paint bucket romance

Mar 31, 2015 18:38

title paint bucket romance
pairing Sehun/Lu Han
rating PG-13
length 2,706
summary Sehun actually fucking hates Mondays.
a/n Originally written for prompt#40 at selubration. Yeah.


“Who does this motherfucker think he is?” Sehun all but screams as he brings his foot up to the sink.

It was supposed to be a good Monday. Mondays are usually calm and uneventful because everyone is coming down from their weekend high and collectively groaning that the school week has started. Sehun was going to just go through his classes and bask in all of the compliments he would get for his brand new shoes, which were custom made and cost more than his monthly allowance.

Sehun just wanted to show off. He wasn’t going to give his haters any lip, and he definitely wasn’t going to try and strangle the stupid fucker who stepped on his new shoes. Of course, the universe had to fuck with him and give him a reason to say ‘this is why I fucking hate Mondays’.

“This is why I fucking hate Mondays,” Sehun screeches as he runs his shoe under the running faucet. It’s doing absolutely nothing to the paint that’s staining the top side and Sehun actually wants to cry at this.

The reason that his Monday is now officially ruined could be summed up in one name: Lu motherfucking Han. Sehun absolutely loathes Lu Han. He’s some foreign pretty boy who transferred over to his school a couple of months back and effectively shot his way up the social food chain, stealing Sehun’s spot at the top right from under his perfectly sculpted nose.

He isn’t even that pretty, in Sehun’s opinion-he supposes that some people just have really horrible taste and actually like guys with big heads and oddly shaped chins and really, really disgusting laughing habits.

Everything was going fine until he stepped out of homeroom this morning. Out of nowhere, this fucker-sorry, Lu Han-steps out of the class right next to him and pretty much crushes all of Sehun’s toes with his foot.

When Sehun tried to get him to apologize, Lu Han just kept walking off like he didn’t realize what he had done. But the real horror came from the fact that Lu Han had left a very noticeable footprint of red paint on his shoe. Trying to keep himself from shattering all the windows in a three mile radius, Sehun ran to the nearest bathroom, where he has been holding up since the start of first period.

When it looks like the paint isn’t coming off of his shoe anytime soon, Sehun wills himself to take in a deep breath. It’s fine-his perfect pair of custom made shoes were probably ruined for all eternity and he would probably not be able to wear them ever again but it’s fine.

He’s a bigger man than this-he’s not going to let a destroyed pair of shoes ruin his day.

“What exactly are you doing?” Zitao asks as he watches Sehun hide behind a tree in the courtyard.

Zitao is Sehun’s best friend for life. They’re pretty much on a ride or die level as Sehun once put it, and judging from the way Zitao looked back at him with content when he described their relationship like that, Zitao felt the same way about him. Zitao once even uploaded a half-naked selca of them together on his Instagram and the school once named them ‘best bffs’ because of it.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Sehun asks back as he crouches lower against the trunk. He’s peeking out from the side now and squinting his eyes at the group a couple of feet away.

When Zitao looks up at said group, he sighs to himself and crouches beside him. “It looks like you’re plotting some kind of revenge scheme.”

“Of course I am,” Sehun says shamelessly. “Are you going to help me or not?”

“I’m not getting involved, but I won’t stop you.” Zitao squints his eyes. “Just, don’t go hacking his Facebook or something like that.” Sehun stares at him with a perfectly arched eyebrow. “Hey I still remember all the times you tried to get revenge on Jongin just because he said and I quote ‘I just don’t think we’re ready for a really serious relationship’.”

“Please. Jongin was just a phase,” Sehun says. “I am so over him and his rock-hard abs and million-dollar smile and-“ This time Zitao’s staring at him. “Look it’s all said and done okay, I am so over him.”

“If you say so,” Zitao says, completely unconvinced. “So who are you trying to get back at anyways?”

Sehun points a sharp finger at Lu Han. He’s standing off to the side of his group, occasionally laughing at a joke one of them said and then quickly going back to his phone. Even under the shade of the oak tree, Sehun is still blinded by the shock of blond hair Lu Han has, almost like he’s glowing underneath the sun.

“Lu Han right?” Zitao says it like he knows him. “He’s a nice guy.”

Sehun turns and gives Zitao a cracked stare. “What?”

“I mean, okay he’s like really nice. I have him in my English class and he’s nice to everyone.” Zitao’s voice grows quieter with each word because he can feel the anger welling up inside of Sehun. “But I don’t know him personally so yeah.”

“I know he’s the bastard who ruined my new customs,” Sehun says, lips thinning. “I am not going to let him get away with this.”

“You mean the white ones with the silver trim?” Zitao asks, and when Sehun points to the shoe with the bright red stain on it, he lets out a high-pitched gasp. “Those are gone.”

“Isn’t it the worst?” Sehun lets his head rest on the tree trunk. “I can’t wash the paint out or anything, like I think it’s permanent. I can never wear these ever again.”

“That’s really bad.” Zitao replies sadly. “So what are you going to do?”

Sehun pauses in thought. “I don’t know, but I’ll think of something.”

Sehun’s revenge plan starts off with him trailing Lu Han through the hallways whenever they have break. Lu Han seems to like visiting his teachers whenever he has free time and especially likes to visit the band room, where he meets up with his friends. Everyone seems to know him-they all wave and say hello whenever he walks by and Lu Han always replies to each person.

It turns out Lu Han’s actually really nice, and Sehun hates him even more for this because it’s so hard to hate on a person who walks around the hallways like he’s Miss Congeniality.

Sehun swears Lu Han could probably bring about world peace if companies hired his face to voice the campaigns. He probably even has a video on Myspace somewhere talking about the harmful effects of pollution-this actually turns out to be true and Sehun feels ashamed that he’s replayed it too many times.

Zitao seems to think this is all a big joke, and constantly laughs at Sehun trying to act all serious when a teacher asks him what he’s doing in the hallway, when his class is across the campus and that they only have a minute left for break.

His first attempt at initiating plan ‘Unleash Hell on this Motherfucker’ ends up with Lu Han just quietly tossing aside the whoopee cushion he sat on. The library doesn’t even seem to notice the sudden noise, and Sehun just slaps himself on the forehead because he knew a stupid prank like that wasn’t going to do anything, but he carried it out anyways.

His second attempt doesn’t fare much better. With a little bit of internet searching, Sehun managed to bring up one of Lu Han’s old, ugly selcas, back from when he clearly wasn’t going to win any beauty contests-there’s a mustache running on his upper lip and a mullet that just screams grease. When Lu Han finds them posted all over the campus, he just smiles and uses it as proof that anyone can be beautiful.

Sehun’s never broken so many pencils in frustration.

By the seventh attempt, Sehun didn’t think it could get any worse. He’s proven completely wrong when his plan of getting Lu Han completely soaked while walking into the parking lot backfires spectacularly, and instead of just sulking off to his car, Lu Han takes the opportunity to take off his shirt.

Did Sehun mention that on top of being nice, Lu Han was incredibly athletic and actually had a gorgeous motherfucking body underneath that ugly face? There were curves along his abs and his chest was so tight and touchable that Sehun found himself screaming alongside the students that were being graced by Lu Han’s body.

Why did Lu Han have to be nice and hot?

“It’s not working,” Sehun cries into Zitao’s side at lunchtime. They’re sharing both a corner booth and a tray of fries near the back of the cafeteria.

Zitao takes a slow, precise bite of his chicken wrap. “I could’ve told you that.” Sehun squints up at him. “I mean, you’ll get him. If there’s one thing I know about you, it’s that you’re tenacious.”

“You don’t understand, it’s been a few weeks and the most I’ve done is make everyone notice how hot he is,” Sehun groans.

As he takes a bite of Zitao’s wrap, he recalls the day before when Lu Han walked out of Gym class with short shorts on because he switched out his clothes when they were in class. No one seemed to care he was wearing short shorts, only noticing how firm his ass was in them.

Zitao shudders away like his friend is the grossest thing on the planet. “You could’ve gotten your own food you know.”

“But that would mean taking my card out and you know how lazy I am. I’ll pay you back tomorrow okay?”

Zitao rolls his eyes but lowers his wrap so Sehun can take another bite, disgustingly so, and it only takes a couple of seconds before Zitao breaks because he cannot watch his best friend eat so sloppily.

“It’s just, how am I supposed to deal with Lu Han?” Sehun drops his chin onto the table, fries spraying out over the tray. “He’s like so oblivious about everything and it’s so annoying. He’s like, the definition of oblivious.”

Zitao snorts. “You’re one to talk.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Do you remember the time when the lead cheerleader Jung Soojung kept pacing back and forth in front of your homeroom and gave you your watch when you lost it?”

“Your point?”

“Never mind.” Zitao squints at the front of the cafeteria, at the crowd gathering in the courtyard. “Is there some rally or something going on?”

Sehun looks up once before returning to his lazy rest. “I heard the band’s having some sort of competition going on and they’ve been playing all week for votes or something. I hear Yixing’s doing a set today. Hey speaking of band, did you know Lu Han’s pretty close with them?”

“I did not know that,” Zitao says. “I did not know I needed to know that.”

“Well you do,” Sehun sighs. “Lu Han’s so weird. He walks like there’s nothing wrong with the world and he’s friends with everyone. He could probably stop global warming or something.”

“What, are you talking about?”

“I don’t know okay,” Sehun sits up and scrunches his face. “I’ve had nothing but Lu Han on the brain for weeks and it’s messing with me.”

“Are you sure this is still about the customs?”

Sehun clears his throat. “I don’t like what you’re implying here.”

“I didn’t even say anything.”

“But you’re implying something.” Sehun declares. “I’m not stupid Zitao.” Zitao giggles at this, but he stops when Sehun glares at him. “I know what you’re thinking and no I do not have a crush on the very guy who ruined my pair of customs.”

“Hey, this is the longest I’ve ever seen you so focused on a single person. For revenge no less. If it was just anybody, you probably would’ve given up a long time ago.” Sehun crosses his arms. “But here you are, already a month in and still fixated on the same guy who ruined your pair of customs. Admit it, you li-“

Zitao isn’t his best friend anymore. At least, for a couple of days because they really are best friends but Sehun just wants to hold a grudge because he doesn’t want to admit that Zitao is right.

A few days later, Lu Han finds him sitting by himself in the bleachers after one of the football games, when most of the families and students have already left for the night. The red and gold colors from the school game is still blinding his eyes, but Sehun can spot Lu Han walking up the steps in his letterman jacket.

Truthfully, Sehun had been a bit miserable for the past few days because of his sudden realization of feelings courtesy of his best slash ex slash still best friend Zitao. He couldn’t even pay attention to the game because all he could do was stare at Lu Han from across the stands and enjoy the smiles and cheers he gave whenever the home team made a touchdown.

“Hey,” Lu Han says, and his voice is exactly how Sehun expected it to sound-he never really had a chance to listen to Lu Han speak because he was so intent on destroying him to notice anything about him.

“Are you talking to me?” Sehun asks, brushing off a few pieces of confetti from his jacket.

Lu Han looks around the stands like he’s trying to point out that there’s obviously no one else around to talk to, but really, he’s just making sure there’s no one else around. “Yeah, Sehun right?”

Sehun laughs quietly. “Yeah that’s me. And you’re Lu Han. I know all about you.”

“I bet you do.” Lu Han smiles. “You know, if you wanted to talk to me, you didn’t have to try to get my attention with those pranks.”

Sehun freezes. “I’m sorry what?”

“I have eyes Sehun,” Lu Han laughs, but it’s innocent. “I’m not mad or anything, I just wished we could’ve talked sooner.”

Sehun shifts in his seat, but continues looking back at Lu Han.

“I’m sorry about your shoes.” Lu Han bites his bottom lip and steps closer to Sehun’s seat. “I’m really bad with noticing things. It’s just like, when everyone tries to talk to you and stuff you get tunnel vision you know?” Sehun nods. “I meant to apologize sooner but I’ve been caught up with things. It’s kind of a bad habit really.”

“I get what you mean,” Sehun closes his lips but the words have already left. “Look, I should apologize. I was just really mad about the shoes and well, you seem like a nice person and stuff.”

“Stuff.” Lu Han repeats with a smile.

“Hey, I’m trying to apologize here,” Sehun says, pouting.

Lu Han laughs into his collar. “I know, but I should be the one apologizing.”

Sehun waves his hand. “It’s fine. It’s just like, a pair of shoes you know?” A cough stays lodged in his throat because they were definitely one of his favorite pairs, but he can disregard that for now.

“Well, are you doing anything later today?” Lu Han fidgets in his spot and he actually looks adorable right now. “I’m actually free right now,” Lu Han continues and the gears in his brain are clearly turning. “I don’t suppose you’d like to-“

Sehun curls his lips. “You’re joking right?”

Lu Han’s expression falters before Sehun cracks up in laughter.

“Man, we got to work on your humor.” Sehun jumps up and takes Lu Han’s hand, pulling him away from the bleachers with excitement. “I’d love to. You can consider taking me out as an apology for the shoes.”

Lu Han chuckles. “I guess it’s a date then.”

When Sehun finally squashes his grudge over Zitao and apologizes for being childish and immature, Zitao just gives him a shit-eating grin because, as always, he’s right.

rating: pg-13, group: exo, length: oneshot, pairing: luhan/sehun

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