Wednesday evening, #37C, Kinney Building - entirely worksafe!
"Hey," Tara murmurs, leaning over the back of the couch with spoon in hand, her left hand cupped protectively under it to catch any drips. "Can you taste this for me? Let me know what you think?"
Shane blinks for a moment as the spoon is lowered into her field of vision and she lets out a quiet chuckle. "Sure," she murmurs, leaning forward to taste a bit of whatever strange new concoction it is that her wife is formulating in the kitchen. "Mmm! That's amazing... what is that?"
"I'm... not sure," Tara replies, wrinkling her nose with a little laugh. "It started off as a pesto sauce, with basil and cashews, but then I decided I'd rather do something Asian than Italian, so it got lemongrass and kaffir leaves added, and coconut milk, and... yeah." She takes a taste herself, more confident now that she's got Shane's approval. "You, um... you remember how we were talking about what I, um... what I might do next semester? If I'm not teaching?"
"Yeah...?" Shane says, brows creasing as she looks up at Tara, the faint shadows of uncertainty and fear flickering in her eyes again.
"No, Shane..." Tara murmurs, a reassuring smile crossing her face as she leans over to press a kiss to Shane's forehead. "No, I... when I was thinking about my options before, it was all shaped by the Powers. Like... it had to be something that helped me in that work, you know? And now... now I'm free. I can do anything I want. Anything I want."
"Yeah," Shane replies, smiling brightly, Tara's kiss as well as her words helping to banish the last clinging vestiges of that fear. "You can. Whatever you want, baby."
"You... do you remember, a while back, I joked with someone that I should set up a restaurant, and inflict the weird things I create on, um... on people? People other than you, I mean? And you said... you said that I really could, because they're wonderful?"
"Yeah, I do," she murmurs, sitting up a bit straighter in her seat, her expression open and enthused. "Is that what you wanna do, baby? You wanna open up a restaurant?"
"I..." Tara shrugs one shoulder, her smile tentative and unsure as she circles the couch and comes to sit next to Shane, spoon still balanced in her hand. "Maybe? Or a catering company or... something like that. I want to feed people. And I want to know that if anyone's homeless or hungry, they can... they can come and be fed, and not be afraid. Like Rogue's kids, you know?" She remembers being hungry and just not having the money to eat, remembers trying to make a single meal last her whole day, filling up on water to make her stomach stop rumbling.
Shane nods as she scoots a bit closer, reaching out to gently smooth her hand over Tara's hair. "It sounds like a good idea, Tara, really," she says reassuringly. "You're a fantastic cook and I mean, you're always talking about how you cook too much, right? This would be perfect for you..."
Tara's smile grows more confident as Shane reassures her. "I know it's impractical. I mean, where would I work? I don't have the money to start up my own restaurant, and I don't have the qualifications to work anywhere that already exists. But... but I was hoping maybe... maybe you'd help me figure it out? How to do this? And then - because I always cook too much - I could maybe just send any leftovers to Rogue, for the shelter. Maybe."
As Tara has been talking, Shane's mind has been working, trying to figure out all the particulars, and when her wife asks her if she'd help, her smile is broad and bright and sweet. "I'll do anything I can to help you, baby," she murmurs, fingers gently stroking through Tara's hair. "If this is what you really want, then I'll do whatever I can to make it happen..."
"Thank you," Tara whispers. "I love you so much, Shane. And you can help me figure out which of my recipes are the best? And maybe if..." Her mind casts over the places already in town, wondering if any of them would serve - and the people she knows who might help. "The Tea Leaf, maybe. If I talked to Mr. Phale... I mean, it's not open for dinner at the moment, but it is open during lunch time. Except it only serves snacks, really, not lunch. And good, healthy, vegetarian food sounds like the sort of thing that would fit in at the Tea Leaf, right?"
"I love you, too... and it sounds perfect, Tara," Shane replies, smiling. "One of the biggest things is finding a location with the right kitchens and servers and all that stuff. If Mr. Phale would let you work out of his place, that's one of the hardest steps checked off the list first thing."
"I'll call him tomorrow," Tara says, nodding in decision. "Or drop by the Tea Leaf and suggest it to him, maybe. We were talking about me doing tarot readings there once a week, too... And I want to start volunteering at the shelter. And I know this is all... I know it's a lot? But... but I want to be doing something, Shane. I want to be helping, and I don't know how to help."
"It is a lot," she agrees, hand slipping down to rest between Tara's shoulder blades, gently stroking back and forth. "But we can just take it a step at a time, okay? I know you wanna help ... and we will. It's just gonna take us a little while to get the groundwork laid out, okay?"
"Yeah," Tara replies. "I... Bobby came over, did I tell you? And he said something about... about me reminding him of Xavier. The one who runs the school that Rogue was raising money for? About accepting everyone, and trying to help them, and... and I know I couldn't now. Or not yet, at least. But... but I've got a lifetime. That's what I want to do, Shane. In the long run. I want... I want a place where everyone is welcome, no matter how different they are, where everyone helps each other, where we teach people to be proud of their strengths. That's who I want to be."
Shane's smile is warm and tender as she leans over and presses a kiss to Tara's cheek and another to her temple. "You can do that... we can do that, love," she whispers. "You can do anything you want, now... and I'll be there to help you make it real."
Relaxing against Shane, Tara snuggles into her wife. "And you'll be the mother of this amazing unified theory that links together Quantum Physics and magic in ways nobody ever has before," she murmurs. "And our house will be huge, with lots of bedrooms, and filled with people, all the time. Sabrina, and our other kids, and the ones who have chosen us, all working together..."
Smiling, Shane presses a kiss to the top of Tara's head. "It's gonna be a beautiful life, baby... and it's gonna be ours," she whispers.
"Mmmm," Tara hums happily, images filling her mind, promising a lifetime's worth of joy - and a life that makes a difference. Then, turning her head, she kisses Shane and stands. The food can't be left for too long - she wants it to simmer down a little, but not to catch and burn, and she's already left it longer than she had planned to. "I need to stir it," she explains. And then, "come with me?"
"Sure," Shane replies, closing her book and setting it aside as she stands up from the couch, following Tara into the kitchen. Helping her wife when she's cooking is easily one of her favorite things and that's only second to spending time with Tara anywhere else besides the kitchen.
"If were weren't already I would beg you to marry me, Shane McCutcheon," Tara says, casting her wife a sweet, loving smile as she stirs the nameless-but-tasty concoction on the stove, rescuing it in time to stop it from catching on the bottom of the pan. The sauce is very thick - destined originally to be a pesto - and her plan is to stir it through the oven-baked vegetables that Shane had helped her to cut up earlier, due to finish baking within the next ten minutes or so.
"Oh, hey, that reminds me," Shane says as she opens the fridge and grabs herself a beer. "I told Mom and Dad about our ideas for the handfasting thing..."
"One for me too, love?" Tara asks, smothering her grin and keeping her eyes fixed on the food in front of her. "What did they say?"
Shane was in the process of closing the fridge door when Tara asked her to get a beer for her, too, and she turns, surprised, as she hears that question. "You... you want a beer?" She sputters, brows creasing with uncertainty.
"Yeah," Tara replies, casting a mischevious look over her shoulder. She'd expected Shane to react much this way. "Yeah, I do. I wanna see how it tastes when it's not filtered through your lips. I like it there, right?"
"Well, um, yeah - I -- I just..." Shane spots the mischievous look but still, she can't stop blinking in amazement. It takes her a good five or ten seconds before she can finally shake it off. "Uhh, sure, yeah. Okay." Swinging the fridge door open again, she grabs a second bottle of beer from the six pack sitting inside and shuts the door, bringing both bottles over to the counter and fishing in a nearby drawer for the opener. She opens one and sets it by the stove for Tara and then opens her own, picking it up and cradling it in her hand, though her attention is focused on Tara and her beer.
Tara picks up the beer, the shape of the bottle familiar to her hand from the many times she's brought one to Shane. She's never raised it to her own lips, though, and that's what she does now. Rich, yeasty scent, like bread baking - the beer bread she had made with one of these same beers. It smells terrible when it goes stale, but right now, fresh and bubbling, the smell's actually quite pleasant. It smells like Shane, tastes just as she expected it to from the hints she'd tasted in Shane's mouth. Not her drink, and it never will be - but she doesn't have to be anyone's Good Girl now, and if she wants to try it, she can. The world won't end, nobody will strike her down, no harsh karmic consequences are going to follow her for this indiscretion. From outside the two of them it must seem like such a small thing, but for Tara it's a vehement statement, as loud and clear as the first time she wore a pair of trousers outside the house.
Shane is probably one of the few people who knows just how truly signficant a thing this really is. They don't make a big deal of it when they're out with other people, just simply saying that Tara prefers wine if she drinks anything at all, but she knows just how important, how huge, a step this is for her wife. "So... what do you think?" She asks, biting her lip, eyes intently watching Tara's face.
"I think I still prefer it in bread," Tara admits, leaving the food for a moment to step over to Shane, invading her personal space for a long, lingering kiss. "Or in you." And then she takes another sip, because she can, her eyes warm and her smile soft as the bottle is lowered and she looks at her wife.
"I am... so... proud of you," Shane whispers, gazing steadily into Tara's eyes, her own soft and warm, impossibly adoring and proud as she looks at her wife. Leaning in she presses a soft kiss to Tara's forehead and then rests her forehead against Tara's, free hand reaching up to lightly touch her cheek. "And I love you so much."
Tara's eyes slide closed as she leans gently against Shane's hand, feeling the warmth of Shane's love and acceptance, knowing that if she'd gone her whole life frightened to try it Shane would have supported her in her choice - and that the only reason she can push past this fear, the barrier dissolving as she does so and leaving no traces behind is because Shane has been so supportive. Shane has taught her to be a new kind of Good Girl, the kind that makes up her own rules, that decides for herself what is right and what is wrong, on greater evidence than the flimsy 'Good Girls Don't' that governed so much of her childhood. "Thank you," she whispers. "I love you, Shane."
Shane sets her beer aside on the counter and then reaches for Tara's, taking it and setting it up on the counter beside her own - they'll probably get mixed up as to which one belongs to whom, but that doesn't make the slightest bit of difference, now. She slips both of her arms around her wife, nestling close to her, head settling into the hollow of Tara's throat, hands gently stroking over her wife's back. She's only ever seen glimpses of Tara's past when they were dreamfasting, only had the handful of stories that Tara had told her to go on, but she knows that her wife has had reason to feel as though she should be afraid. It's taken all this time to prove to her that the fears were just paper dragons, nothing to be scared of at all. Of course, Tara's father had made her believe she should be afraid of the entire world and everything and everyone else in it, but it was merely a way to control her, make sure that she would rely on him no matter what. By asking Tara not to accept that job at Brookhaven, she's not trying to control her, simply protect her - her fears are very big and very genuine when it come to that place, especially after the riots. She rarely ever asks for anything but this meant enough to her that she had to ask, had to say something.
Oddly, though, Tara's grateful that they didn't meet sooner than Fandom. She came so very far in the three years with Willow, leaving only lingering, insistent remnants of the fears that used to paralyse her. She's grateful that Shane never saw her like that, so worthless and paralysed. The image of Tara when she went a little mad, after Crowley pushed her too far, still lingers in Shane, haunting her - she's grateful that the painfully shy, stuttering creature she had been doesn't linger there as well. Shane's greatest fears seem to revolve around her, and that would only give Shane another demon to haunt her crowded head. She leans against Shane, her own hands tracing runes for strength and peace on Shane's shoulders and over the Sanskrit tattoos.
If Shane had a choice between shy and insane, she would take shy any day of the week... Tara hadn't been that bad when they'd first met, though she heard occasional hints of the stutter after that and couldn't help but feel that her wife had come a very, very long way. She thought the blushing and stammers were adorable, but she knew that it made Tara feel horribly uncomfortable and insecure, so she tried her best not to laugh or do anything else that might only make Tara's embarrassment worse. She knew her wife had come very, very far and she'd had only a very small part in helping, but she was still impossibly, unspeakably proud of Tara, nonetheless. Tara's hands move over her back with what seems some kind of careful sort of purpose, a bit more rhyme and sense to them than her own idle, sweeping patterns. "Mm... what is that, baby?" She asks softly.
With a soft, amused sound, Tara retraces the patterns and explains. "Jera, for peace, and in celebration of getting what we've worked for. Eihwaz, for strength and trust. Berkano, for personal growth and liberation. Dagaz, for happiness, and... and Wunjo. For the recognition of worth."
Shane rests her head on Tara's shoulder, eyes closed as she concentrates on the symbols as Tara traces them on her back. She'll never be able to remember them, but... "Do you think... do you think you could write them down on a piece of paper for me?" She asks, biting her lip as she nuzzles Tara's throat.
"Of course," Tara replies, with a soft noise of pleasure for the brush at her throat. "You want another thing to study, baby?" Shane's already trying to memorise herbs - name and scent and what they do, and now that Spring has come Tara fully intends on taking her out for a nature walk, making sure she can recognise them in their pre-prepared forms. "I can get you runestones, if you want..."
"Yeah, to study, too, but... I think you just gave me the idea for my next tattoo," Shane whispers, lips drawing back into a smile against Tara's skin.
"Yeah?" Tara replies, feeling that smile and leaning back to see it, studying Shane's face and eyes. "I have to take the vegetables out of the oven, baby... tell me about the tattoo?" She hates stepping away, but the food calls, rich scents filling the air.
"Yeah," Shane nods, smiling as she leans in and steals a kiss. "I'm thinking I'll get all of those runes on my back, under my Sanskrit... what do you think?" She asks. After a moment, she frowns a little. "Do you think that would be too much? I mean, I don't have much room left..."
"We'll draw it in henna, first," Tara assures her. "To be sure. There are, um... there are twenty-four runes, though. How about we sit down, after dinner, and go through them? Pick which ones you like?" Vegetables rescued from the oven, just starting to turn a deep brown on their points, and the pesto-cum-oriental sauce to stir through them is done and the heat switched off. She could dirty a serving bowl, but it is just them... so she tips the vegetables into the sauce, stirring them through, watching in fascination as the greenish gloop coats them. Looks odd, but she has every faith that it will taste wonderful.
"I liked the ones you traced on me, baby," Shane says, looking a little bashful as she picks up her beer and takes a sip. She watches Tara working, stirring the sauce and vegetables mixing together and chuckles. It looks very odd, but it smells delicious, anyway. Setting her beer aside, she fetches a pair of plates from the cabinet as well as some silverware, setting them beside the stove so that Tara can dish the food out when she feels it's ready.
The runes Tara traced were appropriate for the moment - but if she were to choose five runes to represent Shane, she'd make a few substitutions. It's Shane's body, though, Shane's choice - and an excuse for Tara to draw on Shane, which she loves doing. She can't identify why, exactly, but it fills her with a deep and abiding pleasure to mark her love onto Shane's skin. "The handfasting," she murmurs, remembering. Dishing out the vegetable concoction, Tara casts a curious glance Shane's way. "I'm sorry, baby, I distracted you from what you were saying about CJ and Ten...?"
Shane blinks at Tara for a moment, shaking her head at the quick switch back to their previous topic. "Um," she chuckles, frowning as she tries to remember what it was she'd been planning to tell Tara. "Oh! Wait, that's right. Mom came into the shop to see me on Sunday and I told her about our idea and... she said she'd help get the permits for the park..."
"Permits," Tara echoes. She closes her eyes and winces, a self-depricating smile following on its heels. "I didn't even think about permits. Did, um... did we still want May? Which isn't far away, actually..." She picks up both plates, trusting Shane to bring the silverware and beers as they make their way over to the table.
"Yeah, I mean, I think it would be good. It should be warm, but not too hot, yet..." Shane murmured, nodding as she swipes the beers and silverware off of the counter, grabbing a pair of cloth napkins and draping them over her forearm as she follows Tara to the dinner table. "Dad was saying we should do it somewhere where there's lots of lilac..."
"Lilac, huh? Why lilac? I mean, it's pretty, but... does he have a special secret reason?" Tara steals a kiss before she settles down at the table, taking her first bite of the concoction she'd made. It worked, most definitely, the flavours rich and complex. But if she's going to do this catering/restaurant idea, it'll need a name. Something to think about later, although she won't deny her mind is already turning over ideas.
"I don't know," Shane replies with a chuckle as she joins her wife at the table. She takes a bite of the food and hums, delighted at the unusual but very delicious combination of flavors on her tongue. "He just said it would be brilliant and that there had to be lots of lilac."
Giggling, Tara wrinkles her nose. "Lilac there will be, then, I guess!" She spears a piece of pumpkin, and looks at Shane consideringly. "Beltaine. Um... May 2nd. It's a Wiccan fertility festival. People used to get handfasted then, and jump over the embers of a bonfire to bring them luck and fertility and, um... yeah. Do you think... do you think that would be a good day? Except it doesn't give us a lot of time, so the end of the month might be better..."
Taking another bite of her food, Shane considers the question as she chews. It would be nice to have the ceremony on a proper Wiccan 'holiday', but Tara was right - it really didn't give them a lot of time for planning. "Mom said she'd do whatever she could to help," she says after she swallows her food. "I mean, it's not gonna be a really big ceremony or anything, but... she could probably help us get everything all set up by May 2, if we really wanted..."
"I have pretty much limitless faith in CJ's ability to organise anything," Tara replies, her voice soft and fond. "How much do we really need to organise, though? I mean, getting people to show up, obviously. But we don't need fancy clothes or anything..."
"And you're doing the food," Shane adds, leaning her head on her free hand as she considers ideas. CJ would probably say that one of the best ways to get the word out about Tara's restaurant plan would be to have some kind of sampling dinner, and the handfasting would be a good way of unveiling the idea, but that's mixing business with their private life a little too much for her taste.
"I am," Tara nods, grinning. "We'd talked about having everyone we invite say something, maybe? Or be involved somehow?" They're only going to invite a dozen people, at most, the numbers kept down by the fact that they intend to be skyclad. "Oh! Shane! In MacArthur Park - Pamela's garden! That's the perfect place! I don't think you would have seen it yet, it's very new, but... she kind of asked me to look after it. The dryad I met, remember? It's so beautiful there, and there's a kind of hedge around it, so people from outside wouldn't see in," which is a consideration when planning to get naked in a public park.
"Oh, right," Shane replies, nodding, lips drawing back into a smile. "That would be perfect, only... you said you wanted there to be water, didn't you?"
"Yeah," Tara nods. "A bridge over water. There's a stream there, though - not with a bridge, but there is a stream, and I bet we could get something set up..." Xander, if he were here, would build them a bridge. There are times she misses him for more than the way he made her laugh.
"We could always stand in the stream?" Shane suggests with a chuckle, only partly serious.
Tara giggles, but cocks her head to consider this idea. "I guess it depends how cold the water is, huh? It's not that deep - maybe calf height? That's a guess, I didn't test or anything. But... yeah. We could..."
"Yeah... I mean, it shouldn't be too cold by now, right?" Resting her head on her fist, she chews on her bottom lip as she considers it. The only time she'd been through MacArthur park was the day she'd been late to work, but she hadn't seen a secluded garden like the one Tara is speaking of.
"I wouldn't think so," Tara replies, her eyes drawn to Shane's bottom lip, a spark of desire rising in her. She spears a parsnip, chewing on it reflexively. "We should go. You and me, test the water, see if you like the place, maybe ask about the lilacs and see if the garden will make them. I'm, um... I'm not really sure how it works, but it's worth a try."
"They could probably ship some in, if they don't have any here in town," Shane says with a chuckle. "It'd probably be kind of expensive, though... and yeah, we should check the water and see what else we'd like to do for decorations and stuff, where we should put the tables for the food and everything."
"Mr. Crowley is a florist, now, did you know?" Tara replies with a grin. "I'm sure he'd help with that. So... decoration, food, tables and, um... stuff. How do we want to make the guests a part of it?"
Taking a sip of her drink, Tara's words make Shane do a literal spit-take, a fine mist of beer spraying from her mouth in shock at her mention of Crowley's new career. Sputtering and coughing, she covers her mouth with her hand, fork landing on her plate with a clatter.
"Shane? Are you okay?" Tara's up and out of her seat in a moment, rubbing Shane's back soothingly, her brow furrowed with worry.
A few more choked coughs and then Shane is snickering. "You're fucking kidding me, right?" She mumbles, her voice impossibly hoarse and husky, eyes watering as she looks up at Tara, laughing in spite of very nearly drowning herself with her beer. "Crowley's a florist?"
Snickering is better than suffocating, although Tara's not sure the beer dressing is going to enhance Shane's dinner. "Yeah," she replies, her grin returning. "He likes plants. The one we gave him back in Fandom takes up a whole basement, now."
Shane's shoulders shake as she lets out a hearty bark of laughter, throwing her head back as she wipes at her eyes. "Unfuckingbelievable," she murmurs, shaking her head as she laughs.
It's been a long time since Tara's seen Shane laugh like this, so utterly carefree, and it brings a swell of emotion to her chest. Crowley does seem more suited to a nightclub, something of that variety - it's hard to picture him amongst the green and the blossoms. Then again, he is on vacation - perhaps its restful for him to be amongst the simplicity of plants, which allow him to be a man, not a demon. At least for a while.
As the last of her chuckles taper off, Shane wipes at her eyes with the heel of her hand, the occasional stray snicker escaping as she sits back in her seat. "Oh, damn," she sighs, laughter winding through her words and dissolving into more chuckles as she reaches for her beer. Well, she needs something to make her throat feel better after all that coughing.
"You are so beautiful," Tara whispers, dropping a kiss to the top of Shane's head before returning to her seat, her fond smile lingering as she watches Shane's laughter escape her, finding every opportunity it can to win its freedom from a woman who doesn't laugh enough. More now than she used to, but still not enough. Never enough. She'll thank Crowley for this, next time she sees him, for being the source of this moment of joy. She's forgiven him more than she would forgive anyone else already - but this is why. Because of these moments.
Tara's words catch her by surprise once again and she blinks in surprise and amazement as she looks over at her. "Right," she murmurs wryly, wiping at her mouth, though her eyes are sparkling and its not just from tears brought to her eyes due to all the coughing, cheeks flushed from the compliment as well as the coughing. "I'm so beautiful spitting beer all over myself."
"Well, the spitting was... not the beautiful part," Tara replies, with a soft laugh of her own. "Laughing, I mean. You have the most wonderful, beautiful laugh I've ever heard, Shane."
Reaching for her napkin, Shane wipes her mouth properly, green eyes peeking up at her from the folds of the dark green cloth, the barest hint of brightly red cheeks peeking out as well. "Thank you, baby," she murmurs, though the words are muffled by the napkin.
"You're welcome," Tara replies softly, knowing that Shane knows she means every word. "But, um... we were talking about the people? The guests, I mean? Because that's the bit that's going to take the most organisation..."
"You think so?" Shane asks, brows furrowing slightly as she places her napkin in her lap again. Picking up her fork, she takes another bite of her food and... huh. Beer added to the sauce...? Not so bad!
"Well, just figuring out what we want to have happen, and making sure everyone else understands. I want it to be more than just them watching us, you know? Because we're already married. This is about sharing it with them. Making them a part of it. ...Right?"
Shane nods slowly as she considers Tara's words. "Yeah, exactly," she murmurs. "We were gonna ask everybody to say something and Geoff and Ten wanted to say stuff, I know. We should maybe see if everybody else wanted to..."
"I'd like it if everyone said something," Tara admits. "I mean, I know they're not all public speakers? But... yeah. I'd really like that. Except we'll need to give them time, then. To figure out what they want to say."
"Right, right, totally," Shane replies, nodding as she spears a bit of vegetable on her fork. "If we -- I mean, should we do invitations first or... or what? So people have time to figure out? Or should we call everybody we want to be there first and let them know we'd like them to say something?"
"Um." Tara replies eloquently, lapsing into silence for a few minutes as she eats, thinking this over. Paper invitations are traditional, and Tara likes the idea of them - but she can't think of any friends they have that are artists, and she's not confident enough on a computer to design anything. There are professionals who do that sort of thing, but they cost money, and if Tara's about to lose her job and start up a new business, money might be at a premium. Calling everybody seems less formal, but more personal, at the same time... "I... don't know," Tara says finally. "What do you think, love?"
Setting her fork carefully on her plate, Shane picks up her beer, taking another sip as she sits back in her seat, a pensive frown on her face. "I don't know," she echoes. "I mean... fuck, we don't even know what we want on them, do we? I mean, besides the words and stuff?" Sighing, she scratches her free hand through her hair. As simple as the idea had sounded initially, it's starting to become more and more complex the longer they think about it.
"I don't even know if we know the words and stuff," Tara replies, her lips twisting in wry thoughtfulness. "Although, um, designing an invitation would kinda force us to iron out those details, huh?" A sudden thought strikes her, and she giggles. "You know, people used to send message with flowers. Just bunches of flowers. And the meanings of the flowers and the ribbons they were tied with told them everything they needed to know. That's my kind of invitation. But, um, with translation, of course. Because otherwise most people would probably just say 'ooh, pretty', and, um... yeah."
Shane chuckles as she picks up her fork, taking another bite of her food as she considers. "Well... maybe we could tie a ribbon to each of the flowers and each of the ribbons has a word and all the words make up the invitation?" She suggests, quirking her eyebrow at Tara.
"Oooooh!" Tara says, putting down her fork to bouce excitedly. "I like that! That's cool!"
Another hearty laugh as she watches her wife bounce. "And maybe it could be different flowers for everybody? Something that's just for them?" She adds.
"Yeah," Tara replies, trying to suppress her temptation to leap up and go find the book that holds flower meanings. "I mean, the invitation flowers would be the same, but the centre flower, maybe, would be something just for them. Something that represents what they mean to us, maybe?"
"Yeah... that's a great idea, baby," Shane says, smiling brightly as she nods.
"We are brilliant," Tara decides, popping another vegetable into her mouth with great satisfaction, and lifting her beer bottle to toast her wife. A plan. They have a plan. A plan-like, planny plan of planning. She may be overly excited - but she's willing to live with that!
Leaning across, Shane taps her bottle lightly against the side of Tara's, eyes sparkling as she takes a sip of her beer. "We're brilliant," she agrees, "and I love you."
"I love you," Tara replies, as soon as her mouth is clear, taking a sip of her own. It's like drinking liquid Shane, the taste she only ever associates with her wife, and just that thought makes her giggle. "Think we can pull this off in two weeks, love?"
"I think we can, because I know we won't have to do this all by ourselves," Shane replies, nodding deliberately. She's impossibly grateful and still deeply amazed by that fact, that truth - that they have an entire family that loves them that much and would be completely willing to help them pull something like this off with just two weeks' notice.
And that brings everyone into involvement - which is what they want after all. "We have the best family," Tara whispers, her smile bright and broad and sweetly wondering. "The very, very best."
"We do, baby," she agrees, setting her beer down to reach for Tara's hand, gently brushing a kiss to the backs of her fingers. "This is gonna be incredible, because it's not just us... it's them, too, helping us make this happen... and I know that as soon as you tell everybody about your idea for the restaurant, they'll do anything they can to help us with that, too."
They probably will, and that stuns Tara more than anything else. Buffy had declared that the Scoobies were Family to Tara - but she'd always been 'Willow and' - and once she left Willow, she lost that family. Her family here is hers, loving and supporting her because of who she is, and she's still not sure what she's done to deserve this life. Yes, bad things happen to them - they always do, that's inescapable. But the good far, far outweighs the bad. "I... oh, gods, Shane... I don't know what to say. I... I love you. I love them. I love us. I love everything right now."
"Me, too, baby," Shane murmurs, eyes shining as she gazes at her wife. When she turned up in Fandom, she'd had a backpack full of her stuff and that was all. No money, no friends, no family, no roots, no job. She has all of that - everything she'd never even thought she could dream for, because it just seemed like too much for someone like her to ever have - and she has it because she worked for it, piecing her life and her family together with her own hands and there's no better feeling in the world than that.
Shane blinks for a moment as the spoon is lowered into her field of vision and she lets out a quiet chuckle. "Sure," she murmurs, leaning forward to taste a bit of whatever strange new concoction it is that her wife is formulating in the kitchen. "Mmm! That's amazing... what is that?"
"I'm... not sure," Tara replies, wrinkling her nose with a little laugh. "It started off as a pesto sauce, with basil and cashews, but then I decided I'd rather do something Asian than Italian, so it got lemongrass and kaffir leaves added, and coconut milk, and... yeah." She takes a taste herself, more confident now that she's got Shane's approval. "You, um... you remember how we were talking about what I, um... what I might do next semester? If I'm not teaching?"
"Yeah...?" Shane says, brows creasing as she looks up at Tara, the faint shadows of uncertainty and fear flickering in her eyes again.
"No, Shane..." Tara murmurs, a reassuring smile crossing her face as she leans over to press a kiss to Shane's forehead. "No, I... when I was thinking about my options before, it was all shaped by the Powers. Like... it had to be something that helped me in that work, you know? And now... now I'm free. I can do anything I want. Anything I want."
"Yeah," Shane replies, smiling brightly, Tara's kiss as well as her words helping to banish the last clinging vestiges of that fear. "You can. Whatever you want, baby."
"You... do you remember, a while back, I joked with someone that I should set up a restaurant, and inflict the weird things I create on, um... on people? People other than you, I mean? And you said... you said that I really could, because they're wonderful?"
"Yeah, I do," she murmurs, sitting up a bit straighter in her seat, her expression open and enthused. "Is that what you wanna do, baby? You wanna open up a restaurant?"
"I..." Tara shrugs one shoulder, her smile tentative and unsure as she circles the couch and comes to sit next to Shane, spoon still balanced in her hand. "Maybe? Or a catering company or... something like that. I want to feed people. And I want to know that if anyone's homeless or hungry, they can... they can come and be fed, and not be afraid. Like Rogue's kids, you know?" She remembers being hungry and just not having the money to eat, remembers trying to make a single meal last her whole day, filling up on water to make her stomach stop rumbling.
Shane nods as she scoots a bit closer, reaching out to gently smooth her hand over Tara's hair. "It sounds like a good idea, Tara, really," she says reassuringly. "You're a fantastic cook and I mean, you're always talking about how you cook too much, right? This would be perfect for you..."
Tara's smile grows more confident as Shane reassures her. "I know it's impractical. I mean, where would I work? I don't have the money to start up my own restaurant, and I don't have the qualifications to work anywhere that already exists. But... but I was hoping maybe... maybe you'd help me figure it out? How to do this? And then - because I always cook too much - I could maybe just send any leftovers to Rogue, for the shelter. Maybe."
As Tara has been talking, Shane's mind has been working, trying to figure out all the particulars, and when her wife asks her if she'd help, her smile is broad and bright and sweet. "I'll do anything I can to help you, baby," she murmurs, fingers gently stroking through Tara's hair. "If this is what you really want, then I'll do whatever I can to make it happen..."
"Thank you," Tara whispers. "I love you so much, Shane. And you can help me figure out which of my recipes are the best? And maybe if..." Her mind casts over the places already in town, wondering if any of them would serve - and the people she knows who might help. "The Tea Leaf, maybe. If I talked to Mr. Phale... I mean, it's not open for dinner at the moment, but it is open during lunch time. Except it only serves snacks, really, not lunch. And good, healthy, vegetarian food sounds like the sort of thing that would fit in at the Tea Leaf, right?"
"I love you, too... and it sounds perfect, Tara," Shane replies, smiling. "One of the biggest things is finding a location with the right kitchens and servers and all that stuff. If Mr. Phale would let you work out of his place, that's one of the hardest steps checked off the list first thing."
"I'll call him tomorrow," Tara says, nodding in decision. "Or drop by the Tea Leaf and suggest it to him, maybe. We were talking about me doing tarot readings there once a week, too... And I want to start volunteering at the shelter. And I know this is all... I know it's a lot? But... but I want to be doing something, Shane. I want to be helping, and I don't know how to help."
"It is a lot," she agrees, hand slipping down to rest between Tara's shoulder blades, gently stroking back and forth. "But we can just take it a step at a time, okay? I know you wanna help ... and we will. It's just gonna take us a little while to get the groundwork laid out, okay?"
"Yeah," Tara replies. "I... Bobby came over, did I tell you? And he said something about... about me reminding him of Xavier. The one who runs the school that Rogue was raising money for? About accepting everyone, and trying to help them, and... and I know I couldn't now. Or not yet, at least. But... but I've got a lifetime. That's what I want to do, Shane. In the long run. I want... I want a place where everyone is welcome, no matter how different they are, where everyone helps each other, where we teach people to be proud of their strengths. That's who I want to be."
Shane's smile is warm and tender as she leans over and presses a kiss to Tara's cheek and another to her temple. "You can do that... we can do that, love," she whispers. "You can do anything you want, now... and I'll be there to help you make it real."
Relaxing against Shane, Tara snuggles into her wife. "And you'll be the mother of this amazing unified theory that links together Quantum Physics and magic in ways nobody ever has before," she murmurs. "And our house will be huge, with lots of bedrooms, and filled with people, all the time. Sabrina, and our other kids, and the ones who have chosen us, all working together..."
Smiling, Shane presses a kiss to the top of Tara's head. "It's gonna be a beautiful life, baby... and it's gonna be ours," she whispers.
"Mmmm," Tara hums happily, images filling her mind, promising a lifetime's worth of joy - and a life that makes a difference. Then, turning her head, she kisses Shane and stands. The food can't be left for too long - she wants it to simmer down a little, but not to catch and burn, and she's already left it longer than she had planned to. "I need to stir it," she explains. And then, "come with me?"
"Sure," Shane replies, closing her book and setting it aside as she stands up from the couch, following Tara into the kitchen. Helping her wife when she's cooking is easily one of her favorite things and that's only second to spending time with Tara anywhere else besides the kitchen.
"If were weren't already I would beg you to marry me, Shane McCutcheon," Tara says, casting her wife a sweet, loving smile as she stirs the nameless-but-tasty concoction on the stove, rescuing it in time to stop it from catching on the bottom of the pan. The sauce is very thick - destined originally to be a pesto - and her plan is to stir it through the oven-baked vegetables that Shane had helped her to cut up earlier, due to finish baking within the next ten minutes or so.
"Oh, hey, that reminds me," Shane says as she opens the fridge and grabs herself a beer. "I told Mom and Dad about our ideas for the handfasting thing..."
"One for me too, love?" Tara asks, smothering her grin and keeping her eyes fixed on the food in front of her. "What did they say?"
Shane was in the process of closing the fridge door when Tara asked her to get a beer for her, too, and she turns, surprised, as she hears that question. "You... you want a beer?" She sputters, brows creasing with uncertainty.
"Yeah," Tara replies, casting a mischevious look over her shoulder. She'd expected Shane to react much this way. "Yeah, I do. I wanna see how it tastes when it's not filtered through your lips. I like it there, right?"
"Well, um, yeah - I -- I just..." Shane spots the mischievous look but still, she can't stop blinking in amazement. It takes her a good five or ten seconds before she can finally shake it off. "Uhh, sure, yeah. Okay." Swinging the fridge door open again, she grabs a second bottle of beer from the six pack sitting inside and shuts the door, bringing both bottles over to the counter and fishing in a nearby drawer for the opener. She opens one and sets it by the stove for Tara and then opens her own, picking it up and cradling it in her hand, though her attention is focused on Tara and her beer.
Tara picks up the beer, the shape of the bottle familiar to her hand from the many times she's brought one to Shane. She's never raised it to her own lips, though, and that's what she does now. Rich, yeasty scent, like bread baking - the beer bread she had made with one of these same beers. It smells terrible when it goes stale, but right now, fresh and bubbling, the smell's actually quite pleasant. It smells like Shane, tastes just as she expected it to from the hints she'd tasted in Shane's mouth. Not her drink, and it never will be - but she doesn't have to be anyone's Good Girl now, and if she wants to try it, she can. The world won't end, nobody will strike her down, no harsh karmic consequences are going to follow her for this indiscretion. From outside the two of them it must seem like such a small thing, but for Tara it's a vehement statement, as loud and clear as the first time she wore a pair of trousers outside the house.
Shane is probably one of the few people who knows just how truly signficant a thing this really is. They don't make a big deal of it when they're out with other people, just simply saying that Tara prefers wine if she drinks anything at all, but she knows just how important, how huge, a step this is for her wife. "So... what do you think?" She asks, biting her lip, eyes intently watching Tara's face.
"I think I still prefer it in bread," Tara admits, leaving the food for a moment to step over to Shane, invading her personal space for a long, lingering kiss. "Or in you." And then she takes another sip, because she can, her eyes warm and her smile soft as the bottle is lowered and she looks at her wife.
"I am... so... proud of you," Shane whispers, gazing steadily into Tara's eyes, her own soft and warm, impossibly adoring and proud as she looks at her wife. Leaning in she presses a soft kiss to Tara's forehead and then rests her forehead against Tara's, free hand reaching up to lightly touch her cheek. "And I love you so much."
Tara's eyes slide closed as she leans gently against Shane's hand, feeling the warmth of Shane's love and acceptance, knowing that if she'd gone her whole life frightened to try it Shane would have supported her in her choice - and that the only reason she can push past this fear, the barrier dissolving as she does so and leaving no traces behind is because Shane has been so supportive. Shane has taught her to be a new kind of Good Girl, the kind that makes up her own rules, that decides for herself what is right and what is wrong, on greater evidence than the flimsy 'Good Girls Don't' that governed so much of her childhood. "Thank you," she whispers. "I love you, Shane."
Shane sets her beer aside on the counter and then reaches for Tara's, taking it and setting it up on the counter beside her own - they'll probably get mixed up as to which one belongs to whom, but that doesn't make the slightest bit of difference, now. She slips both of her arms around her wife, nestling close to her, head settling into the hollow of Tara's throat, hands gently stroking over her wife's back. She's only ever seen glimpses of Tara's past when they were dreamfasting, only had the handful of stories that Tara had told her to go on, but she knows that her wife has had reason to feel as though she should be afraid. It's taken all this time to prove to her that the fears were just paper dragons, nothing to be scared of at all. Of course, Tara's father had made her believe she should be afraid of the entire world and everything and everyone else in it, but it was merely a way to control her, make sure that she would rely on him no matter what. By asking Tara not to accept that job at Brookhaven, she's not trying to control her, simply protect her - her fears are very big and very genuine when it come to that place, especially after the riots. She rarely ever asks for anything but this meant enough to her that she had to ask, had to say something.
Oddly, though, Tara's grateful that they didn't meet sooner than Fandom. She came so very far in the three years with Willow, leaving only lingering, insistent remnants of the fears that used to paralyse her. She's grateful that Shane never saw her like that, so worthless and paralysed. The image of Tara when she went a little mad, after Crowley pushed her too far, still lingers in Shane, haunting her - she's grateful that the painfully shy, stuttering creature she had been doesn't linger there as well. Shane's greatest fears seem to revolve around her, and that would only give Shane another demon to haunt her crowded head. She leans against Shane, her own hands tracing runes for strength and peace on Shane's shoulders and over the Sanskrit tattoos.
If Shane had a choice between shy and insane, she would take shy any day of the week... Tara hadn't been that bad when they'd first met, though she heard occasional hints of the stutter after that and couldn't help but feel that her wife had come a very, very long way. She thought the blushing and stammers were adorable, but she knew that it made Tara feel horribly uncomfortable and insecure, so she tried her best not to laugh or do anything else that might only make Tara's embarrassment worse. She knew her wife had come very, very far and she'd had only a very small part in helping, but she was still impossibly, unspeakably proud of Tara, nonetheless. Tara's hands move over her back with what seems some kind of careful sort of purpose, a bit more rhyme and sense to them than her own idle, sweeping patterns. "Mm... what is that, baby?" She asks softly.
With a soft, amused sound, Tara retraces the patterns and explains. "Jera, for peace, and in celebration of getting what we've worked for. Eihwaz, for strength and trust. Berkano, for personal growth and liberation. Dagaz, for happiness, and... and Wunjo. For the recognition of worth."
Shane rests her head on Tara's shoulder, eyes closed as she concentrates on the symbols as Tara traces them on her back. She'll never be able to remember them, but... "Do you think... do you think you could write them down on a piece of paper for me?" She asks, biting her lip as she nuzzles Tara's throat.
"Of course," Tara replies, with a soft noise of pleasure for the brush at her throat. "You want another thing to study, baby?" Shane's already trying to memorise herbs - name and scent and what they do, and now that Spring has come Tara fully intends on taking her out for a nature walk, making sure she can recognise them in their pre-prepared forms. "I can get you runestones, if you want..."
"Yeah, to study, too, but... I think you just gave me the idea for my next tattoo," Shane whispers, lips drawing back into a smile against Tara's skin.
"Yeah?" Tara replies, feeling that smile and leaning back to see it, studying Shane's face and eyes. "I have to take the vegetables out of the oven, baby... tell me about the tattoo?" She hates stepping away, but the food calls, rich scents filling the air.
"Yeah," Shane nods, smiling as she leans in and steals a kiss. "I'm thinking I'll get all of those runes on my back, under my Sanskrit... what do you think?" She asks. After a moment, she frowns a little. "Do you think that would be too much? I mean, I don't have much room left..."
"We'll draw it in henna, first," Tara assures her. "To be sure. There are, um... there are twenty-four runes, though. How about we sit down, after dinner, and go through them? Pick which ones you like?" Vegetables rescued from the oven, just starting to turn a deep brown on their points, and the pesto-cum-oriental sauce to stir through them is done and the heat switched off. She could dirty a serving bowl, but it is just them... so she tips the vegetables into the sauce, stirring them through, watching in fascination as the greenish gloop coats them. Looks odd, but she has every faith that it will taste wonderful.
"I liked the ones you traced on me, baby," Shane says, looking a little bashful as she picks up her beer and takes a sip. She watches Tara working, stirring the sauce and vegetables mixing together and chuckles. It looks very odd, but it smells delicious, anyway. Setting her beer aside, she fetches a pair of plates from the cabinet as well as some silverware, setting them beside the stove so that Tara can dish the food out when she feels it's ready.
The runes Tara traced were appropriate for the moment - but if she were to choose five runes to represent Shane, she'd make a few substitutions. It's Shane's body, though, Shane's choice - and an excuse for Tara to draw on Shane, which she loves doing. She can't identify why, exactly, but it fills her with a deep and abiding pleasure to mark her love onto Shane's skin. "The handfasting," she murmurs, remembering. Dishing out the vegetable concoction, Tara casts a curious glance Shane's way. "I'm sorry, baby, I distracted you from what you were saying about CJ and Ten...?"
Shane blinks at Tara for a moment, shaking her head at the quick switch back to their previous topic. "Um," she chuckles, frowning as she tries to remember what it was she'd been planning to tell Tara. "Oh! Wait, that's right. Mom came into the shop to see me on Sunday and I told her about our idea and... she said she'd help get the permits for the park..."
"Permits," Tara echoes. She closes her eyes and winces, a self-depricating smile following on its heels. "I didn't even think about permits. Did, um... did we still want May? Which isn't far away, actually..." She picks up both plates, trusting Shane to bring the silverware and beers as they make their way over to the table.
"Yeah, I mean, I think it would be good. It should be warm, but not too hot, yet..." Shane murmured, nodding as she swipes the beers and silverware off of the counter, grabbing a pair of cloth napkins and draping them over her forearm as she follows Tara to the dinner table. "Dad was saying we should do it somewhere where there's lots of lilac..."
"Lilac, huh? Why lilac? I mean, it's pretty, but... does he have a special secret reason?" Tara steals a kiss before she settles down at the table, taking her first bite of the concoction she'd made. It worked, most definitely, the flavours rich and complex. But if she's going to do this catering/restaurant idea, it'll need a name. Something to think about later, although she won't deny her mind is already turning over ideas.
"I don't know," Shane replies with a chuckle as she joins her wife at the table. She takes a bite of the food and hums, delighted at the unusual but very delicious combination of flavors on her tongue. "He just said it would be brilliant and that there had to be lots of lilac."
Giggling, Tara wrinkles her nose. "Lilac there will be, then, I guess!" She spears a piece of pumpkin, and looks at Shane consideringly. "Beltaine. Um... May 2nd. It's a Wiccan fertility festival. People used to get handfasted then, and jump over the embers of a bonfire to bring them luck and fertility and, um... yeah. Do you think... do you think that would be a good day? Except it doesn't give us a lot of time, so the end of the month might be better..."
Taking another bite of her food, Shane considers the question as she chews. It would be nice to have the ceremony on a proper Wiccan 'holiday', but Tara was right - it really didn't give them a lot of time for planning. "Mom said she'd do whatever she could to help," she says after she swallows her food. "I mean, it's not gonna be a really big ceremony or anything, but... she could probably help us get everything all set up by May 2, if we really wanted..."
"I have pretty much limitless faith in CJ's ability to organise anything," Tara replies, her voice soft and fond. "How much do we really need to organise, though? I mean, getting people to show up, obviously. But we don't need fancy clothes or anything..."
"And you're doing the food," Shane adds, leaning her head on her free hand as she considers ideas. CJ would probably say that one of the best ways to get the word out about Tara's restaurant plan would be to have some kind of sampling dinner, and the handfasting would be a good way of unveiling the idea, but that's mixing business with their private life a little too much for her taste.
"I am," Tara nods, grinning. "We'd talked about having everyone we invite say something, maybe? Or be involved somehow?" They're only going to invite a dozen people, at most, the numbers kept down by the fact that they intend to be skyclad. "Oh! Shane! In MacArthur Park - Pamela's garden! That's the perfect place! I don't think you would have seen it yet, it's very new, but... she kind of asked me to look after it. The dryad I met, remember? It's so beautiful there, and there's a kind of hedge around it, so people from outside wouldn't see in," which is a consideration when planning to get naked in a public park.
"Oh, right," Shane replies, nodding, lips drawing back into a smile. "That would be perfect, only... you said you wanted there to be water, didn't you?"
"Yeah," Tara nods. "A bridge over water. There's a stream there, though - not with a bridge, but there is a stream, and I bet we could get something set up..." Xander, if he were here, would build them a bridge. There are times she misses him for more than the way he made her laugh.
"We could always stand in the stream?" Shane suggests with a chuckle, only partly serious.
Tara giggles, but cocks her head to consider this idea. "I guess it depends how cold the water is, huh? It's not that deep - maybe calf height? That's a guess, I didn't test or anything. But... yeah. We could..."
"Yeah... I mean, it shouldn't be too cold by now, right?" Resting her head on her fist, she chews on her bottom lip as she considers it. The only time she'd been through MacArthur park was the day she'd been late to work, but she hadn't seen a secluded garden like the one Tara is speaking of.
"I wouldn't think so," Tara replies, her eyes drawn to Shane's bottom lip, a spark of desire rising in her. She spears a parsnip, chewing on it reflexively. "We should go. You and me, test the water, see if you like the place, maybe ask about the lilacs and see if the garden will make them. I'm, um... I'm not really sure how it works, but it's worth a try."
"They could probably ship some in, if they don't have any here in town," Shane says with a chuckle. "It'd probably be kind of expensive, though... and yeah, we should check the water and see what else we'd like to do for decorations and stuff, where we should put the tables for the food and everything."
"Mr. Crowley is a florist, now, did you know?" Tara replies with a grin. "I'm sure he'd help with that. So... decoration, food, tables and, um... stuff. How do we want to make the guests a part of it?"
Taking a sip of her drink, Tara's words make Shane do a literal spit-take, a fine mist of beer spraying from her mouth in shock at her mention of Crowley's new career. Sputtering and coughing, she covers her mouth with her hand, fork landing on her plate with a clatter.
"Shane? Are you okay?" Tara's up and out of her seat in a moment, rubbing Shane's back soothingly, her brow furrowed with worry.
A few more choked coughs and then Shane is snickering. "You're fucking kidding me, right?" She mumbles, her voice impossibly hoarse and husky, eyes watering as she looks up at Tara, laughing in spite of very nearly drowning herself with her beer. "Crowley's a florist?"
Snickering is better than suffocating, although Tara's not sure the beer dressing is going to enhance Shane's dinner. "Yeah," she replies, her grin returning. "He likes plants. The one we gave him back in Fandom takes up a whole basement, now."
Shane's shoulders shake as she lets out a hearty bark of laughter, throwing her head back as she wipes at her eyes. "Unfuckingbelievable," she murmurs, shaking her head as she laughs.
It's been a long time since Tara's seen Shane laugh like this, so utterly carefree, and it brings a swell of emotion to her chest. Crowley does seem more suited to a nightclub, something of that variety - it's hard to picture him amongst the green and the blossoms. Then again, he is on vacation - perhaps its restful for him to be amongst the simplicity of plants, which allow him to be a man, not a demon. At least for a while.
As the last of her chuckles taper off, Shane wipes at her eyes with the heel of her hand, the occasional stray snicker escaping as she sits back in her seat. "Oh, damn," she sighs, laughter winding through her words and dissolving into more chuckles as she reaches for her beer. Well, she needs something to make her throat feel better after all that coughing.
"You are so beautiful," Tara whispers, dropping a kiss to the top of Shane's head before returning to her seat, her fond smile lingering as she watches Shane's laughter escape her, finding every opportunity it can to win its freedom from a woman who doesn't laugh enough. More now than she used to, but still not enough. Never enough. She'll thank Crowley for this, next time she sees him, for being the source of this moment of joy. She's forgiven him more than she would forgive anyone else already - but this is why. Because of these moments.
Tara's words catch her by surprise once again and she blinks in surprise and amazement as she looks over at her. "Right," she murmurs wryly, wiping at her mouth, though her eyes are sparkling and its not just from tears brought to her eyes due to all the coughing, cheeks flushed from the compliment as well as the coughing. "I'm so beautiful spitting beer all over myself."
"Well, the spitting was... not the beautiful part," Tara replies, with a soft laugh of her own. "Laughing, I mean. You have the most wonderful, beautiful laugh I've ever heard, Shane."
Reaching for her napkin, Shane wipes her mouth properly, green eyes peeking up at her from the folds of the dark green cloth, the barest hint of brightly red cheeks peeking out as well. "Thank you, baby," she murmurs, though the words are muffled by the napkin.
"You're welcome," Tara replies softly, knowing that Shane knows she means every word. "But, um... we were talking about the people? The guests, I mean? Because that's the bit that's going to take the most organisation..."
"You think so?" Shane asks, brows furrowing slightly as she places her napkin in her lap again. Picking up her fork, she takes another bite of her food and... huh. Beer added to the sauce...? Not so bad!
"Well, just figuring out what we want to have happen, and making sure everyone else understands. I want it to be more than just them watching us, you know? Because we're already married. This is about sharing it with them. Making them a part of it. ...Right?"
Shane nods slowly as she considers Tara's words. "Yeah, exactly," she murmurs. "We were gonna ask everybody to say something and Geoff and Ten wanted to say stuff, I know. We should maybe see if everybody else wanted to..."
"I'd like it if everyone said something," Tara admits. "I mean, I know they're not all public speakers? But... yeah. I'd really like that. Except we'll need to give them time, then. To figure out what they want to say."
"Right, right, totally," Shane replies, nodding as she spears a bit of vegetable on her fork. "If we -- I mean, should we do invitations first or... or what? So people have time to figure out? Or should we call everybody we want to be there first and let them know we'd like them to say something?"
"Um." Tara replies eloquently, lapsing into silence for a few minutes as she eats, thinking this over. Paper invitations are traditional, and Tara likes the idea of them - but she can't think of any friends they have that are artists, and she's not confident enough on a computer to design anything. There are professionals who do that sort of thing, but they cost money, and if Tara's about to lose her job and start up a new business, money might be at a premium. Calling everybody seems less formal, but more personal, at the same time... "I... don't know," Tara says finally. "What do you think, love?"
Setting her fork carefully on her plate, Shane picks up her beer, taking another sip as she sits back in her seat, a pensive frown on her face. "I don't know," she echoes. "I mean... fuck, we don't even know what we want on them, do we? I mean, besides the words and stuff?" Sighing, she scratches her free hand through her hair. As simple as the idea had sounded initially, it's starting to become more and more complex the longer they think about it.
"I don't even know if we know the words and stuff," Tara replies, her lips twisting in wry thoughtfulness. "Although, um, designing an invitation would kinda force us to iron out those details, huh?" A sudden thought strikes her, and she giggles. "You know, people used to send message with flowers. Just bunches of flowers. And the meanings of the flowers and the ribbons they were tied with told them everything they needed to know. That's my kind of invitation. But, um, with translation, of course. Because otherwise most people would probably just say 'ooh, pretty', and, um... yeah."
Shane chuckles as she picks up her fork, taking another bite of her food as she considers. "Well... maybe we could tie a ribbon to each of the flowers and each of the ribbons has a word and all the words make up the invitation?" She suggests, quirking her eyebrow at Tara.
"Oooooh!" Tara says, putting down her fork to bouce excitedly. "I like that! That's cool!"
Another hearty laugh as she watches her wife bounce. "And maybe it could be different flowers for everybody? Something that's just for them?" She adds.
"Yeah," Tara replies, trying to suppress her temptation to leap up and go find the book that holds flower meanings. "I mean, the invitation flowers would be the same, but the centre flower, maybe, would be something just for them. Something that represents what they mean to us, maybe?"
"Yeah... that's a great idea, baby," Shane says, smiling brightly as she nods.
"We are brilliant," Tara decides, popping another vegetable into her mouth with great satisfaction, and lifting her beer bottle to toast her wife. A plan. They have a plan. A plan-like, planny plan of planning. She may be overly excited - but she's willing to live with that!
Leaning across, Shane taps her bottle lightly against the side of Tara's, eyes sparkling as she takes a sip of her beer. "We're brilliant," she agrees, "and I love you."
"I love you," Tara replies, as soon as her mouth is clear, taking a sip of her own. It's like drinking liquid Shane, the taste she only ever associates with her wife, and just that thought makes her giggle. "Think we can pull this off in two weeks, love?"
"I think we can, because I know we won't have to do this all by ourselves," Shane replies, nodding deliberately. She's impossibly grateful and still deeply amazed by that fact, that truth - that they have an entire family that loves them that much and would be completely willing to help them pull something like this off with just two weeks' notice.
And that brings everyone into involvement - which is what they want after all. "We have the best family," Tara whispers, her smile bright and broad and sweetly wondering. "The very, very best."
"We do, baby," she agrees, setting her beer down to reach for Tara's hand, gently brushing a kiss to the backs of her fingers. "This is gonna be incredible, because it's not just us... it's them, too, helping us make this happen... and I know that as soon as you tell everybody about your idea for the restaurant, they'll do anything they can to help us with that, too."
They probably will, and that stuns Tara more than anything else. Buffy had declared that the Scoobies were Family to Tara - but she'd always been 'Willow and' - and once she left Willow, she lost that family. Her family here is hers, loving and supporting her because of who she is, and she's still not sure what she's done to deserve this life. Yes, bad things happen to them - they always do, that's inescapable. But the good far, far outweighs the bad. "I... oh, gods, Shane... I don't know what to say. I... I love you. I love them. I love us. I love everything right now."
"Me, too, baby," Shane murmurs, eyes shining as she gazes at her wife. When she turned up in Fandom, she'd had a backpack full of her stuff and that was all. No money, no friends, no family, no roots, no job. She has all of that - everything she'd never even thought she could dream for, because it just seemed like too much for someone like her to ever have - and she has it because she worked for it, piecing her life and her family together with her own hands and there's no better feeling in the world than that.