Strangely, I crave cake.
Title: Sweet Surprise
Fandom: Justice League
Characters: Booster/Beetle
Prompt: "Food."
Word Count: 1021
Rating: R?
Author's Notes: Dedicated to timemonkey, who said "It's not like I was suggesting that some sort of mutant/alien/demonic living pie was going to tentacle rape them or something." Yes, I'm sleep-deprived enough to actually write crack based on that. The quality of the finished product, I can only speculate on. I should probably sleep.
No beta for crack-fic! Ha!
Sweet Surprise
"Shoot it!"
"But--"
"BOOSTER! I have cherry pie filling in places I don't want to think about! Shoot the goddamn alien pie!"
Hefting the strange alien gun with a sigh, Booster aimed at the source of the gooey, crusty tentacles that were doing unspeakable things to his naked best friend. Beetle made another of those interesting squeaking noises and Booster quickly shot the goddamn alien pie.
Unfortunately, the gun shot electricity, or something like it, and whatever the goddamn alien pie was made of, it was conductive. So Beetle was electrocuted too.
The good news, though, was that the goddamn alien pie didn't like being electrocuted and after briefly convulsing, retracted its tentacles from Beetle and resumed the appearance of a harmless cherry pie. With nothing but his own legs to hold him up now, Beetle slid to the floor with a groan and a twitch. A smell like burned baked goods clung to him.
"Beetle?"
"Nngh?"
Booster winced sheepishly, lowering the gun. "I tried to warn you."
"Whuh 'ppened t'yer blasters?" Beetle mumbled, trying to sort out his limbs.
"Uh...." Booster looked down at himself and considered how to respond. In that time, Beetle managed to flop onto his back, open his eyes, and focus on him.
"Booster?" Beetle said slowly and clearly. "Why are you naked?"
Booster shrugged and nodded his head in the direction of the door he had entered through. "Had some trouble with a meringue."
Thinking that over, Beetle nodded and lifted a hand expectantly. Booster obligingly reached down and pulled the man to his feet. Maybe it was adrenaline lending strength to his tug, maybe Beetle just hadn't regained the use of his legs yet, but whatever the reason, Booster ended up with his arms full of his best friend.
Since Beetle didn't seem up to it at the moment, Booster decided to feel awkward for him. Mutually naked hugging seemed to be the kind of thing Beetle would be awkward about.
And the sniffing. That was a awkward and weird.
"Beetle?"
Without opening his eyes, or removing his nose from Booster's collarbone, Beetle reached down and loosely curled his fingers around Booster's wrist. "Lemme see," he muttered.
It took him a second to realize what the man wanted, but then Booster held up the large alien electrocuting gun. Shifting to rest the side of his head against Booster's shoulder, Beetle tugged his arm closer to examine the gun.
"Wonder if...have to change the design...lower the charge."
"What?" Booster asked, trying to make sense of his mumblings. "Why would you want to lower the charge?"
Beetle tilted his head to look him in the eye, but only succeeded in looking him in the jaw. "Because shooting however-much electricity up my ass shorted out my nervous system," he said. "But...the tingly feeling before that wasn't half bad."
A feeling of disbelief sweeping over him, Booster blurted, "You want to market it as a...as a marital aid."
"Sure," Beetle agreed. "Married people could use it too. Hey! Hold it steady."
Booster obediently let Beetle tug his arm level with the man's face again. A few moments later Beetle paused in his examination of the gun and tilted his head up again. "I'm better now."
"Okay. ...Good."
"Yep," Beetle said slowly, sounding like he was trying to say something completely different. "Got the feeling back in...everything."
"Uh huh."
"Booster, I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and guess you like the idea of using a modified version of this thing as a, ah, 'marital aid'?"
"Why do--Oh."
"Yeah."
"Oh."
"I thought you'd noticed."
"I had other things on my mind."
"I noticed."
"You're leaning on me," Booster pointed out accusingly.
Beetle shifted, nose bumping Booster's collarbone again. "You have a point there."
"So you said."
"I meant--Nevermind." There was silence for a moment before Beetle said, "You smell like dessert."
"That's why you were sniffing me?"
"It's very distracting," Beetle defended himself. Then Booster felt something warm and wet against his chest.
"Are you...Are you licking me?"
Beetle made an irritated huffing sound. "I wanted to know if it tasted the same as it smelled!"
"Well does it?!" Booster demanded, even though that wasn't even close to what he meant to say.
"Yes!"
"Good!"
"Why are we yelling?!"
"I don't know!"
Beetle started to open his mouth to shout back, then closed it. After a moment's consideration, he lightly ran his hand up Booster's arm and settled it on the man's shoulder. Without another word, he began licking Booster's chest again.
Twitching in surprise, Booster lowered his arm, and the gun, and stared up at the ceiling for a second as he wondered what the hell was going on. Beetle had other ideas, apparently, because he slid his other hand around Booster's waist and settled it firmly on his butt. As close as the man was, Booster could tell that Beetle liked the idea of the electro-gun as a "marital aid" too. Or alien meringue was just really good.
"I'm starting to wonder if I'm wasting my time, Booster."
"What?"
Beetle sighed in exasperation, then dropped his arm from Booster's shoulder and reached down. A strangled sound escaped Booster's throat as the man's hand closed around him.
"Oh," he breathed.
"Uh huh," Beetle agreed.
"I uh, wasn't sure you were interested."
Beetle squeezed. With both hands.
Biting back a whimper, Booster clarified, "I wasn't sure it wasn't...brainwashing alien pie. Or it lowered your uh, inhibitions."
"Well you did just see it doing unspeakable things to me," Beetle pointed out, stroking slowly. "After that, what did I have to lose?"
"Uh."
"Just kiss me already, wouldja?"
So Booster did, dipping his head to capture the man's lips as Beetle tilted his head up. Beetle tasted like really good cherry pie.
Out of the corner of his eye, Booster saw the goddamn alien pie twitch, a small tentacle rising inquisitively into the air. Lifting the gun, Booster electrocuted it again, then set the gun on the table and wrapped both arms around Beetle.
They could figure out how to get out of there later.
Fandom: Justice League
Characters: Booster/Beetle
Prompt: "Food."
Word Count: 1021
Rating: R?
Author's Notes: Dedicated to timemonkey, who said "It's not like I was suggesting that some sort of mutant/alien/demonic living pie was going to tentacle rape them or something." Yes, I'm sleep-deprived enough to actually write crack based on that. The quality of the finished product, I can only speculate on. I should probably sleep.
No beta for crack-fic! Ha!
Sweet Surprise
"Shoot it!"
"But--"
"BOOSTER! I have cherry pie filling in places I don't want to think about! Shoot the goddamn alien pie!"
Hefting the strange alien gun with a sigh, Booster aimed at the source of the gooey, crusty tentacles that were doing unspeakable things to his naked best friend. Beetle made another of those interesting squeaking noises and Booster quickly shot the goddamn alien pie.
Unfortunately, the gun shot electricity, or something like it, and whatever the goddamn alien pie was made of, it was conductive. So Beetle was electrocuted too.
The good news, though, was that the goddamn alien pie didn't like being electrocuted and after briefly convulsing, retracted its tentacles from Beetle and resumed the appearance of a harmless cherry pie. With nothing but his own legs to hold him up now, Beetle slid to the floor with a groan and a twitch. A smell like burned baked goods clung to him.
"Beetle?"
"Nngh?"
Booster winced sheepishly, lowering the gun. "I tried to warn you."
"Whuh 'ppened t'yer blasters?" Beetle mumbled, trying to sort out his limbs.
"Uh...." Booster looked down at himself and considered how to respond. In that time, Beetle managed to flop onto his back, open his eyes, and focus on him.
"Booster?" Beetle said slowly and clearly. "Why are you naked?"
Booster shrugged and nodded his head in the direction of the door he had entered through. "Had some trouble with a meringue."
Thinking that over, Beetle nodded and lifted a hand expectantly. Booster obligingly reached down and pulled the man to his feet. Maybe it was adrenaline lending strength to his tug, maybe Beetle just hadn't regained the use of his legs yet, but whatever the reason, Booster ended up with his arms full of his best friend.
Since Beetle didn't seem up to it at the moment, Booster decided to feel awkward for him. Mutually naked hugging seemed to be the kind of thing Beetle would be awkward about.
And the sniffing. That was a awkward and weird.
"Beetle?"
Without opening his eyes, or removing his nose from Booster's collarbone, Beetle reached down and loosely curled his fingers around Booster's wrist. "Lemme see," he muttered.
It took him a second to realize what the man wanted, but then Booster held up the large alien electrocuting gun. Shifting to rest the side of his head against Booster's shoulder, Beetle tugged his arm closer to examine the gun.
"Wonder if...have to change the design...lower the charge."
"What?" Booster asked, trying to make sense of his mumblings. "Why would you want to lower the charge?"
Beetle tilted his head to look him in the eye, but only succeeded in looking him in the jaw. "Because shooting however-much electricity up my ass shorted out my nervous system," he said. "But...the tingly feeling before that wasn't half bad."
A feeling of disbelief sweeping over him, Booster blurted, "You want to market it as a...as a marital aid."
"Sure," Beetle agreed. "Married people could use it too. Hey! Hold it steady."
Booster obediently let Beetle tug his arm level with the man's face again. A few moments later Beetle paused in his examination of the gun and tilted his head up again. "I'm better now."
"Okay. ...Good."
"Yep," Beetle said slowly, sounding like he was trying to say something completely different. "Got the feeling back in...everything."
"Uh huh."
"Booster, I'm going to take a shot in the dark here and guess you like the idea of using a modified version of this thing as a, ah, 'marital aid'?"
"Why do--Oh."
"Yeah."
"Oh."
"I thought you'd noticed."
"I had other things on my mind."
"I noticed."
"You're leaning on me," Booster pointed out accusingly.
Beetle shifted, nose bumping Booster's collarbone again. "You have a point there."
"So you said."
"I meant--Nevermind." There was silence for a moment before Beetle said, "You smell like dessert."
"That's why you were sniffing me?"
"It's very distracting," Beetle defended himself. Then Booster felt something warm and wet against his chest.
"Are you...Are you licking me?"
Beetle made an irritated huffing sound. "I wanted to know if it tasted the same as it smelled!"
"Well does it?!" Booster demanded, even though that wasn't even close to what he meant to say.
"Yes!"
"Good!"
"Why are we yelling?!"
"I don't know!"
Beetle started to open his mouth to shout back, then closed it. After a moment's consideration, he lightly ran his hand up Booster's arm and settled it on the man's shoulder. Without another word, he began licking Booster's chest again.
Twitching in surprise, Booster lowered his arm, and the gun, and stared up at the ceiling for a second as he wondered what the hell was going on. Beetle had other ideas, apparently, because he slid his other hand around Booster's waist and settled it firmly on his butt. As close as the man was, Booster could tell that Beetle liked the idea of the electro-gun as a "marital aid" too. Or alien meringue was just really good.
"I'm starting to wonder if I'm wasting my time, Booster."
"What?"
Beetle sighed in exasperation, then dropped his arm from Booster's shoulder and reached down. A strangled sound escaped Booster's throat as the man's hand closed around him.
"Oh," he breathed.
"Uh huh," Beetle agreed.
"I uh, wasn't sure you were interested."
Beetle squeezed. With both hands.
Biting back a whimper, Booster clarified, "I wasn't sure it wasn't...brainwashing alien pie. Or it lowered your uh, inhibitions."
"Well you did just see it doing unspeakable things to me," Beetle pointed out, stroking slowly. "After that, what did I have to lose?"
"Uh."
"Just kiss me already, wouldja?"
So Booster did, dipping his head to capture the man's lips as Beetle tilted his head up. Beetle tasted like really good cherry pie.
Out of the corner of his eye, Booster saw the goddamn alien pie twitch, a small tentacle rising inquisitively into the air. Lifting the gun, Booster electrocuted it again, then set the gun on the table and wrapped both arms around Beetle.
They could figure out how to get out of there later.