Gossip Girl RPF fic: Cabin Fever (Blake/Leighton, PG-13)
Title: Cabin Fever
Pairing: Blake/Leighton
Rating: PG-13
Words: 3363
Disclaimer: This never happened. Unfortunately.
Summary: When everyone else drops out of the trip Leighton planned, Blake and Leighton wind up in a cabin in Vermont alone.
Notes: Written for neners46 as part of the bleighton_squee Holiday Fic Exchange. Thanks to andthatisthat for the beta!
"This is going to be the lamest trip ever," Leighton said, hitting the steering wheel in frustration. "I can't believe you wanted to come along even when everyone else dropped out."
Blake glanced at Leighton's profile, smiling at the frown lines etched on Leighton's forehead. "Hey, it's their loss. We'll have fun. A cabin in Vermont, it sounds perfect."
"I'd just--I don't know." Leighton bit her lip. "It was supposed to be for everyone, not just us."
"Sorry that I'm so boring on my own." Blake meant it as a joke, but it sounded more petulant when it left her mouth. Maybe it would have been more fun if Ed and Chace and Jess and Penn had been able to make it too, but Blake felt bad that Leighton had organized this whole trip and she was determined to make the most of it. Besides, it was a few days before Christmas, and Blake wanted to see snow--real snow, miles of unbroken drifts, not the stuff that coats New York and takes seconds to turn into muddy slush underfoot.
Leighton turned on the radio and found a station playing Bob Dylan. Her irritation seemed to dissipate as she started humming along, then began to sing, her voice a quiet, tuneful murmur against the slightly-fuzzy radio and the purr of the car engine. Blake started to join in, even though she was unsure of the lyrics and even less familiar with the tune, making a joke out of ruining one of Leighton's favorite songs. From the driver's seat, Leighton threw Blake a glance, fond and exasperated all at once, and Blake grinned.
"Come on, you know we're going to have fun."
---
And they did have fun, for the first day at least, until Blake suffered an unfortunate sledding accident and decided that she was no longer friends with the great outdoors.
"But you said you wanted to go skiing," Leighton complained over the breakfast table on the second day. "You're not even hurt."
"I know, but I've had enough of falling over for the time being," Blake said, pouting until Leighton conceded. "We're in a beautiful cabin, Lei, we'll light a fire and pile under blankets, maybe go over the next couple of scripts."
"Fine, but I--"
"You don't want to be alone with me." Blake sighed. "I know it sucks that Ed went back to London and Jess had that family thing and everyone had excuses, but we're here. We might as well try and make the best of it."
"Of course." Leighton fidgeted in her seat. "It's not that I'm not glad you're here. I am."
Blake nodded, but she wasn't sure she believed her. For a while now--maybe weeks, maybe months, Blake wasn't sure how long it had been stretching on--Leighton had been acting weird around her; not quite cold, but definitely distant. It wasn't like they had to be BFFs, but Blake had to admit that Leighton's constant excuses to avoid her were starting to hurt. Blake had tried to get past the weirdness, to goof around and try to recapture the easy friendship they'd had at first, and sometimes Leighton would let her guard drop and have fun, but other times she would shut off and take a step back. It was almost like she was turning into Blair. When the last cast member had dropped out of the vacation and Blake had realized that she and Leighton would be alone, Blake had thought it would give them an opportunity to ride out the awkwardness, but maybe it had been a mistake to come at all.
---
A conciliatory mug of hot chocolate (with extra marshmallows) seemed to be the best form of peace offering; Blake placed it in front of Leighton, who was lying on the couch, propped up by a million cushions, and reading the next Gossip Girl script. Next to her, a log fire roared in the grate.
Glancing up from behind her glasses, Leighton took the hot chocolate with a grateful smile and a murmured, "Thanks." Blake flopped down on the floor, leaning her head back against the sofa, and picked up her own script and a handful of colored pens. She had a complex system for making notes on her scripts, usually employing at least four different colors; it was a code no one else had managed to crack, and she was oddly proud of it. She skimmed over the first couple of pages, past a scene with Chuck and Nate, then found her first scene and started reading, purple pen at the ready.
For a few minutes they sat in a relatively companionable silence, the only sound that of pages flipping and pens scratching, and then a chuckle from Leighton broke the still.
Turning her head, Blake said, "What is it?"
Leighton shook her head and grinned. "Nothing. It's just--page seventeen, are you there yet? I can't believe how badly Blair is in love with Serena."
Forcing a laugh, Blake said, "Oh, is it that how you've been playing it?" and hastily flipped forward to page seventeen. She wasn't sure exactly which line Leighton was referring to, but it seemed like pretty standard Serena and Blair interaction to her. She looked askance at Leighton, who had a strange, expectant expression on her face, and Blake broke into a grin, grabbed a pink pen, and drew hearts around Blair's name. Maybe she still didn't quite get it, but Leighton laughed enough to turn her cheeks pink, and if it meant they were friends again--well, that was all right with Blake.
They fell back into silence as they continued reading, Blake frantically trying to see the subtext that Leighton apparently saw so readily. She reached the end of the script, none the wiser but otherwise satisfied with Serena's character development and intrigued by the impending return of Georgina. The end of the season looked promising, but she was supposed to be on vacation and she couldn't get her head into work. Sighing, she leaned back until her head found a rest, which happened to be Leighton's hip. At the contact, Leighton looked up, her mouth twisting into an awkward half-smile.
"You must miss Penn," Leighton said. "I'm sorry he couldn't make the trip."
Blake shrugged. "It's not so bad."
"But you two make the perfect couple."
Blake raised her eyebrows, genuinely surprised. "Do you think so?"
"Don't you?" Leighton's brow crinkled over the rim of her glasses.
"I don't know," Blake said, and she found herself sighing. "Lately it's felt... less than perfect. Honestly, and I've never told anyone this before, but it feels like we're only together for the show. I mean, my publicist thinks this relationship is the best thing that ever happened to me, short of landing the role in the first place, but I'm not so sure."
"I'm sorry," Leighton said, and she reached out a hand and started stroking Blake's hair. "I thought things were going well between you two."
Blake smiled wistfully. "Yeah, so did I. But... I feel like I want something more, I'm just not sure what that something more is."
"You'll find it."
The line of conversation was starting to press too close to home; Blake sat up and propped and arm on the couch, turning to face Leighton. "How about you and Sebastian?"
Leighton pulled a face. "The less said about him, the better."
"Really?"
Leighton nodded.
She wasn't sure why, but Blake found herself smiling.
---
The idea to do some baking came out of nowhere; Blake wasn't even sure which of them had floated the idea first. But whoever's idea it was, it was an unmitigated disaster. The cookie dough ended up just about everywhere except the bowl they were aiming at, and someone--Blake was pretty sure it was Leighton--decided it would be fun to start tossing icing sugar around. They both ended up covered, and soon the unbaked cookies lay forgotten.
Leighton grabbed a fresh bag of icing sugar and started to aim in Blake's general direction, but before she could throw it Blake made a grab for it. They grappled for possession before Blake emerged victorious, pinning Leighton against the counter and holding the sugar high over her head. It took her a moment to realize how close she was to Leighton; they were both panting from exertion, and Blake could feel Leighton's breath hot on her face.
She cleared her throat even as she felt a blush creep over her face; it was too hot in this stupid cabin, and she was wearing a ridiculous amount of layers. Calling a truce, she placed the bag of icing sugar down on the counter and stepped away from Leighton, brushing herself down, and keeping her eyes averted all the time.
---
"We should decorate," Blake said later that evening, holding up a bag full of fairy lights and other Christmas decorations. They didn't have a tree, but there was no reason they couldn't make the place look festive.
Sitting in front of the fire with the dogs, Leighton said, "You go ahead. I'll take these for a walk, make sure they're not in your way and don't get tangled up in tinsel."
"Oh," Blake said, and even as she felt her face fall, she mustered up a smile. "Sure. Don't forget to wrap up warm." She shook her head, wondering when on earth she'd turned into her mother, and as she watched Leighton leave with Jack and Penny she felt like there was a small pit in the bottom of her stomach that she couldn't quite explain. It was probably just that she was a sociable person and had been hoping for some help, that was all. To try and shake it off, she busied herself with finding a Christmas mix on her iPod to cheer herself up a bit.
Once the first bars of All I Want For Christmas Is You were playing, she dug out the fairy lights and started to detangle them; they were intertwined with a length of silver tinsel and it was going to takes ages to free the bulbs.
---
By the time Leighton returned, Blake had transformed the cabin; there were multi-colored lights twinkling around the windows, the soft light reflected in the planes of a star hung over the fire and glinting on the garlands of tinsel adorning every wall. She watched expectantly as Leighton removed her coat and stomped the snow off her boots, biting her lip as she waited for a reaction. Eventually Leighton glanced up and as she took in the sight before her, her face broke into a grin.
"You like it?" Blake asked.
"It looks amazing," Leighton said, walking further into the room until she was almost face to face with Blake.
"Mistletoe," Blake said, pointing upwards and chuckling; it was just something stupid she'd got to make the place look Christmassy, and she hadn't anticipated that they'd end up beneath it. She leaned forward and placed a brief, chaste kiss on Leighton's cheek, then she pulled away, a small smile playing on her lips, but she didn't step back.
And then, Leighton grabbed her and kissed her full on the mouth.
For a few seconds, all Blake could process was the shock of contact, and then her senses flooded back to her, every sensation thrown into sharp relief. The soft press of Leighton's lips persisted, harder now, teasing Blake's mouth open, and all Blake could do was succumb to the roaring of blood in her ears and close her eyes to the brightness of sparks.
She wasn't even aware that they'd been moving backwards until she felt her back slam into the wall, the hard shock matched only by her surprise to find that she was kissing Leighton back, kissing with a fury she'd never felt before. Her hands found Leighton's back and pulled her closer toward her, kept pulling even when Leighton's body was pressed up flush against her, no space between them for either of them to breathe.
And then the world fell away, a rush of cold air replacing the heat of Leighton's body, and when Blake's eyes snapped open she saw Leighton backing away from her, eyes wide with something like fear, and Blake felt an icy dread cover her.
"God," Blake said, her breath harsh in her throat. "What the hell--"
"I'm sorry," Leighton said, and she kept backing away. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to--this wasn't supposed to--I'm so sorry." She turned and practically ran upstairs to her bedroom, leaving Blake with her back still against the wall and the ghost of Leighton on her lips, wondering what the hell had just happened.
---
It took Blake a long time to trust herself to move again. Leighton had disappeared off to her bedroom and shut the door, and Blake was at a loose end; the last thing she wanted was to be alone with her thoughts, but there was nothing to distract her in this godforsaken place. She found Penny and tried to play with her, but the dog was tired after her walk and besides, Blake's heart wasn't in it. Her mind kept replaying that look on Leighton's face when she pulled away from Blake, that look of shock and fear, and Blake's face burnt with shame every time she pictured it.
Because Leighton had obviously just been messing around. It had been a joke, clearly, and Blake had taken it too far and freaked Leighton out. She was always doing that, carrying on the joke long after it stopped being funny. No wonder Leighton was mad. Blake wasn't even sure why she had done it--wasn't sure why either of them had done it--and it honestly terrified her. She had to work with Leighton, had to see her practically every day, and she had no idea how to do that when there was this hanging over them.
Her instinct was to run, because if she could get away and not see Leighton for a few days, maybe they'd find that it never happened, or at least chalk it up to temporary madness. But they only had the one car, and Blake didn't think that Leighton would feel any better toward her if she left her stranded in a cabin in Vermont.
It was still only early, but Blake decided to go to bed; she thought that at the very least, things couldn't get any more hideous after a good night's sleep.
---
Blake woke early to weak sunlight slanting in through the windows where she'd forgotten to pull the curtains closed. She smiled to herself, feeling refreshed, but when she rolled over the weight of last night hit her. She screwed her face up, praying hard that scientists had perfected a time machine already and she could go back and fix it. If she had been hoping for any insight to come to her in her sleep, she was sorely disappointed, because she still couldn't fathom her actions. All she knew was that she had to somehow make it right, and to do so she'd need to face Leighton.
She pulled herself out of bed and padded through the cabin to Leighton's door, where she knocked softly. No reply came, and Blake figured that Leighton must still be asleep. For a second she was tempted to give it up and go back to bed, but she didn't want to have to screw up her courage again later. Gripping the handle, she gently pushed the door open.
"Lei?" she whispered, but the back of Leighton's sleeping form didn't show any signs of movement.
It wasn't the first time Blake had seen Leighton sleep; frequently during night shoots Leighton would grab catnaps in their trailer while the crew fussed around with the lighting. But this was different; it felt like a privilege that Blake hadn't earned, and she almost backed out the door and pretended she'd never intruded. She knew that's what she ought to do, but still she stayed, transfixed by the gentle rise and fall of Leighton's chest. Somewhere in the back of her mind things started quietly slotting into place, and she found herself moving forward and sitting down on the bed behind Leighton, placing a hand on her hip.
"Lei," she whispered again, and this time Leighton stirred. Blake watched, a slight smile on her face, as Leighton's eyes fluttered open, then Leighton shifted onto her back and looked up at Blake like she was struggling to focus.
"Hey," Blake said, "about last night..."
Leighton froze, eyes wide, and Blake felt her smile slip away.
"Forget about it," Leighton said, her voice terse, and she pulled herself up into a sitting position. "It was a mistake. Pretend it never happened."
She sat there stiffly, not meeting Blake's eyes, and Blake thought she probably ought to have felt reassured but instead she just felt empty.
"I--" she began, but Leighton cut her off.
"Seriously, forget about it. It was stupid."
"Right," Blake said, a weird feeling of unease washing over her. Confused, she shook her head and stood up, hesitating for a moment before she left the room and let the door close behind her with a click.
---
They spent the day resolutely avoiding each other, occasionally exchanging perfunctory pleasantries but mostly keeping to themselves. Blake made some more cookies, and without Leighton to distract her with icing sugar fights they turned out more or less like the picture in the recipe book. She put a plate of them on the coffee table and tried not to feel too hurt when Leighton didn't take one.
She thumbed through her script, but she wasn't in the mood to read about Serena and Blair being BFFs, and she was even less inclined to go over all the flirting between Serena and Dan. Leighton was still bothering her, creeping into all her thoughts, and even though Leighton had gone out ten minutes ago, Blake could still feel her presence all over the cabin.
Maybe she needed some air. It took her five minutes to locate her snow boots and her scarf, but once she was all wrapped up she headed out, hoping the wind would blow some sense into her.
Outside, it was getting to be twilight. She glanced down the lane, then back to the cabin, and she started in surprise when she saw that Leighton was on the porch, leaning against the railing and staring out at the view. If she heard Blake, she gave no sign of acknowledgement. For a moment Blake studied Leighton's profile, feeling her chest expand like an elastic band, and then she went to join her.
Leighton didn't look at Blake as she stood beside her, leaning on the railing with one elbow so she was turned to face Leighton. Blake said nothing, only looked at Leighton, at the pink of her cheeks and the sweep of her hair.
Eventually, Leighton spoke. "I'm sorry I kissed you last night."
Blake considered her for a moment, and when she spoke, her reply was simple. "I'm not." Because all she knew was that she wanted something more, and she thought Leighton did too. Maybe it was as simple as that, after all.
Finally, Leighton turned to face Blake, her brow furrowed. "You're not?"
"No." Blake shrugged. "That's what I've been trying to tell you."
Expressions flitted over Leighton's face until she settled on a smile. "Oh," she said, and her smile spread into a grin. "Well." And she leaned toward Blake until their lips connected, one point of warmth against the chill. Blake moved a hand up to cup Leighton's jaw as she moved against her, marveling at the push and pull. She lost track of time, lost herself to Leighton, and when they finally untangled, the moon was out.
"We should probably go inside," Leighton said.
Blake murmured in agreement, but she couldn't help herself, and she pulled Leighton into another kiss. They stayed out, kissing under the light of a crescent moon, until the snow began to fall.
Pairing: Blake/Leighton
Rating: PG-13
Words: 3363
Disclaimer: This never happened. Unfortunately.
Summary: When everyone else drops out of the trip Leighton planned, Blake and Leighton wind up in a cabin in Vermont alone.
Notes: Written for neners46 as part of the bleighton_squee Holiday Fic Exchange. Thanks to andthatisthat for the beta!
"This is going to be the lamest trip ever," Leighton said, hitting the steering wheel in frustration. "I can't believe you wanted to come along even when everyone else dropped out."
Blake glanced at Leighton's profile, smiling at the frown lines etched on Leighton's forehead. "Hey, it's their loss. We'll have fun. A cabin in Vermont, it sounds perfect."
"I'd just--I don't know." Leighton bit her lip. "It was supposed to be for everyone, not just us."
"Sorry that I'm so boring on my own." Blake meant it as a joke, but it sounded more petulant when it left her mouth. Maybe it would have been more fun if Ed and Chace and Jess and Penn had been able to make it too, but Blake felt bad that Leighton had organized this whole trip and she was determined to make the most of it. Besides, it was a few days before Christmas, and Blake wanted to see snow--real snow, miles of unbroken drifts, not the stuff that coats New York and takes seconds to turn into muddy slush underfoot.
Leighton turned on the radio and found a station playing Bob Dylan. Her irritation seemed to dissipate as she started humming along, then began to sing, her voice a quiet, tuneful murmur against the slightly-fuzzy radio and the purr of the car engine. Blake started to join in, even though she was unsure of the lyrics and even less familiar with the tune, making a joke out of ruining one of Leighton's favorite songs. From the driver's seat, Leighton threw Blake a glance, fond and exasperated all at once, and Blake grinned.
"Come on, you know we're going to have fun."
---
And they did have fun, for the first day at least, until Blake suffered an unfortunate sledding accident and decided that she was no longer friends with the great outdoors.
"But you said you wanted to go skiing," Leighton complained over the breakfast table on the second day. "You're not even hurt."
"I know, but I've had enough of falling over for the time being," Blake said, pouting until Leighton conceded. "We're in a beautiful cabin, Lei, we'll light a fire and pile under blankets, maybe go over the next couple of scripts."
"Fine, but I--"
"You don't want to be alone with me." Blake sighed. "I know it sucks that Ed went back to London and Jess had that family thing and everyone had excuses, but we're here. We might as well try and make the best of it."
"Of course." Leighton fidgeted in her seat. "It's not that I'm not glad you're here. I am."
Blake nodded, but she wasn't sure she believed her. For a while now--maybe weeks, maybe months, Blake wasn't sure how long it had been stretching on--Leighton had been acting weird around her; not quite cold, but definitely distant. It wasn't like they had to be BFFs, but Blake had to admit that Leighton's constant excuses to avoid her were starting to hurt. Blake had tried to get past the weirdness, to goof around and try to recapture the easy friendship they'd had at first, and sometimes Leighton would let her guard drop and have fun, but other times she would shut off and take a step back. It was almost like she was turning into Blair. When the last cast member had dropped out of the vacation and Blake had realized that she and Leighton would be alone, Blake had thought it would give them an opportunity to ride out the awkwardness, but maybe it had been a mistake to come at all.
---
A conciliatory mug of hot chocolate (with extra marshmallows) seemed to be the best form of peace offering; Blake placed it in front of Leighton, who was lying on the couch, propped up by a million cushions, and reading the next Gossip Girl script. Next to her, a log fire roared in the grate.
Glancing up from behind her glasses, Leighton took the hot chocolate with a grateful smile and a murmured, "Thanks." Blake flopped down on the floor, leaning her head back against the sofa, and picked up her own script and a handful of colored pens. She had a complex system for making notes on her scripts, usually employing at least four different colors; it was a code no one else had managed to crack, and she was oddly proud of it. She skimmed over the first couple of pages, past a scene with Chuck and Nate, then found her first scene and started reading, purple pen at the ready.
For a few minutes they sat in a relatively companionable silence, the only sound that of pages flipping and pens scratching, and then a chuckle from Leighton broke the still.
Turning her head, Blake said, "What is it?"
Leighton shook her head and grinned. "Nothing. It's just--page seventeen, are you there yet? I can't believe how badly Blair is in love with Serena."
Forcing a laugh, Blake said, "Oh, is it that how you've been playing it?" and hastily flipped forward to page seventeen. She wasn't sure exactly which line Leighton was referring to, but it seemed like pretty standard Serena and Blair interaction to her. She looked askance at Leighton, who had a strange, expectant expression on her face, and Blake broke into a grin, grabbed a pink pen, and drew hearts around Blair's name. Maybe she still didn't quite get it, but Leighton laughed enough to turn her cheeks pink, and if it meant they were friends again--well, that was all right with Blake.
They fell back into silence as they continued reading, Blake frantically trying to see the subtext that Leighton apparently saw so readily. She reached the end of the script, none the wiser but otherwise satisfied with Serena's character development and intrigued by the impending return of Georgina. The end of the season looked promising, but she was supposed to be on vacation and she couldn't get her head into work. Sighing, she leaned back until her head found a rest, which happened to be Leighton's hip. At the contact, Leighton looked up, her mouth twisting into an awkward half-smile.
"You must miss Penn," Leighton said. "I'm sorry he couldn't make the trip."
Blake shrugged. "It's not so bad."
"But you two make the perfect couple."
Blake raised her eyebrows, genuinely surprised. "Do you think so?"
"Don't you?" Leighton's brow crinkled over the rim of her glasses.
"I don't know," Blake said, and she found herself sighing. "Lately it's felt... less than perfect. Honestly, and I've never told anyone this before, but it feels like we're only together for the show. I mean, my publicist thinks this relationship is the best thing that ever happened to me, short of landing the role in the first place, but I'm not so sure."
"I'm sorry," Leighton said, and she reached out a hand and started stroking Blake's hair. "I thought things were going well between you two."
Blake smiled wistfully. "Yeah, so did I. But... I feel like I want something more, I'm just not sure what that something more is."
"You'll find it."
The line of conversation was starting to press too close to home; Blake sat up and propped and arm on the couch, turning to face Leighton. "How about you and Sebastian?"
Leighton pulled a face. "The less said about him, the better."
"Really?"
Leighton nodded.
She wasn't sure why, but Blake found herself smiling.
---
The idea to do some baking came out of nowhere; Blake wasn't even sure which of them had floated the idea first. But whoever's idea it was, it was an unmitigated disaster. The cookie dough ended up just about everywhere except the bowl they were aiming at, and someone--Blake was pretty sure it was Leighton--decided it would be fun to start tossing icing sugar around. They both ended up covered, and soon the unbaked cookies lay forgotten.
Leighton grabbed a fresh bag of icing sugar and started to aim in Blake's general direction, but before she could throw it Blake made a grab for it. They grappled for possession before Blake emerged victorious, pinning Leighton against the counter and holding the sugar high over her head. It took her a moment to realize how close she was to Leighton; they were both panting from exertion, and Blake could feel Leighton's breath hot on her face.
She cleared her throat even as she felt a blush creep over her face; it was too hot in this stupid cabin, and she was wearing a ridiculous amount of layers. Calling a truce, she placed the bag of icing sugar down on the counter and stepped away from Leighton, brushing herself down, and keeping her eyes averted all the time.
---
"We should decorate," Blake said later that evening, holding up a bag full of fairy lights and other Christmas decorations. They didn't have a tree, but there was no reason they couldn't make the place look festive.
Sitting in front of the fire with the dogs, Leighton said, "You go ahead. I'll take these for a walk, make sure they're not in your way and don't get tangled up in tinsel."
"Oh," Blake said, and even as she felt her face fall, she mustered up a smile. "Sure. Don't forget to wrap up warm." She shook her head, wondering when on earth she'd turned into her mother, and as she watched Leighton leave with Jack and Penny she felt like there was a small pit in the bottom of her stomach that she couldn't quite explain. It was probably just that she was a sociable person and had been hoping for some help, that was all. To try and shake it off, she busied herself with finding a Christmas mix on her iPod to cheer herself up a bit.
Once the first bars of All I Want For Christmas Is You were playing, she dug out the fairy lights and started to detangle them; they were intertwined with a length of silver tinsel and it was going to takes ages to free the bulbs.
---
By the time Leighton returned, Blake had transformed the cabin; there were multi-colored lights twinkling around the windows, the soft light reflected in the planes of a star hung over the fire and glinting on the garlands of tinsel adorning every wall. She watched expectantly as Leighton removed her coat and stomped the snow off her boots, biting her lip as she waited for a reaction. Eventually Leighton glanced up and as she took in the sight before her, her face broke into a grin.
"You like it?" Blake asked.
"It looks amazing," Leighton said, walking further into the room until she was almost face to face with Blake.
"Mistletoe," Blake said, pointing upwards and chuckling; it was just something stupid she'd got to make the place look Christmassy, and she hadn't anticipated that they'd end up beneath it. She leaned forward and placed a brief, chaste kiss on Leighton's cheek, then she pulled away, a small smile playing on her lips, but she didn't step back.
And then, Leighton grabbed her and kissed her full on the mouth.
For a few seconds, all Blake could process was the shock of contact, and then her senses flooded back to her, every sensation thrown into sharp relief. The soft press of Leighton's lips persisted, harder now, teasing Blake's mouth open, and all Blake could do was succumb to the roaring of blood in her ears and close her eyes to the brightness of sparks.
She wasn't even aware that they'd been moving backwards until she felt her back slam into the wall, the hard shock matched only by her surprise to find that she was kissing Leighton back, kissing with a fury she'd never felt before. Her hands found Leighton's back and pulled her closer toward her, kept pulling even when Leighton's body was pressed up flush against her, no space between them for either of them to breathe.
And then the world fell away, a rush of cold air replacing the heat of Leighton's body, and when Blake's eyes snapped open she saw Leighton backing away from her, eyes wide with something like fear, and Blake felt an icy dread cover her.
"God," Blake said, her breath harsh in her throat. "What the hell--"
"I'm sorry," Leighton said, and she kept backing away. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to--this wasn't supposed to--I'm so sorry." She turned and practically ran upstairs to her bedroom, leaving Blake with her back still against the wall and the ghost of Leighton on her lips, wondering what the hell had just happened.
---
It took Blake a long time to trust herself to move again. Leighton had disappeared off to her bedroom and shut the door, and Blake was at a loose end; the last thing she wanted was to be alone with her thoughts, but there was nothing to distract her in this godforsaken place. She found Penny and tried to play with her, but the dog was tired after her walk and besides, Blake's heart wasn't in it. Her mind kept replaying that look on Leighton's face when she pulled away from Blake, that look of shock and fear, and Blake's face burnt with shame every time she pictured it.
Because Leighton had obviously just been messing around. It had been a joke, clearly, and Blake had taken it too far and freaked Leighton out. She was always doing that, carrying on the joke long after it stopped being funny. No wonder Leighton was mad. Blake wasn't even sure why she had done it--wasn't sure why either of them had done it--and it honestly terrified her. She had to work with Leighton, had to see her practically every day, and she had no idea how to do that when there was this hanging over them.
Her instinct was to run, because if she could get away and not see Leighton for a few days, maybe they'd find that it never happened, or at least chalk it up to temporary madness. But they only had the one car, and Blake didn't think that Leighton would feel any better toward her if she left her stranded in a cabin in Vermont.
It was still only early, but Blake decided to go to bed; she thought that at the very least, things couldn't get any more hideous after a good night's sleep.
---
Blake woke early to weak sunlight slanting in through the windows where she'd forgotten to pull the curtains closed. She smiled to herself, feeling refreshed, but when she rolled over the weight of last night hit her. She screwed her face up, praying hard that scientists had perfected a time machine already and she could go back and fix it. If she had been hoping for any insight to come to her in her sleep, she was sorely disappointed, because she still couldn't fathom her actions. All she knew was that she had to somehow make it right, and to do so she'd need to face Leighton.
She pulled herself out of bed and padded through the cabin to Leighton's door, where she knocked softly. No reply came, and Blake figured that Leighton must still be asleep. For a second she was tempted to give it up and go back to bed, but she didn't want to have to screw up her courage again later. Gripping the handle, she gently pushed the door open.
"Lei?" she whispered, but the back of Leighton's sleeping form didn't show any signs of movement.
It wasn't the first time Blake had seen Leighton sleep; frequently during night shoots Leighton would grab catnaps in their trailer while the crew fussed around with the lighting. But this was different; it felt like a privilege that Blake hadn't earned, and she almost backed out the door and pretended she'd never intruded. She knew that's what she ought to do, but still she stayed, transfixed by the gentle rise and fall of Leighton's chest. Somewhere in the back of her mind things started quietly slotting into place, and she found herself moving forward and sitting down on the bed behind Leighton, placing a hand on her hip.
"Lei," she whispered again, and this time Leighton stirred. Blake watched, a slight smile on her face, as Leighton's eyes fluttered open, then Leighton shifted onto her back and looked up at Blake like she was struggling to focus.
"Hey," Blake said, "about last night..."
Leighton froze, eyes wide, and Blake felt her smile slip away.
"Forget about it," Leighton said, her voice terse, and she pulled herself up into a sitting position. "It was a mistake. Pretend it never happened."
She sat there stiffly, not meeting Blake's eyes, and Blake thought she probably ought to have felt reassured but instead she just felt empty.
"I--" she began, but Leighton cut her off.
"Seriously, forget about it. It was stupid."
"Right," Blake said, a weird feeling of unease washing over her. Confused, she shook her head and stood up, hesitating for a moment before she left the room and let the door close behind her with a click.
---
They spent the day resolutely avoiding each other, occasionally exchanging perfunctory pleasantries but mostly keeping to themselves. Blake made some more cookies, and without Leighton to distract her with icing sugar fights they turned out more or less like the picture in the recipe book. She put a plate of them on the coffee table and tried not to feel too hurt when Leighton didn't take one.
She thumbed through her script, but she wasn't in the mood to read about Serena and Blair being BFFs, and she was even less inclined to go over all the flirting between Serena and Dan. Leighton was still bothering her, creeping into all her thoughts, and even though Leighton had gone out ten minutes ago, Blake could still feel her presence all over the cabin.
Maybe she needed some air. It took her five minutes to locate her snow boots and her scarf, but once she was all wrapped up she headed out, hoping the wind would blow some sense into her.
Outside, it was getting to be twilight. She glanced down the lane, then back to the cabin, and she started in surprise when she saw that Leighton was on the porch, leaning against the railing and staring out at the view. If she heard Blake, she gave no sign of acknowledgement. For a moment Blake studied Leighton's profile, feeling her chest expand like an elastic band, and then she went to join her.
Leighton didn't look at Blake as she stood beside her, leaning on the railing with one elbow so she was turned to face Leighton. Blake said nothing, only looked at Leighton, at the pink of her cheeks and the sweep of her hair.
Eventually, Leighton spoke. "I'm sorry I kissed you last night."
Blake considered her for a moment, and when she spoke, her reply was simple. "I'm not." Because all she knew was that she wanted something more, and she thought Leighton did too. Maybe it was as simple as that, after all.
Finally, Leighton turned to face Blake, her brow furrowed. "You're not?"
"No." Blake shrugged. "That's what I've been trying to tell you."
Expressions flitted over Leighton's face until she settled on a smile. "Oh," she said, and her smile spread into a grin. "Well." And she leaned toward Blake until their lips connected, one point of warmth against the chill. Blake moved a hand up to cup Leighton's jaw as she moved against her, marveling at the push and pull. She lost track of time, lost herself to Leighton, and when they finally untangled, the moon was out.
"We should probably go inside," Leighton said.
Blake murmured in agreement, but she couldn't help herself, and she pulled Leighton into another kiss. They stayed out, kissing under the light of a crescent moon, until the snow began to fall.