Fic: Sparkling Stars X: The Trade (1/3)
Title: Sparkling Stars X: The Trade (1/3)
Author: BradyGirl_12
Pairings/Characters: (this chapter) Lester Gruber, Harrison 'Tinker' Bell, Christy/Virgil (Christy does not appear in this chapter), Chief Urulu
Fandom: McHale's Navy
Genres: Drama, Historical
Rating (this chapter): PG-13
Warnings (this chapter): None
Spoilers: None
General Summary: To save one of their own, the crew of the PT-73 must trade something of great value, but they don't own anything of worth. Or do they?
Chapter Summary: Chief Urulu has his eye on the prettiest trinket of all in Gruber's collection.
Date Of Completion: September 24, 2022
Date Of Posting: October 7, 2022
Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em, Universal does, more’s the pity.
Word Count (this chapter): 892
Feedback welcome and appreciated.
Author's Notes: Lest you think I went a little overboard with McHale calling Virgil 'honey' (Chapter 2), it's canon, folks! Yep, said by the Skipper to Virgil in 3 Girls On An Island (1x08) (4:52). Sure, could be said to be a joking tone, though it sounded pretty matter-of-fact to me. ;) I was surprised the line made it past the censors, though maybe it didn't. When I started watching the show, it had been in syndication for years, and I'm sure even as a grade-schooler I would have remembered one guy calling another guy 'honey', joking or not. Anyway, glad to hear it! :)
The title of this story is similar to one of the two Twilight Zone episodes in which Edson Stroll (who played Virgil) guest-starred: The Trade-Ins (3x31). The other episode was Eye Of The Beholder (2x06).
The entire series can be found here.
I
HOW MUCH IS THT SLAVE IN THE WINDOW?
"How much is that slave
In the window?
He's surely in his prime.
I'd like to take him home
And have myself
A good ol' time."
Spike Smith
"How Much Is That Slave
In The Window?"
Pink Eggplant Records
1941 C.E.
The native drums were loud in the jungle. The crew of the PT-73 ran around and got Gruber's war souvenirs out for display. He had some new items to sell.
"Urulu should be here any second," Gruber said, looking over a samurai sword.
"You think he'll be interested in all this junk?" Tinker asked.
"Junk? This is quality stuff!"
Tinker rolled his eyes. "Urulu's a sharp guy, Grube. Don't underestimate him "
"I never do. I recognize a kindred spirit when I see one."
"Hey, Virg! How's Christy?" Tinker asked as the Gunner's Mate secured the gig he had used to go over to the main base.
"He's doing okay but is still sick. He's exhausted and sleeps most of the time. I'll go back later."
"Good, you can help with our sale to Urulu," said Gruber.
Virgil shook his head fondly. "Okay, Lester."
"And I have a whole new set of treasures." Gruber snapped his fingers. "Get to it, boy. You, too, Tink."
"Yes, Master," said Tinker sarcastically.
"Hey, that's my gig," said Virgil.
"To the supply hut, slaves," quipped Gruber.
Inside the supply hut, a cloth covered something in a corner. Gruber waved a hand. "Behold my new inventory." He tugged the drop cloth off.
"Wow!" said Tinker.
Virgil's eyes were wide as he and Tinker looked at Gruber's treasure trove, which consisted of glittering objects d'art: urns, pitchers, vases, statuettes, and a golden dragon-themed tea service. Jade eyes winked bin the light as the dragon curved gracefully around the large teapot.
"Where'd you get all this stuff?"
"From a buddy of mine on the U.S.S. Conestoga. He's got a contact in the Philippines, and he needed to unload this stuff. I said I'd take it."
"Is this stuff real?" asked Virgil, picking up a gold urn.
"Just gold-plated trinkets, but they look pretty, don't they?"
Virgil caressed the urn's smooth surface before putting it back. "They do. You expect the Chief to go for this stuff?"
"He likes glittery things. C'mon, hubba, hubba, let's get goin'! The jungle drums are rollin'!"
Tinker rolled his eyes. "Lucky for you the Skip's up in CommFleet."
"Well, nice, Tink. You have so much faith in me."
Tinker and Virgil laughed as they started lugging Gruber's goodies out of the supply hut.
& & & & & &
The dickering went on for an hour and Urulu and Gruber finally called for a break. Virgil went to Fuji's kitchen garden and pulled up some fresh greens. Maybe a tasty salad would help lighten Urulu's cranky mood.
Lester would say a happy Urulu is a trinket buyer.
Since high-stakes schemes were forbidden by the Skipper, trading with the tribes was Lester's main focus for his con artist energies. Virgil rubbed his back, glad of that.
Virgil put the greens into a basket and he walked around the supply hut on his way to the galley. He stopped short as he almost bumped into Urulu.
"Oh, hi, Chief."
"What you got in basket?"
"Just some good salad fixings." Virgil began to edge away. He was by now an expert in what men wanted of him.
Urulu held out a hand. His fingers were barely inches from Virgil's chest. Virgil was glad that he had buttoned up his blue uniform shirt. The chief stepped forward.
Virgil felt his back up against the wall of the supply hut. He smiled and hoped he could charm his way out of this encounter.
Urulu took his cane with the skull's head and touched it to Virgil's chest. "Gruber has big display of trinkets. Most valuable is you."
Virgil felt his stomach tighten. "Well, thanks for the compliment, Chief."
Urulu slid the cane down Virgil's chest and stomach, resting it between his legs. "I would pay plenty for you." He slid the cane back and forth.
Virgil swallowed. "Gee, Chief, you really flatter me." The massaging was producing a physical response and Urulu smiled.
"Hey, Chief!"
Urulu's eyes kept watching Virgil's face. "What you want, Gruber?"
"Just inviting you to lunch. C'mon, we've got a great appetizer already laid out." He glanced down at Virgil's groin.
"What if I ask to buy this yum-yum?"
Gruber smiled. "He is a pretty piece, Chief, but he's pretty valuable to the crew. Best gunner, y'know."
Virgil's fingers were tight around the basket handle. He spread his legs a little wider, unconsciously converting to slave mode. Urulu kept massaging.
"You not curious about value of this cutie?"
"Huh?"
"C'mon, Gruber, you operator. Wouldn't you like to know what you get on open market for Sweetcheeks here?"
Virgil could not suppress a whimper.
"Hmm." Gruber crossed one arm over his chest while his other hand rubbed his chin.
Urulu chuckled as he withdrew his cane. He brushed by Gruber. "By the way, nickname not about face cheeks."
Virgil glared at Gruber. "You wanted to know what you could get for me!"
"Well, I..."
"Lester, you, you..." Virgil stalked away.
"You're pretty mouthy for a slave!"
Virgil made a dismissive gesture and continued walking away.
Gruber looked skyward as he made a beseeching gesture. "Spare me from pouting slaves!"
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This chapter can also be read on AO3