I suppose I thought you'd at least say hi over the holidays. Maybe let me know how you were, or notice that I've been really unwell and enquire after me. I guess I'd have liked to have known if you got the package I sent.
I'm not an idiot, Nishy, I know when I've been written out. I just wish it didn't feel like I never existed. Gosh, I guess I'm not one of those problems that just goes away when you ignore it.
I know you aren't, and ignoring you or making it as if you didn't exist were never my intention. I just keep waiting for the right words to say to you, and never find them, because there's such a huge weight of things I haven't said and feel like I owe you.
I don't have anything near a good reason, or anything that will make me less terrible, and I'm well aware that sorry isn't near good enough. Still, I am sorry.
I did get your package, and I did read--and worry--about you being unwell. I should have said as much, to both. As usual, I have a cache little things accumulating on top of my monitor that are for you, and as usual, I'm beyond late in sending them. I keep thinking I'll put a letter with them, full of those right things that I still haven't thought of to say.
I keep waiting for you to update. I'm sure you must be writing somewhere, but maybe you've moved your journal so I don't have to see? Please don't. Or at least, tell me where you moved to.
Maybe life just got busy.
Anyway, honestly, I am fine. The fault was as much on my part as yours, I wasn't making a huge effort to keep in touch and I never really knew what to say. I was fairly certain this LARP thing would overtake me - it's a regular pattern, more interesting things always do overtake me in the end, and real life? No contest. Why do you think I was wary of being too close
( ... )
Comments 3
I'm not an idiot, Nishy, I know when I've been written out. I just wish it didn't feel like I never existed. Gosh, I guess I'm not one of those problems that just goes away when you ignore it.
Reply
I don't have anything near a good reason, or anything that will make me less terrible, and I'm well aware that sorry isn't near good enough. Still, I am sorry.
I did get your package, and I did read--and worry--about you being unwell. I should have said as much, to both. As usual, I have a cache little things accumulating on top of my monitor that are for you, and as usual, I'm beyond late in sending them. I keep thinking I'll put a letter with them, full of those right things that I still haven't thought of to say.
I'm sorry.
Reply
I keep waiting for you to update. I'm sure you must be writing somewhere, but maybe you've moved your journal so I don't have to see? Please don't. Or at least, tell me where you moved to.
Maybe life just got busy.
Anyway, honestly, I am fine. The fault was as much on my part as yours, I wasn't making a huge effort to keep in touch and I never really knew what to say. I was fairly certain this LARP thing would overtake me - it's a regular pattern, more interesting things always do overtake me in the end, and real life? No contest. Why do you think I was wary of being too close ( ... )
Reply
Leave a comment