(no subject)
last cigarette: never
last kiss: don't rub it in asshole
last good cry: tuesday? in the bathroom of my hotel room
last library book checked out: nothing since i lost that atlantic monthly. i NEED to find that. shit.
last movie seen: brazil--has nothing to do with brazil
In the theatre: rent?
last book read: how to be alone, essays by jonothan frazen
last cuss word uttered: fuck probably
last beverage drank: ice water
last food consumed: fish and potatos. don't ask.
last phone call: my father asking why i wasn't awake yet(which is slightly contradictory...)
last tv show watched: x-files
last shoes worn: newbalances
last cd played: my kickass mix in preperation for lexinton
last item bought: marie clare(i know), rollos, and bubblicious all in one purchase
last downloaded: samy's conversation with that boy, if that counts
last annoyance: i may or may not be sick
last disappointment: wendsday night, but i did have to wake up at 4:00 so i guess its alright...
last soda drank: IBC root beer at that california pizza kitchen
last thing handwritten: the last thing i can rember is flowing doubles...but that can't be right...
last word spoken: nooooooooooooooooo(on finding out that mike's sandwich intructions had changed since last we spoke :0( )
last sleep: last night fool
last im: brainstormerus: breakfast?
last weird encounter: jack and dan in the elevator once zack was gone
last ice cream eaten: chocolate, last night
last amused: i constantly amuse myself
last time wanting to die: tuesday
last time hugged: my papa
last time scolded: yesterday
last chair sat in: the one i'm sitting in
last lipstick used: last year on that random track run
last shirt worn: wearing stoddart soccer t-shirt, abnoxiously aqua colored
last time dancing: like five minutes ago. in my room. by myself.
last poster looked at: what the hell?
last show attended: nothing for a while :0(
last webpage visited: lj? i went to questionable content before that(www.questionablecontent.net)
Basics
Your gender:: female
Straight/Gay/Bi:: straight
Single?: yes
If not, do you want to be?: no i am
Birthdate:: 9/3/90
Your age:: fifteen!
Age you act:: four, well, at least i'm older than shezaad
Age you wish you were:: sixteen? then i could drive...but i would have to be a junior...hmmm...
Your height:: 5'1.75"
Eye color:: hazel
Happy with it?: sure
Hair color:: blondish brown with a tiny bit of red apparently
Happy with it?: its pretty cool.
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: righty
Your living arrangement:: second floor of my fathers house
Your family:: Mom, Dad, mike and myself
Have any pets?: webster cat!
Whats your job?: i do school
Piercings?: none
Tattoos?: nope
Obsessions?: i have a hidden one for hello kitty, i admit it.
Addictions?: respect?
Do you speak another language?: nope. i'm taking spanish but i sure as hell can't speak it.
Have a favorite quote?: "you know what your problem is julia? you're not your brother"
Do you have a webpage?: lj?
Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it
Do you live in the moment?: i'd certainly like to
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: i hope so
Do you have any secrets?: yep
Do you hate yourself?: depends
Do you like your handwriting?: it's very me. but all of my teachers HATE it, too large and illegable.
Do you have any bad habits?: yeah, i'd say so
What is the compliment you get from most people?: thanks, you're awesome too?
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: " ... [subheading]the Julia Coursey Story" heck yes
What's your biggest fear?: dying alone and unloved after a pointless life in which i had very little effect on any persona dn created no lasting change for the better. inspiring apathy.
Can you sing?: i like to sing, but i can't actually do it.
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: of course. but everything i pretend to be is actually me because i am the one doing the action. i can never falsify myself, because i always am. i can hid who that is from the outside world, but my very act of hiding reveals things about me.
Are you a loner?: i feel like one alot.
What are your #1 priorities in life?: i am completely self involved. but i'd just like for everyone to be happy.
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: eh, depends. i'm sort of an ass most of the time.
Are you a daredevil?: when i'm in the mood.
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: yes
Are you passive or agressive?: both?
Do you have a journal?: i have a live journal...
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: strength: i don't need anyoneelse to amuse me weakness: i don't need anyone else to make me sad.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: i don't actually know. huh.
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: ha!
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: of course
Do you think life has been good so far?: well, it depends on howyou veiw things
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: live for the moment
What do you like the most about your body?: my calves
Do you think you are good looking?: no
Are you confident?: obvioulsy not
What is the fictional character you are most like?: i always compared myself to alanna secretly. but she's sooooooo cool.
Are you perceived wrongly?: eh. probably.
Do You...
Smoke?: nope
Do drugs?: nope
Read the newspaper?: i read the comics everyday, sometimes i get into the heavier things on the weekends
Pray?: i try to
Go to church?: when i'm with my mom. i should go more.
Talk to strangers who IM you?: occasionally
Sleep with stuffed animals?: sure
Take walks in the rain?: heck yes
Talk to people even though you hate them?: i try not to hate anyone. but i think that there are a few people that i strongly dislike who have gotten the message. and no, i don't usually. but i do talk to people i dislike.
Drive?: june.
Like to drive fast?: JUNE.
Hsve you ever...
Liked your voice?: yeah
Hurt yourself?: not on purpose
Been out of the country?: yep
Eaten something that made other people sick?: i've drunk something that made other people sick...
Been in love?: i hope not
Done drugs?: nope
Gone skinny dipping?: i wish
Had a medical emergency?: yeah
Had surgery?: nope
Ran away from home?: yeah for a couple of hours
Played strip poker?: nope
Gotten beaten up?: by my brother but i go him back
Beaten someone up?: see above
Been picked on?: i suppose
Been on stage?: yeah
Slept outdoors?: heck yes
Thought about suicide?: not really
Pulled an all nighter?: almost
If yes, what is your record?: none
Gone one day without food?: yep
Talked on the phone all night?: almost
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: my brother
Slept all day?: when i had heat stroke
Killed someone?: nope
Made out with a stranger?: nope
Had sex with a stranger?: nope
Thought you're going crazy?: of course!
Kissed the same sex?: yeah
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: not as such
Been betrayed?: i'd rather not think of it that way
Had a dream that came true?: YES OMG
Broken the law?: yeeeeeeeeah
Met a famous person?: sure
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: nope
On purpose?: nope
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: errr...yes...
Stolen anything?: magazine from airplane seatback :0/
Been on radio/tv?: nope
Been in a mosh-pit?: nope
Had a nervous breakdown?: yep
Bungee jumped?: nope
Had a dream that kept coming back?: yep, or pieces of them
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?: indeed
Miracles?: yep
Astrology?: i would say no, but i would be lying just a little
Magic?: i believe in believing in magic
God?: yeah
Satan?: possibly
Santa?: who doesn't?
Ghosts?: yes
Luck?: yes
Love at first sight?: quite possibly, or at first conversation
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: yeah
Witches?: yes
Easter bunny?: not as such
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: yes
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: yes
Do you wish on stars?: yes
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: i think its a possiblity
Do you think God has a gender?: god might
Do you believe in organized religion?: yes, but not an organized system of beliefs
Where do you think we go when we die?: i believe somewhat in re-encarnation, a sort of waiting place between lives, in heavan you find out the motives of others, you can veiw what things could have been, in hell you're kept in the dark and confusing statements about reality are uttered at you
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?:um, yes
Who is your best friend?: prolly samy, emily and lauren are up there too
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: jim gentile understands the most about me, oddly enough
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: "
Thing you're picked on most about?: being me in odd ways
Who's your longest known friend?: mike
Newest?: i have no idea
Shyest?: nicole
Funniest?: andrew
Sweetest?: zach
Closest?: i don't know, all of my friends are close to me in different ways
Weirdest?: we're all pretty fucking weird
Smartest?: they're also all pretty smart
Ditziest?: me
Friends you miss being close to the most?: nadia
Last person you talked to online?: brian
Who do you talk to most online?: Samy
Who are you on the phone with most?: samy
Who do you trust most?: i have no idea
Who listens to your problems?: most of them get listened to by everyone
Who do you fight most with?: i try to avoid conflict as much as possible
Who's the nicest?: ALL of my friends are nice
Who's the most outgoing?: samy
Who's the best singer?: chloe
Who's on your shit-list?: shit list? these are my friends...
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: of course
Who's your second family?: lauren's family
Do you always feel understood?: who does?
Who's the loudest friend?: chloe(or me, we never got to finish that did we?)
Do you trust others easily?: not particularly
Who's house were you last at?: i have no idea
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: lizzie
Do your friends know you?: i have no idea
Friend that lives farthest away:: beatrice
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: no
What do you find romantic?: laying on my bed when i hear a song, a great song. did i leave my computer on? i go to the window and standing on my lawn with a boom box over his head is...
Turn-on?: eye contact
Turn-off?: an excess of empty comversation masquerading as philosophy
First kiss?: evan
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: flattered and awkward yet wanted
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going out?: yeah
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: eh
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: yes, or at least by other people's standards. generally i end up focusing on the intensity of personality. but i won't complain if someone is attractive as well. i have gotten a few "what? seriously?"s in my time...
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: no, but thats ok
What is best about the opposite sex?: i'm going with sara on heterosexism here
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: see above
What's the last present someone gave you?: piece of paper, willy gentile
Are you in love?: i hope not
Do you consider your significant other hot?: none currently
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?: what the hell?
You wanted to kill?: shapiro, but then i'm just being an asshole
That you laughed at?: my brother
That laughed at you?: my brother
That turned you on?: uh, next question please?
You went shopping with?: my brother
To disappoint you?: borders. a book store is supposed to have BOOKS.
To ask you out?: evan
To brighten up your day?: my brother
That you thought about?: sophie
You saw a movie with?: lizzie
You talked to on the phone?: my dad
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: maz
You saw?: my brother
You lost?: i dunno
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?: nope
Will it be with your significant other?: not going out
Or some random person?: not going OUT
What are you wearing right now?: two right foot socks, jeans, green under wear, bra, stoddart soccer t-shirt
Body part you're touching right now:: technacally, i'm touching all of my self...
What are you worried about right now?: getting a christmas present for my mom, failing midterms
What book are you reading?: memiors of geisha(again before i see the movie), how to be alone
What's on your mousepad?: it's tye dye
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling:: lamp, french fry, bicycling, japan, Truth
Are you bored?: a little
Are you tired?: heck yes i am
Are you talking to anyone online?: not currently
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: no
Are you lonely or content?: eh. both.
Are you listening to music?: bohemian rhapsody.
JEEBUS THAT WAS LONG.
so i did that in stages through out the day, it goes through a coupla emotions, but now life is rock. i just watched it's a wonderful life, and you know what, life is awesome. i'm talking to a stranger on the internet and thats cool. and life has SO MANY possiblities, you know? there is so much i can do. i'm not trapped, no more than anyone is. there are a few people i must track down this winter and philosophise with. you may be one of them. if so, leave a comment and we will arrange something...or you could just im me or call me or something. yes. do that.
debate was funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
that is all.