Every night when I go to sleep, I hope I won't wake up the next morning. Every morning, I'm so disappointed to wake up. I tried to kill myself a couple years ago but for whatever reason I lived. I'm not sure why I gave up. I don't like myself and the idea of being me for sixty or so more years is horrifying. I tell my boyfriend that I'm all better and want to live, but that's a lie. I really don't. If somebody held a gun to my head, there'd be no fear: just relief.
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I am rude, to hide my nice side.
I am an asshole. It just makes my life easier.
I talk tough, I've been in fights. But I wish I could run faster.
Overall, I live as this created person - I feel if anyone knew what I was really like
I would be vunerable.
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