Love Lessons (Part Sixteen)
Emily was peeling and chopping, preparing the meal like everything was normal, like her head didn’t feel like it was about explode. It was all about appearances, the appearance of normality that would mean Naomi wouldn’t suspect a thing. Emily was so preoccupied with the facade that she lost concentration, catching the knife on the edge of her thumb, Emily yelped out in pain rushing to the sink to wash it under the tap.
“Is everything alright hon?” Gina asked, moving into the kitchen the second she had heard Emily’s cry. Spotting what Emily had done, Gina rushed over to the sink, rinsing the blood away before pressing a clean tea towel against the cut to stem the bleeding.
“I’m a clumsy idiot.” Emily muttered, not able to meet Gina’s eye, tears stinging in her own it felt silly to be getting upset over a cut when Gina had something so much bigger to worry about.
“I’m sorry.” Gina sighed looking at the girl in front of her, realising how much she’d put on her. “I shouldn’t have said anything Emily, I can see you’re struggling.”
“I just don’t understand how you can keep this from Naomi, she loves you, she worships the ground you walk on, even if she won’t ever admit it. Naomi would support you, she’d be able to help.” Emily blurted out, unable to contain her confusion any longer. Flinching as Gina applied pressure to the cut, who kept one hand clutched around the tea towel as the other flailed around reaching for plasters.
“You know Naomi, you know she’s a worrier, that she’s got all kind of issues with trusting people and loving them. I’ve been the only constant in her life, and even I've screwed up more times than I'd care to admit. If I tell her she’ll lose it, you know it and I know it. So I want to keep it quiet, just for now Emily, just until I know for sure.” Gina explained, smiling as she removed the tea towel, pressing a plaster to the cut, lingering, she kept hold of Emily’s hand, her eyes pleading with Emily to support her.
“Okay, for now. If we get the news though and it’s bad, we tell Naomi straight away.” Emily insisted, a determined look on her face that told Gina she wouldn’t shift on this detail.
“We?” Gina asked, raising an eyebrow at the determined red head in front of her.
“You’ve involved me, now you’ve got to put up with me. I’ll go with you to the doctors when you get your results, you’ll need someone there.” Emily explained, not giving Gina any opportunity to argue, she moved back to the vegetables, discarding the blood splattered carrot piece, before continuing with the preparation.
Gina sighed, smiling at Emily, grateful that her daughter had chosen someone as amazing as Emily. Moving over to Emily, Gina placed a kiss on Emily’s cheek, thanking her for the support.
“I’m just going to grab a quick shower love.” Gina smiled, eager to get under the hot water, to wash away her problems.
“I’m making enough for three!” Emily called as Gina walked away, Naomi would probably complain about the inclusion of her mother in their romantic dinner, but Emily was determined to look after Gina.
**
JJ hadn’t really known where to go after Katie had made him leave, he was torn between a determination to go back and beg her to let him in, and the hope that if he left maybe Katie would realise how much she missed him, and how much she needed him. Deciding that leaving was the best option, JJ still couldn’t face going home, facing a barrage of questions from his mother as to where he has spent the night. Instead JJ found himself walking in the direction of Cook’s college accommodation, hoping maybe his friend could make sense of the complications JJ just couldn’t figure out.
Slinking up the stairs, JJ paused remembering a shamefaced Pandora rushing past him the last time he’d come to visit Cook. He’d avoided the place since then, their friendship hadn’t been quite the same since everything had started to fall apart, since Effy had worked her way inside the minds of the three musketeers, breaking them apart. Making them doubt their friendship, making them lose the trust and faith that had existed in them since they were five years old in grey shorts and pulled up socks, running around on the playground. Little Freddie and Cook instant best friends, who found shy little Jonah sitting on his own on a bench, Airfix airplane in his hand. Cook had asked to see the plane, had accidently broke it within five-seconds, Jonah had cried and run off leaving a guilty looking Cook behind. The next day Cook had presented Jonah with a brand new plane, one which he had spent all his pocket money buying, and the entire night constructing, it was nowhere near as perfect as the original, but the effort was appreciated and a friendship was formed.
It was remembering things like this that helped JJ understand that no matter what, they would always have this bond. It was why JJ always forgave Cook, why he always went back to him for support and advice, it was why the Supermarine Spitfire sat pride of place amongst JJ’s other models, even though the quality and craftsmanship was way below the standard of the others.
Knocking on the door, JJ waited patiently for Cook to answer and let him inside. The second Cook spotted JJ, he exploded into a wide grin, ushering JJ inside. JJ paused the minute he stepped into the room, taking in the fact that it was inexplicably clean, the bed made, his clothes hung up, it didn’t even have that funny smell that JJ had just about gotten used to.
“Jay-bizzle!! How are you my gorgeous boy?” Cook exclaimed, wrapping an arm around his best mate, pulling him in close. JJ couldn’t help but notice that Cook actually smelt clean, he was even wearing aftershave, and his clothes had that undeniable smell of fabric softener.
“This room is very tidy Cook, I'm ever so slightly confused. Are the college doing inspections or something?” JJ asked, it being the only possible explanation for why there wouldn’t be mouldy Pot Noodle cartons spread across the desk.
“Na mate, college don’t bother with shit like that. It’s for Ruby mate, she didn’t like the smell...Or the dirt...Or the mould.” Cook laughed, polishing his TV whilst JJ stood mouth agape at this new domesticated Cook.
“Cook this is ever so slightly weird, I didn’t think you changed for girls? I thought that girls were ‘only good for a quick shag, blowie or handjob’ or did I mishear?” JJ asked, repeating Cook’s past words back to him, blushing slightly at the vulgarity of them.
“Mate, though all those things are good, and trust me Ruby is fucking good at them, I want a girl yeah. I don’t want to screw it up, I don’t want to lose her.” Cook explained, shrugging as if what he was saying wasn’t the strangest thing JJ had ever heard come out of Cook’s mouth.
“You’re worried she likes Naomi, you’re worried the same thing will happen as with Effy.” JJ suggested, growling as Cook smacked him in the arm.
“Shut the fuck up mate yeah? Naomi’s with Emily, Ruby’s with me. Nothing is going to change that.” Cook insisted, feeling instantly guilty for hitting JJ, rubbing his friends arm before sighing and flopping down on his bed. It still smelt like Ruby from where she’d slept the night before, it drove him insane and he hated how it made him feel.
“Sorry Cook, it’s just, well Katie is a little worried, she doesn’t want Emily getting hurt.” JJ explained, sitting himself down on Cook’s desk chair.
“Wondered how long it would take for you to mention Katiekins, how the hell did you manage to land that one? Shagged her yet? Freddie reckons she goes like the clappers!” Cook grinned manically, winking at an unimpressed looking JJ.
“Cook please don’t talk like that about her, it’s not nice and it’s not respectful. She’s my girlfriend, she’s been treated like crap by guys in the past, and that includes Freddie.” JJ warned, a determined glint in his eyes that warned Cook continuing would be a bad idea.
“Fuck dude, you’ve got it bad haven’t you?” Cook smiled, surprised by just how fast JJ and Katie’s relationship had grown, happy that he was happy.
“Yeah... I have.” JJ admitted with blush, fiddling with his phone, wondering if he should call Katie and see how she was doing.
“Treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen.” Cook nodded, reaching and grabbing the phone out of JJ’s hands. Patting the end of the bed, beckoning for JJ to come and join him, JJ plonked himself on the bed, leaning against the wall, Cook’s legs on top of him, the two sat in a comfortable silence, both wallowing in relationship troubles.
**
Naomi rubbed her hands together desperately trying to create some warmth, Emily was right about these fucking things, it was hypothermia central. Spotting a bare pair of legs was what caught Naomi’s attention first, she was about to exclaim something about how the owner of said legs must be crazy, when she realised they were attached to Effy.
“Ever heard of trousers?” Naomi scoffed, taking in the entirety of Effy T-shirt dress with a roll of her eyes.
“I’m such a naturally warm person I don’t need layers.” Effy laughed, watching as Naomi removed her coat, pulled off her hoody and chucked it at her, before putting the coat back on. Effy smiled, tugging the hoody on, immediately grateful of the warmth.
“What the fuck are you doing here anyway?” Naomi asked, linking her arm through Effy’s as the two walked over to where the rest of the protesters were standing.
“Bored, read about this in some leaflet that got pushed through out door, figured you’d be here. Where’s Ems?” Effy asked, short emotionless sentences that were so characteristically Effy. The two girls huddled together for warmth, Effy jumping slightly as Naomi started shouting, joining in the chanting of the rest of the protesters.
“Sorry I get a bit carried away.” Naomi blushed, noticing how shocked Effy was by her outburst of determination for a cause. “Ems is preparing a surprise for me.”
“A sexy surprise?” Effy smiled, raising her eyebrows before winking at her friend.
“We’re not... We’re kind of... Well, we’re abstaining from sex at the moment.” Naomi muttered, blushing at the look of surprise on Effy’s face.
“Fucking hell what’s wrong? Crabs?” Effy teased, nudging Naomi, before yelling out one of the protest lines with a cheeky grin, taking Naomi by surprise.
“You’re disgusting you know?” Naomi sighed, turning her attention to the large collective of police officers who’d arrived, immediately shooing the protesters away. Within seconds someone had thrown a punch and a massive brawl broke out. Effy giggling with joy, Naomi couldn’t help but laugh at the childish excitement exuding from her friend. Delivering a swift kick to a police officer, Effy realised she’d perhaps got a little too caught up in the excitement. Naomi met Effy’s eyes. “Time to run?”
“Unless you fancy getting carted off by the boys in blue I’d say yes!” Effy squealed, grabbing hold of Naomi’s hand the two ran as fast as their legs could possibly carry them, not stopping until they were as far away from the protest site as possible.
“Fucking hell, it’s always an adventure with you isn’t it?” Naomi panted, resting her hands on her thighs as she tried to catch her breath. Effy slumped down against the wall next to her.
“What can I say, I have a violent nature.” Effy shrugged, digging in Naomi’s bag for a cigarette, lighting it up and taking a long drag.
“Help yourself.” Naomi muttered, slumping down next to Effy. Leaning her head on Effy’s shoulder.
“You alright there?” Effy asked, offering up the cigarette to Naomi who shook her head, Effy flicked it away, turning her attention back to Naomi. “Is this about the no sex? I’m sure if you asked Emily nicely she’d happily jump you, I’ve seen her horny look, that girl wants you bad on a near permanent basis.”
“It’s not that, me and Emily are fine, the no sex is good for us. We’re talking more you know? Kissing more, holding hands more, I like it. Plus when we do give in, it will be fucking good.” Naomi laughed, grinning manically at the thought.
“Emily has skills then?” Effy asked, raising her eyebrows suggestively, noticing the lustful look that had taken over Naomi.
“Emily’s a perfectionist at all things in life.” Naomi replied, with a smug smile, her body tingling slightly at the thought, considering maybe breaking the no sex rule tonight, especially if Emily’s romantic surprise was good.
Effy rolled her eyes, about to reply with some dirty comment, stopping when she looked up to see Freddie walking past, he paused slightly, looking slightly disheveled, as if he hadn’t slept. Opening his mouth as if he was about to say something, he quickly turned and walked away.
“What’s happening there?” Naomi asked, placing her hand on Effy’s shoulder, encouraging her to talk. Effy shook her head and leaned back, not wanting to speak, but unable to avoid Naomi’s detemined glare.
“I don’t want him.” Effy replied simply, her stomach churning at the realisation, hating her heart for playing games with her, for messing her up and for causing all the problems from the past year. She was such a twisted mess, always hurting people, but she couldn’t look at Freddie without being reminded of what she did to Katie. That guilt had destroyed the feelings she’d had for him, Freddie was just another person suffering from her actions.
“He looks broken.” Naomi pointed out, biting her lip, she knew Effy didn’t need a lecture right now, but what was the point of friends if they couldn’t tell you a few home truths from time to time.
“I know.” Effy gulped, shaking her head.
“Come on trouble, I’ll walk you home, I’ve got a horny girlfriend waiting for me remember?” Naomi smiled, standing up and reaching out her hand for Effy to grab onto. Pulling her friend up the two girls walked back to Effy’s, mostly in silence, each grateful for the company of the other.
**
Katie hovered on JJ’s doorstep, she couldn’t quite believe she was here, couldn’t believe she’d left the house but it had seemed like a good idea at the time. She’d quickly realised it wasn’t the smartest plan in the world, especially as she’d jumped about a foot in the air at every single sound. She’d almost turned around three times, but she needed to sort things out. Only problem was now she was here, she couldn’t quite muster up to courage to knock on the door.
“Wishing it open won’t work, you actually need to knock.” JJ smiled, wandering up the path behind Katie having returned from Cook’s. The shock of JJ’s voice scared the life out of Katie, she turned around and swiftly threw a punch at JJ’s chest.
“Fucking idiot! Scared the shit out of me you fucking stupid idiot.” Katie snapped, tears springing to her eyes, someone coming up behind her and scaring her was a little too similar to the attack.
JJ immediately realised how stupid he’d been, quickly pulling Katie in tightly, she wrapped her arms around JJ letting out a little sob into his chest. Stroking Katie’s hair, he let her pull away slightly so he could wipe the tears away from her face.
“I’m stupid, really stupid, I didn’t mean to scare you Katie, I promise I would never purposely upset you. I’m really stupid, stupid nutjob, fucking idiot, stupid bloody idiot...” JJ started ranting, letting his hands drop to his sides, punching his thighs as he punished himself for scaring Katie.
“Babes you’re getting locked on, you didn’t mean to scare me yeah, I’m just a bit jumpy.” Katie soothed, grabbing hold of his clenched fists. “Please stop that.” Katie insisted, feeling his hands unclench themselves, she slipped her own hands around his, intertwining their fingers, Katie leaned in for a kiss.
“I’ll be more careful in future I promise.” JJ smiled, leaning down to meet Katie’s lips, his thumb brushing away the last of Katie’s tears. “I’m sorry about walking out on you earlier, I should have tried harder, should have been a better boyfriend.”
“I guess we never got to how to deal with grumpy girlfriends in our lessons.” Katie laughed, feeling nicely at ease with what they were calling each other now. “I’m sorry for pushing you away, I don’t want to lose you, I’m just struggling with some stuff at the moment.”
“I know, I can put up with anything, anything you’re going through, if you need to shout and scream I’m here.” JJ promised, knowing that he didn’t really like people getting angry at him, especially for no legitimate reason, but for Katie he was willing to make an exception.
“I can’t keep punishing you for things other people have done to me. You’re too good, too kind.” Katie sighed, feeling completely unworthy of JJ once again, what other guy would open himself up to verbal abuse and the job of being a punching bag just to make her feel better?
“You can’t keep punishing yourself for the bad things other people have done either.” JJ smiled, running his hand along Katie’s cheek. Taking her hand, he pulled her in the direction of the front door. “Come on, it’s freezing out here.”
Unlocking the door, JJ carried on grasping onto Katie’s hand, the two of them stepping inside the house. JJ’s mum popped her head around the corner, and Katie blushed as she said a quick hello. The two of them making their way upstairs, JJ’s mum was left mouth agape yet again.
Katie loved being back in JJ’s room, it smelt like him, everything in it reminded her of him and it was perfect. Doing a quick walk around, JJ stood back and let Katie explore, finally she stopped in front of JJ’s mind map, her mind flashing back to the last time she’d stood in front of it, searching for a certain part.
Naomi loves Emily, Emily loves Naomi, JJ loves Emily
Only it didn’t say that anymore, the ‘Emily’ had been scribbled out, in a determined way so that you couldn’t read it anymore. Carefully it had been replaced.
Naomi loves Emily, Emily loves Naomi, JJ loves Katie
Katie paused for a second, taking it in before turning and looking at JJ who was blushing red with the unintentional admission. Wishing he’d thought more carefully before bringing Katie up here, wishing he could read Katie’s expression, but that was something he always struggled with. Katie turned, she was heading over to her bag and JJ was certain he’d blown it, certain that he’d rushed too fast and now she was going to walk away. He was slightly confused when instead she was digging around inside the bag, looking for something, smiling when she finally found it. She made her way over to the wall, standing on JJ’s desk chair to reach, making an addition, before stepping down and standing back to admire it.
JJ walked over, standing next to Katie he looked up to read what she had written. Letting out a muttered ‘oh’ JJ blushed, feeling Katie reach for his hand, the two stood together hand in hand looking at the mind map.
Naomi loves Emily, Emily loves Naomi, JJ loves Katie, Katie loves JJ.