Love Lessons (Part Twenty-One)
Katie shifted awkwardly, she was in far too deep, because when it had just been her and her empty threats, it hadn’t really mattered, it was just a way of satisfying the endless cycle of rage that built inside her. Now things were different, now there was a plan, now there was someone to take the reigns and make things happen. Katie had tried a thousand different ways of saying, ‘I don’t want to do this’, but they were either completely unclear or Ruby was just choosing to ignore them.
Sat in Ruby’s bedroom, perched awkwardly on the edge of her bed, Katie chewed on her bottom lip in an attempt to distract from the inexhaustible apprehension. Ruby finally looked up from the notebook she was scribbling in, dropping the pen which in turn caught Katie’s attention.
“Fine. We won’t do anything to Effy. It’s your fight not mine.” Ruby shrugged, closing the book and tossing it to the floor. She could see the look on Katie’s face, knew that if she pushed Katie then it would fall apart.
“You just seem so determined. You don’t even know Effy.” Katie challenged, because really Ruby had absolutely nothing to gain from this, and trusting her just seemed a bit too dangerous, plus her promise to JJ kept buzzing round her head.
“I’ve seen the way she controls your friends, the power she has over Cook, how everyone bows down to Queen fucking Effy. She was even making eyes at Naomi the other day, how pathetic can she get.” Ruby seethed, concentrating on Effy’s stupid comment from the bus stop.
“Naomi and Effy are friends, that’s just the way they are, Effy isn’t even gay. Seriously if this is what is driving this desire to fuck Effy over then you’re making a mistake, shouldn’t you be angry at my sister? She’s the one with Naomi.” Katie asked confused, sure Emily and Ruby had fought but Emily had started that, Katie couldn’t remember Ruby saying an unprovoked bad word against Emily.
“Emily and Naomi are together, I can’t change that. I’m with Cook, I like Cook, but he’s hung up on Effy and she’ll never be good enough for him, she’ll always be fluttering her eyelashes at anything with a pulse, and for some unknown reason the entire population of Bristol will always be fucking bowing down to miss almighty.” Ruby explained with an angry sigh, she’d immediately tired of Effy’s ‘mysterious aura’ and ability to make the world swoon with just a glare of her electric blues.
“She just took Freddie... Wasn’t even interested until he was mine.” Katie mused, lost in a painful memory. “She hit me with a rock and then she fucked him, and she just left me there, she left me there to die. I wasn’t blameless that night, but she left me to fucking die...”
Ruby sat watching Katie, watching the emotion on Katie’s face, the tears that welled up and immediately made their escape. This wasn’t about Ruby and her stupid issues with Effy anymore, this was about Katie and how broken she was, how Effy was still hurting her even now.
“I’m not suggesting this for me babes, I really think you need closure on this.” Ruby urged gently, her hand reaching out for Katie’s arm, gently holding on, providing some kind of comfort.
“What’s the plan?” Katie sniffed, looking up, her eyes met Ruby’s. She still wasn’t sure about this, but Ruby was right, she needed closure.
**
Naomi had played the same song on loop for about an hour now, it was so loud it filled the entire house, anything to block out the outside world. She was laid out on her rug, the same rug she’d shared with Emily, what felt like a million years ago. Her hand reaching out to the side that was frayed where Naomi’s hand had spent that entire night pulling at it, anything to combat the nerves that came with being so close to Emily. Naomi smiled at the memory, her hands dragging along the loose strands, wishing she could go back to when things seemed so much more complicated, but were in reality far less.
Gina stood in the doorway, it was a position she’d found herself standing in quite regularly, every couple of hours, just watching Naomi. Her head leaning against the doorframe, her heart pounding. Part of her wanted to cross the threshold, go to her daughter and make everything better, but it was as is there was an invisible wall the held them apart.
As the song started yet again, Gina released a tiny smile, she was almost certain she knew every lyric to the song by now, she wanted to turn it over, or even better turn it off, but instead she closed her eyes and listened instead.
Naomi knew her mum was there, wanted to go and wrap her arms around her, but right now she couldn’t face her because she felt so selfish. It was her pain that was taking over, when it was Gina that needed her not the other way round, Naomi was suffering and she felt guilty for it. She was also feeling guilty for the letter she’d posted that morning, the letter addressed to her father, the one that had taken her five and a half hours to write, the one that could change everything.
Gina took a deep breath, before turning round, leaving the doorway and walking down the stairs. When she reached the bottom she realised that the house was silent, that Naomi had stopped the song. Found she missed the music, found that the song had been having the same effect on her as it had on Naomi, blocking out the bad thoughts.
**
JJ knocked on the familiar door, the same door he’d probably knocked on hundreds of times over the years, he waited patiently as he always did until it clattered open. Suddenly Karen standing before him, smiling when she saw it was JJ, reaching out to ruffle his hair, which caused JJ to sigh but he dealt with it regardless.
“Hello JJ!” Karen beamed, stepping aside to let JJ walk into the house. She was always happy to see JJ, he’d always been the nice one of Freddie’s friends, the one that would stop and talk to her, ask her how her day had been. She was glad to see JJ, hoped that he would be able to shed some light on Freddie’s recent behaviour, surlier than usual, barely leaving his room.
“May I see Freddie please Karen? It’s quite important.” JJ asked, tentatively making his way up the stairs, as Karen followed behind him, whispering to JJ as they climbed.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with him, dad’s worried he’s depressed or something. Barely eating, more stoned than usual, he’s a wreck JJ.” Karen sighed, her hand resting on JJ’s back, hoping that JJ could be the one to make Freddie smile again. As annoying as her little brother was most of the time, Karen still loved him, still needed him, family having a whole new significance since losing their mum.
“Let me try and talk to him, I think I know what’s wrong.” JJ sighed, his cheeks burning red with embarrassment. JJ wasn’t really sure how Cook and Freddie could just get into fights with people, punch them, and then not feel bad about it. Maybe it was because they were strangers, anonymous, maybe it was only different because he’d punched out his best friend.
JJ didn’t even bother knocking, just opened the door, there was nothing that Freddie could be doing that he hadn’t seen before. As it turned out, Freddie wasn’t doing anything, just sort of sitting and looking out his window with a sad look on his face.
“I’m not hungry Karen. I ate yesterday.” Freddie grumbled, assuming it was his sister bugging him with yet another sandwich. JJ looked down at the floor where a plate sat, half eaten sandwich resting on it.
“The human body needs more than a few half hearted bites of a sandwich to sustain it, add to that the questionable quality of Karen’s cooking, and I’d say you need to get out of here.” JJ smiled, trying to make his voice sound as warm as possible, it didn’t work apparently, as Freddie’s head whipped round and he looked at JJ slightly horrified.
“What are you doing here?” Freddie asked, shaking slightly. JJ stepped back at this reaction, didn’t quite know how to make things better.
“I came to apologise, I’m so sorry Freds, please forgive me, please be my friend.” JJ begged in his endearing childish way that made Freddie feel nothing but utter guilt. Freddie shifted over, rummaged in his drawer, pulled out a spliff he’d made the night before and lit it up, inhaling deeply.
“Please don’t apologise. Please don’t.” Freddie muttered, losing himself in a druggy haze, he’d been almost permanently stoned for days, this was just a boost, a top up, something to help him through this conversation.
“I’m really sorry, I just... You were just... Oh Freddie please can we be friends, I’m sorry I hit you, it was just a reaction, a stupid reaction and I’m sorry Freds I'm really sorry...” JJ continues, oblivious to how every single apology is cutting through Freddie like a knife until finally Freddie explodes.
“I said don’t fucking apologise! Don’t fucking apologise you bastard, I don’t deserve your sympathy, I’m shit, all I am is shit.” Freddie shouts, he’s in JJ’s face and JJ is scared, shaking because he’s never seen Freddie like this before. Has never seen him anything but calm and collected.
“Please stop it Freddie, tell me what’s wrong, please Freddie.” JJ soothes, even though he’s shaking and he’s scared and he doesn’t really want to be around Freddie right now. He wraps hims arms around his friend, tries to make everything better.
“It was me.” Freddie mutters in the smallest voice JJ thinks he’s ever heard, he’s holding Freddie even closer now, Freddie starts to cry and JJ wants to protect him.
“What was Freds? What’s happened?” JJ asks, he’s confused by this situation, wishes Cook was here because he’d be able to sort this out, he’d know what to say to Freddie.
“I hurt Katie.” Freddie chokes out, and JJ doesn’t really understand his meaning, wonders why Freddie’s feeling guilty about cheating on Katie after all this time, because in the grand scheme of things it’s really not that bad.
“She’s over it, you left her for Effy and sure she was hurt, but she’s okay now. Katie’s fine.” JJ explains, he wants to explain that Katie’s happiness is in part because of him, but he holds back, because he doesn’t quite feel that bragging is appropriate right about now.
“No Jay you don’t understand... It was me, it was me that attacked Katie.” Freddie sobs, crying more now, crying so much his body is shaking hard, only JJ isn’t holding him anymore, JJ’s let go and is just looking at him.
“No.” JJ utters in disbelief, because there must be a joke in here somewhere, maybe he’s just not getting it, he doesn’t always get jokes, doesn’t always understand them. This must be a joke.
“I was drunk, I was drunk and she turned me down and then I saw her outside the club and I don’t know what I was thinking, I just wanted her. I wouldn’t have hurt her Jay, I wouldn’t have done, I was just getting carried away, I just wanted her back.” Freddie babbled desperately, he could see JJ moving away from him, could see the fear and disgust on JJ’s face.
“No, this can’t be right. You can’t be telling the truth. Cook beat up the attacker, Cook hurt him.” JJ explains and finally breathes a sigh of relief because other than the punch that he’d landed on Freddie, Freddie has no other visible marks, all the same JJ finds himself backing up against Freddie’s door.
It’s when Freddie gets up and starts to walk towards him, half walk, half hobble, that JJ can see how much pain Freddie is in. JJ stepped forward, reached for the hem of Freddie’s shirt and pulled it up and over Freddie’s head. Freddie just letting him, just standing there topless with the purple bruises covering his body, His ribs sticking out at a funny angle as well, JJ pretty sure it was broken, and thinking that was probably why Freddie needs so much spliff, pain relief.
“This is wrong, this is wrong, you didn’t, you can’t have, you wouldn’t, not you, not Freddie, you’re Freddie, you’re my Freddie, you’re my best friend, she’s my girlfriend, you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t.” JJ splutters, locked on, completely locked on. Holding his head, gripping on tightly as he muttered ‘you wouldn’t’ over and over.
“JJ I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I’ll make it up to both of you. I was drunk Jay, it was stupid, it was nothing yeah?” Freddie pleaded, trying to help JJ, trying to pull him out from getting locked on like he’d done time and time before, but his touch isn’t helping, it’s just making things worse.
“How could you!” JJ screamed, like an animal breaking free from it’s cage, suddenly they’re both on the floor and JJ is throwing punches, Freddie laying there and taking it because he deserves it, because it’s what he’s been waiting for.
“JJ what the fuck!” Karen screeched, running into the room and trying to pull the boy off of her brother. Succeeding in calming JJ down slightly, she stood still holding him back.
“You’re sick, you disgust me. Stay away from her, stay away from me.” JJ warned, and he still feels locked on, still wants to rip Freddie limb from limb, but he settles for running down the house and outside instead. Crashing against the wall that formed the alleyway beside Freddie’s house, JJ sat curled in a ball, wrapping his arms around his head, anything to stop the bad thoughts that plagued him.
**
Emily didn’t even ask for permission, knew that Naomi would probably come up with some excuse not to see her, knew that her girlfriend was pushing her away because that’s just what Naomi did. Instead Emily walked into Naomi’s room, lying down on the rug beside her, and just pulled Naomi into her.
“I love you.” Emily whispered, stroking Naomi’s hair, smiling as Naomi curled into her, glad that at least Naomi was finding some kind of comfort in her being there.
“I know.” Naomi muttered, kissing Emily’s neck gently.
“So my mum wants to invite you round for dinner. Tonight.” Emily laughed, trying to make the atmosphere just a little lighter, knowing that Naomi needs to smile because it breaks her to see her so lost.
“Oh Christ Emily, isn’t my life bad enough already.” Naomi retorts, smiling for the first time in what feels like forever. Her hand finding Emily’s gripping onto it, even though her head is still swimming, Emily anchors her.
“It’s her olive branch, we should probably take it before she takes it back and goes back to being a cow. She’s in a strangely nice mood at the moment, mothers, who’d have them?” Emily laughs, stopping as she realises how stupid her words are, regrets them as they slip out her mouth and kill the atmosphere almost immediately. “Oh fuck I didn’t mean...”
“It’s alright Emily.” Naomi replies, it sounds a little harsher than she intends it to, knows that Emily feels horrible, knows that its just a joke, but can’t help taking it personally at the moment.
“No, it’s not. I’m a dick, a huge one.” Emily sighed, holding onto Naomi’s hand a little tighter than before, wishing she had the ability to think before she spoke. Feeling bad for reminding Naomi that things weren’t all lovely and perfect.
“If you were a dick I wouldn’t love you.” Naomi smiled, because she didn’t want to hurt Emily, not today. It was easier just to bypass the point, move on and enjoy her girlfriend holding her and making things just seem a little bit better.
“Too right you massive lesbian.” Emily teased, regaining some of her confidence, heart warming when she saw Naomi grin. Leaning in, Emily kissed Naomi, firmly, passionately, the kind of kiss that told her that she was there, she’d always be there, and she loved her. Forever.
**
Rob looked at his wife, watching as she fussed over a meal, trying to work out whether this was a good idea or not. It had the potential to go hideously wrong, because as much as he loved his wife, he also knew her faults, and how difficult coming to terms with Emily’s sexuality had been. A whole meal with Naomi was surely asking for trouble, or at least awkwardness.
“Bloody hell Rob! Is she a vegetarian? I didn’t ask Emily! I’ve just been cooking this fish and I didn’t even think about it! Oh Rob call Emily and ask her.” Jenna panicked, staring horrified at the fish in front of her. “The girl lives in a hippy commune I wouldn’t be surprised if she was!”
“Jen give the hippy stuff a rest, and keep calm yeah, I'll give Ems a ring and ask her. But for now just get on with the fish, that’s my best catch right there.” Rob smiled, a calming hand on his wife's shoulder, which immediately stopped her getting flustered.
“Have you seen my book? I need my book!” Jenna suddenly announced, leaving the meal and hunting around through a few piles in the kitchen.
“Book? Cook book? Other book?” Rob asked, sighing as he stepped in to calm Jenna down once again, pulling her away from the mess she’d created, wondering if there was some kind of sedative he could give her just to make her chill.
“My gay book!” Jenna groaned as if the answer was already obvious, looking at Rob expectantly, as her eyes scanned around to try and find the book. She was only up to chapter three, she definitely wasn’t prepared for this dinner.
“Gay book?” Rob asked confused, not overly sure what a gay book was or what his wife was doing with one, but was relieved when Jenna found what she was looking for, at least she’d be able to calm down now.
“It’s a helpful guide for straight parents dealing with gay children.” Jenna explained, waving the book in Rob’s face. It was written by some psychologist bloke who probably didn’t have a clue about anything.
“Sounds like a thrilling read babe, Emily doesn’t need to be ‘dealt’ with though.” Rob sighed, grabbing hold of the book and flicking through it, throwing a curious glance at some of the chapters.
“Oh Rob I didn’t mean it like that, I want to be prepared, I want to be supportive.” Jenna insisted, still feeling so completely out of her depth. Even more so when she heard the door click open, and heard the two voices chatting away.
Jenna looked out into the corridor, Emily looking shyly and smiling, her hand linked with Naomi’s who hung back slightly, offering only a nervous ‘hello’ before pressing herself into Emily’s back in an attempt to hide herself away. Jenna gulped before smiling back, offering her own ‘hello’ before moving back to the kitchen. This was going to be a long night...
Sat in Ruby’s bedroom, perched awkwardly on the edge of her bed, Katie chewed on her bottom lip in an attempt to distract from the inexhaustible apprehension. Ruby finally looked up from the notebook she was scribbling in, dropping the pen which in turn caught Katie’s attention.
“Fine. We won’t do anything to Effy. It’s your fight not mine.” Ruby shrugged, closing the book and tossing it to the floor. She could see the look on Katie’s face, knew that if she pushed Katie then it would fall apart.
“You just seem so determined. You don’t even know Effy.” Katie challenged, because really Ruby had absolutely nothing to gain from this, and trusting her just seemed a bit too dangerous, plus her promise to JJ kept buzzing round her head.
“I’ve seen the way she controls your friends, the power she has over Cook, how everyone bows down to Queen fucking Effy. She was even making eyes at Naomi the other day, how pathetic can she get.” Ruby seethed, concentrating on Effy’s stupid comment from the bus stop.
“Naomi and Effy are friends, that’s just the way they are, Effy isn’t even gay. Seriously if this is what is driving this desire to fuck Effy over then you’re making a mistake, shouldn’t you be angry at my sister? She’s the one with Naomi.” Katie asked confused, sure Emily and Ruby had fought but Emily had started that, Katie couldn’t remember Ruby saying an unprovoked bad word against Emily.
“Emily and Naomi are together, I can’t change that. I’m with Cook, I like Cook, but he’s hung up on Effy and she’ll never be good enough for him, she’ll always be fluttering her eyelashes at anything with a pulse, and for some unknown reason the entire population of Bristol will always be fucking bowing down to miss almighty.” Ruby explained with an angry sigh, she’d immediately tired of Effy’s ‘mysterious aura’ and ability to make the world swoon with just a glare of her electric blues.
“She just took Freddie... Wasn’t even interested until he was mine.” Katie mused, lost in a painful memory. “She hit me with a rock and then she fucked him, and she just left me there, she left me there to die. I wasn’t blameless that night, but she left me to fucking die...”
Ruby sat watching Katie, watching the emotion on Katie’s face, the tears that welled up and immediately made their escape. This wasn’t about Ruby and her stupid issues with Effy anymore, this was about Katie and how broken she was, how Effy was still hurting her even now.
“I’m not suggesting this for me babes, I really think you need closure on this.” Ruby urged gently, her hand reaching out for Katie’s arm, gently holding on, providing some kind of comfort.
“What’s the plan?” Katie sniffed, looking up, her eyes met Ruby’s. She still wasn’t sure about this, but Ruby was right, she needed closure.
**
Naomi had played the same song on loop for about an hour now, it was so loud it filled the entire house, anything to block out the outside world. She was laid out on her rug, the same rug she’d shared with Emily, what felt like a million years ago. Her hand reaching out to the side that was frayed where Naomi’s hand had spent that entire night pulling at it, anything to combat the nerves that came with being so close to Emily. Naomi smiled at the memory, her hands dragging along the loose strands, wishing she could go back to when things seemed so much more complicated, but were in reality far less.
Gina stood in the doorway, it was a position she’d found herself standing in quite regularly, every couple of hours, just watching Naomi. Her head leaning against the doorframe, her heart pounding. Part of her wanted to cross the threshold, go to her daughter and make everything better, but it was as is there was an invisible wall the held them apart.
As the song started yet again, Gina released a tiny smile, she was almost certain she knew every lyric to the song by now, she wanted to turn it over, or even better turn it off, but instead she closed her eyes and listened instead.
Naomi knew her mum was there, wanted to go and wrap her arms around her, but right now she couldn’t face her because she felt so selfish. It was her pain that was taking over, when it was Gina that needed her not the other way round, Naomi was suffering and she felt guilty for it. She was also feeling guilty for the letter she’d posted that morning, the letter addressed to her father, the one that had taken her five and a half hours to write, the one that could change everything.
Gina took a deep breath, before turning round, leaving the doorway and walking down the stairs. When she reached the bottom she realised that the house was silent, that Naomi had stopped the song. Found she missed the music, found that the song had been having the same effect on her as it had on Naomi, blocking out the bad thoughts.
**
JJ knocked on the familiar door, the same door he’d probably knocked on hundreds of times over the years, he waited patiently as he always did until it clattered open. Suddenly Karen standing before him, smiling when she saw it was JJ, reaching out to ruffle his hair, which caused JJ to sigh but he dealt with it regardless.
“Hello JJ!” Karen beamed, stepping aside to let JJ walk into the house. She was always happy to see JJ, he’d always been the nice one of Freddie’s friends, the one that would stop and talk to her, ask her how her day had been. She was glad to see JJ, hoped that he would be able to shed some light on Freddie’s recent behaviour, surlier than usual, barely leaving his room.
“May I see Freddie please Karen? It’s quite important.” JJ asked, tentatively making his way up the stairs, as Karen followed behind him, whispering to JJ as they climbed.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with him, dad’s worried he’s depressed or something. Barely eating, more stoned than usual, he’s a wreck JJ.” Karen sighed, her hand resting on JJ’s back, hoping that JJ could be the one to make Freddie smile again. As annoying as her little brother was most of the time, Karen still loved him, still needed him, family having a whole new significance since losing their mum.
“Let me try and talk to him, I think I know what’s wrong.” JJ sighed, his cheeks burning red with embarrassment. JJ wasn’t really sure how Cook and Freddie could just get into fights with people, punch them, and then not feel bad about it. Maybe it was because they were strangers, anonymous, maybe it was only different because he’d punched out his best friend.
JJ didn’t even bother knocking, just opened the door, there was nothing that Freddie could be doing that he hadn’t seen before. As it turned out, Freddie wasn’t doing anything, just sort of sitting and looking out his window with a sad look on his face.
“I’m not hungry Karen. I ate yesterday.” Freddie grumbled, assuming it was his sister bugging him with yet another sandwich. JJ looked down at the floor where a plate sat, half eaten sandwich resting on it.
“The human body needs more than a few half hearted bites of a sandwich to sustain it, add to that the questionable quality of Karen’s cooking, and I’d say you need to get out of here.” JJ smiled, trying to make his voice sound as warm as possible, it didn’t work apparently, as Freddie’s head whipped round and he looked at JJ slightly horrified.
“What are you doing here?” Freddie asked, shaking slightly. JJ stepped back at this reaction, didn’t quite know how to make things better.
“I came to apologise, I’m so sorry Freds, please forgive me, please be my friend.” JJ begged in his endearing childish way that made Freddie feel nothing but utter guilt. Freddie shifted over, rummaged in his drawer, pulled out a spliff he’d made the night before and lit it up, inhaling deeply.
“Please don’t apologise. Please don’t.” Freddie muttered, losing himself in a druggy haze, he’d been almost permanently stoned for days, this was just a boost, a top up, something to help him through this conversation.
“I’m really sorry, I just... You were just... Oh Freddie please can we be friends, I’m sorry I hit you, it was just a reaction, a stupid reaction and I’m sorry Freds I'm really sorry...” JJ continues, oblivious to how every single apology is cutting through Freddie like a knife until finally Freddie explodes.
“I said don’t fucking apologise! Don’t fucking apologise you bastard, I don’t deserve your sympathy, I’m shit, all I am is shit.” Freddie shouts, he’s in JJ’s face and JJ is scared, shaking because he’s never seen Freddie like this before. Has never seen him anything but calm and collected.
“Please stop it Freddie, tell me what’s wrong, please Freddie.” JJ soothes, even though he’s shaking and he’s scared and he doesn’t really want to be around Freddie right now. He wraps hims arms around his friend, tries to make everything better.
“It was me.” Freddie mutters in the smallest voice JJ thinks he’s ever heard, he’s holding Freddie even closer now, Freddie starts to cry and JJ wants to protect him.
“What was Freds? What’s happened?” JJ asks, he’s confused by this situation, wishes Cook was here because he’d be able to sort this out, he’d know what to say to Freddie.
“I hurt Katie.” Freddie chokes out, and JJ doesn’t really understand his meaning, wonders why Freddie’s feeling guilty about cheating on Katie after all this time, because in the grand scheme of things it’s really not that bad.
“She’s over it, you left her for Effy and sure she was hurt, but she’s okay now. Katie’s fine.” JJ explains, he wants to explain that Katie’s happiness is in part because of him, but he holds back, because he doesn’t quite feel that bragging is appropriate right about now.
“No Jay you don’t understand... It was me, it was me that attacked Katie.” Freddie sobs, crying more now, crying so much his body is shaking hard, only JJ isn’t holding him anymore, JJ’s let go and is just looking at him.
“No.” JJ utters in disbelief, because there must be a joke in here somewhere, maybe he’s just not getting it, he doesn’t always get jokes, doesn’t always understand them. This must be a joke.
“I was drunk, I was drunk and she turned me down and then I saw her outside the club and I don’t know what I was thinking, I just wanted her. I wouldn’t have hurt her Jay, I wouldn’t have done, I was just getting carried away, I just wanted her back.” Freddie babbled desperately, he could see JJ moving away from him, could see the fear and disgust on JJ’s face.
“No, this can’t be right. You can’t be telling the truth. Cook beat up the attacker, Cook hurt him.” JJ explains and finally breathes a sigh of relief because other than the punch that he’d landed on Freddie, Freddie has no other visible marks, all the same JJ finds himself backing up against Freddie’s door.
It’s when Freddie gets up and starts to walk towards him, half walk, half hobble, that JJ can see how much pain Freddie is in. JJ stepped forward, reached for the hem of Freddie’s shirt and pulled it up and over Freddie’s head. Freddie just letting him, just standing there topless with the purple bruises covering his body, His ribs sticking out at a funny angle as well, JJ pretty sure it was broken, and thinking that was probably why Freddie needs so much spliff, pain relief.
“This is wrong, this is wrong, you didn’t, you can’t have, you wouldn’t, not you, not Freddie, you’re Freddie, you’re my Freddie, you’re my best friend, she’s my girlfriend, you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t.” JJ splutters, locked on, completely locked on. Holding his head, gripping on tightly as he muttered ‘you wouldn’t’ over and over.
“JJ I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I’ll make it up to both of you. I was drunk Jay, it was stupid, it was nothing yeah?” Freddie pleaded, trying to help JJ, trying to pull him out from getting locked on like he’d done time and time before, but his touch isn’t helping, it’s just making things worse.
“How could you!” JJ screamed, like an animal breaking free from it’s cage, suddenly they’re both on the floor and JJ is throwing punches, Freddie laying there and taking it because he deserves it, because it’s what he’s been waiting for.
“JJ what the fuck!” Karen screeched, running into the room and trying to pull the boy off of her brother. Succeeding in calming JJ down slightly, she stood still holding him back.
“You’re sick, you disgust me. Stay away from her, stay away from me.” JJ warned, and he still feels locked on, still wants to rip Freddie limb from limb, but he settles for running down the house and outside instead. Crashing against the wall that formed the alleyway beside Freddie’s house, JJ sat curled in a ball, wrapping his arms around his head, anything to stop the bad thoughts that plagued him.
**
Emily didn’t even ask for permission, knew that Naomi would probably come up with some excuse not to see her, knew that her girlfriend was pushing her away because that’s just what Naomi did. Instead Emily walked into Naomi’s room, lying down on the rug beside her, and just pulled Naomi into her.
“I love you.” Emily whispered, stroking Naomi’s hair, smiling as Naomi curled into her, glad that at least Naomi was finding some kind of comfort in her being there.
“I know.” Naomi muttered, kissing Emily’s neck gently.
“So my mum wants to invite you round for dinner. Tonight.” Emily laughed, trying to make the atmosphere just a little lighter, knowing that Naomi needs to smile because it breaks her to see her so lost.
“Oh Christ Emily, isn’t my life bad enough already.” Naomi retorts, smiling for the first time in what feels like forever. Her hand finding Emily’s gripping onto it, even though her head is still swimming, Emily anchors her.
“It’s her olive branch, we should probably take it before she takes it back and goes back to being a cow. She’s in a strangely nice mood at the moment, mothers, who’d have them?” Emily laughs, stopping as she realises how stupid her words are, regrets them as they slip out her mouth and kill the atmosphere almost immediately. “Oh fuck I didn’t mean...”
“It’s alright Emily.” Naomi replies, it sounds a little harsher than she intends it to, knows that Emily feels horrible, knows that its just a joke, but can’t help taking it personally at the moment.
“No, it’s not. I’m a dick, a huge one.” Emily sighed, holding onto Naomi’s hand a little tighter than before, wishing she had the ability to think before she spoke. Feeling bad for reminding Naomi that things weren’t all lovely and perfect.
“If you were a dick I wouldn’t love you.” Naomi smiled, because she didn’t want to hurt Emily, not today. It was easier just to bypass the point, move on and enjoy her girlfriend holding her and making things just seem a little bit better.
“Too right you massive lesbian.” Emily teased, regaining some of her confidence, heart warming when she saw Naomi grin. Leaning in, Emily kissed Naomi, firmly, passionately, the kind of kiss that told her that she was there, she’d always be there, and she loved her. Forever.
**
Rob looked at his wife, watching as she fussed over a meal, trying to work out whether this was a good idea or not. It had the potential to go hideously wrong, because as much as he loved his wife, he also knew her faults, and how difficult coming to terms with Emily’s sexuality had been. A whole meal with Naomi was surely asking for trouble, or at least awkwardness.
“Bloody hell Rob! Is she a vegetarian? I didn’t ask Emily! I’ve just been cooking this fish and I didn’t even think about it! Oh Rob call Emily and ask her.” Jenna panicked, staring horrified at the fish in front of her. “The girl lives in a hippy commune I wouldn’t be surprised if she was!”
“Jen give the hippy stuff a rest, and keep calm yeah, I'll give Ems a ring and ask her. But for now just get on with the fish, that’s my best catch right there.” Rob smiled, a calming hand on his wife's shoulder, which immediately stopped her getting flustered.
“Have you seen my book? I need my book!” Jenna suddenly announced, leaving the meal and hunting around through a few piles in the kitchen.
“Book? Cook book? Other book?” Rob asked, sighing as he stepped in to calm Jenna down once again, pulling her away from the mess she’d created, wondering if there was some kind of sedative he could give her just to make her chill.
“My gay book!” Jenna groaned as if the answer was already obvious, looking at Rob expectantly, as her eyes scanned around to try and find the book. She was only up to chapter three, she definitely wasn’t prepared for this dinner.
“Gay book?” Rob asked confused, not overly sure what a gay book was or what his wife was doing with one, but was relieved when Jenna found what she was looking for, at least she’d be able to calm down now.
“It’s a helpful guide for straight parents dealing with gay children.” Jenna explained, waving the book in Rob’s face. It was written by some psychologist bloke who probably didn’t have a clue about anything.
“Sounds like a thrilling read babe, Emily doesn’t need to be ‘dealt’ with though.” Rob sighed, grabbing hold of the book and flicking through it, throwing a curious glance at some of the chapters.
“Oh Rob I didn’t mean it like that, I want to be prepared, I want to be supportive.” Jenna insisted, still feeling so completely out of her depth. Even more so when she heard the door click open, and heard the two voices chatting away.
Jenna looked out into the corridor, Emily looking shyly and smiling, her hand linked with Naomi’s who hung back slightly, offering only a nervous ‘hello’ before pressing herself into Emily’s back in an attempt to hide herself away. Jenna gulped before smiling back, offering her own ‘hello’ before moving back to the kitchen. This was going to be a long night...