Leaving yourself behind

[box_life]

You’re standing alone in the room that was once yours. You’re moving the last of your things out of your parents’ house when you stop to stare. You want to sit on the floor for a moment, to rest, to think, to soak up the rays of Sunday morning sun, but you don’t, because if you do you think will start crying, gulping and helpless to fit the

Comments

[malfunkshon]

That's very good, is it part of a longer story?
I like the use of the 2nd person narration. I've just finished re-reading (for the 3rd time!) 'Bright Lights, Big City' by Jay McInerney - a really famous example of successful 2nd person narration. It really throws you 'into' the story if you know what I mean.

[box_life]

It is part of the ~story of my life~ which isn't any kind of official longer work, but there is a part of my life I would like to novelize somehow. Some day. Maybe. Not this part though.

2nd person was just the way this came to me. I almost have a bad habit of writing with weird POV and tenses. Sometimes I have to adjust to normal old third person past tense.

[razzthekid]

UGH I love this. So much. Such a beautiful depiction of growing older and things maybe not happening exactly the way you planned ( or at least not feeling the way you thought they'd feel). Love love love.

[box_life]

Daaaa, thanks. :)