Alive!

[bpthought]

Im finally in a place where I can dream big dreams. For so long, I was bogged down with all this stuff -- physical stuff, emotional stuff, spiritual stuff -- but now I have some clarity and can get everything in order...my financial life...my home life...my everything. I couldnt dream my dreams before because my insides were too cluttered. And

Comments

[mujernoble]

Are you VERBALLY telling this dude this or are they just thoughts. You might want to make it clear to him how you feel... if you don't he'll keep worrying the crap out of you...lol. You want me to do it... I promise you he will stop calling you as much...LOL!

[bpthought]

Yep. I have verbally told him.
The man l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y calls me 8...9...10 times a DAY... while Im at work...at church...on dates...oknotondates. But he will come ring my bell and say "What you doin? I need someone to talk to. I want to have a cup of tea with you. And go fishing."

Now, as I am in the middle of cleaning out my closet and doing 19 years of work in 36 minues, I am in nooooooooooo mood to stop what Im doing to go make that man a cup of tea or go fishing. But I do it. I do it because I feel I have a duty to reach out to those in need even when I dont feel like it. And God has a special love for the widows (and widowers) and the orphans.

But he really has no friends or anyone. I can tell him over and over not to call me 36 times a day but he just doesnt get it.

<---picks up and moves at 3am

[mujernoble]

I understand what you're saying but if you don't set a limit or boundaries then he won't stop. Sometimes you have to put your food down... widow or not.

Do you want me to talk to him??? Please ... Please...lol

[bpthought]

Yeah. It's kinda complicated. He's um kindasuicidal. :x

He talks about taking out his guns and killing himself (because, since his Dear Late Wife Kathy died, "there's no reason for living.") Im not sure how much of it is grief & how much is him.

He drinks non-stop, he's on all these anti-depressants & he has one "illness" after another. If he were stable, I could be more blunt with him. (But if he were more stable, he also wouldnt be calling me 93 times a day.) lol

It's just more complicated psychiatrically than I probably could convey here. With people who are um--- *looks around* ----crazy, you just cant be rollin all up on them telling them stuff they dont want to hear, you know? lol

<---pulls blinds and rolls across florr to living room