Love Lessons (Part Twenty)
Katie lay staring at nothing in particular, she was wrapped up, cocooned in JJ’s arms, listening to him sleep. She was slightly concerned about her mum coming home, or Emily, or even James and her dad returning from their fishing trip, but she was just too comfortable to move. She broke into a smile at the thought of what her and JJ had just done, biting her lip to try to contain it, pulling herself even closer against JJ’s body. It had been so utterly different to any other time, she wished it had been her first, she felt dirty thinking that he was just one of a number of guys that she’d been with, taking comfort in the fact that he was the first person she’d made love to, not just a quick shag. No, it had been slow, and careful, gentle and he’d been determined that it was all about her, she’d squealed not just with pleasure, but with genuine surprise that someone could make her feel like that.
She’d expected him to terrified, hesitant, but all it had taken were a few encouraging words, and her very vocal response to what he was doing, to fill JJ with confidence. Afterwards, he’d pulled her into his arms, kissed her slowly and gently whispered that he loved her. Katie thought she might explode, this was like something out of a movie, this wasn’t how real boys behaved she kept on telling herself, this was going to be a dream that she woke up from feeling empty and upset.
JJ’s deep snore immediately interrupted Katie’s thoughts, reminding her that he wasn’t completely without faults, though she’d take a few snores over the boys who fucked her and then asked her to leave any-day. It was nice just laying here, but there was something that left her feeling uneasy, that stopped her drifting off into easy sleep like JJ had. She couldn’t shift the thought that she didn’t deserve this, that this was all just too good for her, she’d almost become comfortable with the boys that didn’t give a fuck, because she cared as little about them as they did about her.
Falling in love was terrifying. Maybe she’d loved Freddie, it had certainly felt like it at the time, but this thing with JJ was just so much more. It was big and scary, this collision of the two unlikeliest people in the planet falling in love. Katie couldn’t help but wonder if she would end up hurting him, he looked so easy to break, so fragile. It was why she avoided nice boys, she wasn’t the kind of girl for nice boys.
JJ shifted slightly in his sleep, he was far too big for Katie’s single bed, which immediately made her smile, when he started slipping off the edge Katie couldn’t help but burst out laughing, grabbing on as tightly as she could to pull him back. JJ woke up at the disruption, just about managing not to slip off.
“That was a close one, really a single bed wasn’t made for two people, hence it being called a single bed, though the closer we move together the more we become like a single person, albeit a large person, though the bed states nothing about weight restrictions so I’d say we’re alright on that front... Not of course that I'm suggesting that you need to move in close to me, its a personal choice thing, but perhaps you’d quite like to?” JJ stuttered, blushing and feeling a bit stupid, closing his eyes tightly, opening them to see Katie looking back at him with an amused smile.
“Where’s your confidence from earlier gone? You’re supposed to just scoop me up into your arms, not ask questions.” Katie teased, moving in closer to JJ as she did so.
“I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re being rushed or pushed into everything, I know how scary things are right now, you’re still not right after what happened the other night, or with what happened with Effy. The last thing you need in your life is me forcing you to be intimate in a way you don’t want to be.” JJ explained, knowing that Katie wasn’t happy with him bringing up either of her attacks, but also knowing that there were things that just needed to be said.
“We just fucked Jay, that’s pretty intimate, and you weren’t complaining then.” Katie snapped, her walls being forced back up, protecting herself from any emotional depth with JJ.
“If that’s how you want to describe it, then it really didn’t mean the same to you as it did to me.” JJ mumbled, looking slightly offended, as he pulled himself up and away from Katie.
“I didn’t mean it like that... I’m sorry alright? I just hate it when you bring up all that Effy shit, I can’t think about her without getting angry, and I can’t think about the attack because that scares me to death as well. There’s just no fucking justice, its all left hanging.” Katie explained, tugging on JJ’s arm, grateful when he relented and moved back in close to her.
“But you need to forget it Katie, you need to forgive, and not for Effy’s sake, for yours because this is destroying you.” JJ soothed, pressing a kiss to Katie’s forehead, his hand stroking Katie’s hair.
“You make it sound so easy, Effy should pay for what she did.” Katie insisted, her fist clenching, JJ’s fingers prising it apart, laying his own palm over Katie’s.
“Come on Katie you promised that was over and done with.” JJ reminded her, too busy being lovely to notice the flash of guilt on Katie’s face, oblivious to the strange agreement that Ruby and Katie had come to.
“It is...” Katie muttered quietly, hoping that JJ wouldn’t notice she was lying, hated that she was lying anyway, burying her head into JJ’s chest so that he couldn’t read her eyes.
“Promise me.” JJ demanded, lifting Katie’s face so that he could look at her properly.
“I promise.” Katie rushed, silencing JJ with a kiss, hoping that it would be the thing to melt away any doubts he had. JJ tried to keep the lingering gaze up between them, but Katie clenched her eyes shut, kissing JJ with an intense ferocity.
**
“This ain’t really the kind of music I listen to babes, I mean if you’re going to listen to something with guitars you’ve got to go for the classics y’know.” Cook grumbled, trying to subtly turn down the volume on the iPod dock, much to Ruby’s annoyance.
“Cook I'm not fucking to Ace of Spades again, it’s off putting having Lemmy screech in my ear when I'm trying to get off.” Ruby sighed, using the remote to turn the volume back up, shuffling over as Cook lumped down on the mattress next to her.
“Fair enough, got any fags on you babe?” Cook asked, kissing Ruby’s stomach, his hands automatically gravitating towards her tits, his favourite resting place for them.
“No, you smoked them all last night remember? Cock.” Ruby grumbled, squirming slightly with enjoyment as Cook ran his tongue up her body.
“Fuck it. I’ll have to pop out and get some won’t I? You won’t get lonely without me will you?” Cook grinned, placing a quick kiss on Ruby’s lips as he jumped out of bed, pulling a dirty shirt off the floor and over his head.
“Get some vodka as well, we’ll have a party for two.” Ruby smiled, actually growing to enjoy Cook’s goofy smile, finding she liked being around him more and more.
“Will this party involve me getting my dick wet?” Cook questioned, raising his eyebrow, thrusting his crotch slightly, suggestively. Ruby biting her lip as she looked him up and down.
“It normally does, though it’ll be a bloody short party if thats all it involves.” Ruby sighed, inclination on the shortness, Cook always got a bit excitable, and it was over and done with before Ruby could even begin to enjoy herself.
“Fuck you. I always help you out in other ways if I miss you on the main event.” Cook retaliated, looking slightly offended, as he always did when his shagging skills were called into doubt.
“Fine, just go and get those bloody fags, I swear if I didn’t like you then I'd have fucked off a long time ago.” Ruby complained, blushing slightly at the admission that she liked Cook, it certainly wasn’t part of the plan, and she certainly hadn’t forgotten about Naomi, but Cook was making his way into her affections.
Cook looked at her in shock for a minute, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he considered what had just been said. Looking down at his shoes, Cook tried to force his head back up to meet Ruby’s eyes, before his own admission.
“Yeah well I fucking like you too, a lot, I like you a lot.” Cook muttered, before turning and practically fleeing his own room. Pausing slightly in the doorway, he turned back, smiled awkwardly before walking away.
Ruby released a breath she hadn’t realised she was holding, shaking her head furiously at the ridiculously sweet moment between her and Cook, it all felt so wrong. Sighing, she scanned the room for something to do, remembering that this was Cook’s room and he was a little sparse on actual belongings.
Shrugging to herself, Ruby decided she might as well get a head start on the sex, at least if she sorted herself out she was guaranteed at least one orgasm that night. Positioning herself on Cook’s bed, she kicked off her jeans, not really caring if Cook came back, he’d probably enjoy the show. Clasping her eyes shut, she tried hard to focus on Cook’s blue eyes, on his smile, on his body, but it took literally seconds before the eyes turned a lighter, almost grey shade, and the body morphed into a female one. It was her hand working away, but in her fantasy it was Naomi who was touching her exactly where she wanted her to, it was Naomi’s tits that were practically thrust into her face, and it was Naomi’s name that she screamed out, panting, minutes later. Clutching onto the pillow above her to steady herself during the comedown, Ruby’s hand caught the edge of something shoved under the pillow, reaching for it, she brought out the photo that made her stomach churn.
It wasn’t fair to be annoyed, she’s just been dreaming about Naomi, but jealousy was an irrational emotion and the fact that Effy’s photo was under Cook’s pillow drove her insane. Throwing it down the side of Cook’s bed, Ruby felt her heart start to race, finding her fallen jeans, she searched the pocket for her mobile phone, finding the number she needed.
“Katie... Yeah it’s Ruby, we need to meet. Tomorrow morning yeah? Don’t fucking back out on me now, just remember that bitch smacking you with a rock and fucking your boyfriend yeah?” Ruby instructed, listening to Katie’s cautious noises of agreement, before putting the phone down. Just in time for Cook’s triumphant return, clearly he’d rehearsed his entrance, no signs of his earlier soppiness apparent.
“Already in your underwear? Bloody hell someone's keen!” Cook chuckled, unbuckling his belt and letting his trousers and boxers drop around his ankles.
**
Naomi sat staring into space, she hadn’t really been there all day, Emily had eventually, with much convincing finally headed home, leaving Naomi just to sit with her thoughts and worries racing through her head. There was a piece of paper in front of her, the beginnings of a letter, a back up plan, that Naomi had been working on since Emily had left.
You probably don’t care... Maybe you’ve forgotten I exist, the lack of birthday cards would certainly suggest that.
Naomi screwed up the attempt, dropping it into the bin next to her, wishing a wastebasket of screwed up paper didn’t look so fucking cliche.
Dear arsehole, I’m worried mums going to die, so I’m clutching at straws and hoping you’ll finally step up after seventeen years of being a useless bastard.
Well, it was succinct to say the least, definitely got her point across. Probably wasn’t productive to what she was trying to achieve, whatever that was. This all felt like some kind of dirty betrayal, but it was supposed to be a parents job to protect their child, and if her mum was gone she needed someone.
My name is Naomi Campbell, I’m seventeen, I’m your daughter. If you’re not interested then fine, but there is only so long you can shirk parental responsibility. Shit that sounds all wrong, you’ll probably read it and run a mile (well you’ve already run multiple miles, possibly you’ll run further, I’m not totally sure how this works). Basically there’s a chance my mums ill, you used to love her once, so maybe part of you gives a crap about it, my girlfriend reckons part of you always stays in love (just sort of launched that at you didn’t I? It’s best to paint a complete picture though I reckon, I’m gay.)
Naomi paused, reading over what she’d wrote, cringing at how utterly crap it sounded. Scribbling it out, she started yet another letter that would probably end up in the bin. Why she was choosing this guy to rely on now she wasn’t sure, like she’d said before, clutching at straws.
**
Emily hadn’t walked straight home, she’d sort of detoured, walking nowhere in particular. iPod in her ears, listening to something that reminded her of Naomi, but then again there was very little that didn’t. In the silence between songs, Emily thought she heard her name being called, looking up and pulling her earphones out, Emily spotted her mother waving frantically. Jogging over, Emily tried to force a smile.
“Emily darling! What are you doing round here?” Jenna asked, confused as to what Emily would be doing in this neighbourhood if she wasn’t visiting Miriam.
“I’m not really sure, just sort of ended up here, guess I followed a road that looked familiar.” Emily shrugged, wrapping her earphones around her iPod, before shoving it into her bag, starting to walk alongside her mother.
“Just went to visit Miriam, that woman really can talk for Britain, don’t really fancy heading home just yet, Katie has her friend round. Perhaps you and me could do something?” Jenna suggested, almost nervously, bonding with Katie had been easy, but so much had happened between her and Emily that it made things far more difficult.
“Er, sure. What kind of thing?” Emily asked nervously, looking up at her mother, trying to work out what thoughts were running through her mothers head, praying they didn’t involve some kind of Chippendale type show to try and straighten her out.
“Coffee? Or a meal? Something simple, I’d like to talk. You don’t have to look so nervous Emily.” Jenna smiled gently, linking her arm through Emily’s, heading in the direction of the town.
“Sorry. We’ve just never done this before.” Emily admitted, feeling bad when Jenna looked hurt by the remark, her hand squeezing her mothers arm affectionately which seemed to make her smile.
“Am I a bad mother Emily?” Jenna asked, in a tiny voice that seemed so unfamiliar to Emily, she wasn’t even sure it was her mother talking, it was only looking up to see Jenna’s expectant stare that confirmed that it had been Jenna who had asked.
“You’re not a bad mother. I wish you’d been more understanding about me, but that doesn’t make you a bad mother.” Emily explained, gulping slightly at the reminder of the pain Jenna had caused her, the times she’d cried because of her mum.
“You’re gay.” Jenna said, it was a statement, not a question. Something that was such a big step for Jenna to admit.
“I am. I’m still your daughter though, I haven’t changed.” Emily smiled, trying her hardest at a cheeky Emily grin, her attempt at reminding her mother that nothing had changed at all, she was the same Emily Fitch.
“I know. One day maybe you’ll be able to forgive me for what I’ve done, for how I've acted. I’d like to get to know Naomi as well, Katie has said how good you two are together, I’d like to get to know the girl that makes my daughter so happy a little better.” Jenna explained, already mentally planning the dinner party in her head.
“I’d really like that. Think we’ll have to leave it for a little while, Nai’s going through a lot at the moment. Don’t think big family dinner parties are top of her priority list.” Emily sighed, hating how some things in her life were coming together so perfectly whilst others were going so horribly wrong.
“Is she okay? Is there anything we can help with?” Jenna asked, voicing genuine concern, something which shocked Emily but also made her heart swell a little.
“Gina. Naomi’s mum, she might be ill, she might have... Cancer.” Emily sighed, the last word barely audible, it caught in her throat and made her want to choke, it was a horrible word. “Oh god mum I don’t know what I’d do if that was you.” Emily suddenly yelped, throwing her arms around her mother, pulling her close.
“Oh darling, I’m so sorry.” Jenna gasped, kissing the top of her daughters head, it was clear how much this woman meant to her daughter, she also couldn’t imagine what Naomi was going through, the extra pressure this put on Emily as well bothering her.
“Naomi tries to be all blasé, like nothing bothers her, but she’s a wreck at the moment. I’m not used to being the strong one.” Emily admitted, feeling guilty for thinking about herself at a time like this, her problems were selfish ones.
“Darling, just remember you have a strong family behind you, we’ll do everything we can for you, we’ll help Naomi and her mum in any way we can. Anything to make this easier for you. All you need to do is be there for Naomi, thats all she’ll need.” Jenna assured, her hand now linked with Emily’s, squeezing it tightly as she led Emily into a little coffee shop. Emily completely speechless, and feeling a thousand times better than she had done before.
She’d expected him to terrified, hesitant, but all it had taken were a few encouraging words, and her very vocal response to what he was doing, to fill JJ with confidence. Afterwards, he’d pulled her into his arms, kissed her slowly and gently whispered that he loved her. Katie thought she might explode, this was like something out of a movie, this wasn’t how real boys behaved she kept on telling herself, this was going to be a dream that she woke up from feeling empty and upset.
JJ’s deep snore immediately interrupted Katie’s thoughts, reminding her that he wasn’t completely without faults, though she’d take a few snores over the boys who fucked her and then asked her to leave any-day. It was nice just laying here, but there was something that left her feeling uneasy, that stopped her drifting off into easy sleep like JJ had. She couldn’t shift the thought that she didn’t deserve this, that this was all just too good for her, she’d almost become comfortable with the boys that didn’t give a fuck, because she cared as little about them as they did about her.
Falling in love was terrifying. Maybe she’d loved Freddie, it had certainly felt like it at the time, but this thing with JJ was just so much more. It was big and scary, this collision of the two unlikeliest people in the planet falling in love. Katie couldn’t help but wonder if she would end up hurting him, he looked so easy to break, so fragile. It was why she avoided nice boys, she wasn’t the kind of girl for nice boys.
JJ shifted slightly in his sleep, he was far too big for Katie’s single bed, which immediately made her smile, when he started slipping off the edge Katie couldn’t help but burst out laughing, grabbing on as tightly as she could to pull him back. JJ woke up at the disruption, just about managing not to slip off.
“That was a close one, really a single bed wasn’t made for two people, hence it being called a single bed, though the closer we move together the more we become like a single person, albeit a large person, though the bed states nothing about weight restrictions so I’d say we’re alright on that front... Not of course that I'm suggesting that you need to move in close to me, its a personal choice thing, but perhaps you’d quite like to?” JJ stuttered, blushing and feeling a bit stupid, closing his eyes tightly, opening them to see Katie looking back at him with an amused smile.
“Where’s your confidence from earlier gone? You’re supposed to just scoop me up into your arms, not ask questions.” Katie teased, moving in closer to JJ as she did so.
“I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re being rushed or pushed into everything, I know how scary things are right now, you’re still not right after what happened the other night, or with what happened with Effy. The last thing you need in your life is me forcing you to be intimate in a way you don’t want to be.” JJ explained, knowing that Katie wasn’t happy with him bringing up either of her attacks, but also knowing that there were things that just needed to be said.
“We just fucked Jay, that’s pretty intimate, and you weren’t complaining then.” Katie snapped, her walls being forced back up, protecting herself from any emotional depth with JJ.
“If that’s how you want to describe it, then it really didn’t mean the same to you as it did to me.” JJ mumbled, looking slightly offended, as he pulled himself up and away from Katie.
“I didn’t mean it like that... I’m sorry alright? I just hate it when you bring up all that Effy shit, I can’t think about her without getting angry, and I can’t think about the attack because that scares me to death as well. There’s just no fucking justice, its all left hanging.” Katie explained, tugging on JJ’s arm, grateful when he relented and moved back in close to her.
“But you need to forget it Katie, you need to forgive, and not for Effy’s sake, for yours because this is destroying you.” JJ soothed, pressing a kiss to Katie’s forehead, his hand stroking Katie’s hair.
“You make it sound so easy, Effy should pay for what she did.” Katie insisted, her fist clenching, JJ’s fingers prising it apart, laying his own palm over Katie’s.
“Come on Katie you promised that was over and done with.” JJ reminded her, too busy being lovely to notice the flash of guilt on Katie’s face, oblivious to the strange agreement that Ruby and Katie had come to.
“It is...” Katie muttered quietly, hoping that JJ wouldn’t notice she was lying, hated that she was lying anyway, burying her head into JJ’s chest so that he couldn’t read her eyes.
“Promise me.” JJ demanded, lifting Katie’s face so that he could look at her properly.
“I promise.” Katie rushed, silencing JJ with a kiss, hoping that it would be the thing to melt away any doubts he had. JJ tried to keep the lingering gaze up between them, but Katie clenched her eyes shut, kissing JJ with an intense ferocity.
**
“This ain’t really the kind of music I listen to babes, I mean if you’re going to listen to something with guitars you’ve got to go for the classics y’know.” Cook grumbled, trying to subtly turn down the volume on the iPod dock, much to Ruby’s annoyance.
“Cook I'm not fucking to Ace of Spades again, it’s off putting having Lemmy screech in my ear when I'm trying to get off.” Ruby sighed, using the remote to turn the volume back up, shuffling over as Cook lumped down on the mattress next to her.
“Fair enough, got any fags on you babe?” Cook asked, kissing Ruby’s stomach, his hands automatically gravitating towards her tits, his favourite resting place for them.
“No, you smoked them all last night remember? Cock.” Ruby grumbled, squirming slightly with enjoyment as Cook ran his tongue up her body.
“Fuck it. I’ll have to pop out and get some won’t I? You won’t get lonely without me will you?” Cook grinned, placing a quick kiss on Ruby’s lips as he jumped out of bed, pulling a dirty shirt off the floor and over his head.
“Get some vodka as well, we’ll have a party for two.” Ruby smiled, actually growing to enjoy Cook’s goofy smile, finding she liked being around him more and more.
“Will this party involve me getting my dick wet?” Cook questioned, raising his eyebrow, thrusting his crotch slightly, suggestively. Ruby biting her lip as she looked him up and down.
“It normally does, though it’ll be a bloody short party if thats all it involves.” Ruby sighed, inclination on the shortness, Cook always got a bit excitable, and it was over and done with before Ruby could even begin to enjoy herself.
“Fuck you. I always help you out in other ways if I miss you on the main event.” Cook retaliated, looking slightly offended, as he always did when his shagging skills were called into doubt.
“Fine, just go and get those bloody fags, I swear if I didn’t like you then I'd have fucked off a long time ago.” Ruby complained, blushing slightly at the admission that she liked Cook, it certainly wasn’t part of the plan, and she certainly hadn’t forgotten about Naomi, but Cook was making his way into her affections.
Cook looked at her in shock for a minute, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he considered what had just been said. Looking down at his shoes, Cook tried to force his head back up to meet Ruby’s eyes, before his own admission.
“Yeah well I fucking like you too, a lot, I like you a lot.” Cook muttered, before turning and practically fleeing his own room. Pausing slightly in the doorway, he turned back, smiled awkwardly before walking away.
Ruby released a breath she hadn’t realised she was holding, shaking her head furiously at the ridiculously sweet moment between her and Cook, it all felt so wrong. Sighing, she scanned the room for something to do, remembering that this was Cook’s room and he was a little sparse on actual belongings.
Shrugging to herself, Ruby decided she might as well get a head start on the sex, at least if she sorted herself out she was guaranteed at least one orgasm that night. Positioning herself on Cook’s bed, she kicked off her jeans, not really caring if Cook came back, he’d probably enjoy the show. Clasping her eyes shut, she tried hard to focus on Cook’s blue eyes, on his smile, on his body, but it took literally seconds before the eyes turned a lighter, almost grey shade, and the body morphed into a female one. It was her hand working away, but in her fantasy it was Naomi who was touching her exactly where she wanted her to, it was Naomi’s tits that were practically thrust into her face, and it was Naomi’s name that she screamed out, panting, minutes later. Clutching onto the pillow above her to steady herself during the comedown, Ruby’s hand caught the edge of something shoved under the pillow, reaching for it, she brought out the photo that made her stomach churn.
It wasn’t fair to be annoyed, she’s just been dreaming about Naomi, but jealousy was an irrational emotion and the fact that Effy’s photo was under Cook’s pillow drove her insane. Throwing it down the side of Cook’s bed, Ruby felt her heart start to race, finding her fallen jeans, she searched the pocket for her mobile phone, finding the number she needed.
“Katie... Yeah it’s Ruby, we need to meet. Tomorrow morning yeah? Don’t fucking back out on me now, just remember that bitch smacking you with a rock and fucking your boyfriend yeah?” Ruby instructed, listening to Katie’s cautious noises of agreement, before putting the phone down. Just in time for Cook’s triumphant return, clearly he’d rehearsed his entrance, no signs of his earlier soppiness apparent.
“Already in your underwear? Bloody hell someone's keen!” Cook chuckled, unbuckling his belt and letting his trousers and boxers drop around his ankles.
**
Naomi sat staring into space, she hadn’t really been there all day, Emily had eventually, with much convincing finally headed home, leaving Naomi just to sit with her thoughts and worries racing through her head. There was a piece of paper in front of her, the beginnings of a letter, a back up plan, that Naomi had been working on since Emily had left.
You probably don’t care... Maybe you’ve forgotten I exist, the lack of birthday cards would certainly suggest that.
Naomi screwed up the attempt, dropping it into the bin next to her, wishing a wastebasket of screwed up paper didn’t look so fucking cliche.
Dear arsehole, I’m worried mums going to die, so I’m clutching at straws and hoping you’ll finally step up after seventeen years of being a useless bastard.
Well, it was succinct to say the least, definitely got her point across. Probably wasn’t productive to what she was trying to achieve, whatever that was. This all felt like some kind of dirty betrayal, but it was supposed to be a parents job to protect their child, and if her mum was gone she needed someone.
My name is Naomi Campbell, I’m seventeen, I’m your daughter. If you’re not interested then fine, but there is only so long you can shirk parental responsibility. Shit that sounds all wrong, you’ll probably read it and run a mile (well you’ve already run multiple miles, possibly you’ll run further, I’m not totally sure how this works). Basically there’s a chance my mums ill, you used to love her once, so maybe part of you gives a crap about it, my girlfriend reckons part of you always stays in love (just sort of launched that at you didn’t I? It’s best to paint a complete picture though I reckon, I’m gay.)
Naomi paused, reading over what she’d wrote, cringing at how utterly crap it sounded. Scribbling it out, she started yet another letter that would probably end up in the bin. Why she was choosing this guy to rely on now she wasn’t sure, like she’d said before, clutching at straws.
**
Emily hadn’t walked straight home, she’d sort of detoured, walking nowhere in particular. iPod in her ears, listening to something that reminded her of Naomi, but then again there was very little that didn’t. In the silence between songs, Emily thought she heard her name being called, looking up and pulling her earphones out, Emily spotted her mother waving frantically. Jogging over, Emily tried to force a smile.
“Emily darling! What are you doing round here?” Jenna asked, confused as to what Emily would be doing in this neighbourhood if she wasn’t visiting Miriam.
“I’m not really sure, just sort of ended up here, guess I followed a road that looked familiar.” Emily shrugged, wrapping her earphones around her iPod, before shoving it into her bag, starting to walk alongside her mother.
“Just went to visit Miriam, that woman really can talk for Britain, don’t really fancy heading home just yet, Katie has her friend round. Perhaps you and me could do something?” Jenna suggested, almost nervously, bonding with Katie had been easy, but so much had happened between her and Emily that it made things far more difficult.
“Er, sure. What kind of thing?” Emily asked nervously, looking up at her mother, trying to work out what thoughts were running through her mothers head, praying they didn’t involve some kind of Chippendale type show to try and straighten her out.
“Coffee? Or a meal? Something simple, I’d like to talk. You don’t have to look so nervous Emily.” Jenna smiled gently, linking her arm through Emily’s, heading in the direction of the town.
“Sorry. We’ve just never done this before.” Emily admitted, feeling bad when Jenna looked hurt by the remark, her hand squeezing her mothers arm affectionately which seemed to make her smile.
“Am I a bad mother Emily?” Jenna asked, in a tiny voice that seemed so unfamiliar to Emily, she wasn’t even sure it was her mother talking, it was only looking up to see Jenna’s expectant stare that confirmed that it had been Jenna who had asked.
“You’re not a bad mother. I wish you’d been more understanding about me, but that doesn’t make you a bad mother.” Emily explained, gulping slightly at the reminder of the pain Jenna had caused her, the times she’d cried because of her mum.
“You’re gay.” Jenna said, it was a statement, not a question. Something that was such a big step for Jenna to admit.
“I am. I’m still your daughter though, I haven’t changed.” Emily smiled, trying her hardest at a cheeky Emily grin, her attempt at reminding her mother that nothing had changed at all, she was the same Emily Fitch.
“I know. One day maybe you’ll be able to forgive me for what I’ve done, for how I've acted. I’d like to get to know Naomi as well, Katie has said how good you two are together, I’d like to get to know the girl that makes my daughter so happy a little better.” Jenna explained, already mentally planning the dinner party in her head.
“I’d really like that. Think we’ll have to leave it for a little while, Nai’s going through a lot at the moment. Don’t think big family dinner parties are top of her priority list.” Emily sighed, hating how some things in her life were coming together so perfectly whilst others were going so horribly wrong.
“Is she okay? Is there anything we can help with?” Jenna asked, voicing genuine concern, something which shocked Emily but also made her heart swell a little.
“Gina. Naomi’s mum, she might be ill, she might have... Cancer.” Emily sighed, the last word barely audible, it caught in her throat and made her want to choke, it was a horrible word. “Oh god mum I don’t know what I’d do if that was you.” Emily suddenly yelped, throwing her arms around her mother, pulling her close.
“Oh darling, I’m so sorry.” Jenna gasped, kissing the top of her daughters head, it was clear how much this woman meant to her daughter, she also couldn’t imagine what Naomi was going through, the extra pressure this put on Emily as well bothering her.
“Naomi tries to be all blasé, like nothing bothers her, but she’s a wreck at the moment. I’m not used to being the strong one.” Emily admitted, feeling guilty for thinking about herself at a time like this, her problems were selfish ones.
“Darling, just remember you have a strong family behind you, we’ll do everything we can for you, we’ll help Naomi and her mum in any way we can. Anything to make this easier for you. All you need to do is be there for Naomi, thats all she’ll need.” Jenna assured, her hand now linked with Emily’s, squeezing it tightly as she led Emily into a little coffee shop. Emily completely speechless, and feeling a thousand times better than she had done before.