"When you're having a bad day, how do you react?"

Today's episode: When second halves of questions don't match up with first halves.

Livejournal, the answer is 'negatively'. For everyone.

Let's try a thought experiment:

"When you get a limb torn off in a heavy machinery accident, how do you react?"
"When your parents tell you they only didn't have you ( Read more... )

"What vegetable or fruit do you relate to most?"

I.... what???

How can you possibly give a meaningful answer to this question??? I mean, shit, at least if it was 'animal' you could be all "I am a brilliant loner and thusly remind myself of the noble and hardy coyote" or like "I am... moron, I am... like... sheeps".

But... fruit or vegetables? "I am a ( Read more... )

"If you had to oick a time perious to live in, which would you choose? Why?"

What's that, every left-wing arts student in the world? "Paris, May 1968"?

If you've ever identified with left-wing radical politics, chances are you wish you were kickin' it revolution stylee as Paris went up in arms and flames in May '68. I suppose it would have been ( Read more... )

"What are you most sensitive about?"

Today in "Clearing the backlog of writer's block questions":

Guys, this is getting difficult. Its questions like this one that really test my abilities to make something out of nothing. This is the sort of question that if someone asked you it on a first date you'd be all "Hmmmm, really? Ok, well I'll call you, ( Read more... )

"How many pair (sic) of shoes do you have? Out of those pairs, how many do you wear more than a few times a year?"

Really? This is something people really want to know?

Apparently!!

Look. I own five pairs of shoes - casual shoes (2 pairs), work shoes (1 pair), running shoes, soccer boots. All of which I bought because I needed them. All of which I ( Read more... )

"Has anyone ever done something so horrible to you that "I'm sorry" couldn't fix it?"

Well, Livejournal, there was the one time you made that fucking One Republic song the subject line of a writer's block question...

In a word, no, that has never actually happened to me. And I think that is because there's very little likelihood of me being friends ( Read more... )

"What is one thing you MUST do before you go to bed at night?"

Brush my teeth, poop and wash my face.

But here's a list of things that would be more exciting:

• Throw bucket of sheep liver to the charity collection door-knocker I have locked in the shed.
• Answer fan e-mails.
• Telephone the Prime Minister of Britain and read have him read me a bed-time story ( Read more... )

"Are you celebrating Cinco de Mayo"

Ah, yes don't you remember as a child, waking up to the smell of warm tortillas and Frida Kahlo paintings on Cinco de Mayo morning?

Me neither.

While its genuinely laudable that Livejournal is reaching out to the hispanic population of the US, its perhaps a little less laudable that Livejournal has totally ( Read more... )

"What fictional character do you relate to most an why?"

Well that's easy, the fictional character I relate to most is: God.

Ok ok, settle down, that's a joke.

Here's a question that gives you the opportunity to not just demonstrate how awesome you are by knowing about Cool Things, it also gives you the opportunity to compare yourself with Cool ( Read more... )

"If you had a crowbar and could smash anything in your home or office, what would it be? Why?

Dear intern who Livejournal gives the task of writing the writer's block questions,

I thank you.

And I thank that intern because this is a transcendent question which gives the respondant an opportunity to put themself in a theoretically violent position, and ( Read more... )