Scenes from a Preternatural Presidency -- 5. The Proper Use of Thunderbolts (B)
And there were. Irpa had told us about first-time arrival protocols, and after collecting my nervy but well-fed Special Squad we emerged from her arch in front of an enormous Early-Medieval-looking gate of iron-bound timber to be greeted by Vanna, also in Chanel, to whom we presented the scroll of invitation. A long and reassuringly formal welcome acknowledged our rights to enter, eat, and drink in safety, despite being mortal or half-mortal, while warning the agents that they were welcome but not covered, and after I’d explained that Excalibur had wished to come and was happiest on my belt with Carnwennan, we exchanged mutual promises to draw weapons or use magic only if directly and imminently threatened. Then gates were thrown open onto a courtyard with an adjacent hall and the fun began.
Ap Lugh, The Dagda, and Edythe were there, riding herd, and the place was packed, Valhallans talking among themselves but eyeing me hard enough I could feel it. Adam, Jesse, and Skuffles stuck close while introductions began, and my agents swiftly took up being watchful wallflowers. Thor was like a much larger version of Zee, pushing ten foot (which made me more sympathetic to his penchant for giantesses), ripped like a steroidal bodybuilder, and as redheaded as you can imagine - a great queue bound with silver hoops as well as a braided beard to rival The Dagda’s. I didn’t think the fancy leather belt he was wearing was Megingjörð - it didn’t ping my sense of magic at all - and there was no sign of hammer or gloves, but his handshake was as strong as he looked, though not crushing. Most of the others made me think Wagner’s operatic excess had been nearer the mark than I’d ever supposed, but maybe it was just because they were on parade. Male attire ran to heavy trousers, rich tunics, and cloaks, with plenty of leatherwork, female to swathing dresses, embroidery, and cloaks, with plenty of gold, and while many seemed remote and withdrawn despite their stares others had attitudes at once fascinated and deeply cautious. Odin made me think of Bran on a less good day, Loki of my deceitful da at his worst, and Fenrir we’d also be avoiding - Adam’s wolf didn’t like him at all - but the unexpected presence of Herne (who really did have antlers and owl-eyes) plus the lead couple of the Wild Hunt was pretty interesting, and their strong approvals of my legendary vengeances promising, while Beyla was a voluptuous but down-to-earth ex-nature-goddess very pleased with the green lurch, happy to talk cooking, Valhallan bees, and mead, and Irpa had been exactly right about that beverage. After a first, very cautious sip that set tongues on fire, Adam, Jesse, and I all opted to continue by dipping fingers and sucking, which amused Thor and Irpa, and made the burn more bearable, letting riotously drunk flower-flavours through while we sat before a fire in the also Early-Medieval pillared hall for the talking bit. Besides Thor and assorted Gray Lords, Irpa was there, and all being strictly bound to truth Underhill I’d expected some careful manoeuvring, but while there were surely shoes waiting to drop Thor was unexpectedly and ruefully direct.
“We Valhallans are out of time, Mercedes Troll-friend, as you see. Underhill it does not matter, but the Path of Mercy is Overhill, and for us to re-enter mortal time can be … awkward.” He shrugged massively. “I don’t do that well, but you really have been of interest, use, and more, so I would aid your Path if I can.”
Recalibrating fast, as I doubted Thor much cared for doing awkward at all, I nodded. “I am truly glad to know so, Thor.” I gave him a warm smile. “And I would not personally be averse to your smiting any number of people, but preternatural vigilantism is now legitimate only in specific times and places. It did occur to me, though, that Buffalo Soldier, who commands the special forces protecting Bison, the Elder Spirit, and his children, can always use extra preternatural abilities, if, say, summer nights in the Longwoods appealed ?”
“Perhaps.” He stroked his beard. “Do they catch many lawless hunters ?”
“Enough you’d have a chance of finding a legitimate target for smiting, and my people know their wood- and fieldcraft.”
“Also good. And I have played tracker before now, on my own behalf as well as on Prince Gwyn ap Lugh’s.”
That was interesting, and I filed it away to ask Irpa later.
“Alternatively, if you think policing an honourable occupation, I imagine Kennewick PD would be very happy to have someone who could, say, withoutkilling anything bring to a halt any car they were chasing - a very small thunderbolt into the engine-block would do it. Or Mjölnir and Járngreipr would make you invaluable at a bad wreck, getting people out, and while it’s a secondary benefit that would be excellent PR. It would also offer synergies with your Marvel visit.”
Large eyebrows waggled. “Maybe. Things requiring strength are an attraction, as The Dagda will tell you, and stopping wrongdoers is always good, despite your mortal scruples. I am less sure about playing a superhero, and so is Gwyn ap Lugh, but I will think on it harder if crushing guns and cars is less satisfying than I hope.” He shrugged again. “I am a problem, I know, as I would not be, but we are what we are. And my troll-daughters were nagging me nicely.”
“So I have been told, Thor, and you can be very proud of them. Congresstrolls especially are a boon and joy for my Independents, if not quite all their fellow lawmakers.” He and Irpa both grinned. “But a question, if I may ?” He nodded. “Is there anything you can tell me about what happened as Excalibur came to me in St Louis ?”
“Ah. Maybe. Quite what you and Skuffles were doing only you know, but Excalibur is an old acquaintance and that Undead was the vilest of abominations, so I boosted the slow time you were claiming by giving her some extra speed.” His renewed grin reminded me of trolls a lot more than of Chris Hemsworth. “And you did some fine smiting with her, so that is well. But your cloak and Manannán’s Bane had tapped older and deeper magics than any knew, unless Underhill was aware and kept her counsel. That is where your strange Duckpond came from, and those magics remain … what did you call it, Gwyn ap Lugh ? Attuned to Mercedes Troll-friend ?”
“I did, Thor, though no word seems quite right.” Ap Lugh looked at me thoughtfully. “We speak of ancient magics of the four elements and of balance, Mercedes, of which justice and revenge are honest parts, whatever human laws may latterly say. Your righteous dismissal of Bonarata all must admire, and your geas afterwards, in which you declared all to outbalance all while extending” - he smiled faintly - “most merciful judgement on our conduct, proved resonant with magics already sharply aware of you. They also … nagged Thor, one might say, he already possessing one aspect of their power.”
I was still wondering about ap Lugh’s agenda, as well as the many things Irpa had not been saying, and I was wary of such revelations being handed out so easily, however ap Lugh couldn’t lie, so I just quirked an eyebrow and waited, aware of Adam and Jesse listening hard with Skuffles. It took some seconds before Thor laughed.
“Why delay, Gwyn ap Lugh, when all are hungry ?” He turned to me. “That power is thunderbolts, Mercedes Troll-friend, for the wyverns were strictly forbidden from eating our immortal kine, yet repeatedly offended. Earth itself rose against them, with fire, coming to my hand in my rage. Nor will they leave me. But they will come to your hand also, if you want. They too are bored with being unneeded and unused, and think joining the wielder of Excalibur, Carnwennan, and Manannán’s Bane will offer opportunity.”
What I looked like I daren’t imagine, but Adam and Jesse had frozen and even Skuffles was seriously surprised, eyes wide and ruff twitching. I took a very deep breath.
“You propose to gift me, freely and without obligation, the magic of hurling thunderbolts ?”
“I do. Wyverns are no more, but Overhill has equivalents and the old magics have some hunger yet for the world as you help remake it.”
“I see.” Or mostly not. “I mean no offence but many questions arise. Using slow time stripped five pounds off me and left me ravenous. Why is it supposed I could without suffering harm use such potent fae magic, summoning earth and fire, and imparting great speed ?”
I’d aimed the question between Thor and ap Lugh, but it was Irpa who answered, surprising me with a wagged finger.
“The fire takes care of the speed, Mercy, and unless you try something truly silly you have the magical strength, and to spare. You’d have to be wearing the cloak, so reserves would be available, but what you took from Guayota grabbed more from Manannán than I’ve ever heard you admit, besides what went into the cloak and what his Bane took. I’d expect hunger, sure, but Da gets that, like anyone doing big magic, which thunderbolts are.” She waved a troll hand. “That side of it is not the problem. And Underhill thinks the whole idea both righteous and wonderful. It's three other things we are unsure about - one is that you’d sleep for half-a-day or so afterwards, two is that you’d need to practice at least once, so what if any publicity you want that to have arises, and three is what really prompted all this. Edythe ?”
She’d been silent, spinning slow sleepers with a decorated silver yo-yo that slapped into her palm.
“If I had any full vision I would tell you, Mercedes Elf-friend, and not only because I am bound by oath to your righteous geas.” Whatever it was I’d seen in her eyes when she was after the Faerie Queen who’d kidnapped me was there again for a long second. “That was well done, and I quite like you anyway. Coyotes are interesting. But though I have had no vision I find my dreams troubled of late, and you are the focus. I can say only a danger looms. You are as protected as any can be, and yet when Thor suggested this it seemed to me well, very well, that you should have another means and layer of defence.”
I took some more deep breaths, not looking at Adam or Jesse while my head spun fiercely. Edythe was seriously weird, whatever she actually was, but by all accounts and my own experience her prophecies were never to be taken lightly, and if I squinted a little some of the oddities in what had and hadn’t been said abruptly made more sense. “I am very glad to know these things, Edythe. Have you any sense of when this threat might come upon me ?”
She shrugged, a delicate ripple. “Guessing only, Mercedes Elf-friend, months rather than weeks or years. And guessing again, much more dangerously, one fragment of awareness was … jagged with griefs I did not think only for you.”
I was pondering that when an intent Adam leant forward.
“You would think of, say, a bomb before a lone sniper, then, Edythe ?”
She nodded. “I would, Adam Hauptmann, but such conclusions can be fatal.” She half-smiled. “Galadriel was right about that.”
“Yes, I hear you. But I am still glad.”
I nagged people about threat environments enough that I had a keen sense of my own even without the Secret Service briefing me, but a threat that was indiscriminate, merely carefully timed, was very real despite all my security - and as we all knew all too well, you could never guarantee, only up the cost for whoever made the attempt. There are good reasons suicide-bombers are hard to stop.
“As am I, Edythe. Forewarned is forearmed.” Breath. “Yet for a sitting President, there are … compounded complications.” A thought followed by a logic cascade stilled me for a second, and I sighed, turning to Gwyn ap Lugh. “Prince of the Gray Lords, pray tell me if I am wrong. Actually giving the magic takes little time, Underhill can slow-time my consequent sleep so it disrupts nothing Overhill, and you foresaw that course as the easiest answer to the problem I have accepting a major magical gift, keeping quiet about it, and countering whatever threat it may be Edythe has sensed.”
He smiled and nodded, sipping mead. “I did, Mercedes. But you know exactly how I am, like all Gray Lords, by geas oathbound to you and yours, so you may be assured there is no hidden trap in accepting the magic. It truly wishes to come to your hand. Your Mr Springsteen was right about Excalibur’s desires in that song your pack all sing, and however strangely, the old magics admire you and want the same. Irpa said you had heard the echo of the earth fae and selkies who serve you, and it is a true echo.” He sipped again, savouring mead. “If you feel you must consult, the giving need not be now, however it should be soon, and for whatever it may be worth my strong instinct is that it should be kept close, even as you inform those you must of the threat troubling Edythe, and so us all.” He gave one of his elegant shrugs. “I realise it may seem extravagant, but informing you in this manner means you need only control what your guards say while serving many other purposes.”
That got him a sharp nod. I would have to tell the Director of the Secret Service, but he understood hole-cards well enough, and the … I couldn’t say persiflage, but layers of cover and misdirection - for humans - were another gift of sorts, if I wanted them. Which I not only was going to have to, but found I did. Serious powers were not to be refused without excellent reason, and I couldn’t see one but clarified my thoughts as best I could and spun them over to Adam in a condensed package he had to unpick for a moment, frowning, before his expression cleared and he sent me back a cautious thumbs-up, with question-marks dancing round the words ‘safe magic’. I looked at him.
“Is it ever ? But as much as it can be, I think.”
Ap Lugh laughed. “That is cryptic even for you, Mercedes. Is what ever ?”
“Magic safe. And of course it isn’t. But while I do want to sleep on it, Gwyn ap Lugh, Thor, and wish to speak to Underhill, I believe we will probably be able to go ahead, say, the day after tomorrow, by Overhill time, if that would suit ?”
Thor waved a large hand, looking pleased. “I am not going anywhere. And it is time for food.”
Irpa had been right about that too, and the meats were excellent-roast pork, with rich gravy and spicy apple sauce, boiled ham with an alcoholic honey glaze, and interestingly hot jerked goat, against which I quietly warned Adam and Jesse, with a cool and herby white sauce for which I’d have liked the recipe though I suspected Valhallan-grown ingredients were necessary. Pixies and brownies would have thought the vegetables overcooked, but it wasn’t by much and they too were exceptionally tasty, Beyla accepting compliments.
Conversation was limited to those seated near us, and still being very cautious with the mead I confirmed that while most Valhallans were half-interested because Thor was doing something and I was unusual, the traction was limited because they really were withdrawn from the world Overhill - for which I gave silent thanks, as otherwise I’d have had to find things for them to do too, and we really weren’t in need of a wandering Viking pantheon. The more immediate agenda, as I’d suspected, was the trolls’, and embarrassing for me though Adam, Jesse, and Skuffles all enjoyed it. Once we got to some very fine cheeseboards Vanna proposed a toast of gladness to me for thinking of Congresstrolls, and making it happen, with happy results for bridges in several places ; Irpa proposed another, partly for instituting troll movie-nights and more complicatedly for making life in general more interesting all round ; and I returned one with any amount of gladness about female trolls, friendly ex-gods aiding magical swords to speed up when they were urgently needed, and all sorts of fae help with many important things. It amused ap Lugh and Edythe, and even tickled Thor, which didn’t save me from a human bard, apparently resident for centuries, who chanted in very odd and highly alliterative English phrases an absurd saga of Bonarata’s dismissal that insisted on calling me a beweaponed warrior as well as a cunning, careful, and courageous coyote, and Bonarata many things, but happily left out most of the politics in favour of magical and other smiting. I got a calligraphed copy afterwards, too, and was glad some more while gritting my teeth and being obliged to say I’d see it published Overhill and would someone please let me know where to pay the royalties, but that seemed to be it and with the noise level rising dramatically and discordant singing becoming more frequent we managed to make the many necessary farewells and after a brief word with ap Lugh Irpa took us back to DC, toting a case of mead for me she said was long overdue.
I’d been unsure what time Underhill might lend, and it turned out we’d been gone only a couple of hours EST, so once Irpa had left again, saying she was still in a party mood, I called Frank, State, and the Director of the Secret Service, and a while later we all sat down in the private quarters. I didn’t usually use them for business, but they were not surveilled as the Oval Office was, and State looked at me questioningly.
“A problem of some kind, I take it, Ms President. How was it ?”
“Astonishing and very tasty. Excellent herbs, and goat. Don’t ask about the mead. You’re welcome to any detail you can get out of Skuffles or Adam. But also a problem, yes. And a very odd opportunity.”
To increasing looks of astonishment I told them about my geas, without much context save an unspecified debt over Bonarata as nominal prompt, before adding Edythe’s track-record in prophecy and new warning, with Thor’s very unexpected offer, and when Adam added the mass-grief analysis the Director whipped out his phone to set something or other in immediate motion and I held up a hand.
“Wait, please. There is strategy to consider, and one thing that’s nagging me is that, as Irpa said, if I accept I’ll need to practice at least once, but training wasn’t mentioned at all. One implication is that there’s something I need to find out for myself, and one question is where, how, and on what I practice. And one definite answer is privately. Weird as it may be, thunderbolts will be a hole card and you don’t waste those. The warning, yes, of course, where it’s needed, and your agents, but without my explicit let I don’t want anyone outside this room now to know about thunderbolts.”
His gaze was calculating as he nodded. “Quite right, Ms President. You’re not particularly a terrorist target except among some of our own fanatics, who were not at all happy with you anyway, about guns, and are very disturbed about Koyaanisquat and the mini-manitous, but as you know we do have concerns that one of those might try a suicide-bombing - it’s not so different from going postal and self-terminating - and while an agent could shoot such a person on identifying them that wouldn’t stop a dead-man’s-switch triggering the bomb. But a thunderbolt strike might mash the trigger-mechanism, and any real weight of rock on top of the bomb would at least attenuate the blast, if it didn’t fragment into shrapnel. How much do thunderbolts weigh, and are they resistant to fragmentation ?”
We were all staring at him.
“Pass, Mr Director, though I shall certainly ask. And I’m rather admiring - that’s a more viable scenario than I’d come up with.”
“Or me.” Adam nodded. “Good thinking, sir. And magic follows intent, so if Mercy wanted density and blast-proofing she ought to get some at least.”
“Huh. That’s a thought, love. I wonder how … plastic the specs are. Fire’s very, earth not so much, especially when rock.”
Only to our perceptions, Mercy. Rock just bends and folds very slowly. Fire can speed that up a lot, and make rock change.
“Huh again. Like limestone and marble, you mean ?”
Yes. And granite.
“Right. But that’s high pressure as well as heat. Could work, Skuffles, I agree, but I bet the energy drain would be fierce. Agents on me always to carry extra high-cal ration-bars, please, Mr Director. They’re disgusting but they work.”
He nodded. “Yes. You ate one after Bonarata, didn’t you ?”
“Wolfed it, literally. And demolished three of Benny’s miracle pies en route to Wash. U..”
“Three ?” He frowned. “Could such depletion be dangerous ?”
“Oh yeah. Big magic costs bigtime, and mistakes are rarely without severe consequence, but Irpa was very straight that I have the juice, so while a single strike might painfully leave me several pounds thinner and urgently ravenous, I don’t think it would have any permanent effect.”
Adam nodded, a little reluctantly. “Can’t disagree, love, but I could see how much you were hurting just after Bonarata and I have no wish to see it again.”
“Wasn’t so keen myself, but the impact shock in my arms lasted longer.”
“Pain might have ebbed but you didn’t get the weight back properly until Bear fed you up. We might need to do that sooner another time. I’ll talk to Jill. Or you do.”
“Un huh. And there are a few others I’ll be talking to, Mr Director - given how often I’m in Kennewick, Medicine Wolf, with Ol’ Manitou River and Koyaanisquat. Great manitous have all sorts of awareness. And if the dog unit is strained, remember some children of Elder Spirits could help check venues ahead of time.”
He gave me a long-suffering look with which I was very familiar.
“Indeed. And I’m glad you and the First Gentleman are thinking seriously, Ms President. Is the Secretary here only as a heads-up ?”
“No.” I turned to her. “Besides the movie-night, gun crushing, and Marvel visit, Thor will help with a road-safety film for kids, and is considering occasional educational visits to Others 201 and maybe assistance to any or all of the Buffalo Rangers on Bison, Kennewick PD, and emergency response where jaws-of-life or heavy lifting are needed. Potentially very good PR, but if it happens it’ll have to be spun hard as one friendly Valhallan ex-god going the extra mile, not a step towards any more general fae emergency response - the post-earthquake arguments aren’t going away. Which means I want this kept as a matter concerning a foreign national, in your brief and Westfield’s - Thor is a helpful fae with two dual-citizenship daughters in the House, but not a citizen himself. And one reason I asked you and the Director here, to speak in the first place off the record and without surveillance, is that I want Jenna Fisher and Sally Willis sorting whatever protocols and contracts are needed. I know all the lawyers say I mustn’t recommend them, but they’re not here and National Security is, several times over. Georgetown U. is already their client, and Irpa can ask Thor to request their mediation with Marvel and any PD or other public service. I do not direct you to make contact, but strongly believe you should and hope you will - they’ll have viewpoints we need to be considering.”
Jesse’s eyes were bright on me as she gave a sharp nod. “I’ll second that, Mr Director, Ms Secretary. One very interesting thing is that Thor has a soft spot for children, and I’m thinking Others 101 as well as 201, which will have to involve Jen and Sal, so if they’re not on the federal dollar they’ll be on mine - about any necessity for which I doubt I’d be quite as discreet as I probably should be.”
Ap Lugh, The Dagda, and Edythe were there, riding herd, and the place was packed, Valhallans talking among themselves but eyeing me hard enough I could feel it. Adam, Jesse, and Skuffles stuck close while introductions began, and my agents swiftly took up being watchful wallflowers. Thor was like a much larger version of Zee, pushing ten foot (which made me more sympathetic to his penchant for giantesses), ripped like a steroidal bodybuilder, and as redheaded as you can imagine - a great queue bound with silver hoops as well as a braided beard to rival The Dagda’s. I didn’t think the fancy leather belt he was wearing was Megingjörð - it didn’t ping my sense of magic at all - and there was no sign of hammer or gloves, but his handshake was as strong as he looked, though not crushing. Most of the others made me think Wagner’s operatic excess had been nearer the mark than I’d ever supposed, but maybe it was just because they were on parade. Male attire ran to heavy trousers, rich tunics, and cloaks, with plenty of leatherwork, female to swathing dresses, embroidery, and cloaks, with plenty of gold, and while many seemed remote and withdrawn despite their stares others had attitudes at once fascinated and deeply cautious. Odin made me think of Bran on a less good day, Loki of my deceitful da at his worst, and Fenrir we’d also be avoiding - Adam’s wolf didn’t like him at all - but the unexpected presence of Herne (who really did have antlers and owl-eyes) plus the lead couple of the Wild Hunt was pretty interesting, and their strong approvals of my legendary vengeances promising, while Beyla was a voluptuous but down-to-earth ex-nature-goddess very pleased with the green lurch, happy to talk cooking, Valhallan bees, and mead, and Irpa had been exactly right about that beverage. After a first, very cautious sip that set tongues on fire, Adam, Jesse, and I all opted to continue by dipping fingers and sucking, which amused Thor and Irpa, and made the burn more bearable, letting riotously drunk flower-flavours through while we sat before a fire in the also Early-Medieval pillared hall for the talking bit. Besides Thor and assorted Gray Lords, Irpa was there, and all being strictly bound to truth Underhill I’d expected some careful manoeuvring, but while there were surely shoes waiting to drop Thor was unexpectedly and ruefully direct.
“We Valhallans are out of time, Mercedes Troll-friend, as you see. Underhill it does not matter, but the Path of Mercy is Overhill, and for us to re-enter mortal time can be … awkward.” He shrugged massively. “I don’t do that well, but you really have been of interest, use, and more, so I would aid your Path if I can.”
Recalibrating fast, as I doubted Thor much cared for doing awkward at all, I nodded. “I am truly glad to know so, Thor.” I gave him a warm smile. “And I would not personally be averse to your smiting any number of people, but preternatural vigilantism is now legitimate only in specific times and places. It did occur to me, though, that Buffalo Soldier, who commands the special forces protecting Bison, the Elder Spirit, and his children, can always use extra preternatural abilities, if, say, summer nights in the Longwoods appealed ?”
“Perhaps.” He stroked his beard. “Do they catch many lawless hunters ?”
“Enough you’d have a chance of finding a legitimate target for smiting, and my people know their wood- and fieldcraft.”
“Also good. And I have played tracker before now, on my own behalf as well as on Prince Gwyn ap Lugh’s.”
That was interesting, and I filed it away to ask Irpa later.
“Alternatively, if you think policing an honourable occupation, I imagine Kennewick PD would be very happy to have someone who could, say, withoutkilling anything bring to a halt any car they were chasing - a very small thunderbolt into the engine-block would do it. Or Mjölnir and Járngreipr would make you invaluable at a bad wreck, getting people out, and while it’s a secondary benefit that would be excellent PR. It would also offer synergies with your Marvel visit.”
Large eyebrows waggled. “Maybe. Things requiring strength are an attraction, as The Dagda will tell you, and stopping wrongdoers is always good, despite your mortal scruples. I am less sure about playing a superhero, and so is Gwyn ap Lugh, but I will think on it harder if crushing guns and cars is less satisfying than I hope.” He shrugged again. “I am a problem, I know, as I would not be, but we are what we are. And my troll-daughters were nagging me nicely.”
“So I have been told, Thor, and you can be very proud of them. Congresstrolls especially are a boon and joy for my Independents, if not quite all their fellow lawmakers.” He and Irpa both grinned. “But a question, if I may ?” He nodded. “Is there anything you can tell me about what happened as Excalibur came to me in St Louis ?”
“Ah. Maybe. Quite what you and Skuffles were doing only you know, but Excalibur is an old acquaintance and that Undead was the vilest of abominations, so I boosted the slow time you were claiming by giving her some extra speed.” His renewed grin reminded me of trolls a lot more than of Chris Hemsworth. “And you did some fine smiting with her, so that is well. But your cloak and Manannán’s Bane had tapped older and deeper magics than any knew, unless Underhill was aware and kept her counsel. That is where your strange Duckpond came from, and those magics remain … what did you call it, Gwyn ap Lugh ? Attuned to Mercedes Troll-friend ?”
“I did, Thor, though no word seems quite right.” Ap Lugh looked at me thoughtfully. “We speak of ancient magics of the four elements and of balance, Mercedes, of which justice and revenge are honest parts, whatever human laws may latterly say. Your righteous dismissal of Bonarata all must admire, and your geas afterwards, in which you declared all to outbalance all while extending” - he smiled faintly - “most merciful judgement on our conduct, proved resonant with magics already sharply aware of you. They also … nagged Thor, one might say, he already possessing one aspect of their power.”
I was still wondering about ap Lugh’s agenda, as well as the many things Irpa had not been saying, and I was wary of such revelations being handed out so easily, however ap Lugh couldn’t lie, so I just quirked an eyebrow and waited, aware of Adam and Jesse listening hard with Skuffles. It took some seconds before Thor laughed.
“Why delay, Gwyn ap Lugh, when all are hungry ?” He turned to me. “That power is thunderbolts, Mercedes Troll-friend, for the wyverns were strictly forbidden from eating our immortal kine, yet repeatedly offended. Earth itself rose against them, with fire, coming to my hand in my rage. Nor will they leave me. But they will come to your hand also, if you want. They too are bored with being unneeded and unused, and think joining the wielder of Excalibur, Carnwennan, and Manannán’s Bane will offer opportunity.”
What I looked like I daren’t imagine, but Adam and Jesse had frozen and even Skuffles was seriously surprised, eyes wide and ruff twitching. I took a very deep breath.
“You propose to gift me, freely and without obligation, the magic of hurling thunderbolts ?”
“I do. Wyverns are no more, but Overhill has equivalents and the old magics have some hunger yet for the world as you help remake it.”
“I see.” Or mostly not. “I mean no offence but many questions arise. Using slow time stripped five pounds off me and left me ravenous. Why is it supposed I could without suffering harm use such potent fae magic, summoning earth and fire, and imparting great speed ?”
I’d aimed the question between Thor and ap Lugh, but it was Irpa who answered, surprising me with a wagged finger.
“The fire takes care of the speed, Mercy, and unless you try something truly silly you have the magical strength, and to spare. You’d have to be wearing the cloak, so reserves would be available, but what you took from Guayota grabbed more from Manannán than I’ve ever heard you admit, besides what went into the cloak and what his Bane took. I’d expect hunger, sure, but Da gets that, like anyone doing big magic, which thunderbolts are.” She waved a troll hand. “That side of it is not the problem. And Underhill thinks the whole idea both righteous and wonderful. It's three other things we are unsure about - one is that you’d sleep for half-a-day or so afterwards, two is that you’d need to practice at least once, so what if any publicity you want that to have arises, and three is what really prompted all this. Edythe ?”
She’d been silent, spinning slow sleepers with a decorated silver yo-yo that slapped into her palm.
“If I had any full vision I would tell you, Mercedes Elf-friend, and not only because I am bound by oath to your righteous geas.” Whatever it was I’d seen in her eyes when she was after the Faerie Queen who’d kidnapped me was there again for a long second. “That was well done, and I quite like you anyway. Coyotes are interesting. But though I have had no vision I find my dreams troubled of late, and you are the focus. I can say only a danger looms. You are as protected as any can be, and yet when Thor suggested this it seemed to me well, very well, that you should have another means and layer of defence.”
I took some more deep breaths, not looking at Adam or Jesse while my head spun fiercely. Edythe was seriously weird, whatever she actually was, but by all accounts and my own experience her prophecies were never to be taken lightly, and if I squinted a little some of the oddities in what had and hadn’t been said abruptly made more sense. “I am very glad to know these things, Edythe. Have you any sense of when this threat might come upon me ?”
She shrugged, a delicate ripple. “Guessing only, Mercedes Elf-friend, months rather than weeks or years. And guessing again, much more dangerously, one fragment of awareness was … jagged with griefs I did not think only for you.”
I was pondering that when an intent Adam leant forward.
“You would think of, say, a bomb before a lone sniper, then, Edythe ?”
She nodded. “I would, Adam Hauptmann, but such conclusions can be fatal.” She half-smiled. “Galadriel was right about that.”
“Yes, I hear you. But I am still glad.”
I nagged people about threat environments enough that I had a keen sense of my own even without the Secret Service briefing me, but a threat that was indiscriminate, merely carefully timed, was very real despite all my security - and as we all knew all too well, you could never guarantee, only up the cost for whoever made the attempt. There are good reasons suicide-bombers are hard to stop.
“As am I, Edythe. Forewarned is forearmed.” Breath. “Yet for a sitting President, there are … compounded complications.” A thought followed by a logic cascade stilled me for a second, and I sighed, turning to Gwyn ap Lugh. “Prince of the Gray Lords, pray tell me if I am wrong. Actually giving the magic takes little time, Underhill can slow-time my consequent sleep so it disrupts nothing Overhill, and you foresaw that course as the easiest answer to the problem I have accepting a major magical gift, keeping quiet about it, and countering whatever threat it may be Edythe has sensed.”
He smiled and nodded, sipping mead. “I did, Mercedes. But you know exactly how I am, like all Gray Lords, by geas oathbound to you and yours, so you may be assured there is no hidden trap in accepting the magic. It truly wishes to come to your hand. Your Mr Springsteen was right about Excalibur’s desires in that song your pack all sing, and however strangely, the old magics admire you and want the same. Irpa said you had heard the echo of the earth fae and selkies who serve you, and it is a true echo.” He sipped again, savouring mead. “If you feel you must consult, the giving need not be now, however it should be soon, and for whatever it may be worth my strong instinct is that it should be kept close, even as you inform those you must of the threat troubling Edythe, and so us all.” He gave one of his elegant shrugs. “I realise it may seem extravagant, but informing you in this manner means you need only control what your guards say while serving many other purposes.”
That got him a sharp nod. I would have to tell the Director of the Secret Service, but he understood hole-cards well enough, and the … I couldn’t say persiflage, but layers of cover and misdirection - for humans - were another gift of sorts, if I wanted them. Which I not only was going to have to, but found I did. Serious powers were not to be refused without excellent reason, and I couldn’t see one but clarified my thoughts as best I could and spun them over to Adam in a condensed package he had to unpick for a moment, frowning, before his expression cleared and he sent me back a cautious thumbs-up, with question-marks dancing round the words ‘safe magic’. I looked at him.
“Is it ever ? But as much as it can be, I think.”
Ap Lugh laughed. “That is cryptic even for you, Mercedes. Is what ever ?”
“Magic safe. And of course it isn’t. But while I do want to sleep on it, Gwyn ap Lugh, Thor, and wish to speak to Underhill, I believe we will probably be able to go ahead, say, the day after tomorrow, by Overhill time, if that would suit ?”
Thor waved a large hand, looking pleased. “I am not going anywhere. And it is time for food.”
Irpa had been right about that too, and the meats were excellent-roast pork, with rich gravy and spicy apple sauce, boiled ham with an alcoholic honey glaze, and interestingly hot jerked goat, against which I quietly warned Adam and Jesse, with a cool and herby white sauce for which I’d have liked the recipe though I suspected Valhallan-grown ingredients were necessary. Pixies and brownies would have thought the vegetables overcooked, but it wasn’t by much and they too were exceptionally tasty, Beyla accepting compliments.
Conversation was limited to those seated near us, and still being very cautious with the mead I confirmed that while most Valhallans were half-interested because Thor was doing something and I was unusual, the traction was limited because they really were withdrawn from the world Overhill - for which I gave silent thanks, as otherwise I’d have had to find things for them to do too, and we really weren’t in need of a wandering Viking pantheon. The more immediate agenda, as I’d suspected, was the trolls’, and embarrassing for me though Adam, Jesse, and Skuffles all enjoyed it. Once we got to some very fine cheeseboards Vanna proposed a toast of gladness to me for thinking of Congresstrolls, and making it happen, with happy results for bridges in several places ; Irpa proposed another, partly for instituting troll movie-nights and more complicatedly for making life in general more interesting all round ; and I returned one with any amount of gladness about female trolls, friendly ex-gods aiding magical swords to speed up when they were urgently needed, and all sorts of fae help with many important things. It amused ap Lugh and Edythe, and even tickled Thor, which didn’t save me from a human bard, apparently resident for centuries, who chanted in very odd and highly alliterative English phrases an absurd saga of Bonarata’s dismissal that insisted on calling me a beweaponed warrior as well as a cunning, careful, and courageous coyote, and Bonarata many things, but happily left out most of the politics in favour of magical and other smiting. I got a calligraphed copy afterwards, too, and was glad some more while gritting my teeth and being obliged to say I’d see it published Overhill and would someone please let me know where to pay the royalties, but that seemed to be it and with the noise level rising dramatically and discordant singing becoming more frequent we managed to make the many necessary farewells and after a brief word with ap Lugh Irpa took us back to DC, toting a case of mead for me she said was long overdue.
I’d been unsure what time Underhill might lend, and it turned out we’d been gone only a couple of hours EST, so once Irpa had left again, saying she was still in a party mood, I called Frank, State, and the Director of the Secret Service, and a while later we all sat down in the private quarters. I didn’t usually use them for business, but they were not surveilled as the Oval Office was, and State looked at me questioningly.
“A problem of some kind, I take it, Ms President. How was it ?”
“Astonishing and very tasty. Excellent herbs, and goat. Don’t ask about the mead. You’re welcome to any detail you can get out of Skuffles or Adam. But also a problem, yes. And a very odd opportunity.”
To increasing looks of astonishment I told them about my geas, without much context save an unspecified debt over Bonarata as nominal prompt, before adding Edythe’s track-record in prophecy and new warning, with Thor’s very unexpected offer, and when Adam added the mass-grief analysis the Director whipped out his phone to set something or other in immediate motion and I held up a hand.
“Wait, please. There is strategy to consider, and one thing that’s nagging me is that, as Irpa said, if I accept I’ll need to practice at least once, but training wasn’t mentioned at all. One implication is that there’s something I need to find out for myself, and one question is where, how, and on what I practice. And one definite answer is privately. Weird as it may be, thunderbolts will be a hole card and you don’t waste those. The warning, yes, of course, where it’s needed, and your agents, but without my explicit let I don’t want anyone outside this room now to know about thunderbolts.”
His gaze was calculating as he nodded. “Quite right, Ms President. You’re not particularly a terrorist target except among some of our own fanatics, who were not at all happy with you anyway, about guns, and are very disturbed about Koyaanisquat and the mini-manitous, but as you know we do have concerns that one of those might try a suicide-bombing - it’s not so different from going postal and self-terminating - and while an agent could shoot such a person on identifying them that wouldn’t stop a dead-man’s-switch triggering the bomb. But a thunderbolt strike might mash the trigger-mechanism, and any real weight of rock on top of the bomb would at least attenuate the blast, if it didn’t fragment into shrapnel. How much do thunderbolts weigh, and are they resistant to fragmentation ?”
We were all staring at him.
“Pass, Mr Director, though I shall certainly ask. And I’m rather admiring - that’s a more viable scenario than I’d come up with.”
“Or me.” Adam nodded. “Good thinking, sir. And magic follows intent, so if Mercy wanted density and blast-proofing she ought to get some at least.”
“Huh. That’s a thought, love. I wonder how … plastic the specs are. Fire’s very, earth not so much, especially when rock.”
Only to our perceptions, Mercy. Rock just bends and folds very slowly. Fire can speed that up a lot, and make rock change.
“Huh again. Like limestone and marble, you mean ?”
Yes. And granite.
“Right. But that’s high pressure as well as heat. Could work, Skuffles, I agree, but I bet the energy drain would be fierce. Agents on me always to carry extra high-cal ration-bars, please, Mr Director. They’re disgusting but they work.”
He nodded. “Yes. You ate one after Bonarata, didn’t you ?”
“Wolfed it, literally. And demolished three of Benny’s miracle pies en route to Wash. U..”
“Three ?” He frowned. “Could such depletion be dangerous ?”
“Oh yeah. Big magic costs bigtime, and mistakes are rarely without severe consequence, but Irpa was very straight that I have the juice, so while a single strike might painfully leave me several pounds thinner and urgently ravenous, I don’t think it would have any permanent effect.”
Adam nodded, a little reluctantly. “Can’t disagree, love, but I could see how much you were hurting just after Bonarata and I have no wish to see it again.”
“Wasn’t so keen myself, but the impact shock in my arms lasted longer.”
“Pain might have ebbed but you didn’t get the weight back properly until Bear fed you up. We might need to do that sooner another time. I’ll talk to Jill. Or you do.”
“Un huh. And there are a few others I’ll be talking to, Mr Director - given how often I’m in Kennewick, Medicine Wolf, with Ol’ Manitou River and Koyaanisquat. Great manitous have all sorts of awareness. And if the dog unit is strained, remember some children of Elder Spirits could help check venues ahead of time.”
He gave me a long-suffering look with which I was very familiar.
“Indeed. And I’m glad you and the First Gentleman are thinking seriously, Ms President. Is the Secretary here only as a heads-up ?”
“No.” I turned to her. “Besides the movie-night, gun crushing, and Marvel visit, Thor will help with a road-safety film for kids, and is considering occasional educational visits to Others 201 and maybe assistance to any or all of the Buffalo Rangers on Bison, Kennewick PD, and emergency response where jaws-of-life or heavy lifting are needed. Potentially very good PR, but if it happens it’ll have to be spun hard as one friendly Valhallan ex-god going the extra mile, not a step towards any more general fae emergency response - the post-earthquake arguments aren’t going away. Which means I want this kept as a matter concerning a foreign national, in your brief and Westfield’s - Thor is a helpful fae with two dual-citizenship daughters in the House, but not a citizen himself. And one reason I asked you and the Director here, to speak in the first place off the record and without surveillance, is that I want Jenna Fisher and Sally Willis sorting whatever protocols and contracts are needed. I know all the lawyers say I mustn’t recommend them, but they’re not here and National Security is, several times over. Georgetown U. is already their client, and Irpa can ask Thor to request their mediation with Marvel and any PD or other public service. I do not direct you to make contact, but strongly believe you should and hope you will - they’ll have viewpoints we need to be considering.”
Jesse’s eyes were bright on me as she gave a sharp nod. “I’ll second that, Mr Director, Ms Secretary. One very interesting thing is that Thor has a soft spot for children, and I’m thinking Others 101 as well as 201, which will have to involve Jen and Sal, so if they’re not on the federal dollar they’ll be on mine - about any necessity for which I doubt I’d be quite as discreet as I probably should be.”