ACK! I am so sorry for not leaving feedback sooner Brasse. I love this story so much and I feel horrible that it took me a bit to remind you how much.
So you broke my heart immediately with Ryan and Kirsten. SO sweet. Bless Ryan's poor little heart. I think you did a master job of having him so emotional one minute, and then being distracted by the collage idea. It's a very kid thing....to go from such a deep emotion to something lighter.
Such a lovely image, those two cuddled in bed together.
The church scene.... Caleb stepping up and making Jake know damn well that he had better not "f' with the Cohens was awesomely fun to read.
I sense from this chapter that Ryan maybe needed Dawn to die for him to feel completely a part of this family and be ready to accept his new life fully. I think he's turned a corner.
Don't be sorry! I'm such a lazy LJ-er that I read tone of fanfic without leaving comments even if I've loved the fanfic! Dead!Dawn is one of the possible closure for Ryan. I've always been kind of frustrated that Josh Schwartz didn't give us a correct Dawn/Trey's closure. The entire story begins with them, doesn't it?! And they just disappeared! I hated it! Thanks for your nice comment! By the way *puppy eyes* for an update of "Discovering"/"Drunk Kiki"/and I'm not sure it's you but the Punching Bag incident... That would be awesome! *puppy eyes* Pretty please!!!!!!
Thanks for showing some hearfelt interaction here with a still trepid, wary, but wistful Ryan trying to stumble along. I think you captured him very realistically at this age by showing him so reluctant to overstep any boundaries, physical or emotional. He's still finding his way and that means he'd be hesitant to intrude where he's not sure he belongs or is wanted, such as Sandy and Kirsten's bedroom. That particular exchange showed the unique combination of scared, lonely, wounded and confused little boy who is hurting so much that he risks taking that step, and also the world-weary, wise-beyond-his-years Ryan who can relate on a very mature level as well. He might have been frightened and uncertain enough to seek out comfort, but he was able to have a very focused conversation in a fairly adult manner. Then, in an instant, the curious child in him appeared when he asked about the collage. Very effective juxtapostioning
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First, I'm sorry to answer that late to your incredibly interesting comment! RL's been kind of hectic! Thanks for taking the time to review this chapter! This chapter was meant to show that Ryan's slowly realizing that the Cohens are there to protect him. If he asks for it while going to Sandy and Kirsten's bedroom and even if he doesn't ask.
My RL is beyond crazy, so I can empathize completely. And everyone knows I'm always playing ketchup. Don't apologize!
I'd say you accomplished your goal in this chapter. You were able to show Ryan cautiously, hopefully, but also resolutely sounding Kirsten out and testing some boundaries to gauge a reaction. That had to be a big step that went a ways towards reassuring him. Having Sandy and Caleb both take initiative when Ryan fully expected to be left on his own (as has always been the case), had to be an unexpected surprise and a real boost to his long-suffering self-image. A foundation with the ability to trust and the concept of finding value in himself- value that others see and believe in has to start somewhere. If only there were a magic wand, since it certainly can't be solved in a day or be an easy road for Ryan. The first steps are so important...
Comments 31
So you broke my heart immediately with Ryan and Kirsten. SO sweet. Bless Ryan's poor little heart. I think you did a master job of having him so emotional one minute, and then being distracted by the collage idea. It's a very kid thing....to go from such a deep emotion to something lighter.
Such a lovely image, those two cuddled in bed together.
The church scene.... Caleb stepping up and making Jake know damn well that he had better not "f' with the Cohens was awesomely fun to read.
I sense from this chapter that Ryan maybe needed Dawn to die for him to feel completely a part of this family and be ready to accept his new life fully. I think he's turned a corner.
Thanks so much for the update.
Once again...LOVE this story.
Reply
Thanks for your nice comment!
By the way *puppy eyes* for an update of "Discovering"/"Drunk Kiki"/and I'm not sure it's you but the Punching Bag incident...
That would be awesome!
*puppy eyes*
Pretty please!!!!!!
Reply
Reply
Thanks for taking the time to review this chapter!
This chapter was meant to show that Ryan's slowly realizing that the Cohens are there to protect him. If he asks for it while going to Sandy and Kirsten's bedroom and even if he doesn't ask.
Reply
I'd say you accomplished your goal in this chapter. You were able to show Ryan cautiously, hopefully, but also resolutely sounding Kirsten out and testing some boundaries to gauge a reaction. That had to be a big step that went a ways towards reassuring him. Having Sandy and Caleb both take initiative when Ryan fully expected to be left on his own (as has always been the case), had to be an unexpected surprise and a real boost to his long-suffering self-image. A foundation with the ability to trust and the concept of finding value in himself- value that others see and believe in has to start somewhere. If only there were a magic wand, since it certainly can't be solved in a day or be an easy road for Ryan. The first steps are so important...
Reply
And still being true to Young Ryan. Love your menacing Jake. I think I have to go on to the next chapter now to see what happens.
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