Immortal Beloved: chapter Fourteen
Vicki heard most of the conversation between Dr. Sagara and Henry. She hadn’t meant to, but hello, vampire hearing. She heard up to the part where Henry declared that he wanted her to come ‘home’. After that, she felt awkward and despite wanting to hear more, went outside and sat on the steps leading up to Dr. Sagara’s home. Her mind whirled, her thoughts were disjointed and all over. Keeping a thought in her head longer than a minute seemed too much to ask these days.
“There you are.”
Looking up, Vicki found Henry standing above her. “Here I am.”
Sitting down, he looked around the yard. “Nice place isn’t it?”
“You want me to go back to your place.”
“How-“
“I heard.”
He sighed, “Right. How much did you hear?”
“Up until then.”
“Vicki, I would feel more comfortable knowing you’re in a place where I can keep an eye on you.”
“So, you want me to go home with you because it’s comfortable for you.”
He narrowed his eyes, “What are you trying to say?”
“That it’s all about what you want. Not what I want.”
“Vicki-“
“No,” she jumped up and faced him. “I have the floor. Why did you do it Henry? Why did you change me? Why couldn’t you let me go? Did you do it for me or did you do it for you?”
He stared at her, clearly caught off guard by the fact that his mouth was hanging open slightly.
“Dr. Sagara seems to think that you’re in love with me,” she continued, “I told her that wasn’t possible because you don’t love just one woman. You love many and I use ‘love’ loosely. She threw me for a loop when she asked how many of them you’d turned and I knew the answer was none of them, but of course I didn’t want to say. And she wanted to know what I thought. Why I thought you turned me and you know…I don’t have an answer for that.”
“You do, deep inside in those places you wish weren’t there, you know,” Henry said softly.
“I know that you care about me.”
“And you know that we’ve skirted around this plenty of times - or rather you have and I’ve just played your game,” Henry said, a challenge in his tone. He stood, facing her, looking at her imploringly. “Do you want to stop playing now, Victoria? Are you ready to hear the truth?”
“I’m not trying to make things hard, Henry. I’m not trying to make you angry or hurt your feelings. I’m just trying to find a way to be comfortable in my own skin-“
“You didn’t answer me, Vicki,” Henry said, his voice rising.
“I’ve stayed away to try and get things as normal as I can make them,” she continued anxiously.
“Vicki-“
“Dr. Sagara doesn’t know me the way you and everyone else does so it feel comfortable to be around someone that doesn’t know all about what I was then and what I am now-“
“Goddammit Vicki, answer the fucking question!”
“No!” she cried, “I’m not ready to hear the truth!”
“You need to hear it!” Henry shouted at her, “You can’t keep running.”
“Yes, I can! If you tell me that you love me then you turned me for your own selfish reasons, not for me. And that’s not love.”
“Give me a small break, here. This isn’t a Hallmark card, Vicki and it sure as hell isn’t Paul’s letter to the Corinthians. Love is not always selfless; there is no black and white. It’s messy and it hurts and it’s sometimes having to make hard decisions-“
“You’re just trying to justify it,” Vicki whispered.
“Yes, I am!” he shouted, his voice full of anguish, his expression full of hurt. “I turned you because I love you, dammit! I couldn’t imagine having to spend the rest of my life without you. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me and that’s saying a lot for someone as old as I am. Yes, what I did was selfish and trust me, you’ve managed to make me regret it.”
“I have?” she asked, hurt.
“I regret it because of how it makes you feel. I hate that you hate what you are, and I hate seeing you in pain. It kills me to know that you hate not only me, but yourself. I worry every second that you’re going to just stake yourself and be done with it. I don’t want you dust, Vicki, I don’t want you reduced to dust.” His voice trembled, emotion clogging his throat. Tears were ready to be released, and he fought them as best he could.
She stood there, staring at him, half in shock and half in an expression he could not place. Sadness maybe, possibly guilt. What she did next though surprised the hell out of him. Silently, she came up to him and wrapped her arms around him. It took him a second to comprehend that she was actually hugging him before he wrapped his arms around her and held her to him, tightly.
“Please forgive me,” he whispered, stroking her hair, “Please forgive me for turning you and please, please stop hating yourself. I can’t stand it.”
Leaning back a little, Vicki caressed the side of his face, “I don’t hate you, Henry. I don’t want to die; I don’t want to be dust either. I just want to try to find a way to live. I want some of my own back.”
“Can you let me help? Please?”
“I don’t know how…”
Drawing her closer, he searched her blue eyes for something, for some kind of indication of something. “Let me,” he whispered, “Let me just love you.” And he kissed her then, pressed his lips to hers and hoped she didn’t push him away. It was like a mantra in his head ‘Please don’t push me away, please don’t push me away’, as he held her close, burying one hand in her hair and wrapping the other around her waist. Licking his tongue against her lips, she opened her mouth and he sought her tongue with his own, deepening the kiss. She tasted like wine and something uniquely Vicki. Of all the few times he’d been allowed to kiss her, mostly through stolen kisses, this, he knew, was going to be imprinted on his brain.
“Come home with me,” he whispered huskily against her lips.
“Henry-“
“Ssshh, just come home with me,” he murmured, trailing kisses across her jaw and down her neck. “Don’t think for once, Vicki, please. Just let me love you.”
She gasped when his hand covered her breast through her shirt and he smiled when she leaned into his touch.
“Well, that’s one way to do it.”
Vicki jumped a mile - and away from Henry. Growling, Henry turned toward the door.
Dr. Sagara just stood there, smiling innocently. “I’m leaving for a while, you’re both free to stay as long as you’d like. Vicki, dinner was delicious, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Vicki said, smiling and smoothing out her shirt.
Shooting Henry a knowing look, Dr. Sagara headed toward her car.
Taking Vicki’s hand and kissing the back of it, Henry grinned. “Now where were we?” Vicki bit her bottom lip and donned that look that told him she had something on her mind and it wasn’t letting him make love to her. “What is it?”
“Would you teach me how to hunt?”