Dear Feferi, Sincerely Me
Ever since Jade had become Feferi Plexies’s science partner, she had started noticing the other girl in a way that she hadn’t before. She wasn’t just the creepy leader of student government like Jade had originally thought. She was also energetic and fun-loving, like John or Bec, who happened to be two of her favorite people. If someone had pointed out that Bec was not, in fact, a person, she would have told them that they were all animals on the inside, but, to date, no one had.
Jade had watched Feferi’s eyes widen in glee when she talked of changing the world. She dangled scalpel by her fingertips, casting a reflection of the sun’s light on the desk. She probably should have been working on their frog instead.
Jade had discovered that she really liked Feferi. She also really liked her boobs.
Dave had suggested she write a confession letter like in her animes, but she didn’t trust the postage, so instead she made Feferi a mix tape, comprised of classic hits like I Want To Swim In Your Ocean by Crystalheart Rainbowtaill and some of her own mixes.
She passed Feferi the mix tape one day in the science lab as Feferi balanced the textbook on her knee. The tape was innocuous looking, a feelings bomb waiting to explode, and Feferi flipped it over in her hands a few time.
“Thanks,” she said, and Jade could hear her breathe the H as she said it. Feferi had given her a dazzling smile, and Jade smiled compulsively back. Feferi was like a black hole, and Jade was nearing the event horizon.
After she had given away the tape, the hours seemed to stretch. Jade was just too excited for the moment Feferi would open her carefully prepared gift. She bounced through the rest of the day. Every time she saw Feferi, Jade would perk up, only to realize that that Feferi hadn’t listened to it yet. If this were a teen movie, there would have been a montage of them running into each other and Feferi sadly shaking her head.
She realized in her last class that Feferi might have a tape player in her car, but Rose dashed her hopes by mentioning that mix tapes were meant to be privately enjoyed no matter what John Cusack may have led her to believe. At this point, Dave and Rose leaned in conspiratorially, and she was only saved from teasing when an argument between John and Karkat broke out over which genre John Cusack belonged in.
They were still bickering when John’s dad picked them up from the parking lot, so Jade slid into the front seat uncontested. She didn’t want to get stuck between those idiots. She waved to Dave and Rose who grimaced back at her as their mom rolled up in a minivan. John flapped his arm in their general direction. Their grimaces intensified as their mom jumped the curve. Maybe bad driving was “ironic.” One day, she would tabulate the Lalonde-Strider Theory of Irony, but that day was not today. Today was the day she was going to wait by the phone.
She didn’t have to wait long. By the time John’s dad dropped her off at her house, an hour had passed, and the phone rang as she walked through the door. She shot up the stairs and grabbed it as it rang.
Jade let out a breathless “hello” into the crackling silence. The mix tape was playing softly in the background. Jade could barely make out the final strains of “if you were my mermaid, I would abandon land.”
“I- Jade, I can’t do this,” Feferi said softly.
Jade said, “Oh, okay. I’ll talk you later,” and quietly hung up the phone. She stood in the silence of her house for a few moments, looked around her house as if seeing it for the first time. She balled up her fists and decided that later would be right now. She borrowed her grandfather’s car, and an hour later, threw her fist against Feferi’s front door.
“Why did you hang up on me so suddenly?” Feferi asked when she opened the door. Her mascara was smudged around her eyes.
“I’m not going to let you go,” Jade blurted, “you and I, we have something.” Feferi gave her a rueful smile in response.
“I know that there has been some drama in the past, but I’m not gonna break your heart, you know,” Jade said. Jade stood in Feferi’s doorway, her heart on her sleeve, 52 cents in her pocket.
“Yeah,” Feferi said and pressed her hand into Jade’s cheek. Jade held her hand and pressed her lips against Feferi’s. They stood like that until Feferi’s mom turned the porch light on, and then, they went inside to do “science.”
Jade had watched Feferi’s eyes widen in glee when she talked of changing the world. She dangled scalpel by her fingertips, casting a reflection of the sun’s light on the desk. She probably should have been working on their frog instead.
Jade had discovered that she really liked Feferi. She also really liked her boobs.
Dave had suggested she write a confession letter like in her animes, but she didn’t trust the postage, so instead she made Feferi a mix tape, comprised of classic hits like I Want To Swim In Your Ocean by Crystalheart Rainbowtaill and some of her own mixes.
She passed Feferi the mix tape one day in the science lab as Feferi balanced the textbook on her knee. The tape was innocuous looking, a feelings bomb waiting to explode, and Feferi flipped it over in her hands a few time.
“Thanks,” she said, and Jade could hear her breathe the H as she said it. Feferi had given her a dazzling smile, and Jade smiled compulsively back. Feferi was like a black hole, and Jade was nearing the event horizon.
After she had given away the tape, the hours seemed to stretch. Jade was just too excited for the moment Feferi would open her carefully prepared gift. She bounced through the rest of the day. Every time she saw Feferi, Jade would perk up, only to realize that that Feferi hadn’t listened to it yet. If this were a teen movie, there would have been a montage of them running into each other and Feferi sadly shaking her head.
She realized in her last class that Feferi might have a tape player in her car, but Rose dashed her hopes by mentioning that mix tapes were meant to be privately enjoyed no matter what John Cusack may have led her to believe. At this point, Dave and Rose leaned in conspiratorially, and she was only saved from teasing when an argument between John and Karkat broke out over which genre John Cusack belonged in.
They were still bickering when John’s dad picked them up from the parking lot, so Jade slid into the front seat uncontested. She didn’t want to get stuck between those idiots. She waved to Dave and Rose who grimaced back at her as their mom rolled up in a minivan. John flapped his arm in their general direction. Their grimaces intensified as their mom jumped the curve. Maybe bad driving was “ironic.” One day, she would tabulate the Lalonde-Strider Theory of Irony, but that day was not today. Today was the day she was going to wait by the phone.
She didn’t have to wait long. By the time John’s dad dropped her off at her house, an hour had passed, and the phone rang as she walked through the door. She shot up the stairs and grabbed it as it rang.
Jade let out a breathless “hello” into the crackling silence. The mix tape was playing softly in the background. Jade could barely make out the final strains of “if you were my mermaid, I would abandon land.”
“I- Jade, I can’t do this,” Feferi said softly.
Jade said, “Oh, okay. I’ll talk you later,” and quietly hung up the phone. She stood in the silence of her house for a few moments, looked around her house as if seeing it for the first time. She balled up her fists and decided that later would be right now. She borrowed her grandfather’s car, and an hour later, threw her fist against Feferi’s front door.
“Why did you hang up on me so suddenly?” Feferi asked when she opened the door. Her mascara was smudged around her eyes.
“I’m not going to let you go,” Jade blurted, “you and I, we have something.” Feferi gave her a rueful smile in response.
“I know that there has been some drama in the past, but I’m not gonna break your heart, you know,” Jade said. Jade stood in Feferi’s doorway, her heart on her sleeve, 52 cents in her pocket.
“Yeah,” Feferi said and pressed her hand into Jade’s cheek. Jade held her hand and pressed her lips against Feferi’s. They stood like that until Feferi’s mom turned the porch light on, and then, they went inside to do “science.”