Love Lessons (Part Four)
“I can’t stop you seeing her at school, but you’ll hopefully respect the fact that I want you absolutely nowhere near that girl, and avoid her at all costs. I can’t really have you moving schools, I won’t let her mess up your education, like she has the rest of your life. But my girl I promise, you have broken my trust, your life outside of school is regimented by me!” Jenna explained, they were in the car, Emily and Katie sat in the back, Katie gently squeezing her sisters hand.
“What exactly is she being punished for here?” Katie snapped, despite Emily’s eyes pleading for her to drop it. Katie was feeling fiercely protective over her sister.
“You know.” Jenna replied simply, continuing to drive, telling herself that everything was going to be alright now. This ‘problem’ was going to go away, it was what a good mother would do, wasn’t it?
“I know. I’m just not sure I understand! When was I ever punished for seeing someone? You didn’t lock me up when I was seeing Danny, or Freddie. Why is Emily different?” Katie challenged, surprising even Emily with the defense she was putting up.
“If Emily wants to see a nice boy like Daniel or Frederick then that’s fine.” Jenna sighed, disappointed in the lack of support she was receiving from Katie, when Katie had tried to convince her that Emily was lying about this thing with Naomi, Jenna had assumed that her daughter was just as opposed as she was. Something had changed, over the summer, Katie and Emily had grown closer, under any other circumstance Jenna would have been delighted, but she didn’t want them bonding over something that wasn’t real.
“Why is it fine? Emily’s gay, she’s not going to be getting with a guy.” Katie answered back, her mothers ignorance really beginning to irritate her, it made her feel guilty that at one time she sounded just like this.
“Emily is NOT gay, none of my children are gay.” Jenna insisted, banging the steering wheel as she did so, as if to emphasise her point.
“James is always hanging around with that Gordon McPherson kid, maybe he’s gay.” Katie muttered, cracking a smile as she did so. Emily couldn’t help but snigger, it was the first time she’d smiled since leaving Naomi’s.
“Katie don’t cause trouble.” Jenna scolded, looking up into the rearview mirror, shooting Katie a look of distaste, before looking uncomfortably at Emily, her tearstained cheeks and lost expression. Jenna almost felt bad, almost.
“I’m fucking not. All i’m saying is that Emily and Naomi, they’re good for each other, they love each other.” Katie defended, her words really surprising Emily now, she was so strong and determined, everything Emily wished she could be right now.
“This subject is being dropped, here and now. Katie I would have expected better from you, Emily’s naive she can’t help that she was sucked in by that girl, but you I expected you to at least have attempted to protect your sister. Now will you two get your acts together, we’ll be at Miriam’s soon.” Jenna instructed, with a finality that told them this conversation was over, now they were expected to go and play happy families, pretend that everything was fine.
“Fuck this.” Katie muttered to Emily. Fighting the desire to start a full on argument with her mother.
“Play nice Katie.” Emily smiled weakly, leaning into her twin, relishing the warmth and support, but at the same time wishing that it was Naomi there.
“Not a chance.” Katie grinned wickedly, intent on making this trip as awkward as possible, she was determined to show her mother up at every available opportunity.
**
JJ sat watching her, not in a creepy way, just in a ‘i’m too shy to actually go and talk to her’ kind of way. She was sat on a park bench, strange coincidence that he’s chosen to go there for a walk, reading a book that she looked utterly engrossed in. He knew he was supposed to wait for the party to go and introduce himself, but this seemed like quite a good opportunity, without all the alcohol and craziness that a party provided.
“Hello” he muttered gently, with a small wave, that distracted her from her book, long enough to register who was standing in front of her.
“Oh... Hi, it’s JJ right?” Jodi smiled, she had a warm smile that immediately put JJ at ease, she picked up a bookmark, placing it in between the pages to hold her place, dedicating her full attention to JJ.
“Yes, and you’re Jodi. You’re in my maths class.” JJ explained, rubbing his hands together nervously, before realising that looked a little creepy, and instead holding them at his sides.
“Yes, and English.” Jodi nodded, biting her bottom lip, she was fairly certain that JJ was flirting with her, and she kind of liked it, she liked the cute nervousness.
“Do you mind if I sit down?” JJ asked in a sudden surge of confidence, wishing that Katie had told him exactly what he was supposed to say, once he’d got himself into a situation such as this.
“Of course not.” Jodi replied, patting the space next to her on the bench, smiling as JJ sat down next to her.
**
“Ooh I can never tell which of you girls is which, such pretty girls.” The twins great aunt Miriam smiled, pouring tea for them, distributing biscuits as she moved around the three Fitch women.
“Yeah we like to play it to our advantage, helps us swap sexual partners, never get bored if you’ve got them on a constant loop.” Katie replied, hardly missing a beat, which made Emily almost choke on her tea, and Jenna begin to hyperventilate on the spot.
“Sorry dear, i’m a little deaf what was that?” Miriam asked, moving closer to Katie, completely unaware of what Katie had said, despite the look of horror on Jenna’s face.
“Oh I just said that i’m Katie, Auntie Miriam.” Katie smiled sweetly, chewing on her biscuit, whilst Jenna sent her a fierce glare.
“Delightful dear, so that makes you Emily... Now Emily, would you like a finger or two?” Miriam asked, innocently referring to the box of Cadbury’s Chocolate Fingers she held her hands.
“Emily’s a bit greedy Miriam, I heard she likes three...” Katie trailed, shooting a wicked glance at her mother, who dropped her cup of tea in shock.
“Really Jenna! Your two lovely girls can behave but you can’t, I’ll have to get a cloth to clean that up.” Miriam scolded, waddling off into the kitchen, leaving Emily and Katie to simply smile innocently at their mother.
**
The fun that Katie and Emily had at Miriam’s, probably on reflection, wasn’t worth it. Jenna had been beyond fuming, and if she wasn’t certain about Emily’s complete social ban before this, she was now. The night had been difficult, and the two sisters had sat up most of it talking, Katie coming up with numerous schemes, whilst Emily sat desperately trying to ignore her phone which had been buzzing constantly with calls and texts, all from the person she just couldn’t face.
The next morning, Emily had woken up feeling utterly deflated, the texts had stopped around four in the morning, Naomi finally giving in to sleep. Emily sighed and trudged downstairs, only for her mother to instruct her that she was to stay in the house the entire day, and that she would be at work, but James would be around and he would phone her the second Emily even attempted to leave.
Emily flicked through daytime television, finding it impossible to settle on anything that didn’t remind her of Naomi, who’d have been throwing insults at whatever stupid show it was, criticising it or simply laughing at how ridiculous it was. Eventually Emily had turned the television off, instead succumbing to tiredness, right there on the sofa. Not even waking when the doorbell rang.
**
Katie was almost glad that Emily had awoken, letting JJ in quietly, Katie sneaked him upstairs. Emily would ask too many questions, she wouldn’t understand. Katie watched JJ staring at Emily, sleeping on the sofa and felt her insides clench, a feeling she didn’t quite understand and passed as quickly as it came about. The minute they were safely in the comfort of Katie and Emily’s room, JJ had explained about his meeting with Jodi. Causing Katie to decide to move onto a later stage in her lessons of love.
“Katie I've had sex.” JJ sighed, at the suggestion of Katie’s sex education lessons, slightly nervous what they would involve. He didn’t really think he needed much help in THAT department anyway, it was the actual talking to girls that baffled him.
“You’ve had sex with a lesbian, that’s not going to teach you anything... She was hardly into it was she? Probably thinking of Naomi the whole time.” Katie dismissed, rolling her eyes at the hurt look that registered on JJ’s face the second she said it. Fuck it was like kicking a puppy, Katie thought shaking her head.
“Thanks for that.” JJ grunted, examining the two different sides to this bedroom, that called out the two personalities of the twins. Katie’s wild, untidy and glamourous. Emily’s refined, beautiful and well... Gay.
“Reality J, it’s important yeah?” Katie sighed, arranging herself in her top so that her tits looked fabulous, smugly satisfied as she noticed she’s grabbed JJ’s attention.
“Right.” JJ coughed, slightly embarrassed that he couldn’t take his eyes off Katie. Not when she was doing that.
“So lay back.” Katie instructed, as nonchalantly as if she was doctor instructing her patient, JJ half expected her to pull out the latex gloves.
“We’re not going to...” JJ stuttered, bloody hell what was it with these Fitch girls and educational pity sex? Trying to mentally decide whether or not it would be a good idea, slightly relieved, when Katie’s expression showed, that sleeping with him was not a part of the plan.
“Oh god no! Of course we’re not! This is educational not pornographical!” Katie rushed, blushing red at the thought, laughing at the embarrassed look that passed between them.
“Pornographical isn’t a word... It’s pornographic.” JJ corrected, trying to make the situation slightly less awkward, as he kicked off his shoes and sat down on the bed.
“Shut up JJ. Now lay back... This is like... A simulation. Right so I don’t know how confident she is in the bedroom, she might not have a clue, in which case you’ll have to take control. But then again the quiet ones can sometimes be a little wild, so she might like to get on top.” Katie explained, sitting herself on JJ’s lap, a leg either side as she straddled him.
“Crikey.” JJ choked, suddenly aware of the pressure on his lap, he was suddenly trying very hard to think of the least sexy thoughts he could.
“Don’t you dare get a hard on.” Katie warned, glaring at JJ.
“I’ll try not to.” JJ murmured, blinking as he tried to regain his composure, and steady his nerves.
“Good... Ok, well give me your hands... Yep right there.” Katie smiled, guiding JJ’s hands to her cleavage, relishing just how uncomfortable she was making him feel at this moment. Shuddering slightly at the feeling of human contact, it had been a long time...
“Katie those are your breasts.” JJ pointed out, his voice cracking, as he rested his hands nervously on Katie’s chest.
“I know that, now concentrate... Can you like squeeze them or something, don’t just fucking hold them.” Katie demanded, rolling her eyes at JJ’s obvious inexperience, no wonder her sister was a lesbian if this was her only sexual experience with a guy.
“This all feels a bit weird.” JJ admitted, still hovering nervously, as if doing anything would be crossing a boundary.
“You want to get her in the mood right?? Now do it!” Katie snapped, giving JJ such a fierce stare that he felt instantly compelled to do exactly what she said.
“Okay, okay... Hows that?” JJ asked, groping tentatively, responding to Katie’s movements.
“Yeah that’s not bad actually, so she’s getting turned on and there will probably be kissing, we can leave that out though.” Katie explained, because kissing JJ would be just a little too weird, too intimate, probably nice... Shit! Where did that thought come from, Katie asked herself, shaking her head and getting back to the situation in hand.
“So breast fondling is an acceptable part of our friendship, but kissings a step too far?” JJ asked, slightly bemused by Katie and her educational lessons. Though admittedly he was learning at thing or two.
“Pretty much... Anyway back to this. You’re kissing, groping, yeah and then she’ll start getting turned on.” Katie smiled, ignoring the fact that she was the one getting a little turned on.
“What if she doesn’t?” JJ asked suddenly, interrupting Katie’s chain of thought with his weird pragmatism.
“Oh fucking hell J, have a bit of faith in yourself. If you’re all tense and scared she’ll feel it to, enjoy yourself and she will.” Katie sighed, these lessons were definitely essential, there was no way he was going to get a girl like this.
“Right... So now what?” JJ asked, stopping his hands moving on Katie’s breasts, as he tried to work out how to logically get from one stage to another.
“Now she’ll be all FUCK ME GEEK!” Katie suddenly called, playfully rocking on top of JJ as she burst into giggles, JJ joining in until a sniggering stopped them in their tracks.
“Woah shit Gordon look! Fucking!” James’s voice suddenly interrupted, scaring JJ so much that he threw Katie back with a force that sent her flying off the bed and into a heap on the floor.
“Worm!” Katie yelled, pulling herself up and darting towards the bedroom door where her little brother and his best friend were laughing. Giving James a death stare, Katie slammed the bedroom door shut before turning back to a guilty looking JJ.
“Sorry Katie.” JJ blushed, noticing Katie’s slight limp, from where she’d fallen on her leg.
“You’re actually useless, you know that right?” Katie asked, rolling her eyes and rubbing her leg, soothing where she’d fallen.
“Well, I wasn’t expecting any interruptions.” JJ stuttered in his defense, sure that he could still hear Katie’s little brother, sniggering behind the door.
“Always expect the unexpected JJ, now where were we...?” Katie winked, moving back over to a terrified looking JJ.
**
Emily couldn’t quite work out what had woken her up, it was possibly the loud banging upstairs from the bedroom door being slammed, or the argument that Katie appeared to be having with James. Or it could be the knock at the front door... Shit someone was knocking at the front door, Emily registered, pulling herself and opening it, stepping back slightly when she saw the familiar blonde standing before her. Beautiful as always, she took her breath away.
“What are you doing here? Naomi you can’t be here.” Emily rushed, she wished she had said something else though, something that didn’t seem like a rejection, something that wasn’t hurting Naomi.
“Your mums at work right?” Naomi challenged, grabbing hold of Emily’s hand, her eyes meeting Emily’s, pleading her to just let her stay.
“Yes but... That’s not the point, you can’t be anywhere near this house, or me.” Emily replied, her voice choking on the emotion of the situation, but trying to remain strong and determined, family complications were making this too hard.
“If that your way of breaking up with me?” Naomi snapped aggressively, watching as Emily mulled over the statement, the hesitation made Naomi rip her hand back, she couldn’t believe after everything they had gone through the past year that now, when it was so perfect, Emily was going to let go.
“Please don’t get angry at me.” Emily begged, her big brown eyes melting Naomi’s heart and hostility, she hated the power Emily had over her.
“Fuck Emily, if you want out then don’t be a fucking coward about it. Or are just pulling away enough so that you think I'll do it? Because I won’t Ems, i’ll never give up on us.” Naomi shouted, furious at the position Emily was trying to put her in.
“Shit will you just come inside, fucking neighbours will tell mum.” Emily sighed, grabbing hold of Naomi’s hands and dragging her inside. The two girls now opposite each other in the hallway, too close to not be distracting.
“Give me an explanation” Naomi demanded, moving a step closer towards Emily, before feeling herself pushed backwards, as Emily grabbed hold of her and began furiously kissing her. Nipping at Naomi’s bottom lip, she unleashed all the bottled up rage that should have been directed at her mother, on Naomi who pulled back.
“That’s not an explanation” Naomi shook her head, bring her fingers up to her swollen lips, trying to fight the desire to just take Emily and hold her in her arms, because right now she just looked so fucking precious.
“Can you tell me what I can do? Seriously, my mum has me under lock and key!” Emily snapped, trying to fight the tears that were building, stinging her eyes.
“Leave.” Naomi replied simply, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.
“Oh right, go live on the street next to that fucking tramp that camps out near college shall I? Ask to share his cardboard box?” Emily muttered sarcastically, glaring at Naomi for simplifying something that just couldn’t be simplified, because it was fucked up.
“Move in with me.” Naomi suddenly blurted out, an idea that she’d been thinking over all night, and only now had gotten the confidence to voice. It was the perfect solution, they could be together, away from Emily’s family.
“Don’t be stupid Naomi.” Emily dismissed, not even taking the suggestion seriously, they’d only been together a few months, they were still in school, and Naomi was wanting them to live together.
“I’m not! My mother let 15 strangers live in our house, you really think she wouldn’t have you, who she loves, there? We don’t even have to share a room, if that helps?” Naomi explained, nervously trying to convince Emily that this was right for them.
“You’re asking me to walk away from my family?” Emily asked, a little astonished that this was even a possibility.
“I thought I was your family?” Naomi challenged, chewing on her bottom lip in a way she knew would drive Emily insane. Here she was, heart on her sleeve and there was Emily, not even giving this a chance.
“Naomi... How can I do this?” Emily asked timidly, scared she grabbed hold of Naomi, holding on to the comforting presence of the taller girl, who supported her.
“Easy, you move out, you show them that you’re serious. That you can’t be manipulated, that you are who you are and nothing they say or do can change that. You’re gay Emily, you have a girlfriend, you have a box of porn, we can’t watch a single television programme without you spotting some girl that makes you wet your knickers!” Naomi smiled, trying to lighten the mood with a joke, tightening her grip on Emily to show she was serious.
“Fuck off.” Emily giggled, letting herself nuzzle into Naomi’s neck, a place she felt so safe, so comfortable. A place she didn’t want to ever leave.
“Emily i’m serious, what are you going to do? Stay here and hope to God you straighten out?” Naomi sighed, kissing the top of Emily’s head, a gentle action, an action that showed just how in love these two were, which only served to make this moment even more painful.
“I don’t know, I don’t know what i’m going to do, try to get them used to the idea, slowly.” Emily muttered, hovering on the word ‘slowly’, because slowly to Naomi meant not thrusting a girlfriend in their faces.
“Where do I figure in all of this?” Naomi asked, slightly terrified at the answer. Silenced by Emily kissing her again, just as rough as before, Emily’s hands groping at Naomi’s t-shirt, cupping a breast with fierce determination, moving to kiss Naomi’s neck, marking the skin as if to brand her as her own.
“I love you.” Emily groaned against Naomi’s neck, hands trailing her back, gripping on tightly.
“But you can’t do this?” Naomi whispered, pulling her head back to catch Emily’s response. The gently shake from Emily’s head saying it all, as Naomi pulled herself away, ripping her body from Emily’s she walked out the door... She’d barely got down the road before the sobs started to wrack her body, punishing her for letting herself fall in love in the first place.