and frankly he didn't want to ask.
"What did I do to deserve this?" he grumbled under his breath. Then Junior poked his shoulder and he winced. "Oh right. That." Sighing, he rolled back over and frowned at the boy. "Don't wake people up when they're making funny noises."
"Why?"
"...It's just...not a good idea," Booster fumbled for words. There was no way in hell he was having The Talk with him. No way.
"Oh. ...'Kay." Junior's eyes darted to the side and he tugged nervously at a loose thread on the cot. "Um...I didn't wake you 'cause of...funny noises."
That was...odd. Booster sat up and peered down at him curiously. This was the first time the genetic construct had interrupted him for anything. Not while he was sleeping, not while he was working. "Oh?"
Not meeting his eyes, Junior stared at the loose thread he was tugging on. That was probably a good thing. When Booster came home to find Junior merrily sorting through a tangle of wires while wearing the yellow goggles, it had been a surprising and painful reminder of Ted. Booster hadn't said anything, and Junior hadn't noticed, so the boy continued to wear them.
Booster just tried not to look at him when he did.
"Um, what's a...a caaas-caaade faaail-uuure?"
It took Booster a moment to realize what Junior was asking. "Cascade failure? Uh...it's something to do with physics or...electricity, I think. Bad thing. Why do you--Where'd you hear that word?"
Junior shrugged. "TV," he said quietly. "There's a lady in a... shiny swimsuit thing. Saving people. ...I don't like news shows, but they made crime scene investigation go away to show it." He looked up in confusion. "Does that mean it's important?"
Booster was on his feet and halfway up the stairs before he thought to answer. "Maybe."
"Oh," Junior said thoughtfully, following close behind.
---------------
It was, as Booster had suspected, Wonder Woman.
Booster crossed his arms over his chest and frowned at the TV. The word "MUTE" was in a corner of the screen, so he had only the caption to provide information. Apparently a nuclear power plant in Arizona had gotten dangerously close to wiping out the nearby population.
The caption was replaced with a side-scrolling list of other Justice Leaguers dealing with disasters. Booster's frown deepened.
"Booster," J'onn's mental voice suddenly echoed through his head. "Are you avai--"
"Fuck off," Booster thought firmly.
"What--"
"I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves!" It was childish, but after much experimenting Booster and Beetle had once upon a time found that singing that song very loudly in their heads was a good way to annoy J'onn. Singing it out loud worked, too, but it was funny to see J'onn get progressively more irritated when no one else knew what was going on.
Now, he just didn't want to talk to anyone with the League. Especially not after that dream.
"What's that?" Junior asked quietly.
That was when Booster realized he hadn't just been singing in his mind, he'd also started singing under his breath.
"It's...a song. Martians hate it."
Junior nodded. "Oh."
"Listen...why don't you watch a movie or something," Booster suggested, warily eyeing the bright figure of Wonder Woman still on the TV.
Junior stared up at him for a moment, and Booster thought maybe he was going to ask something, but finally the boy shrugged. "'Kay."
Not taking his eyes off the screen, Booster absently patted Junior's shoulder as the boy passed on the way out the door.
"What the hell is going on out there?" he murmured thoughtfully.
---------------
Whatever was going on, it was clear that it was dominating the attention of a large number of heroes.
Which left them unable to deal with simple petty thefts.
"Junior, I'm going out again," Booster told the boy as the opening credits to one of Ted's movies started on the screen.
"Oh," Junior replied, looking disappointed. He stared down at the floor and fiddled with the remote for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Um...whe-where ya goin'?"
"On a crime spree while the heroes are distracted," Booster said, kneeling beside the boy. "The book described some resurrection talismans and I already found where they're being held. I just needed an opportunity like this to get them." He grinned. "I might even be able to get them all before anyone notices."
Junior grinned back tentatively. "Cool."
Setting a hand on Junior's shoulder, Booster smiled reassuringly. "I'll get Ted back soon."
As Junior nodded in response, Booster stood and pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head. Flashing the boy another smile, Booster hurried off.
---------------
Knowing some of the idiots he had stopped while he was a hero, Booster hadn't expected mass theft to be too difficult, but it was still a little surprising how easy it was. Apparently the old "practice makes perfect" saying applied to crime, too.
The illustrations on the pages about the Thigh of Xipe Totec were fairly gruesome, but it was the closest of the items on his "shopping list." It was on display in a museum that apparently hoped to encourage patronage by describing its vastly bloody and brutal history in detail. Booster decided to leave it as a last resort.
He was out of the museum before a routine security check revealed the Thigh was missing.
---------------
Next was an unnamed piece of flax cloth with the faded image of a circle containing a pentagon and a golden apple. The book had gone on at length about someone named Eris, but Booster hadn't been sure if they were the weaver or who it was woven for.
Booster snatched it without reading the museum's paper plaque for it. If he had bothered to read it, he might had been more careful handling it, instead of just stuffing it in his bag along with the Thigh of Xipe Totec.
The plaque spoke of a goddess's chaotic sense of humor and what kind of "gifts" she bestowed.
---------------
Booster flew as fast as his flight ring would allow, only briefly touching down in museums and private collections. Items were taken carefully but quickly and then he was off in search of the next.
A necklace believed to belong to the goddess Isis, something that looked a little like a garbage disposal carved from rock, a sprig of mistletoe carved on a rune stone, an egg-shaped chunk of amber called Cybele's Stone, and more. All of these were placed in the bag slung across Booster's back.
As he was leaving the wealthy home of a private collector, Booster thought he caught sight of Superman and dove out of sight in a nearby forest. Luckily, the so-called "man of steel" appeared distracted and didn't notice him.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Booster leaned his head back against the trunk of a tree he was hovering by. That was probably as good a sign as any that it was time for him to head back.
Tree branches caught at his clothes and bag and Booster tugged free with some difficulty. In the process, his bag tipped over slightly and Cybele's Stone wobbled free, plunging toward the rocky ground below.
Booster bit out a curse and dove after it, just barely catching it with the tips of his fingers as it was about to hit a rock that would most likely shatter it. The Stone teetered on the edge for a moment before falling back into the palms of his hands.
Laying on the hard, cold, uncomfortable forest floor with a stolen rock clutched in his hands, Booster decided it was definitely time to go back.
---------------
Hours later, Booster was squinting at the increasingly harder to read text of The Big Book of Resurrection Rituals. The items he had stolen earlier were sitting on and around the desk and he was doing his best to translate the pages related to them.
The words were blurring in his vision and he was getting a headache.
Sighing, Booster buried his face in his hands and closed his eyes. He was tired, that had to be it. That was the only explanation he was willing to accept for the headache and why he was having so much trouble reading the smaller print. He flat out refused to accept the possibility that he might need reading glasses.
Just thinking about it made him feel old.
With a grimace, Booster leaned back in his chair and dropped his hands, staring up at the ceiling. ...What the hell had Ted been doing down here that had caused that odd burn mark? Huh, weird.
Booster definitely didn't need glasses. Not for reading, not for anything. He wasn't even middle-aged, for crying out loud! ...Barely, anyway. Sort of. And middle-aged wasn't even that old! Hell, it was only middle-age by this century's standards.
Blowing out a deep breath, Booster turned his gaze back to the desk. It was no use, his vision was blurring too badly to make out the words, much less translate them.
There was the pitter-patter of small feet on the stairs and Booster looked up. Junior paused abruptly, staring at him, then continued down the stairs when Booster raised an eyebrow at him.
The boy stopped in front of the desk, hands coming up to loosely grip the edge of it. Ted's spare goggles were hanging around his neck. "Um," he said.
Resting an elbow on the desk, Booster dropped his chin into his hand and waited expectantly. "Yes?"
"Um...what's Cecil B. DeMille?"
"He's a who," Booster said slowly, closing his eyes as he tried to remember. "Uh...I think he was a director. Worked in movies, anyway."
"Oh." Junior frowned in confusion, staring down at the desk as he rubbed a finger over a spot on its surface. "How many people did he kill?"
"What?" Booster asked, startled.
Junior took a deep breath and appeared to be concentrating as he asked, "How many men did Cecil B. DeMille kill?"
"I...none? I don't know." Sitting up, Booster ran a hand through his hair. "Where'd you hear that?"
"Mel Brooks's Blazing Saddles."
Booster stared at him for a moment before lacing his fingers together and leaning forward to rest his chin on them. "Why don't you tell me exactly what you heard."
"Okay. Um...the guy in jail said 'I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille.'"
"Huh," Booster muttered, trying to remember the scene. The movie was a favorite of Ted's and the man had eagerly taken it upon himself to introduce Booster to the greatness that was Mel Brooks films. "I...have no idea."
"Oh." Junior looked disappointed.
As the boy turned to leave, Booster sighed and stood. "Why don't I...watch it with you," he suggested. "Maybe I'll remember."
Then all of a sudden he was staring at Ted's bright grin set in a much younger face and...it didn't hurt as much. With a bounce in his step, Junior clamored up the stairs, occasionally pausing to make sure Booster was following.
As he came up beside the boy a sudden thought struck him. "Stealing is wrong, by the way," Booster said.
Junior stared up at him for a moment, then blinked and nodded. "Oh, okay."
"Good," Booster said. "I'm glad we had this talk."
-----
Various quotes taken from: Countdown to Infinite Crisis, OMAC Project #2, Formerly Known As The Justice League, I Can't Believe It's Not The Justice League, and Mel Brooks's Blazing Saddles.
The Cecil B. DeMille reference, for anyone who's like me and didn't have a clue, is explained by Wikipedia: Cecil B. DeMille's trademark of having scores of soldiers die during battle is also mentioned in the 1974 film Blazing Saddles when local alcoholic Jim, aka "The Waco Kid", describes his reputation as a gunslinger.
[ETA of chapter the fifth: ...two weeks, give or take. Goin' outta town. :D]
Mullet-verse handbook/guide. (AKA "Are you as lost as I am?")
PIMP: The fourth chapter to the crazy!Junior story, Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide, has been posted in my journal. New updates to it will be pimped with new updates to this fic. Enjoy.