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Sentimental Education
Flaubert believed that anticipation was both the purest and most reliable form of pleasure, and that while the things that actually happen to you would invariably disappoint, the things that never happened to you could never dim or fade.... that they would always be engraved in your heart with a sort of sweet sadness ( Read more... ) -
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I can tell you what's wrong with almost every one of my organs. They're achey and prone to infection and all too responsive when they don't agree with the things I consume or the environment I'm in, but I realized tonight that the only one that works perfectly.. does it's job carrying oxygen and essential materials throughout my body, beats the ( Read more... ) -
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Sonnet 33.
It's like rain on your wedding day. -
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Dear future boyfriend,
An intellectual conversation starter and a compliment will get you a long way. Being able to count the number of both of those things aimed in my direction from your predecessors combined on my fingers is not something I'm proud of; however, it leaves you with an easy in. I need you to realize that my severe ( Read more... ) -
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I'm having a difficult time figuring out why the last 6 months has felt like 6 weeks, yet every individual day has felt never ending. I find myself staring at the clock rather than working.. counting every minute, hour, day, week through white coffees and text+ notifications as if both are of an equal addiction that I need to begin weening myself ( Read more... ) -
la douleur exquise
The knots in my stomach become tighter every time I realize that only allowing myself true happiness when I know it won't work out in the end hasn't prevented me from continuous enjoyment. This is where pessimism and realism are often confused, but I can assure you it's the latter. Realistically understanding that the majority of good things don't ( Read more... ) -
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I finally joined stereotypical (desperate), "do everything on the Internet" America and realized that the line between confident and desperate is much thinner than I had originally thought. So thin, in fact, that even I cannot tell the difference within myself. I have read Emerson's, "Self-Reliance" three times in the last two weeks. I'd like to ( Read more... ) -
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Monday anxiety seems to come like clock work. Large coffee on an empty stomach is not the best cure; however, severe anxiety is more manageable when not accompanied by caffeine migraines (fact). While I believe it's the monotony of my life as the paper shuffler that brings a good portion of said anxiety, this weekend gave me hope that 'a change is ( Read more... ) -
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I have nonchalantly taken a seat at a brilliantly prepared dinner of emotions passed and found that my care cup is bone dry. While this is good for me in several respects, the fact that my lack of, well, ANY emotions has once again taken the reigns in absolutely every aspect of my life is terrifying.
I've fallen and seem to be just as content lying ( Read more... ) -
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I have knots in my shoulders from trying so hard to keep my head up (both figuratively and literally). Life has been hell-bent on emotionally extirpating my well-being and undoubtedly succeeding. I'm so painfully exhausted from trying to find the answers to questions that have none, but I'm completely terrified to find out what's left when you stop