Brigits_flame: Wine

[bootler]

"Uungh," My head hangs over the toilet as I fumble to reach the plunger. I manage to knock over the decorative tissue box sitting on the back of the toilet in the process, and cringe as it clatters onto the cold white tiles of my bathroom floor. "Shuddup," I mutter to the world in general, and try again for the flusher

Comments

the ring of truth

[wierdauntie]

Sweet exchange over a toilet bowl... love is holding someone's hair back while they puke.

[suppishld]

Reminds me of undergrad university. Minus the boyfriend of course.

[bootler]

Ah, memories :P

Editor 2

[amri]

Hi-

I'm one of your editors this week.

What a great story! I loved the sweet interpretation of this week's theme. You chose great simple-to-the-point descriptions. The dialog between the girlfriend and her man was realistic and reaches out to anyone who has been in this position.

Great sentence structure and vocabulary brings the playful conversation to life.

Great work and good luck this week!

Re: Editor 2

[bootler]

Thanks very much for such positive feedback! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

Edit

[aisling87]

Hello, a quick although tardy edit for you. I like this a lot. it's short and sweet and gets to the point. I like how we never actually see the revelry, but can understand what's happened through implication. Overall everything is very good -- if you are planning on revising/ adding to the piece, one thing to play with might be the relationship between the two characters. What special things might the boyfriend do in the beginning that make his caregiving different than that of a mother? Just something to think about.

Thanks for sharing!

Re: Edit

[bootler]

Thanks very much for the feedback!