October 3 -- Familiarity
Dear Diary,
Perhaps the most unforgivable side effect of the last year is that I've stopped feeling.
Or maybe it's not so unforgivable. I'm not sure. It's not really that I've stopped feeling so much as I've stopped reacting with horror and heartbreak at every tragedy, betrayal, and loss. I think it's because so much happened, so when I hear about something horrific, nothing connects the way it ought. I'm able to look at things with a clear and logical (and frequently, unbiased) eye and search for solutions beyond the wringing of hands and asking "What am I to do!?"
Yesterday, we learned via Sigil comm that Lassair and Balderos' house was destroyed by Olendar, who purported to be Lassair's father figure adopted parent thing (side note: I'm pretty pleased that Dad is actually a good person with a gruff exterior instead of a monster with a kindly old man exterior). It was hard to really get an idea of what happened, but if I'm not mistaken, this father figure adopted parent thing was holding the life of Lassair's unborn child over her head while performing alchemical experiments on black dragon whelps and/or children (from Ziichi's description, I guessed it was probably children of the Horde).
It's horrific, experimenting on children of any race, but I can understand his motivations. They aren't exactly stable or logical, but I can understand where they'd be born: what better way to defeat one's enemies than to ensure that their next generation doesn't age to adulthood? They lose soldiers, the Alliance rises victorious, and the perpetual war ends.
Aside from that such experiments are on par with the Scourge/Forsaken (why is there any distinction any longer? They merely traded a king for a queen) and don't take into account the kinds of rage the parents of lost children can bring down on people, I can see the logic.
Of course, that doesn't mean I think it's alright by any stretch of the imagination. It's horrible and vile and disgusting and many other adjectives. I can just see where he was going with it is all. It's pretty universally agreed that he has to die, but Lightdamnit, I'm not really able to muster any righteous anger over any of it: children being endangered, houses being destroyed, the Sigil being betrayed. It feels like I've seen all of this before, probably because I have seen all of this before, and much closer to home.
Except for the house being destroyed part, that's a new one. Somehow, all the evil in the world tends to avoid our house, like it's sacred and off-limits. Of course, now that I've said that, a meteor is inevitable, yet I still think that my reaction to that will simply be to shrug and say "Oh well."
Light, I'm horrible, aren't I?
-S.
Perhaps the most unforgivable side effect of the last year is that I've stopped feeling.
Or maybe it's not so unforgivable. I'm not sure. It's not really that I've stopped feeling so much as I've stopped reacting with horror and heartbreak at every tragedy, betrayal, and loss. I think it's because so much happened, so when I hear about something horrific, nothing connects the way it ought. I'm able to look at things with a clear and logical (and frequently, unbiased) eye and search for solutions beyond the wringing of hands and asking "What am I to do!?"
Yesterday, we learned via Sigil comm that Lassair and Balderos' house was destroyed by Olendar, who purported to be Lassair's father figure adopted parent thing (side note: I'm pretty pleased that Dad is actually a good person with a gruff exterior instead of a monster with a kindly old man exterior). It was hard to really get an idea of what happened, but if I'm not mistaken, this father figure adopted parent thing was holding the life of Lassair's unborn child over her head while performing alchemical experiments on black dragon whelps and/or children (from Ziichi's description, I guessed it was probably children of the Horde).
It's horrific, experimenting on children of any race, but I can understand his motivations. They aren't exactly stable or logical, but I can understand where they'd be born: what better way to defeat one's enemies than to ensure that their next generation doesn't age to adulthood? They lose soldiers, the Alliance rises victorious, and the perpetual war ends.
Aside from that such experiments are on par with the Scourge/Forsaken (why is there any distinction any longer? They merely traded a king for a queen) and don't take into account the kinds of rage the parents of lost children can bring down on people, I can see the logic.
Of course, that doesn't mean I think it's alright by any stretch of the imagination. It's horrible and vile and disgusting and many other adjectives. I can just see where he was going with it is all. It's pretty universally agreed that he has to die, but Lightdamnit, I'm not really able to muster any righteous anger over any of it: children being endangered, houses being destroyed, the Sigil being betrayed. It feels like I've seen all of this before, probably because I have seen all of this before, and much closer to home.
Except for the house being destroyed part, that's a new one. Somehow, all the evil in the world tends to avoid our house, like it's sacred and off-limits. Of course, now that I've said that, a meteor is inevitable, yet I still think that my reaction to that will simply be to shrug and say "Oh well."
Light, I'm horrible, aren't I?
-S.