So ... life sucks. I finally went to the vet last week and, as I dreaded, my kitty might not be alive for much longer. He has an enlarged heart which is filling his lungs with fluid. They wanted to do blood tests, urinalysis, drain the fluid, give him oxygen, and test all this stuff. It would seriously cost over $700. Are you freaking kidding me?!
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But, in a way, that's just it; you've had him for so long.
You know that if that cat was in anyone elses hands, he wouldn't have lasted half as long. I haven't even met him, but from the stories and fond memories you've told me about, i think i know enough :)
He's lived a great life. Better than most cats, especially most cats with his condition.
Do what you can, but that's all you can do.
Don't beat yourself up.
No matter what happens, you were, and are, and incredible friend to him.
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