Comments | br_roleplay_2: Haruka Yoshida [D3] Unfortunate Few

geek_la_chic in br_roleplay_2

Haruka Yoshida [D3] Unfortunate Few

Aug 03, 2010 08:38

Every pounding footstep ascending the stairway matched the same pulsing beat of her heart. Both they're clattering feet echoed throughout the school's deserted corridors. Once upon a time students would have been clattering up these stairs too, their broad laughter flowing through the hectic atmosphere.

Only the cries of two girls was here now.

The ( Read more... )

npc death, v10 haruka yoshida

Comments 5

sjorn August 3 2010, 08:05:06 UTC

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sjorn August 3 2010, 08:05:43 UTC

lol i use really wayyyy too much

carlisle516 August 3 2010, 11:46:45 UTC

Aww Josh, I really liked this!

Erika's death was well done so good job on that ^^

I love the amount of development you gave Erika over the last few posts and Haruka's response to her death was so sad, but I loved how she disregarded Shirou's death and was just too hung up on Erika. :D

Really well done post, Josh!~

kaidankido August 5 2010, 05:21:59 UTC

Very enjoyable! Liked the way the shot pretty much comes out of nowhere, much like it surprised Haruka herself. Good NPC death!

rietje_1 August 9 2010, 20:16:04 UTC

I've enjoyed the expansion on Haruka's friendship with Erika over the past few posts and I think the last one in this post explained Haruka's attachment to her so well.

I think you built the scene where Erika dies up very well, I could feel both girls' pain. Anyway, Erika's death and the way "she smiled even in death" was sweet and it was a realistic way to get Haruka to break down.