A creepy, slightly abusive love.
Title: Staying Alive
Fandom: Justice League
Characters: Booster/Beetle
Prompt: "Media Crossover."
Word Count: 3932
Rating: R/NC-17?
Author's Notes: Credit where it's due, I started writing this because of this Stargate: Atlantis fic. I already had the idea, but I was inspired by this line: '"experienced" at Stargate Command meant, "survived longer than eight months"'
This is a crossover/AU thing based on SuperBuddies (mostly, sort of) and set in the Stargate: Atlantis universe. As such...I'm claiming it for my wtf27 "Media Crossover" prompt. (I'm assuming it counts. Should be close enough, anyway. That list ain't gettin' written any faster if I'm picky.) So anyway, enjoy! ^_^
Beta and suggestions by amarin_rose.
Staying Alive
"And that new kid--What's his name?" Ted was complaining. "Jaime something. Reyes. Of course he's got the gene. The Scarab just loves him."
"Ted, it fused to the kid's spine," Mike pointed out.
"Okay, so it's a creepy, slightly abusive love."
The Scarab was a piece of Ancient technology that had first been discovered by Dr. Dan Garrett. After his mysterious death, the project had been passed on to Dr. Ted Kord, who Garrett had recruited personally. To Ted's dismay, he had been unable to make any further progress. When the ATA gene was finally discovered and could be tested for, the reason became clear: Dan had had the gene, Ted didn't.
To make matters worse, in a bizarre turn of events involving an exploding spaceship, Goa'uld possession of a trusted ally, and poor Cadet Reyes being in the wrong place at the wrong time, the Scarab had taken up residence in Jaime's body. Jaime, as it turned out, had the gene.
Ted was still sore about it. And when the gene therapy refused to take in him, it had been like adding insult to injury.
"You wanted it fused to your spine?" Mike asked, rolling his eyes.
Ted opened his mouth to answer, then closed it and thought it over.
"Reyes said it talks to him."
Huffing irritably at having his rant cut short by logic, Ted stamped a few feet ahead, ignoring Mike. Mike just snickered.
Captain Adam grimaced and ignored them both. Separately, Ted and Mike were almost bearable, together they were like oil and water...with a lit match thrown on it.
And maybe a nuke.
At Stargate Command, the policy was pretty much that you could stick around as long as you didn't die. Or at least managed to get better afterwards. To the surprise of almost everyone who had met them, Ted and Michael were in fact amazingly good at just that. Excepting the two comas Ted had been in, that he still insisted weren't technically his fault. And the time Mike had a bizarre run-in with an alien device that left him clinically dead for a few days until they figured out how to reverse the process, though he hadn't actually noticed until the post-mission check-up.
The fact of the matter was, they had both recovered and gone about their work.
As for Captain Nathaniel Adam, he had only been presumed dead when an alien device blew up in his face and knocked him, literally, into next week. The only effect that seemed to have was to make him cranky, and give him an odd tendency to glow in the dark sometimes.
Other things that made him cranky included babysitting the lively duo, any weird alien device besides the Stargate that sent him somewhere, and listening to Ted complain about the damned Scarab. And it looked like even Mike's excellent, and somewhat surprising, use of logic hadn't derailed him this time.
"D'you know how many years I worked on that thing?"
"Yes, Ted, because you already told me," Mike said in a long-suffering voice, though the smile on his face was indulgent. "A lot."
For reasons Nate didn't understand (though he suspected, but wasn't about to ask), Mike was fond of the scientist. In fact, Mike spent most of his time with Ted, on missions and off. Ted happily returned the favor.
"Sure it went missing for a while," Ted continued in a tone that Nate recognized from when he was really getting into the swing of his rant. "But that wasn't my fault, and anyway Dr. Hall found it just fine, though what the hell it was doing back at that dig I don't know...."
Captain Adam decided enough was enough. "Booster!" he called, using Mike's old college football nickname. In a fit of nerves, the man had once let it slip while introducing himself and it had stuck. "You keep an eye on Kord, I'm gonna...check the perimeter."
"Uh, sure," Mike replied, glancing back at him. "I mean yes, sir."
Shaking his head, Nate walked off until he could no longer hear Ted's voice. Those two were made for each other. Ted was tech-geeky scientist-weird and Mike was just plain weird-weird.
---------------
After Captain Adam left, Mike glanced at Ted and said, "We have a perimeter?"
"You could at least pretend you understand military procedure," Ted sighed. "It's not like it's anything new." He paused, then added with sudden decisiveness, "We have a perimeter every mission."
"Where?" Mike asked in exasperation, waving an arm at their surroundings.
Ted's eyes followed the gesture, then travelled over the scenery on their own. "It's...over there," he said, pointing. "Where Captain Adam went."
Raising an eyebrow, Mike just stared at him. Ted hunched his shoulders defensively in response.
"Let's just...keep going," he mumbled, starting off through the tall grass again.
Laughing, Mike followed.
---------------
"Don't talk to me about Max," Ted snapped.
Max was another subject Ted was touchy about.
Maxwell Lord was one of the people who had helped to make the Atlantis Expedition an international project, and for someone who worked in politics was actually fairly likeable once you got to know him. Unfortunately, he had also attempted to kill Ted while possessed by a Goa'uld, the inadvertent result of which was Jaime Reyes becoming one with the Scarab.
"I wasn't--"
"Max is dead to me!" Ted shouted, turning to poke a finger at Mike's chest. "You hear me? Dead!"
"He almost was after that woman got ahold of him," Mike muttered.
"'That woman' has a name. And Diana didn't have much choice--"
"For crying out loud, she almost snapped his neck!"
"He tried to kill me!"
Mike threw his arms up. "He had a parasitic snake in his head!"
"And killed is killed!"
Shoving Ted up against a tree, much to the man's surprise, Mike leaned in and whispered, "Didn't happen."
Ted stared up at him in confusion, suddenly very aware of their height difference, and brought his hands up to settle on Mike's sides. "Y-Yeah, buddy," he said slowly, trying to sound reassuring. "I'm--"
"Alive," Mike breathed, stepping forward to wrap his arms around Ted and pull him into a hug.
"Yeah," Ted murmured, hugging back. "I'm alive."
---------------
Surprising, unsettling touchy-feely moments aside, they got on with their jobs. Today, on that planet, their jobs were Finding Useful Technology.
"Booster, you speak some Ancient, can you make this out?" Ted tapped the air in front of the stone wall with a pen.
Mike leaned over Ted's shoulder and looked over the writing on the wall. "Hm...I think...'For a...good...time, call--Ow!" He just laughed when Ted elbowed him in the gut. "Y'know, it wouldn't kill you to learn it yourself."
"I'm...busy," Ted grumbled. Through various unlucky circumstances, Ted had yet to learn the Ancient language, despite how often he worked with Ancient technology. It seemed that every time he tried, fate conspired to bring some calamity into his life to distract him.
When staring the wall down failed to intimidate it into revealing its meaning, Ted sighed. "Call Beatriz, maybe she can make sense of this. I'm gonna go poke around."
"Are you sure that's--Fine, whatever," Mike muttered as Ted disappeared around the corner of the structure. Turning on his radio, Mike said in a low, suggestive voice, "Bea, I need you."
Her exasperated sigh came through as she answered, "What do you want, Booster? We're busy."
Dr. Beatriz da Costa, the Brazilian portion of their international expedition, was the team's language expert and had stayed behind to look over some ruins closer to the Stargate while Ted, Mike, and Captain Adam went exploring. With her were Mary and Ralph.
Small and seemingly harmless, Mary was a marvel to behold when in action. When she had first requested to join Captain Adam's team, he had taken one look at her and wondered why she was even on Atlantis. She was young, watched Disney movies with sincere appreciation, and was painfully naive.
And when he told her that in order to join the team she would have to beat him in a sparring session, she promptly wiped the floor with him. She was even polite about it.
The final member of their team, Ralph Dibny, was tall, skinny, fancied himself a detective, and could wiggle his nose without scrunching his face up. It was a skill his teammates were quite familiar with, because he did so every time he "smelled" a mystery. Or whenever he thought something interesting was going on. Or sometimes just for the hell of it.
It was for that reason and more that his wife, Sue, had been unofficially canonized as a saint. Sue was also an honorary member of the team, despite the fact that her work with Atlantis's computers rarely, if ever, involved her joining them offworld.
"Ooh, I'm telling Sue you had an orgy with her husband."
"What's an orgy?" Mary asked.
"Well see--"
"You don't need to know that, sweetie," Bea quickly spoke over him. Despite the fact that Mary clearly drove Bea nuts, the woman had appointed herself guardian and big sister to her innocent teammate. When it involved warding off the advances of would-be suitors, that was a bonus.
Grinning, Mike could hear Mary in the background, asking Ralph if "having an orgy" was slang for "looking at ruins." From the sounds of it, a flustered Ralph was accidentally implying that it was in his attempts to not actually answer the question.
Mike looked forward to seeing if Mary would try to use the term in the future.
"Ted needs you to come look at some rubbings," Mike continued, a leer still in his voice.
"Tell Ted I don't want anything to do with whatever kinky games you two are playing."
"We're not--"
"We'll be there in ten minutes," Bea told him sweetly, covering Mike's reflexive protest that they weren't gay. "Thirty if Mary finds another alien space bunny."
"Oh, do you think there are any here?" Mary spoke up with hopeful wistfulness, clearly not bothered by the fact that the alien space bunny in question had turned out to be carnivorous. Very carnivorous.
And evil, Mike suspected.
"You can't have one," Bea sternly decreed.
Mike flicked off his radio on Mary's pouting, shuddering at the idea of one of those things loose in Atlantis. With their luck, it would turn out to be like Tribbles, or Gremlins. Soon there would be nothing left of the expedition for the Wraith to attack, just evil furry rabbits.
Actually, Mike thought, it might be interesting to see what would happen if the alien space bunnies were set on the Wraith. They could charge admission. Sell popcorn and commemorative t-shirts.
Mood considerably improved, Mike followed after Ted to tell his friend about his idea.
---------------
Once inside the structure, Ted started getting strange energy readings. He also discovered that it was considerably larger inside than it looked from the outside. The floor appeared to be on a downward slant, so part of it was probably below ground.
Or in another dimension. That happened all too often for Ted’s liking.
"Ted?" he heard Mike call from the entrance.
Not looking up from his careful, methodical search for the source of the energy readings, Ted yelled back. He wasn't really paying attention, and didn't know for sure what he had yelled, but apparently it was sufficient for Mike to find him.
"Find anything cool?" Mike asked as he entered the room, craning his neck to look around before actually crossing the threshold.
Ted grunted and shrugged. "Energy readings."
"The making-McKay-happy kind, or...?"
Ted sighed and shrugged again. "The frustrating-Ted-kind," he replied. "Here, you've got the gene. Come touch stuff."
There was a long pause, before Mike started snickering and Ted closed his eyes in a wince, trying to fight off his own snicker. "The wall," he clarified loudly. "Come touch the wall."
"And what?" Mike asked as he moved closer to Ted to do as asked, laying his hand flat on the smooth stone.
"I don't know," Ted huffed in exasperation, gesturing with one hand. "Think 'on'? Think 'gimmie a ZPM'? Just...something. You can think, right?"
Chuckling again, Mike laid his other hand on the wall and let his eyes droop closed. A tiny furrow of concentration formed between his eyebrows.
"Hey, I think you did something!" Ted said excitedly, eyes on the energy detector in his hands.
"Did what?"
"Well...I don't know," Ted admitted. "But there was a spike of power."
Mike blew a breath out and frowned. "Well I don't feel anything except a little hot," he complained. "Maybe I turned the heat on."
Glancing around, Ted shook his head. "Feels the same to me."
Pushing himself away from the wall, Mike wiped an arm over his forehead. "You sure?" he asked, a little breathless. "It feels warm."
"You do look kinda flushed, buddy," Ted muttered, moving closer to look him over. A thin sheen of sweat had broken out on his friend's face. It had him a little worried.
"Are you sure you don't feel anything?" Mike murmured, staring at him with an intensity that surprised Ted.
Ted urged his awareness out toward his skin, but couldn't detect any difference in anything in the room except Mike. Shaking his head, he looked up at his friend again and was worried more when he found Mike's pupils were dilated. "No, nothing. Hey, maybe we should get you out of here and--"
Voice stalling out as Mike raised a hand to curl around his cheek, Ted stared silently while Mike's thumb pressed gently against his cheekbone. The man seemed suddenly fascinated by Ted's half-open mouth.
"No, you do...." Mike whispered with dawning understanding in his voice, though Ted had no idea what that understanding was of. His other hand came up to Ted's other cheek, framing the man's face. "You feel...you care...."
Then his mouth descended on Ted's and Ted finally realized what Mike's actions had been reminding him of. Arousal. And now the man was kissing him and Ted's heterosexuality (as well as numerous former protests of anything but friendship between him and Mike) was freaking way the hell out because it wasn't bad.
It was, actually, very good. Hot, in fact. And if Ted reached out to slide his hands down Mike's sides as he leaned into and participated in the kiss, he really didn't think he could be blamed.
Mike took that as the encouragement it was and let go of Ted's face to wrap his arms around him, stepping closer until their bodies were pressed flush against each other. When their lips parted, it wasn't so much a breaking of the kiss as it was a slow, gliding continuation of it along Ted's jaw and up to his ear.
"Know what it does," Mike breathed, voice tickling Ted's ear and making the man shiver. When Ted made a vaguely puzzled sound in the back of his throat, Mike continued, "The building. It's on. I can feel y--"
Not sure what Mike was babbling about, but certain that the man's mouth could be put to better use, Ted grabbed the back of Mike's head and pulled him in for another kiss. Then everything was heat and hands and too many clothes, then less clothes but somehow more heat and oh god just the right amount of pressure in just the right places and sweat joining and merging in a soup of sexual peripheral bubbling and boiling away from a central flame of passion and please please pleasepleaseplease!
After, laying on their hastily discarded clothes with Mike's steady breathing brushing across his skin, Ted stared up at the ceiling and wondered where the hell that had come from. Heartbeat slowing back to normal, he felt something clench in his chest as sudden realization washed over him.
The structure. Mike had told him, Ted was sure he remembered it, that the building was on. And implied that it was also influencing him.
Ted closed his eyes and, not for the first time, mentally cursed the Ancients and their damn genes.
It wasn't fair that he got to have this and it turned out to be some stupid "aliens made us do it" scenario. And it wasn't fair to Mike, being forced into it just because of a stupid genetic anomaly. The whole thing was stupid and unfair.
That was, of course, when the rest of the team arrived.
---------------
"And you believe this structure to be a...a what?" Elizabeth asked in disbelief.
Voice flat and expression sullen, Ted replied, "Couples counseling."
His arms were crossed over his chest and the faint blush staining his cheeks had been firmly in place since he emerged from the Stargate. Corporal Carter was a little flushed, too, but whereas Dr. Kord's face showed irritation, the blond's was dazed and somewhat pleased.
Coupled with the expressions of their teammates, which ranged from smug amusement to shell-shocked embarrassment, Elizabeth thought she had a fair idea of what had happened. She was half dreading and half looking forward to their mission reports. Looking forward if only to see how they would explain their theory on the structure's purpose without mentioning their "proof."
"What about the power source you detected?" Elizabeth rallied hopefully.
"It's sh--crap," Bea answered, amending it with a quick glance in Mary's direction.
"Was it depleted, or--?"
"No, it was literally crap," Ralph interrupted, leaning forward. "It's powered by the droppings of a species of bird native to the planet."
Elizabeth stared at the man for a moment, then asked, "Is there any way we could harness this...power source to use in Atlantis?" She couldn't bring herself to say "bird droppings."
"Yeah, but it wouldn't be worth the trouble," Ted sighed, loosening up a little as his thoughts turned more to science. "The structure is built specifically to convert the bird crap into a viable power source. And even then the output isn't much. What we were reading was the accumulated energy of a ten thousand year old dung heap. What's more, it's stored in a way that's incompatible with Atlantis's systems. So...I would recommend never going back. And just forgetting the whole thing."
Mike looked a little hurt at that, but it was Mary who spoke up. "Oh, but Dr. Kord, what about the birds?" There was a collective groan from the rest of the team, Ted going so far as to lean over the table with his head in his hands, but Mary soldiered on. "They were sooo cute. Couldn't we go back and get one? Um, to study?"
Ted opened his mouth to, from the look on his face, explain why that was idiotic in the extreme, when Mike unexpectedly said, "They had fur."
All eyes turned to him and Mike continued. "That would interest the biologists, wouldn't it? Birds with fur?"
Michael Carter was not, by any stretch of the imagination, known for his scientific insights. In fact, he was known more for being the most likely culprit (aside from Dr. Ted Kord) if there was a rubber chicken involved. So it was with a not inconsiderable amount of surprise that Elizabeth found herself saying, "Yes, I believe so," before she could think better of it.
Mike shot Ted a smug, mean smirk and the man glowered back. Elizabeth suppressed the urge to groan.
She couldn't understand why Maxwell Lord had recommended these people. She had thought Max liked her. But now here she was with a team of troublemakers, all because Max had claimed to have worked with them in the past and swore up and down that they were some of the finest people to grace the halls of the SGC. If these were the finest, Elizabeth didn't want to know who had been left behind.
Ted and Michael bickered like a pair of children when they weren't thick as thieves plotting some sort of juvenile and often-annoying prank. Mary, while certainly competent, was a pollyanna who seemed to view each mission as a trip to some strange and wonderful alien pet store (and think that every alien creature with fur wanted to be her pet). Beatriz, when not modifying her uniform to show more skin than strictly allowed by the expedition's dress code, took it upon herself to act as big sister to Mary, alternately finding her annoying as hell and then swooping in like an avenging angel to protect the girl from anyone who might corrupt her. Captain Adam had a temper, didn't seem to know any better than Elizabeth why he had been cursed with such a team, and had requested a transfer no less than three times. Ralph, she suspected, was the most tolerable of the bunch either because of the influence of his long-suffering wife or because the others were just worse. Maybe both.
"I would recommend against going back," Ted said through gritted teeth.
"Birds," Mike insisted, grinning at the man's obvious irritation. "With fur. I recommend looking into it."
"You don't give a rat's a--"
"Gentlemen!" Elizabeth interjected firmly. Once they really got started, it could be hard to stop them. "I'll expect both your recommendations with your mission reports." Was she mistaken, or had Mike just stuck his tongue out at Ted? What were they, in preschool? Next he would be taunting "Teacher likes me best!"
The thought struck her that if Ted had had pigtails, Mike would have been pulling them constantly.
"Now if that's all?" Elizabeth prompted, hoping against hope that it was.
The team grumbled in the affirmative and Mary gave her usual perky "Yes ma'am, Dr. Weir!"
"Dismissed."
They shuffled out and Mike snagged Ted's arm, tugging him aside with an intent expression on his face. Catching a snatch of the conversation, Elizabeth hoped that they would work things out between them.
"You won't convince me those birds--"
"I don't care about the damn birds, Ted, I care about you."
"...Oh."
"Yeah."
Captain Adam shot her an imploring look and Elizabeth knew she could expect another transfer request from the man. Maybe this time she would grant it. Though that left the matter of who to assign to head the team. She briefly considered their old leader, Jones, but just as quickly dismissed the idea. Though the solemn man seemed to have an inexplicable fondness for them, there was also no chance he would agree. While the green had eventually faded, Dr. Beckett had also assured her that Jones would more than likely remain bald for the rest of his life.
There was always Gardner, of course. The man was chomping at the bit for a team, and maybe it would get him to leave that Athosian woman alone. Teyla had mentioned that Tora was uncomfortable with the attention.
"Dr. Weir?" came a voice over the comm that she recognized as belonging to Dr. Freeman.
Dr. Freeman was manning the Gateroom computer systems, unless she was mistaken.
"Yes, Scott?"
"Colonel Sheppard's team just called."
Elizabeth frowned. "Check-in isn't for another hour."
"Yeah, they're not checking in, they're coming home," Scott said, with a hint of dry humor in his voice. "Dr. McKay says he can explain."
Hands pressed down side-by-side on the conference table, Elizabeth slowly lowered her forehead to them. She considered, just for a moment, telling Scott to convey her request that they wait and check back in an hour.
Then she lifted her head, sighed, and said, "Let them in."
Unable to stop herself, she added, "And Dr. McKay better be able to explain."
-----
Fandom: Justice League
Characters: Booster/Beetle
Prompt: "Media Crossover."
Word Count: 3932
Rating: R/NC-17?
Author's Notes: Credit where it's due, I started writing this because of this Stargate: Atlantis fic. I already had the idea, but I was inspired by this line: '"experienced" at Stargate Command meant, "survived longer than eight months"'
This is a crossover/AU thing based on SuperBuddies (mostly, sort of) and set in the Stargate: Atlantis universe. As such...I'm claiming it for my wtf27 "Media Crossover" prompt. (I'm assuming it counts. Should be close enough, anyway. That list ain't gettin' written any faster if I'm picky.) So anyway, enjoy! ^_^
Beta and suggestions by amarin_rose.
Staying Alive
"And that new kid--What's his name?" Ted was complaining. "Jaime something. Reyes. Of course he's got the gene. The Scarab just loves him."
"Ted, it fused to the kid's spine," Mike pointed out.
"Okay, so it's a creepy, slightly abusive love."
The Scarab was a piece of Ancient technology that had first been discovered by Dr. Dan Garrett. After his mysterious death, the project had been passed on to Dr. Ted Kord, who Garrett had recruited personally. To Ted's dismay, he had been unable to make any further progress. When the ATA gene was finally discovered and could be tested for, the reason became clear: Dan had had the gene, Ted didn't.
To make matters worse, in a bizarre turn of events involving an exploding spaceship, Goa'uld possession of a trusted ally, and poor Cadet Reyes being in the wrong place at the wrong time, the Scarab had taken up residence in Jaime's body. Jaime, as it turned out, had the gene.
Ted was still sore about it. And when the gene therapy refused to take in him, it had been like adding insult to injury.
"You wanted it fused to your spine?" Mike asked, rolling his eyes.
Ted opened his mouth to answer, then closed it and thought it over.
"Reyes said it talks to him."
Huffing irritably at having his rant cut short by logic, Ted stamped a few feet ahead, ignoring Mike. Mike just snickered.
Captain Adam grimaced and ignored them both. Separately, Ted and Mike were almost bearable, together they were like oil and water...with a lit match thrown on it.
And maybe a nuke.
At Stargate Command, the policy was pretty much that you could stick around as long as you didn't die. Or at least managed to get better afterwards. To the surprise of almost everyone who had met them, Ted and Michael were in fact amazingly good at just that. Excepting the two comas Ted had been in, that he still insisted weren't technically his fault. And the time Mike had a bizarre run-in with an alien device that left him clinically dead for a few days until they figured out how to reverse the process, though he hadn't actually noticed until the post-mission check-up.
The fact of the matter was, they had both recovered and gone about their work.
As for Captain Nathaniel Adam, he had only been presumed dead when an alien device blew up in his face and knocked him, literally, into next week. The only effect that seemed to have was to make him cranky, and give him an odd tendency to glow in the dark sometimes.
Other things that made him cranky included babysitting the lively duo, any weird alien device besides the Stargate that sent him somewhere, and listening to Ted complain about the damned Scarab. And it looked like even Mike's excellent, and somewhat surprising, use of logic hadn't derailed him this time.
"D'you know how many years I worked on that thing?"
"Yes, Ted, because you already told me," Mike said in a long-suffering voice, though the smile on his face was indulgent. "A lot."
For reasons Nate didn't understand (though he suspected, but wasn't about to ask), Mike was fond of the scientist. In fact, Mike spent most of his time with Ted, on missions and off. Ted happily returned the favor.
"Sure it went missing for a while," Ted continued in a tone that Nate recognized from when he was really getting into the swing of his rant. "But that wasn't my fault, and anyway Dr. Hall found it just fine, though what the hell it was doing back at that dig I don't know...."
Captain Adam decided enough was enough. "Booster!" he called, using Mike's old college football nickname. In a fit of nerves, the man had once let it slip while introducing himself and it had stuck. "You keep an eye on Kord, I'm gonna...check the perimeter."
"Uh, sure," Mike replied, glancing back at him. "I mean yes, sir."
Shaking his head, Nate walked off until he could no longer hear Ted's voice. Those two were made for each other. Ted was tech-geeky scientist-weird and Mike was just plain weird-weird.
---------------
After Captain Adam left, Mike glanced at Ted and said, "We have a perimeter?"
"You could at least pretend you understand military procedure," Ted sighed. "It's not like it's anything new." He paused, then added with sudden decisiveness, "We have a perimeter every mission."
"Where?" Mike asked in exasperation, waving an arm at their surroundings.
Ted's eyes followed the gesture, then travelled over the scenery on their own. "It's...over there," he said, pointing. "Where Captain Adam went."
Raising an eyebrow, Mike just stared at him. Ted hunched his shoulders defensively in response.
"Let's just...keep going," he mumbled, starting off through the tall grass again.
Laughing, Mike followed.
---------------
"Don't talk to me about Max," Ted snapped.
Max was another subject Ted was touchy about.
Maxwell Lord was one of the people who had helped to make the Atlantis Expedition an international project, and for someone who worked in politics was actually fairly likeable once you got to know him. Unfortunately, he had also attempted to kill Ted while possessed by a Goa'uld, the inadvertent result of which was Jaime Reyes becoming one with the Scarab.
"I wasn't--"
"Max is dead to me!" Ted shouted, turning to poke a finger at Mike's chest. "You hear me? Dead!"
"He almost was after that woman got ahold of him," Mike muttered.
"'That woman' has a name. And Diana didn't have much choice--"
"For crying out loud, she almost snapped his neck!"
"He tried to kill me!"
Mike threw his arms up. "He had a parasitic snake in his head!"
"And killed is killed!"
Shoving Ted up against a tree, much to the man's surprise, Mike leaned in and whispered, "Didn't happen."
Ted stared up at him in confusion, suddenly very aware of their height difference, and brought his hands up to settle on Mike's sides. "Y-Yeah, buddy," he said slowly, trying to sound reassuring. "I'm--"
"Alive," Mike breathed, stepping forward to wrap his arms around Ted and pull him into a hug.
"Yeah," Ted murmured, hugging back. "I'm alive."
---------------
Surprising, unsettling touchy-feely moments aside, they got on with their jobs. Today, on that planet, their jobs were Finding Useful Technology.
"Booster, you speak some Ancient, can you make this out?" Ted tapped the air in front of the stone wall with a pen.
Mike leaned over Ted's shoulder and looked over the writing on the wall. "Hm...I think...'For a...good...time, call--Ow!" He just laughed when Ted elbowed him in the gut. "Y'know, it wouldn't kill you to learn it yourself."
"I'm...busy," Ted grumbled. Through various unlucky circumstances, Ted had yet to learn the Ancient language, despite how often he worked with Ancient technology. It seemed that every time he tried, fate conspired to bring some calamity into his life to distract him.
When staring the wall down failed to intimidate it into revealing its meaning, Ted sighed. "Call Beatriz, maybe she can make sense of this. I'm gonna go poke around."
"Are you sure that's--Fine, whatever," Mike muttered as Ted disappeared around the corner of the structure. Turning on his radio, Mike said in a low, suggestive voice, "Bea, I need you."
Her exasperated sigh came through as she answered, "What do you want, Booster? We're busy."
Dr. Beatriz da Costa, the Brazilian portion of their international expedition, was the team's language expert and had stayed behind to look over some ruins closer to the Stargate while Ted, Mike, and Captain Adam went exploring. With her were Mary and Ralph.
Small and seemingly harmless, Mary was a marvel to behold when in action. When she had first requested to join Captain Adam's team, he had taken one look at her and wondered why she was even on Atlantis. She was young, watched Disney movies with sincere appreciation, and was painfully naive.
And when he told her that in order to join the team she would have to beat him in a sparring session, she promptly wiped the floor with him. She was even polite about it.
The final member of their team, Ralph Dibny, was tall, skinny, fancied himself a detective, and could wiggle his nose without scrunching his face up. It was a skill his teammates were quite familiar with, because he did so every time he "smelled" a mystery. Or whenever he thought something interesting was going on. Or sometimes just for the hell of it.
It was for that reason and more that his wife, Sue, had been unofficially canonized as a saint. Sue was also an honorary member of the team, despite the fact that her work with Atlantis's computers rarely, if ever, involved her joining them offworld.
"Ooh, I'm telling Sue you had an orgy with her husband."
"What's an orgy?" Mary asked.
"Well see--"
"You don't need to know that, sweetie," Bea quickly spoke over him. Despite the fact that Mary clearly drove Bea nuts, the woman had appointed herself guardian and big sister to her innocent teammate. When it involved warding off the advances of would-be suitors, that was a bonus.
Grinning, Mike could hear Mary in the background, asking Ralph if "having an orgy" was slang for "looking at ruins." From the sounds of it, a flustered Ralph was accidentally implying that it was in his attempts to not actually answer the question.
Mike looked forward to seeing if Mary would try to use the term in the future.
"Ted needs you to come look at some rubbings," Mike continued, a leer still in his voice.
"Tell Ted I don't want anything to do with whatever kinky games you two are playing."
"We're not--"
"We'll be there in ten minutes," Bea told him sweetly, covering Mike's reflexive protest that they weren't gay. "Thirty if Mary finds another alien space bunny."
"Oh, do you think there are any here?" Mary spoke up with hopeful wistfulness, clearly not bothered by the fact that the alien space bunny in question had turned out to be carnivorous. Very carnivorous.
And evil, Mike suspected.
"You can't have one," Bea sternly decreed.
Mike flicked off his radio on Mary's pouting, shuddering at the idea of one of those things loose in Atlantis. With their luck, it would turn out to be like Tribbles, or Gremlins. Soon there would be nothing left of the expedition for the Wraith to attack, just evil furry rabbits.
Actually, Mike thought, it might be interesting to see what would happen if the alien space bunnies were set on the Wraith. They could charge admission. Sell popcorn and commemorative t-shirts.
Mood considerably improved, Mike followed after Ted to tell his friend about his idea.
---------------
Once inside the structure, Ted started getting strange energy readings. He also discovered that it was considerably larger inside than it looked from the outside. The floor appeared to be on a downward slant, so part of it was probably below ground.
Or in another dimension. That happened all too often for Ted’s liking.
"Ted?" he heard Mike call from the entrance.
Not looking up from his careful, methodical search for the source of the energy readings, Ted yelled back. He wasn't really paying attention, and didn't know for sure what he had yelled, but apparently it was sufficient for Mike to find him.
"Find anything cool?" Mike asked as he entered the room, craning his neck to look around before actually crossing the threshold.
Ted grunted and shrugged. "Energy readings."
"The making-McKay-happy kind, or...?"
Ted sighed and shrugged again. "The frustrating-Ted-kind," he replied. "Here, you've got the gene. Come touch stuff."
There was a long pause, before Mike started snickering and Ted closed his eyes in a wince, trying to fight off his own snicker. "The wall," he clarified loudly. "Come touch the wall."
"And what?" Mike asked as he moved closer to Ted to do as asked, laying his hand flat on the smooth stone.
"I don't know," Ted huffed in exasperation, gesturing with one hand. "Think 'on'? Think 'gimmie a ZPM'? Just...something. You can think, right?"
Chuckling again, Mike laid his other hand on the wall and let his eyes droop closed. A tiny furrow of concentration formed between his eyebrows.
"Hey, I think you did something!" Ted said excitedly, eyes on the energy detector in his hands.
"Did what?"
"Well...I don't know," Ted admitted. "But there was a spike of power."
Mike blew a breath out and frowned. "Well I don't feel anything except a little hot," he complained. "Maybe I turned the heat on."
Glancing around, Ted shook his head. "Feels the same to me."
Pushing himself away from the wall, Mike wiped an arm over his forehead. "You sure?" he asked, a little breathless. "It feels warm."
"You do look kinda flushed, buddy," Ted muttered, moving closer to look him over. A thin sheen of sweat had broken out on his friend's face. It had him a little worried.
"Are you sure you don't feel anything?" Mike murmured, staring at him with an intensity that surprised Ted.
Ted urged his awareness out toward his skin, but couldn't detect any difference in anything in the room except Mike. Shaking his head, he looked up at his friend again and was worried more when he found Mike's pupils were dilated. "No, nothing. Hey, maybe we should get you out of here and--"
Voice stalling out as Mike raised a hand to curl around his cheek, Ted stared silently while Mike's thumb pressed gently against his cheekbone. The man seemed suddenly fascinated by Ted's half-open mouth.
"No, you do...." Mike whispered with dawning understanding in his voice, though Ted had no idea what that understanding was of. His other hand came up to Ted's other cheek, framing the man's face. "You feel...you care...."
Then his mouth descended on Ted's and Ted finally realized what Mike's actions had been reminding him of. Arousal. And now the man was kissing him and Ted's heterosexuality (as well as numerous former protests of anything but friendship between him and Mike) was freaking way the hell out because it wasn't bad.
It was, actually, very good. Hot, in fact. And if Ted reached out to slide his hands down Mike's sides as he leaned into and participated in the kiss, he really didn't think he could be blamed.
Mike took that as the encouragement it was and let go of Ted's face to wrap his arms around him, stepping closer until their bodies were pressed flush against each other. When their lips parted, it wasn't so much a breaking of the kiss as it was a slow, gliding continuation of it along Ted's jaw and up to his ear.
"Know what it does," Mike breathed, voice tickling Ted's ear and making the man shiver. When Ted made a vaguely puzzled sound in the back of his throat, Mike continued, "The building. It's on. I can feel y--"
Not sure what Mike was babbling about, but certain that the man's mouth could be put to better use, Ted grabbed the back of Mike's head and pulled him in for another kiss. Then everything was heat and hands and too many clothes, then less clothes but somehow more heat and oh god just the right amount of pressure in just the right places and sweat joining and merging in a soup of sexual peripheral bubbling and boiling away from a central flame of passion and please please pleasepleaseplease!
After, laying on their hastily discarded clothes with Mike's steady breathing brushing across his skin, Ted stared up at the ceiling and wondered where the hell that had come from. Heartbeat slowing back to normal, he felt something clench in his chest as sudden realization washed over him.
The structure. Mike had told him, Ted was sure he remembered it, that the building was on. And implied that it was also influencing him.
Ted closed his eyes and, not for the first time, mentally cursed the Ancients and their damn genes.
It wasn't fair that he got to have this and it turned out to be some stupid "aliens made us do it" scenario. And it wasn't fair to Mike, being forced into it just because of a stupid genetic anomaly. The whole thing was stupid and unfair.
That was, of course, when the rest of the team arrived.
---------------
"And you believe this structure to be a...a what?" Elizabeth asked in disbelief.
Voice flat and expression sullen, Ted replied, "Couples counseling."
His arms were crossed over his chest and the faint blush staining his cheeks had been firmly in place since he emerged from the Stargate. Corporal Carter was a little flushed, too, but whereas Dr. Kord's face showed irritation, the blond's was dazed and somewhat pleased.
Coupled with the expressions of their teammates, which ranged from smug amusement to shell-shocked embarrassment, Elizabeth thought she had a fair idea of what had happened. She was half dreading and half looking forward to their mission reports. Looking forward if only to see how they would explain their theory on the structure's purpose without mentioning their "proof."
"What about the power source you detected?" Elizabeth rallied hopefully.
"It's sh--crap," Bea answered, amending it with a quick glance in Mary's direction.
"Was it depleted, or--?"
"No, it was literally crap," Ralph interrupted, leaning forward. "It's powered by the droppings of a species of bird native to the planet."
Elizabeth stared at the man for a moment, then asked, "Is there any way we could harness this...power source to use in Atlantis?" She couldn't bring herself to say "bird droppings."
"Yeah, but it wouldn't be worth the trouble," Ted sighed, loosening up a little as his thoughts turned more to science. "The structure is built specifically to convert the bird crap into a viable power source. And even then the output isn't much. What we were reading was the accumulated energy of a ten thousand year old dung heap. What's more, it's stored in a way that's incompatible with Atlantis's systems. So...I would recommend never going back. And just forgetting the whole thing."
Mike looked a little hurt at that, but it was Mary who spoke up. "Oh, but Dr. Kord, what about the birds?" There was a collective groan from the rest of the team, Ted going so far as to lean over the table with his head in his hands, but Mary soldiered on. "They were sooo cute. Couldn't we go back and get one? Um, to study?"
Ted opened his mouth to, from the look on his face, explain why that was idiotic in the extreme, when Mike unexpectedly said, "They had fur."
All eyes turned to him and Mike continued. "That would interest the biologists, wouldn't it? Birds with fur?"
Michael Carter was not, by any stretch of the imagination, known for his scientific insights. In fact, he was known more for being the most likely culprit (aside from Dr. Ted Kord) if there was a rubber chicken involved. So it was with a not inconsiderable amount of surprise that Elizabeth found herself saying, "Yes, I believe so," before she could think better of it.
Mike shot Ted a smug, mean smirk and the man glowered back. Elizabeth suppressed the urge to groan.
She couldn't understand why Maxwell Lord had recommended these people. She had thought Max liked her. But now here she was with a team of troublemakers, all because Max had claimed to have worked with them in the past and swore up and down that they were some of the finest people to grace the halls of the SGC. If these were the finest, Elizabeth didn't want to know who had been left behind.
Ted and Michael bickered like a pair of children when they weren't thick as thieves plotting some sort of juvenile and often-annoying prank. Mary, while certainly competent, was a pollyanna who seemed to view each mission as a trip to some strange and wonderful alien pet store (and think that every alien creature with fur wanted to be her pet). Beatriz, when not modifying her uniform to show more skin than strictly allowed by the expedition's dress code, took it upon herself to act as big sister to Mary, alternately finding her annoying as hell and then swooping in like an avenging angel to protect the girl from anyone who might corrupt her. Captain Adam had a temper, didn't seem to know any better than Elizabeth why he had been cursed with such a team, and had requested a transfer no less than three times. Ralph, she suspected, was the most tolerable of the bunch either because of the influence of his long-suffering wife or because the others were just worse. Maybe both.
"I would recommend against going back," Ted said through gritted teeth.
"Birds," Mike insisted, grinning at the man's obvious irritation. "With fur. I recommend looking into it."
"You don't give a rat's a--"
"Gentlemen!" Elizabeth interjected firmly. Once they really got started, it could be hard to stop them. "I'll expect both your recommendations with your mission reports." Was she mistaken, or had Mike just stuck his tongue out at Ted? What were they, in preschool? Next he would be taunting "Teacher likes me best!"
The thought struck her that if Ted had had pigtails, Mike would have been pulling them constantly.
"Now if that's all?" Elizabeth prompted, hoping against hope that it was.
The team grumbled in the affirmative and Mary gave her usual perky "Yes ma'am, Dr. Weir!"
"Dismissed."
They shuffled out and Mike snagged Ted's arm, tugging him aside with an intent expression on his face. Catching a snatch of the conversation, Elizabeth hoped that they would work things out between them.
"You won't convince me those birds--"
"I don't care about the damn birds, Ted, I care about you."
"...Oh."
"Yeah."
Captain Adam shot her an imploring look and Elizabeth knew she could expect another transfer request from the man. Maybe this time she would grant it. Though that left the matter of who to assign to head the team. She briefly considered their old leader, Jones, but just as quickly dismissed the idea. Though the solemn man seemed to have an inexplicable fondness for them, there was also no chance he would agree. While the green had eventually faded, Dr. Beckett had also assured her that Jones would more than likely remain bald for the rest of his life.
There was always Gardner, of course. The man was chomping at the bit for a team, and maybe it would get him to leave that Athosian woman alone. Teyla had mentioned that Tora was uncomfortable with the attention.
"Dr. Weir?" came a voice over the comm that she recognized as belonging to Dr. Freeman.
Dr. Freeman was manning the Gateroom computer systems, unless she was mistaken.
"Yes, Scott?"
"Colonel Sheppard's team just called."
Elizabeth frowned. "Check-in isn't for another hour."
"Yeah, they're not checking in, they're coming home," Scott said, with a hint of dry humor in his voice. "Dr. McKay says he can explain."
Hands pressed down side-by-side on the conference table, Elizabeth slowly lowered her forehead to them. She considered, just for a moment, telling Scott to convey her request that they wait and check back in an hour.
Then she lifted her head, sighed, and said, "Let them in."
Unable to stop herself, she added, "And Dr. McKay better be able to explain."
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