August 17 -- The spaces between my fingers
Dear Diary,
Someday, I will learn to trust Oliver completely and not be afraid of losing him.
Last night, we traveled up to Southshore to inspect Adeline's grave and make sure it wasn't disturbed. I shouldn't have been surprised that it was or that Oliver reacted in the way he did: falling to his knees, holding onto the headstone, saying "Addy, oh Addy" again and again. I think I would've let him carry on like that for as long as he needed, if the grave hadn't been full to overflowing with Blight...not Oliver's Blight, but the Forsaken one. The one that kills everything ever and enslaves it to Sylvanas Windrunner.
So, I dragged him away. He was furious. Furious. I hadn't felt him this angry in a long time, and damnit, my only response was envy and feelings of inadequacy. Somehow, some stupid part of me was inordinately bothered that my husband was so angry over the woman he wasn't even married to anymore, and it's because I thought I couldn't even compete with her.
Here's what I thought: that thirty years of marriage trumps one year, that undead trumps alive, that Adeline trumps Senkha.
At some point, Oliver broke through to me and told me that no. Saving his life trumps not saving his life. Seeing the very darkest part of him and loving him anyway trumps not. And, of course, I felt ridiculous for ever thinking otherwise. Why would I think otherwise? Simply because I don't have the confidence to understand that Oliver's love for me is unshakable. I've done so many things that could have destroyed it, but still it remains: constant, unflickering, unending.
I need to keep remembering that. No matter what, my Oliver loves me. And I love him. I'm his wife. And that isn't going to change, no matter what.
We spent the night here in Hearthglen and we'll be traveling to Menethil Harbor later today to meet up with the Sigil there for some relief efforts. I'm hoping that I can sneak away sometimes during the day, take Emrys up around Andorhal, and scope out the Bordros ruins for any signs of that Tatters creature. I'd rather eliminate him before he becomes a threat, but that's probably not okay. Still, no reason I can't look.
-S.
Also, Alerahn has returned. He's undead now.
Someday, I will learn to trust Oliver completely and not be afraid of losing him.
Last night, we traveled up to Southshore to inspect Adeline's grave and make sure it wasn't disturbed. I shouldn't have been surprised that it was or that Oliver reacted in the way he did: falling to his knees, holding onto the headstone, saying "Addy, oh Addy" again and again. I think I would've let him carry on like that for as long as he needed, if the grave hadn't been full to overflowing with Blight...not Oliver's Blight, but the Forsaken one. The one that kills everything ever and enslaves it to Sylvanas Windrunner.
So, I dragged him away. He was furious. Furious. I hadn't felt him this angry in a long time, and damnit, my only response was envy and feelings of inadequacy. Somehow, some stupid part of me was inordinately bothered that my husband was so angry over the woman he wasn't even married to anymore, and it's because I thought I couldn't even compete with her.
Here's what I thought: that thirty years of marriage trumps one year, that undead trumps alive, that Adeline trumps Senkha.
At some point, Oliver broke through to me and told me that no. Saving his life trumps not saving his life. Seeing the very darkest part of him and loving him anyway trumps not. And, of course, I felt ridiculous for ever thinking otherwise. Why would I think otherwise? Simply because I don't have the confidence to understand that Oliver's love for me is unshakable. I've done so many things that could have destroyed it, but still it remains: constant, unflickering, unending.
I need to keep remembering that. No matter what, my Oliver loves me. And I love him. I'm his wife. And that isn't going to change, no matter what.
We spent the night here in Hearthglen and we'll be traveling to Menethil Harbor later today to meet up with the Sigil there for some relief efforts. I'm hoping that I can sneak away sometimes during the day, take Emrys up around Andorhal, and scope out the Bordros ruins for any signs of that Tatters creature. I'd rather eliminate him before he becomes a threat, but that's probably not okay. Still, no reason I can't look.
-S.
Also, Alerahn has returned. He's undead now.