Once more with feeling!

[boris_thespider]

All right folks, its that time again.  What time you may ask?  Its time for me to try to bring back the Riddle of the Week!  Hopefully you will be spurned on to new creative feats of heroism, or some such.  I know its wishful thinking to believe that the lot of you will post, but I'm banking on a nice little competition between Gabriel and Jackson

Comments

that's easy

[cpt_righteous]

you use the didgeridoo to unthaw the gangsta rapper with its hot hot hot electric boogaloo and get him to start spittin some game, so the duck gets hypnotized by the sweet lyrics. thnen you sneak up by the duck and throw the book at his head, causing him to fall foward; finally you pull down your pants and...

[boreasisablaze]

I began my assault of the dire duck with quick action. I lay the gangsta rapper in a small puddle of filthy water to begin the thawing process, I also left Mongo the mentally challenged owl flapping o'er head. The owls flaps in combination with the lukewarm filth slowly thawed the rapper. As the rapper was thawing I began the process of evasion. I opened the Fool's Guide to Errand Running to chapter 34 "Bad News In Feudal Japan." I read up on the details of the art of post-delivery evasion as dictated by the greatest page ever to grace the island of Japan. Using methods gleaned from my readings and other venues, I leaped out onto a small spire of wood protruding from the mire, and executed a whirl in the air as I landed upon the stump with utter accuracy. I continued to perform this action as I raced through the bayou on small branches and stumps. Near three minutes later, upon finding myself away from the beast I turned back, knowing it would return to the origin of my troubles. With martial stalk I returned to the scene of the crime

this is good

[peterparka]

Upon gaining control of my body after the described cut-scene, and noting the male gender of the gargantuan dire duck, I flip out my beat-up silver Samsung cell phone, and, using its Sprint PCS service, return to my previous Google image search of "pussy," adding "duck." The search for "duck pussy" returns 1,023,968 thumbnail images of duck vaginas (properly referred to as duck vaginae) and related subject matter, including a few images of cowardly ducks in their flight to avoid a shotgun hunter. Selecting an especially hot duck centerfold with sleek, beautiful, and healthy feather coloration, I proffer the device, screen open, to my monstrous foe. The fluffy duckster at first attempts to consume me whole as he did the old man, but after a couple of dogged but dodged attempts, he catches sight of the scentless yet scintillating, sassy, sopping duck vagina. He pauses, and, as he becomes more interested in the juicy female duck and less in me, his already larger than life member grows to hulking proportions. "Wow," I think to myself

it's a little late to be commenting, I know, but

[vegetarianshoes]

What The FUck?!?!
NO!

Re: this is good

[boris_thespider]

Jeez man, that was disgusting. I mean, taboo is funny, but there's a limit.

I'll be judging later.

Re: this is good

[peterparka]

hahahahahahahaha

Re: this is good

[boreasisablaze]

That really is disgusting.

Re: this is good

[peterparka]

hahahahaha

[boris_thespider]

All right, I'm going to give it to Gabriel, because Jackson is a sick fuck. Next time to make it so vomit inducing, okay mate? Oh and no more pictures, its supposed to be fair and balanced, and Gabriel isn't going to post pictures, so you won't either.

Shit you're nasty.

[peterparka]

I disagree. I won. Mine, though admittedly disgusting, is much more interesting, original, and much more laughable. I assumed when I wrote it that points would be given for these qualities and not deducted for explicit content used in the production of the aforementioned commendable qualities. I have never observed a Boy not to enjoy the creative story of another Boy because of the taboo nature of the story. As most Boy stories do not reach this level of distaste, you will certainly try to disagree. I will therefore cite the Rudfucker action hero account as undeniable evidence of past acceptance of absurd distaste and ludicrously violent sexuality as part of the comedic process. Disprove this point if you will. Though Gabriel won if judging can be based on disgustingness, (so from your perspective I concede that the judging is just) I consider fair judging in this instance not to include denouncing a story for the sole provided reason of disgust. If you wish to provide other reasons, I will reconsider, but until then I think it

[peterparka]

I realize that my argument of having won without myself having the right to judge in the first place is aggravating and seems arrogant, as usual, but unless one finds reason to disprove my logical reasoning on the matter, the argument nonetheless stands and should be judged not on the arrogance of its existence but on the soundness or unsoundness of the arguments which it clearly defines and presents.

[peterparka]

Also, these solution stories are expected to make sense in some sort of abstract way, at least. I find fault in the fact that Gabriel used the "gangsta RAPPER" as something that seems much more like a 1920's gangsTER. As evidence, I cite the caucasian nature of the man, the adornment of a "suit-jacket" and the use of a tommy gun as part of the supposed gangsTA's character. These character details clash uproariously with the character's use of modern gangsta language, as in the line "What's good, son!" While the character would be rich and funny if it was either a '20s gangsTER or a modern gangsTA rapper (though it was defined as a gangsTA in the riddle), the fact that the character hangs in limbo, not truly either one, makes the character incomplete, and more of a liability than an asset, in economic terms