Things I wrote when I was 5...
I just found a folder of "work" from my first year of Primary School.
I've taken the liberty of typing some of it up for the amusement of others...
A SURPRISE FROM MY AUNTIE
My auntie gave me a packet of seeds for my birhday.
I looked at the instructions on the back and found that I needed... honey.
so i asked my dad to take me to the shops.
I only had 50p pocket money left.
Would it be enough?
Dad took me.
It took all day to look.
I'VE FOUND IT i said.
Dad jumped, and then paid the lady.
I said, Dad i'm paying.
No you're not its your birthday and I'm paying because your mum wants flowers and i have a 5 pound note and no pennys.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Can we go home now.
Arnt you going to say thankyou.
No ive got plants to grow.
Oh thats not nice.
When I got home i said to dad i was sorry.
I planted the seeds and oh one of the seeds had sproted and said hi.
I grabed the honey and i threw it at the plant.
Ha dont be rough im only a honey eater and isnt it time for food.
What arnt you going to say pleas.
No.
Why?
Becose i dont want to.
I then knew why dad was angry.
I fed my plant and then was thinking of a name then it struck me Michael he didnt like it.
I know Mark O.K but only if i have a jacket.
Its a deal.
Give me my hacket.
O.k Mark.
Stop calling me Mark.
Im takeing your jacekt if your not mark.
NO ILL DIE.
He hopped to me and bite my leg AHHHHHHHHHHHHH that hert I know.
I droped the jacket.
AH give it here he said.
OK i said im going to the toilet.
Im going too.
You rood plant.
You cant come.
And i thew away the other seeds one is anoth.
When i came back he was climing up the loft STOP i said.
i was to iate he was chating with dad.
Dad loved it.
He was haveing a great time.
I ran and came back with more honey.
Mark jumped down after it.
Dad whent to.
I stoped him from finding the seeds in the bin.
I saw a wing move.
The clocks gone.
You took it.
I only borod it.
He took a big breth and spat at me out came a honey coverd... CLOCK!
Yuk look at the mess youve made.
Mum best perls my school jumper.
YOU wack oh im sorry.
Oh thar orite.
Come on i will bandege you up.
My mum works with aid.
Help he cride.
You need some round here.
He said mmmm.
Look carots likes you.
Buy Mark mmmmm buy Mark buuuuu.
What did you say?
mmmmm.
Listen i dont know what your saying.
I know ill undo the rope.
I was saying open the window.
Why?
I want water.
Anyway its rainging NO we have water from the tap.
Whats a tap?
Um well you get warter from it.
Didnt you know?
Well yes.
Can you do majic?
Just a littel bit.
Ill do some if you like.
Oh yes.
Ok lets start.
He started to mumbel alot.
Everything started to go upside down.
Stop.
i cant i dont know how.
I havent tride it yet.
I only know a littel bit of majic. Quick before mum gets in.
Aahhhh my cup of tea you sily girl.
But mum it was my plant.
Its true dear i had a wonderful talk with Mark.
Whos Mark?
Xenias plant.
I would have geust of cours it was mark plants cant speck.
Mark said well i knew that.
Mum fainted kooky and carots took a nibel out of Mark AAHHHHH that hert.
We know.
My auntie came to give me more seeds.
Oh no.
--
A note on this;
I can only imagine this was the result of having seen Little Shop of Horrors one too many times. Mark and Michael were boys I had crushes on. "Kooky" (Cookie) and "Carots" (Carrots) were cats we had at the time. Cookie is still with us and lives with my parents in Norfolk, Carrots was run over by a car later the same year I wrote this. I was devestated.
--
My birthday=
My name= Xenia Kingsley
My hair= is orang and short.
My face= has two blue eyes and a tini bit of freckels.
I live in= a house.
I live with= my mum dad & sister + alot of animals. Wich are chickens dogs oats ginny pig ducks rabit bird.
At home I like to= Play with the baby cat.
I am good at= rideing my bike.
I want to be better at= roller skateing.
I am going to try hard at= being a brwonie and allso working in school.
My favourite food is= lasagne.
One thing I dislike= when pepale dont take enein enye eney a notese notic of me. a when i heart myself.
--
A note on this;
I clearly did not know my own birthday.
For some reason, I decided rabbits and birds did not count as pets?
My favourite part of this is that the thing I disliked was people not taking any notice of me, but seeing as I couldn't spell it, I resorted to the much less emo statement- when I hurt myself.
Notable spelling mistakes; brwonie= Brownie, oats= Cats, ginny= Guinea.
--
It makes me cry.
It hurts on the outside.
SUNBUrnERNS. Becouse I go brit brite pink.
It hurts on the inside.
feelings. becouses of pepole calling me names.
--
Tuesday 6th October.
Mixing Paints.
Samantha and me and some other people went to mrs howards room to do some painting. We had to pick a leaf and take them to mrs howards room and start the paintings My leaf was hard to paint it was a rose leaf. The painting we did was blending the colours to match the leafs. I had too much paint so I painted the whole shet of paper.
* Attached is an A4 sheet of painted green paper with the crumbled remains of a leaf sellotaped to it.
--
A note on this;
This one is my favourite. The page of green nothingness brings a tear of pride to my eye. Brilliance.
I've taken the liberty of typing some of it up for the amusement of others...
A SURPRISE FROM MY AUNTIE
My auntie gave me a packet of seeds for my birhday.
I looked at the instructions on the back and found that I needed... honey.
so i asked my dad to take me to the shops.
I only had 50p pocket money left.
Would it be enough?
Dad took me.
It took all day to look.
I'VE FOUND IT i said.
Dad jumped, and then paid the lady.
I said, Dad i'm paying.
No you're not its your birthday and I'm paying because your mum wants flowers and i have a 5 pound note and no pennys.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Can we go home now.
Arnt you going to say thankyou.
No ive got plants to grow.
Oh thats not nice.
When I got home i said to dad i was sorry.
I planted the seeds and oh one of the seeds had sproted and said hi.
I grabed the honey and i threw it at the plant.
Ha dont be rough im only a honey eater and isnt it time for food.
What arnt you going to say pleas.
No.
Why?
Becose i dont want to.
I then knew why dad was angry.
I fed my plant and then was thinking of a name then it struck me Michael he didnt like it.
I know Mark O.K but only if i have a jacket.
Its a deal.
Give me my hacket.
O.k Mark.
Stop calling me Mark.
Im takeing your jacekt if your not mark.
NO ILL DIE.
He hopped to me and bite my leg AHHHHHHHHHHHHH that hert I know.
I droped the jacket.
AH give it here he said.
OK i said im going to the toilet.
Im going too.
You rood plant.
You cant come.
And i thew away the other seeds one is anoth.
When i came back he was climing up the loft STOP i said.
i was to iate he was chating with dad.
Dad loved it.
He was haveing a great time.
I ran and came back with more honey.
Mark jumped down after it.
Dad whent to.
I stoped him from finding the seeds in the bin.
I saw a wing move.
The clocks gone.
You took it.
I only borod it.
He took a big breth and spat at me out came a honey coverd... CLOCK!
Yuk look at the mess youve made.
Mum best perls my school jumper.
YOU wack oh im sorry.
Oh thar orite.
Come on i will bandege you up.
My mum works with aid.
Help he cride.
You need some round here.
He said mmmm.
Look carots likes you.
Buy Mark mmmmm buy Mark buuuuu.
What did you say?
mmmmm.
Listen i dont know what your saying.
I know ill undo the rope.
I was saying open the window.
Why?
I want water.
Anyway its rainging NO we have water from the tap.
Whats a tap?
Um well you get warter from it.
Didnt you know?
Well yes.
Can you do majic?
Just a littel bit.
Ill do some if you like.
Oh yes.
Ok lets start.
He started to mumbel alot.
Everything started to go upside down.
Stop.
i cant i dont know how.
I havent tride it yet.
I only know a littel bit of majic. Quick before mum gets in.
Aahhhh my cup of tea you sily girl.
But mum it was my plant.
Its true dear i had a wonderful talk with Mark.
Whos Mark?
Xenias plant.
I would have geust of cours it was mark plants cant speck.
Mark said well i knew that.
Mum fainted kooky and carots took a nibel out of Mark AAHHHHH that hert.
We know.
My auntie came to give me more seeds.
Oh no.
--
A note on this;
I can only imagine this was the result of having seen Little Shop of Horrors one too many times. Mark and Michael were boys I had crushes on. "Kooky" (Cookie) and "Carots" (Carrots) were cats we had at the time. Cookie is still with us and lives with my parents in Norfolk, Carrots was run over by a car later the same year I wrote this. I was devestated.
--
My birthday=
My name= Xenia Kingsley
My hair= is orang and short.
My face= has two blue eyes and a tini bit of freckels.
I live in= a house.
I live with= my mum dad & sister + alot of animals. Wich are chickens dogs oats ginny pig ducks rabit bird.
At home I like to= Play with the baby cat.
I am good at= rideing my bike.
I want to be better at= roller skateing.
I am going to try hard at= being a brwonie and allso working in school.
My favourite food is= lasagne.
One thing I dislike= when pepale dont take enein enye eney a notese notic of me. a when i heart myself.
--
A note on this;
I clearly did not know my own birthday.
For some reason, I decided rabbits and birds did not count as pets?
My favourite part of this is that the thing I disliked was people not taking any notice of me, but seeing as I couldn't spell it, I resorted to the much less emo statement- when I hurt myself.
Notable spelling mistakes; brwonie= Brownie, oats= Cats, ginny= Guinea.
--
It makes me cry.
It hurts on the outside.
SUNBUrnERNS. Becouse I go brit brite pink.
It hurts on the inside.
feelings. becouses of pepole calling me names.
--
Tuesday 6th October.
Mixing Paints.
Samantha and me and some other people went to mrs howards room to do some painting. We had to pick a leaf and take them to mrs howards room and start the paintings My leaf was hard to paint it was a rose leaf. The painting we did was blending the colours to match the leafs. I had too much paint so I painted the whole shet of paper.
* Attached is an A4 sheet of painted green paper with the crumbled remains of a leaf sellotaped to it.
--
A note on this;
This one is my favourite. The page of green nothingness brings a tear of pride to my eye. Brilliance.