We Never Dance Alone : Chapter Seven
Title: We Never Dance Alone
Rated: T
Genre : Drama / Angst / Friendship
Characters : Kangin , Yesung with Leeteuk.
Warning: UNBETA-ED, F-words & Co., mindless whumpage of characters, possibly inaccurate medical jargon.
Summary : Since the accident, things had been spiraling out of control. Will things get any better for the boys?
Fate must be playing some sick joke on them. That has got to be it.
It turns out, the 'little' infection that Yesung contracted wasn't anywhere near 'little' . Even with all the antibiotics, fluids and various medications flowing into his body, Yesung's fever had showed no sign of relenting. His weakened body still mercilessly plagued by the infection.
It didn't take long for the infection to take hold of Yesung's already frail condition. Leeteuk noticed that Yesung was beginning to drift off into fitful sleep more and more often, his appetite starts to diminish and his breathing doesn't sound quite right anymore.
Even with the presence of the other members flooding the room, Yesung could no longer deny his body's need to rest no matter how hard he tried to stay awake; just so he could spend the little time offered with them. It saddens him when he drifted off to sleep while everyone is around, only waking up hours later with them gone.
Leeteuk had been keeping vigil by his side most of the time though, he knows that for sure.
He knew not to expect for the other members to always be around. He took note of their busy schedules, but to see the older man spending most of his time accompanying him by his bedside, he feels ultimately grateful and guilty at the same time.
"Hyung..." Yesung called out breathlessly when he saw Leeteuk's body jolt slightly in the chair as he began to doze off.
The other man's head shot up, he abruptly straightened his body, blinking the sleep away. "Huh? What? What? Are you okay Sungie? Are you in pain? Do you need anything?" the string of questions came out automaticly . His eyes searching for any sign of distress as he leaned closer to the man lying on the bed in front of him.
Yesung chuckled lightly "No hyung... I'm fine." The word 'fine' should never be associated with Yesung's current condition. Everyone knows he is nowhere near 'fine'.
"Hmm..I just thought... that maybe it'd be good for you to go home and get some proper rest. Use your days off wisely, rather than stay here and exhaust yourself more..." he paused to catch a much needed breath. "Go out... and get some fresh air, spend time with your other friends...I don't want you ending up here in the hopsital yourself, hyung..."
Before Leeteuk had a chance to refuse, the other man continued " Please hyung... get some proper rest. I'll be fine on my own... besides... there's not much for you to do here. I'll just fall asleep on you again in the middle of our conversations. I'm in the hospital, not alone at home... so if I needed anything, there's always the nurses."
Leeteuk frowned upon hearing Yesung's words. Why does it sound more like a request to him? Why is Yesung requesting him to go away?
Which of course wasn't at all Yesung's intention. He just didn't want to be an extra burden to Leeteuk, he felt like he had burdened him enough especially since the accident happened. He could only imagine how it's effecting the leader.
"Sungie, you don't like me being here?" Leeteuk asked , no venom in his tone. Just an innocent question.
He saw the younger man shook his head lightly " It's...it's not that hyung.." He drew another long breath . "I just..." his lips quivered, as he tried to keep his emotion at bay. "I don't want to burden you, I don't want to be a burden to any of the other members...there are other things for you to take care of hyung..."
Yesung you foolish boy, of course you're not a burden to me.
"It's okay... I want to be here. "He reached out and placed a comforting hand on Yesung's hand. "I can't sit around at home when both you and Kangin are stuck here. If I were to stay home, it would only drive me up the wall." He admitted bluntly. "And I do go home and rest up when I do need to, don't worry about me." he ended with a reassuring smile.
"I-I'm sorry hyung..." His voice cracked, his chest felt extra heavy and the urge to cry suddenly enveloped him.He bit the feeling back, or at least he tried to. But tears were already pooling in his eyes, blurring his vision.
"I-I-m just s-so sick of being troublesome, I-I didn't want my mom to know so she won't be... t-troubled, but I still end up being a burden to you... I can never do anything right... always a screw up..."
Realizing the scene before him, Leeteuk got up from where he was seating and moved closer towards Yesung. He cradled the younger man's head close to him. "No Yesungie, no. You're not a burden to me, you're not a burden to anyone... don't say that... things are just hard for you right now." His own voice wavering. "It's not your fault Sungie, it's not" How could he possibly think that this was all his fault? He had risked himself to save Kangin, and now he thinks he's a screw up? Leeteuk blamed it all on the fever for messing up his mind.
By the time evening rolled in, Yesung was sleeping again, out like a light bulb; the event earlier that day had really drained his energy dry. The nurses had been in and out of the room as usual, keeping tabs of Yesung's vitals signs and fever.
Leeteuk remained by his bedside. His gaze never leaving Yesung's fevered form, staring pensively at the younger man as he sleeps. Yesung looked uncomfortable even in his sleep, his hair sodden with sweat, matted against his face. His normally slightly tanned skin is now pale and flushed with unrelenting fever and his respiration harsh and ragged.
He lost count on how many times he'd sit in the dimly lit room crying silently throughout the night thinking about the man in front of him. He truly couldn't understand why things had gotten this bad for Yesung. His condition was only getting worse. Leeteuk closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing himself to be more positive.
His thoughts were interupted by another nurse walking into the room with Yesung's dinner. She greeted him with a smile, set the tray on the table and then moved to checked on the various medication hooked up to Yesung. "Try to get some food in him, he's been skipping a lot of his meals." The nurse smiled softly before she made her way out of the room. Leeteuk nodded at that, determined to coax Yesung into eating his dinner.
Dinner time passed for Yesung with Leeteuk insisting that he'd feed him. For the most part everything went smoothly until Yesung started to throw up more than he had eaten, sending Leeteuk into a mothering mode. He pretty much dealt with the mess himself until the nurses decided to come in to clear up the mess. He watched Yesung gasp for air after the episode, sputtering and apologizing for the mess he had caused before falling into another fitful sleep.
His heart broke again and again.
The next time the tall mysterious looking doctor came in for his routine check-up on Yesung, Leeteuk had demanded to know about his friend's condition.
"What's wrong with him? He seems to be getting worse by the minute! " his voice was all business.
Just like a habit, the tall doctor let out a heavy sigh before answering. "His temperature is definitely up since this morning." He held the stethoscope against Yesung's bare chest, moving the piece from one side of his chest to the other, listening intently to the sound of his patient's heart and lungs. His face contorted with intensity, and he lets out another sigh. The doctor turned to the other man who was watching his every move like a hawk. "Leeteuk-sshi, the infection, as you already know, is doing a number on his body, along with his immune system." He paused, hating the fact that he had to add salt to the wound in this situation. " By the sound of his lungs, I suspect that he contracted pneumonia as well. I'll be running more tests just to make sure what we're up against so that we could concentrate on treating it aggressively."
The doctor's prognosis left Leeteuk speechless.
Shit. Pneumonia. Yesung surely doesn't need this on top of the infection he's fighting.
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From the day of the transplant, Kangin never stopped improving. It took four days for him to finally get over the grogginess and other after effects of the surgery. He no longer drift between consciousness, no longer depend on sedatives. The doctors had given Kangin an all clear from the possibility of organ rejection. They were positive that Kangin was indeed on his way to recovery. The doctors agreed that the newly implanted kidney indeed played a big role in saving his life.
It's hard for anyone to imagine that just a few days back, before the transplant took place, Kangin was at death's door fighting for his life.
"Wow, I can't believe that I almost kicked the bucket! Talk about weird stuff you don't see coming, huh?" he exclaimed, chewing slowly on his lunch. "I really didn't know what happened , it was like a dream...the last thing I really remembered was talking to Yesung..." He eyes lazily wandered around the room, realizing that Yesung wasn't there. Maybe he's back at the dorm. He thought begrudgingly. He had thought of asking the others regarding Yesung's whereabouts but decided against it.
His eyes scanned the smiling faces around him. No doubt that they were happy to see him up and talking, back to his usual self. But he could tell that something wasn't right. There's something about the way they lowered their eyes upon the mention of Yesung's name. Their laughter awkward, and their faces were dead giveaway that something is seriously wrong. Especially with Leeteuk's expression, something was terribly off with his smile. He's hiding something. After all, he knew Leeteuk all too well. He couldn't miss it, he knows that man is hiding something, but he just can't pinpoint it. He'd ignore it. For now.
Feeling of deep remorse suddenly crept up in his heart. "Someone died, so I can have the kidney...it doesn't seem right doesn't it?" He lamented. "Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful and all, but... isn't it sick? How the world is?" Kangin shudders at the thought, his hand unconsciously hovers above the surgical site, right where the new kidney had been implanted; he imagined who could have been his savior. "Is it possible to know who my donor was?
The room suddenly became deathly quiet. The air in the room dropped into an uncomfortable vibe. His eyes studied the crestfallen faces around him. His own face fell. The members exchanged glares, but no words came out of their mouths and their eyes were avoiding him like plague.
Leeteuk cleared his throat awkwardly, realizing that he had to be the one to tell Kangin the truth. "Uh..." He began, not entirely sure of how or where to begin."Kangin-ah...there's something that you need to know." his heart now drumming loudly in his ears.
Kangin didn't like Leeteuk's tone as it sends a wave of uneasy feeling towards him. He waited anxiously for the leader to continue.
"You had a live donor..."
Kangin stifled a laugh, and it came out awkward. "That's good then... right? I get to thank the person myself!"
"It's Yesungie..." Leeteuk forced out. The bomb had finally been dropped.
He blinked in confusion at first, not able to process the new piece of information. "What? That Sonuva...!" he grounded suddenly "Where is he? Let me kick his fucking ass for doing something stupid as this!"
The look on Leeteuk's face only grew gloomier. He was clearly biting back the emotions that were threatening to spill.
"Teuk hyung?"
"Sungie... he's not... not doing too good right now Youngwoon-ah..."
"W-what d-do you mean he's not doing too good? He was fine the last time I s-saw him!" anguish obvious on his features, hot moisture building up behind his eyelids.
Leeteuk couldn't bring himself to face Kangin. "After the surgery, he developed an infection... and it's only been getting worse."
He felt his heart practically drop into his stomach, cold fear running though his veins "No, no! It can't be!" He shook his in denial not wanting to believe a single word of it. "Let me see him!" Kangin tried to get off the bed only to be stopped by Siwon and Hankyung's strong hands.
"Hyung! Calm down! you're going to hurt yourself!" Siwon said in clenched teeth.
A rush of adrenaline surged through his vein. "Teuk hyung! Let me see Jongwoon! Let me see him!" He ground out, his tone sounded more like an order.
Leeteuk could no longer keep his emotions at bay. "Stop it Youngwoon! Calm down... please..." the older man implored . "I know you want to see him, but it's not gonna help if you hurt yourself in the process. You might end up back on the bed. I... I don't think I can handle watching that happen again..." Leeteuk admitted. " So just please... calm yourself down, I'll take you to him. I promise."
Kangin flopped himself back against the pillow and let out a frustrated sigh.
"You're still not well enough to be walking around, you're going to need a wheelchair."
"Fine! Wheelchairs are fun anyways!" Kangin replied impatiently. He didn't care if he had to crawl there, at that moment he only cared about seeing Yesung.
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Just moments ago, Kangin was about ready to punch anyone's face inside out if they tried to stop him from seeing Yesung. But now that he's infront of Yesung's room, he felt utterly nervous, not knowing what to expect.
He couldn't help but take in a quick gasp of shock as he was wheeled into Yesung's room. The sight of his friend left him in a state of disbelief. His stomach was already doing somersaults. he could feel acidic bile rising in his throat. Words failed him as he took in the sight before him. This should never have happened.
"Oh my god... Jongwoon... SHIT! Jongwoon! What did you get yourself into.." he wheeled himself closer towards the bed where his friend lay unmoving.
"They probably had him sedated, he's battling pneumonia on top of the infection he developed. It's probably best that he's sedated... " Leeteuk swallowed thickly. He couldn't come up with any comforting words.
Kangin heard the other man, but he had no intention to shift his attention away from Yesung. "Sungie-ah..."he ruffled Yesung's sweat laden hair lightly, feeling the need to make physical contact with him. He flinched and frowned at the heat radiating Yesung's body.
"Sungie... you gotta wake up soon okay? I promise I'll hold off kicking your sorry ass at least until you get better." He said light-heartedly. The only reply he received is the sound of Yesung's stuttering breaths as his chest struggles to pull in air even with the nasal canula on, hissing oxygen for him.
By then he didn't even bother to hide his wavering voice. Guilt was eating at him at full force, he knew he had caused this. If anything ever happens to Yesung...
Kangin scrubbed his face tiredly. "Hyung...how could I let this happen to him hyung? He's not supposed to be in this position..."
Leeteuk had no answer for that. His own brain is in a bloody mess. He could barely think straight himself.
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That night Yesung opened his eye blearily, his head was pounding and his mouth felt dry and pasty. He turned his head towards the two vaguely outlined figures sitting across the room, but he couldn't see past the blur in his eyes. He was sure that one of them was Leeteuk. But who could the other person be?
It took awhile until his surrounding came into focus.
Y-y-young-woon? Yesung's voice was a mere whisper, but it was enough to gain attention from the two people that was sitting across the room. Within seconds, the both of them were already hovering above him.
"Jongwoon.." Kangin could barely contain the excitement in his voice. "Hey, finally you're awake from your beauty sleep! How are you Sungie-ah!"
"I'm f-fine, just feeling hot, and I-I have a headache the s-size of J-jupiter." he answered quietly. stumbling upon his words. Yesung noticed that Leeteuk was standing behind Kangin, but the older man didn't say anything.
Kangin couldn't help but frown a little at how haggard Yesung looked. He placed a hand on Yesung's forehead only to grimace at the heat emanating off him. His temperature had definitely gone higher since he last checked. "You're definitely hot Sungie-ah" He then turned to Leeteuk. "Hyung... maybe you should get the nurse, ask for something to lower his fever." Without further discussion, Leeteuk nodded and made his way towards the nurse station.
With Leeteuk gone, Kangin turned his attention back to Yesung. "So... you know right? that you're going to get your ass kicked?" he asked playfully, trying to hide his real emotion.
"I-if... if it would s-save your butt... t-then w-why not." he tried his best to sound normal, but the ceiling was starting to swim above him and the pressure in his chest just kept on building. "I-I'm just happy that... you're okay n-now." he forced out.
But you're not okay Jongwoon! His mind screamed at him, and he felt the need to scream the same words at Yesung. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to keep his anger checked. It wouldn't be good if he explode at Yesung right now.
Kangin was about to open his mouth again when he saw Yesung's eyes rolled back into his head and his body began to convulse.
Panic skyrocketed, his eyes now wide with terror. "Sungie!" He tried to hold Yesung gently in place as his body continued to convulse. Suddenly he was gently moved away from Yesung's bed side. A nurse and doctor took his place, working feverishly around Yesung.
It felt like an eternity, but the doctor and the nurse seems to be finally done doing what they were supposed to do to stop the seizure that enveloped Yesung's body a few moments ago. Leeteuk and Kangin both let out a breath that they didn't know they've been holding. Yesung was settled back in his position, eyes closed and puffy, his body free of convulsions. An oxygen mask now secured his drawn face to help with his breathing difficulties. The doctor was still standing by the bed, assessing his patient.
The two men were quick on their heels as they approached the doctor to seek answers regarding what had happened to Yesung earlier. Leeteuk took notice that it wasn't Yesung's usual doctor that came in to the rescue tonight.
"What the hell happened to him just then?!" To hell with composure. Kangin just needed answers.
The doctor didn't flinch at Kangin's threatening tone."He suffered a febrile seizure, mainly caused by the high fever. We've got that covered, and now he's resting." The doctor's voice void of emotion.
"We’re possibly looking at septic shock," the doctor said almost casually, moving the stethoscope one last time, listening to Yesung's lungs. "We can try another another line of medication, but if Yesung-sshi's body doesn’t respond, there’s not much more we can do for him." The doctor's words were harsh, he didn't even bother to leave any encouraging words.
Now the reality of the situation was setting in, Leeteuk couldn’t think coherently.
Not much we can do for him.
Not much we can do for him.
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So far, this is the hardest chapter! I spent so many times starting this chapter over. But in the end, this is all I can come up with. Not much action, just lots of TL:DR angst .I'm disappointed with myself, yes.=[ One chapter left! I hope it won't be as hard to write as this one. My brain is officially fried on this one.
Stay safe darlings! <3
Rated: T
Genre : Drama / Angst / Friendship
Characters : Kangin , Yesung with Leeteuk.
Warning: UNBETA-ED, F-words & Co., mindless whumpage of characters, possibly inaccurate medical jargon.
Summary : Since the accident, things had been spiraling out of control. Will things get any better for the boys?
Fate must be playing some sick joke on them. That has got to be it.
It turns out, the 'little' infection that Yesung contracted wasn't anywhere near 'little' . Even with all the antibiotics, fluids and various medications flowing into his body, Yesung's fever had showed no sign of relenting. His weakened body still mercilessly plagued by the infection.
It didn't take long for the infection to take hold of Yesung's already frail condition. Leeteuk noticed that Yesung was beginning to drift off into fitful sleep more and more often, his appetite starts to diminish and his breathing doesn't sound quite right anymore.
Even with the presence of the other members flooding the room, Yesung could no longer deny his body's need to rest no matter how hard he tried to stay awake; just so he could spend the little time offered with them. It saddens him when he drifted off to sleep while everyone is around, only waking up hours later with them gone.
Leeteuk had been keeping vigil by his side most of the time though, he knows that for sure.
He knew not to expect for the other members to always be around. He took note of their busy schedules, but to see the older man spending most of his time accompanying him by his bedside, he feels ultimately grateful and guilty at the same time.
"Hyung..." Yesung called out breathlessly when he saw Leeteuk's body jolt slightly in the chair as he began to doze off.
The other man's head shot up, he abruptly straightened his body, blinking the sleep away. "Huh? What? What? Are you okay Sungie? Are you in pain? Do you need anything?" the string of questions came out automaticly . His eyes searching for any sign of distress as he leaned closer to the man lying on the bed in front of him.
Yesung chuckled lightly "No hyung... I'm fine." The word 'fine' should never be associated with Yesung's current condition. Everyone knows he is nowhere near 'fine'.
"Hmm..I just thought... that maybe it'd be good for you to go home and get some proper rest. Use your days off wisely, rather than stay here and exhaust yourself more..." he paused to catch a much needed breath. "Go out... and get some fresh air, spend time with your other friends...I don't want you ending up here in the hopsital yourself, hyung..."
Before Leeteuk had a chance to refuse, the other man continued " Please hyung... get some proper rest. I'll be fine on my own... besides... there's not much for you to do here. I'll just fall asleep on you again in the middle of our conversations. I'm in the hospital, not alone at home... so if I needed anything, there's always the nurses."
Leeteuk frowned upon hearing Yesung's words. Why does it sound more like a request to him? Why is Yesung requesting him to go away?
Which of course wasn't at all Yesung's intention. He just didn't want to be an extra burden to Leeteuk, he felt like he had burdened him enough especially since the accident happened. He could only imagine how it's effecting the leader.
"Sungie, you don't like me being here?" Leeteuk asked , no venom in his tone. Just an innocent question.
He saw the younger man shook his head lightly " It's...it's not that hyung.." He drew another long breath . "I just..." his lips quivered, as he tried to keep his emotion at bay. "I don't want to burden you, I don't want to be a burden to any of the other members...there are other things for you to take care of hyung..."
Yesung you foolish boy, of course you're not a burden to me.
"It's okay... I want to be here. "He reached out and placed a comforting hand on Yesung's hand. "I can't sit around at home when both you and Kangin are stuck here. If I were to stay home, it would only drive me up the wall." He admitted bluntly. "And I do go home and rest up when I do need to, don't worry about me." he ended with a reassuring smile.
"I-I'm sorry hyung..." His voice cracked, his chest felt extra heavy and the urge to cry suddenly enveloped him.He bit the feeling back, or at least he tried to. But tears were already pooling in his eyes, blurring his vision.
"I-I-m just s-so sick of being troublesome, I-I didn't want my mom to know so she won't be... t-troubled, but I still end up being a burden to you... I can never do anything right... always a screw up..."
Realizing the scene before him, Leeteuk got up from where he was seating and moved closer towards Yesung. He cradled the younger man's head close to him. "No Yesungie, no. You're not a burden to me, you're not a burden to anyone... don't say that... things are just hard for you right now." His own voice wavering. "It's not your fault Sungie, it's not" How could he possibly think that this was all his fault? He had risked himself to save Kangin, and now he thinks he's a screw up? Leeteuk blamed it all on the fever for messing up his mind.
By the time evening rolled in, Yesung was sleeping again, out like a light bulb; the event earlier that day had really drained his energy dry. The nurses had been in and out of the room as usual, keeping tabs of Yesung's vitals signs and fever.
Leeteuk remained by his bedside. His gaze never leaving Yesung's fevered form, staring pensively at the younger man as he sleeps. Yesung looked uncomfortable even in his sleep, his hair sodden with sweat, matted against his face. His normally slightly tanned skin is now pale and flushed with unrelenting fever and his respiration harsh and ragged.
He lost count on how many times he'd sit in the dimly lit room crying silently throughout the night thinking about the man in front of him. He truly couldn't understand why things had gotten this bad for Yesung. His condition was only getting worse. Leeteuk closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing himself to be more positive.
His thoughts were interupted by another nurse walking into the room with Yesung's dinner. She greeted him with a smile, set the tray on the table and then moved to checked on the various medication hooked up to Yesung. "Try to get some food in him, he's been skipping a lot of his meals." The nurse smiled softly before she made her way out of the room. Leeteuk nodded at that, determined to coax Yesung into eating his dinner.
Dinner time passed for Yesung with Leeteuk insisting that he'd feed him. For the most part everything went smoothly until Yesung started to throw up more than he had eaten, sending Leeteuk into a mothering mode. He pretty much dealt with the mess himself until the nurses decided to come in to clear up the mess. He watched Yesung gasp for air after the episode, sputtering and apologizing for the mess he had caused before falling into another fitful sleep.
His heart broke again and again.
The next time the tall mysterious looking doctor came in for his routine check-up on Yesung, Leeteuk had demanded to know about his friend's condition.
"What's wrong with him? He seems to be getting worse by the minute! " his voice was all business.
Just like a habit, the tall doctor let out a heavy sigh before answering. "His temperature is definitely up since this morning." He held the stethoscope against Yesung's bare chest, moving the piece from one side of his chest to the other, listening intently to the sound of his patient's heart and lungs. His face contorted with intensity, and he lets out another sigh. The doctor turned to the other man who was watching his every move like a hawk. "Leeteuk-sshi, the infection, as you already know, is doing a number on his body, along with his immune system." He paused, hating the fact that he had to add salt to the wound in this situation. " By the sound of his lungs, I suspect that he contracted pneumonia as well. I'll be running more tests just to make sure what we're up against so that we could concentrate on treating it aggressively."
The doctor's prognosis left Leeteuk speechless.
Shit. Pneumonia. Yesung surely doesn't need this on top of the infection he's fighting.
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From the day of the transplant, Kangin never stopped improving. It took four days for him to finally get over the grogginess and other after effects of the surgery. He no longer drift between consciousness, no longer depend on sedatives. The doctors had given Kangin an all clear from the possibility of organ rejection. They were positive that Kangin was indeed on his way to recovery. The doctors agreed that the newly implanted kidney indeed played a big role in saving his life.
It's hard for anyone to imagine that just a few days back, before the transplant took place, Kangin was at death's door fighting for his life.
"Wow, I can't believe that I almost kicked the bucket! Talk about weird stuff you don't see coming, huh?" he exclaimed, chewing slowly on his lunch. "I really didn't know what happened , it was like a dream...the last thing I really remembered was talking to Yesung..." He eyes lazily wandered around the room, realizing that Yesung wasn't there. Maybe he's back at the dorm. He thought begrudgingly. He had thought of asking the others regarding Yesung's whereabouts but decided against it.
His eyes scanned the smiling faces around him. No doubt that they were happy to see him up and talking, back to his usual self. But he could tell that something wasn't right. There's something about the way they lowered their eyes upon the mention of Yesung's name. Their laughter awkward, and their faces were dead giveaway that something is seriously wrong. Especially with Leeteuk's expression, something was terribly off with his smile. He's hiding something. After all, he knew Leeteuk all too well. He couldn't miss it, he knows that man is hiding something, but he just can't pinpoint it. He'd ignore it. For now.
Feeling of deep remorse suddenly crept up in his heart. "Someone died, so I can have the kidney...it doesn't seem right doesn't it?" He lamented. "Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful and all, but... isn't it sick? How the world is?" Kangin shudders at the thought, his hand unconsciously hovers above the surgical site, right where the new kidney had been implanted; he imagined who could have been his savior. "Is it possible to know who my donor was?
The room suddenly became deathly quiet. The air in the room dropped into an uncomfortable vibe. His eyes studied the crestfallen faces around him. His own face fell. The members exchanged glares, but no words came out of their mouths and their eyes were avoiding him like plague.
Leeteuk cleared his throat awkwardly, realizing that he had to be the one to tell Kangin the truth. "Uh..." He began, not entirely sure of how or where to begin."Kangin-ah...there's something that you need to know." his heart now drumming loudly in his ears.
Kangin didn't like Leeteuk's tone as it sends a wave of uneasy feeling towards him. He waited anxiously for the leader to continue.
"You had a live donor..."
Kangin stifled a laugh, and it came out awkward. "That's good then... right? I get to thank the person myself!"
"It's Yesungie..." Leeteuk forced out. The bomb had finally been dropped.
He blinked in confusion at first, not able to process the new piece of information. "What? That Sonuva...!" he grounded suddenly "Where is he? Let me kick his fucking ass for doing something stupid as this!"
The look on Leeteuk's face only grew gloomier. He was clearly biting back the emotions that were threatening to spill.
"Teuk hyung?"
"Sungie... he's not... not doing too good right now Youngwoon-ah..."
"W-what d-do you mean he's not doing too good? He was fine the last time I s-saw him!" anguish obvious on his features, hot moisture building up behind his eyelids.
Leeteuk couldn't bring himself to face Kangin. "After the surgery, he developed an infection... and it's only been getting worse."
He felt his heart practically drop into his stomach, cold fear running though his veins "No, no! It can't be!" He shook his in denial not wanting to believe a single word of it. "Let me see him!" Kangin tried to get off the bed only to be stopped by Siwon and Hankyung's strong hands.
"Hyung! Calm down! you're going to hurt yourself!" Siwon said in clenched teeth.
A rush of adrenaline surged through his vein. "Teuk hyung! Let me see Jongwoon! Let me see him!" He ground out, his tone sounded more like an order.
Leeteuk could no longer keep his emotions at bay. "Stop it Youngwoon! Calm down... please..." the older man implored . "I know you want to see him, but it's not gonna help if you hurt yourself in the process. You might end up back on the bed. I... I don't think I can handle watching that happen again..." Leeteuk admitted. " So just please... calm yourself down, I'll take you to him. I promise."
Kangin flopped himself back against the pillow and let out a frustrated sigh.
"You're still not well enough to be walking around, you're going to need a wheelchair."
"Fine! Wheelchairs are fun anyways!" Kangin replied impatiently. He didn't care if he had to crawl there, at that moment he only cared about seeing Yesung.
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Just moments ago, Kangin was about ready to punch anyone's face inside out if they tried to stop him from seeing Yesung. But now that he's infront of Yesung's room, he felt utterly nervous, not knowing what to expect.
He couldn't help but take in a quick gasp of shock as he was wheeled into Yesung's room. The sight of his friend left him in a state of disbelief. His stomach was already doing somersaults. he could feel acidic bile rising in his throat. Words failed him as he took in the sight before him. This should never have happened.
"Oh my god... Jongwoon... SHIT! Jongwoon! What did you get yourself into.." he wheeled himself closer towards the bed where his friend lay unmoving.
"They probably had him sedated, he's battling pneumonia on top of the infection he developed. It's probably best that he's sedated... " Leeteuk swallowed thickly. He couldn't come up with any comforting words.
Kangin heard the other man, but he had no intention to shift his attention away from Yesung. "Sungie-ah..."he ruffled Yesung's sweat laden hair lightly, feeling the need to make physical contact with him. He flinched and frowned at the heat radiating Yesung's body.
"Sungie... you gotta wake up soon okay? I promise I'll hold off kicking your sorry ass at least until you get better." He said light-heartedly. The only reply he received is the sound of Yesung's stuttering breaths as his chest struggles to pull in air even with the nasal canula on, hissing oxygen for him.
By then he didn't even bother to hide his wavering voice. Guilt was eating at him at full force, he knew he had caused this. If anything ever happens to Yesung...
Kangin scrubbed his face tiredly. "Hyung...how could I let this happen to him hyung? He's not supposed to be in this position..."
Leeteuk had no answer for that. His own brain is in a bloody mess. He could barely think straight himself.
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That night Yesung opened his eye blearily, his head was pounding and his mouth felt dry and pasty. He turned his head towards the two vaguely outlined figures sitting across the room, but he couldn't see past the blur in his eyes. He was sure that one of them was Leeteuk. But who could the other person be?
It took awhile until his surrounding came into focus.
Y-y-young-woon? Yesung's voice was a mere whisper, but it was enough to gain attention from the two people that was sitting across the room. Within seconds, the both of them were already hovering above him.
"Jongwoon.." Kangin could barely contain the excitement in his voice. "Hey, finally you're awake from your beauty sleep! How are you Sungie-ah!"
"I'm f-fine, just feeling hot, and I-I have a headache the s-size of J-jupiter." he answered quietly. stumbling upon his words. Yesung noticed that Leeteuk was standing behind Kangin, but the older man didn't say anything.
Kangin couldn't help but frown a little at how haggard Yesung looked. He placed a hand on Yesung's forehead only to grimace at the heat emanating off him. His temperature had definitely gone higher since he last checked. "You're definitely hot Sungie-ah" He then turned to Leeteuk. "Hyung... maybe you should get the nurse, ask for something to lower his fever." Without further discussion, Leeteuk nodded and made his way towards the nurse station.
With Leeteuk gone, Kangin turned his attention back to Yesung. "So... you know right? that you're going to get your ass kicked?" he asked playfully, trying to hide his real emotion.
"I-if... if it would s-save your butt... t-then w-why not." he tried his best to sound normal, but the ceiling was starting to swim above him and the pressure in his chest just kept on building. "I-I'm just happy that... you're okay n-now." he forced out.
But you're not okay Jongwoon! His mind screamed at him, and he felt the need to scream the same words at Yesung. He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to keep his anger checked. It wouldn't be good if he explode at Yesung right now.
Kangin was about to open his mouth again when he saw Yesung's eyes rolled back into his head and his body began to convulse.
Panic skyrocketed, his eyes now wide with terror. "Sungie!" He tried to hold Yesung gently in place as his body continued to convulse. Suddenly he was gently moved away from Yesung's bed side. A nurse and doctor took his place, working feverishly around Yesung.
It felt like an eternity, but the doctor and the nurse seems to be finally done doing what they were supposed to do to stop the seizure that enveloped Yesung's body a few moments ago. Leeteuk and Kangin both let out a breath that they didn't know they've been holding. Yesung was settled back in his position, eyes closed and puffy, his body free of convulsions. An oxygen mask now secured his drawn face to help with his breathing difficulties. The doctor was still standing by the bed, assessing his patient.
The two men were quick on their heels as they approached the doctor to seek answers regarding what had happened to Yesung earlier. Leeteuk took notice that it wasn't Yesung's usual doctor that came in to the rescue tonight.
"What the hell happened to him just then?!" To hell with composure. Kangin just needed answers.
The doctor didn't flinch at Kangin's threatening tone."He suffered a febrile seizure, mainly caused by the high fever. We've got that covered, and now he's resting." The doctor's voice void of emotion.
"We’re possibly looking at septic shock," the doctor said almost casually, moving the stethoscope one last time, listening to Yesung's lungs. "We can try another another line of medication, but if Yesung-sshi's body doesn’t respond, there’s not much more we can do for him." The doctor's words were harsh, he didn't even bother to leave any encouraging words.
Now the reality of the situation was setting in, Leeteuk couldn’t think coherently.
Not much we can do for him.
Not much we can do for him.
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So far, this is the hardest chapter! I spent so many times starting this chapter over. But in the end, this is all I can come up with. Not much action, just lots of TL:DR angst .I'm disappointed with myself, yes.=[ One chapter left! I hope it won't be as hard to write as this one. My brain is officially fried on this one.
Stay safe darlings! <3