Holiday Exchange - Fanfiction for Akutsu
Title: 7 Days of Akutsu
Rating: NC-17 (for swearing)
Pairing/Characters: Akutsu/Dan
For: bigbadakutsu
Warnings: Harsh langauge. Akutsu. I don't think I need to warn you anymore
about the ugly nature.
On Mondays, Akutsu likes to go and smoke in the local park. Sometimes, old
ladies will tut at him for ruining his body at such a young age. Today, a
group of boys from another school are looking at him funny, so he goes and
beats them to a pulp.
Dan pops out of nowhere, breathless and clutching a notebook.
"Akutsu-senpai! That was awesome desu! You're so awesome desu!" he says, his
little shota face brimming with happiness and admiration.
"Th'fuck are you doing here?"
"Will you teach me how to beat people up like you desu?" Dan clutches his
notebook close to his chest. Flicking his cigarette to one side (trying very
hard to look annoyed) Akutsu shrugged.
"Th'fuck do you wanna learn that for?"
"So I can be awesome like Akutsu-senpai desu!"
Akutsu stares back at him, trying not to look despairing, because real men
never look despairing. Just tough and angry all the time.
"Alright, let's find some puppies or something."
The rest of Monday is spent kicking dogs, cats and any small animals they
happen to come across. At the end of the day Dan stares up at his senpai,
beaming like a coathanger got stuck in his mouth.
"You're so awesome desu!"
"Shut the fuck up brat, or you'll end up like that puppy."
------
On Tuesdays, Akutsu likes to do grocery shopping for his mother. Not that he
ever tells anyone this, and anyone who finds out usually ends up on the
receiving end of his fist.
"The fabric softener is here, desu!" Akutsu almost drops his bag in shock as
Dan appears before him, waving a large bottle around. How the fuck did he
know Akutsu shopped here? He even got the right fucking brand, Akutsu
thinks to himself in annoyance. Snatching the bottle from Dan roughly, he
glares down at the younger boy.
"You ever tell anyone I was here doing this-" he starts, but Dan interrupts.
"I'll wake up breathing through a tube, desu! I know desu!"
Dan happily bounds off in the direction of the cup noodles. "Which ones do
you want, desu?" he calls over.
Shuffling on the spot, Akutsu mutters back.
"Chicken."
"Really?! Chicken is my favourite flavour noodle as well, desu!"
"Shut the fuck up, Dan, or you'll be riding the ambulance home."
------
On Wednesdays, Akutsu likes to exert his manliness by urinating against
public buildings. When old ladies tut and mutter loudly about the state of
today's youth, Akutsu likes to show them exactly what he thinks of today's
youth by giving them the finger.
Today, an elderly couple walk past. The man tuts loudly while the woman
shakes her head and says that Akutsu is a disgusting boy.
"You can fucking shove it, desu!"
Akutsu looks down next to him to see Dan waving his middle finger around
happily. The couple look violated and hurry on.
"I've been drinking water all day!" Dan tells Akutsu excitedly, unzipping
his trousers. Akutsu closes his eyes in annoyance. Can't a man urinate in
peace?
"Shut the fuck up, Dan. You get your dick out here and I'll cut it off."
------
On Thursdays, Akutsu likes to go to the beach. One of his favourite beach
hobbies is to run around kicking down other people's sandcastles. Today he
finds Dan stomping happily on a pile of sand while a young boy is crying
next to him.
"Th'fuck are you doing?!" Akutsu snarls.
"I've seen Akutsu-senpai doing this, desu!" Dan says, jumping up and down
until the sand is almost leveled out. His headband falls down over his eyes
and for a while, he stumbles around, waving his arms around wildly until he
pushes it back up onto his forehead.
Akutsu stares back blankly, saying nothing. Is this kid fucking
retarded?
"What's wrong, desu?" Akutsu looks down to see Dan looking up at him, and
those fucking shota eyes that are round and shiny and like a puppy and just
fuck.
"They go down quicker if you just kick 'em," Akutsu mutters.
"Really, desu?" Dan fumbles for his notebook and scribbles furiously.
Later on, Akutsu buys them both an ice lolly.
"My lolly is so delicious, desu! It's like the taste of summer, desu! Want
to try some desu?!" Dan waves his ice lolly around in Akutsu's face
excitedly.
"Shut the fuck up, Dan."
------
On Fridays, Akutsu likes to do his schoolwork.
"'Knickers' has a k in it, desu!"
Akutsu almost falls off his chair in shock.
"Th'FUCK are you doing here?!"
"Your mother let me in, desu! Why did you need to write about knickers
anyway, desu?"
"Shut the fuck up, Taichi."
------
On Saturdays, Akutsu likes to stay in and watch films. Today he rents out
Fight Club.
"Oooh, Fight Club desu! I've always wanted to see that desu! Can I watch it
with you desu?"
"You're not fucking old enough."
"Neither are you, desu!"
"..."
They end up watching the Lion King.
"This part always gets me desu, where Mufasa falls off the cliff, it's so
sad desu!"
"Shut up."
------
On Sundays, Akutsu likes to spraypaint insulting graffiti on rival school
buildings.
"Dickwad has a k in it, Taichi," Akutsu automatically corrects as Dan shakes
his can up and down excitedly. Finishing his own piece of vandalism, he
steps back to get a proper look.
"Wow, that's awesome desu!! Kaidoh looks like he's really on fire desu!!
Akutsu-senpai, you're so amazing desu!!!!"
Akutsu stares down blankly at Dan, who is busy scribbling "Yamabuki
REPRESENT. Big T Woz Ere" over Seigaku's entrance plaque.
"Thanks."
Rating: NC-17 (for swearing)
Pairing/Characters: Akutsu/Dan
For: bigbadakutsu
Warnings: Harsh langauge. Akutsu. I don't think I need to warn you anymore
about the ugly nature.
On Mondays, Akutsu likes to go and smoke in the local park. Sometimes, old
ladies will tut at him for ruining his body at such a young age. Today, a
group of boys from another school are looking at him funny, so he goes and
beats them to a pulp.
Dan pops out of nowhere, breathless and clutching a notebook.
"Akutsu-senpai! That was awesome desu! You're so awesome desu!" he says, his
little shota face brimming with happiness and admiration.
"Th'fuck are you doing here?"
"Will you teach me how to beat people up like you desu?" Dan clutches his
notebook close to his chest. Flicking his cigarette to one side (trying very
hard to look annoyed) Akutsu shrugged.
"Th'fuck do you wanna learn that for?"
"So I can be awesome like Akutsu-senpai desu!"
Akutsu stares back at him, trying not to look despairing, because real men
never look despairing. Just tough and angry all the time.
"Alright, let's find some puppies or something."
The rest of Monday is spent kicking dogs, cats and any small animals they
happen to come across. At the end of the day Dan stares up at his senpai,
beaming like a coathanger got stuck in his mouth.
"You're so awesome desu!"
"Shut the fuck up brat, or you'll end up like that puppy."
------
On Tuesdays, Akutsu likes to do grocery shopping for his mother. Not that he
ever tells anyone this, and anyone who finds out usually ends up on the
receiving end of his fist.
"The fabric softener is here, desu!" Akutsu almost drops his bag in shock as
Dan appears before him, waving a large bottle around. How the fuck did he
know Akutsu shopped here? He even got the right fucking brand, Akutsu
thinks to himself in annoyance. Snatching the bottle from Dan roughly, he
glares down at the younger boy.
"You ever tell anyone I was here doing this-" he starts, but Dan interrupts.
"I'll wake up breathing through a tube, desu! I know desu!"
Dan happily bounds off in the direction of the cup noodles. "Which ones do
you want, desu?" he calls over.
Shuffling on the spot, Akutsu mutters back.
"Chicken."
"Really?! Chicken is my favourite flavour noodle as well, desu!"
"Shut the fuck up, Dan, or you'll be riding the ambulance home."
------
On Wednesdays, Akutsu likes to exert his manliness by urinating against
public buildings. When old ladies tut and mutter loudly about the state of
today's youth, Akutsu likes to show them exactly what he thinks of today's
youth by giving them the finger.
Today, an elderly couple walk past. The man tuts loudly while the woman
shakes her head and says that Akutsu is a disgusting boy.
"You can fucking shove it, desu!"
Akutsu looks down next to him to see Dan waving his middle finger around
happily. The couple look violated and hurry on.
"I've been drinking water all day!" Dan tells Akutsu excitedly, unzipping
his trousers. Akutsu closes his eyes in annoyance. Can't a man urinate in
peace?
"Shut the fuck up, Dan. You get your dick out here and I'll cut it off."
------
On Thursdays, Akutsu likes to go to the beach. One of his favourite beach
hobbies is to run around kicking down other people's sandcastles. Today he
finds Dan stomping happily on a pile of sand while a young boy is crying
next to him.
"Th'fuck are you doing?!" Akutsu snarls.
"I've seen Akutsu-senpai doing this, desu!" Dan says, jumping up and down
until the sand is almost leveled out. His headband falls down over his eyes
and for a while, he stumbles around, waving his arms around wildly until he
pushes it back up onto his forehead.
Akutsu stares back blankly, saying nothing. Is this kid fucking
retarded?
"What's wrong, desu?" Akutsu looks down to see Dan looking up at him, and
those fucking shota eyes that are round and shiny and like a puppy and just
fuck.
"They go down quicker if you just kick 'em," Akutsu mutters.
"Really, desu?" Dan fumbles for his notebook and scribbles furiously.
Later on, Akutsu buys them both an ice lolly.
"My lolly is so delicious, desu! It's like the taste of summer, desu! Want
to try some desu?!" Dan waves his ice lolly around in Akutsu's face
excitedly.
"Shut the fuck up, Dan."
------
On Fridays, Akutsu likes to do his schoolwork.
"'Knickers' has a k in it, desu!"
Akutsu almost falls off his chair in shock.
"Th'FUCK are you doing here?!"
"Your mother let me in, desu! Why did you need to write about knickers
anyway, desu?"
"Shut the fuck up, Taichi."
------
On Saturdays, Akutsu likes to stay in and watch films. Today he rents out
Fight Club.
"Oooh, Fight Club desu! I've always wanted to see that desu! Can I watch it
with you desu?"
"You're not fucking old enough."
"Neither are you, desu!"
"..."
They end up watching the Lion King.
"This part always gets me desu, where Mufasa falls off the cliff, it's so
sad desu!"
"Shut up."
------
On Sundays, Akutsu likes to spraypaint insulting graffiti on rival school
buildings.
"Dickwad has a k in it, Taichi," Akutsu automatically corrects as Dan shakes
his can up and down excitedly. Finishing his own piece of vandalism, he
steps back to get a proper look.
"Wow, that's awesome desu!! Kaidoh looks like he's really on fire desu!!
Akutsu-senpai, you're so amazing desu!!!!"
Akutsu stares down blankly at Dan, who is busy scribbling "Yamabuki
REPRESENT. Big T Woz Ere" over Seigaku's entrance plaque.
"Thanks."