(Untitled)

[ultim8cheezbrgr]

I would like to wake up knowing that my decisions are rational. I would like to feel in control, capable, and not simply lucky that my boyfriend is very patient

Comments

[queenpr3cious]

I feel excactly the same. How do you cope with your boyfriend? Mine is amazing. Now matter what I say or do or don't he dosen't leav me. He says that I'm the love of his life, his wife and mother to his childer already and he will not give me up now matter what i say, because i tend to breake up with him pretty regularly because I realize that I'm a hopeless case and will not recover (thats what i think) and that he diserves to have a chance with some one that will be sane and won't hurt him like i do. Some times when i look at him i feel no connection at all. It's like i dont know him. I do not care for him anymore and don't recognize him in a way. And thats wierd because I love him with all my heart, and still it happens. Have you experienced something similar or is it just me?

[power_of_pele]

I know exactly what both of you are talking about. My boyfriend is really amazing. He knew from the beginning what was going on with me so he joined online support groups and read about what to do (even bought an ebook on how to stay in a relationship with a BPD and make it work). He's very patient but also passive gentle and quiet which can get on my nerves since I need excitement, passion and emotional stimulation in order to survive the chaos.

Like queenpr3cious, I sometimes feel no connection at all like I don't know him. I've had this disassociation with other bfs and been with them for a looong time (8 years, another one 6 years) and would sometimes look at them and think "woah, that's my bf. who is this person? I feel nothing". But I know that I love them and the feeling comes back I just numb out sometimes.