Fic: Which Came First
Title: Which Came First
Author: brate7
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: G
Word Count: 600
Summary: Sam knows a lot of weird stuff.
Which Came First
By Brate
Dean wrinkled his forehead as they passed the third chicken farm in twenty minutes. "It's not even the good kind, like the Chicken Ranch," he said. "Maybe Alabama is the chicken capital of the world or something."
Head in a book, Sam appeared to ignore his brother's very eloquent attempts at conversation.
"I bet chickens are part zombie," Dean continued.
Sam finally looked up as the words trickled through his brain. "What did you just say?"
"After their heads are cut off-and they're dead-chickens can still run around."
"So because of this…peculiarity…you think that makes them zombies?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." Sam went back to reading.
Huh. Not quite the reaction he'd hoped for. Dean murmured, "I wonder how long a chicken can last without a head."
"About a year and a half," Sam said absently.
Dean somehow managed to stay on the road while looking incredulously at his brother.
Sam must've felt his stare because he slowly raised his head, eyeing him through his bangs. "What?"
"You say something like that and you don't expect a response?"
Sam made a show of marking his page before he closed the book with a sigh-drama queen-and turned to Dean. "What would you like to know?"
"How did a chicken live for that fucking long without a head?"
"Lloyd's ax missed the jugular vein and left enough of the brain stem attached to the neck for him to survive."
"Who's Lloyd?"
"Lloyd Olsen, Mike's owner."
"Mike?"
"Mike the Headless Wonder Chicken."
"All right." Dean slammed a hand against the wheel. "Okay, you got me."
"What are you talking about?"
"You had me going for a minute, but now you're just being ridiculous."
"I'm serious."
"Sure. And when did this supposed 'wonder chicken' happen? I don't remember hearing about it."
"It was back in the mid-'40s. Lloyd toured the sideshows with his chicken and people paid a quarter to see him. Mike was fed and watered with an eyedropper."
"So what happened after two years? Lloyd get hungry? Sell 'im out to the Colonel?"
"No, Mike choked to death."
Dean snorted. "He choked his chicken?" Luckily, he hadn't been drinking anything. His baby wouldn't have appreciated being spit on.
"Will you be serious?"
"Sammy, you're talking about a headless chicken touring the country, and you're telling me to be serious?"
"Yes."
"All right." Dean put on his "serious" face. "Pray tell, young Winchester, how did Mike choke to death?"
"One night in Phoenix, the chicken had something blocking his airway. Lloyd realized he'd left the eyedropper at his last show, so he had no way to clear it, and Mike died."
Dean whistled. "That's harsh."
"Yeah."
"So the chicken is no more."
"Huh?"
"It has ceased to be."
"Dean…"
"It is an ex-chicken."
"You're the one who asked, okay?"
"How do you know about this?"
Sam lifted his book. "I read."
"Man, no wonder you don't get laid. And how lame were these people's lives that a headless freaking chicken was their entertainment?"
Sam gave him at long look. "You're pissed that you missed it, aren't you?"
"Hell, yes, dude. How often can you see a headless chicken doing tricks?"
"If it makes you feel better, there's a 'Mike the Headless Chicken' Day Festival in Fruita, Colorado every May."
"Okay, if we don't get killed before then, we are so going."
"Fine." Sam picked up his book and started to read again.
They passed another farm. Dean sighed. "Poor Mike."
"Well," Sam said with a small smile, "if your zombie idea is right, he's probably just pining for the fjords."
end
Totally true story, y'all. He even has a ballad in his honor.
Author: brate7
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: G
Word Count: 600
Summary: Sam knows a lot of weird stuff.
Which Came First
By Brate
Dean wrinkled his forehead as they passed the third chicken farm in twenty minutes. "It's not even the good kind, like the Chicken Ranch," he said. "Maybe Alabama is the chicken capital of the world or something."
Head in a book, Sam appeared to ignore his brother's very eloquent attempts at conversation.
"I bet chickens are part zombie," Dean continued.
Sam finally looked up as the words trickled through his brain. "What did you just say?"
"After their heads are cut off-and they're dead-chickens can still run around."
"So because of this…peculiarity…you think that makes them zombies?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." Sam went back to reading.
Huh. Not quite the reaction he'd hoped for. Dean murmured, "I wonder how long a chicken can last without a head."
"About a year and a half," Sam said absently.
Dean somehow managed to stay on the road while looking incredulously at his brother.
Sam must've felt his stare because he slowly raised his head, eyeing him through his bangs. "What?"
"You say something like that and you don't expect a response?"
Sam made a show of marking his page before he closed the book with a sigh-drama queen-and turned to Dean. "What would you like to know?"
"How did a chicken live for that fucking long without a head?"
"Lloyd's ax missed the jugular vein and left enough of the brain stem attached to the neck for him to survive."
"Who's Lloyd?"
"Lloyd Olsen, Mike's owner."
"Mike?"
"Mike the Headless Wonder Chicken."
"All right." Dean slammed a hand against the wheel. "Okay, you got me."
"What are you talking about?"
"You had me going for a minute, but now you're just being ridiculous."
"I'm serious."
"Sure. And when did this supposed 'wonder chicken' happen? I don't remember hearing about it."
"It was back in the mid-'40s. Lloyd toured the sideshows with his chicken and people paid a quarter to see him. Mike was fed and watered with an eyedropper."
"So what happened after two years? Lloyd get hungry? Sell 'im out to the Colonel?"
"No, Mike choked to death."
Dean snorted. "He choked his chicken?" Luckily, he hadn't been drinking anything. His baby wouldn't have appreciated being spit on.
"Will you be serious?"
"Sammy, you're talking about a headless chicken touring the country, and you're telling me to be serious?"
"Yes."
"All right." Dean put on his "serious" face. "Pray tell, young Winchester, how did Mike choke to death?"
"One night in Phoenix, the chicken had something blocking his airway. Lloyd realized he'd left the eyedropper at his last show, so he had no way to clear it, and Mike died."
Dean whistled. "That's harsh."
"Yeah."
"So the chicken is no more."
"Huh?"
"It has ceased to be."
"Dean…"
"It is an ex-chicken."
"You're the one who asked, okay?"
"How do you know about this?"
Sam lifted his book. "I read."
"Man, no wonder you don't get laid. And how lame were these people's lives that a headless freaking chicken was their entertainment?"
Sam gave him at long look. "You're pissed that you missed it, aren't you?"
"Hell, yes, dude. How often can you see a headless chicken doing tricks?"
"If it makes you feel better, there's a 'Mike the Headless Chicken' Day Festival in Fruita, Colorado every May."
"Okay, if we don't get killed before then, we are so going."
"Fine." Sam picked up his book and started to read again.
They passed another farm. Dean sighed. "Poor Mike."
"Well," Sam said with a small smile, "if your zombie idea is right, he's probably just pining for the fjords."
end
Totally true story, y'all. He even has a ballad in his honor.