Grounding Box
OK, so my day-to-day mental health is getting better thanks to CBT and meditation, but I need more "emergency self-help", if that makes sense? Like there will still be days when I have panic attacks, the flashbacks to trauma is becoming more frequent than it has ever been, and when I read about making a "grounding box" on tumblr I thought it might be something that could help me. So today I went out and bought this box as my start point.
I'm not super arty or anything, so I got a box that looked pretty but didn't bother decorating or personalising it. I just wrote this message to myself inside the lid so it would be the first thing I saw when I opened the box:
This is the contents of my box. I tried to get things that would appeal to all my senses:
The idea is that when you're panicking, having flashbacks, feeling sad or anxious, thinking you might self-harm or worse, you open the box, look through it, pick out a few things to do. I've put a lot of easy access things in it, as well as a lot of ideas for bigger things that might calm me down.
I bought my favourite chocolate truffles (bojangles dark chocolate truffles, they're basically ganache covered in cocoa, super rich so I will only eat one at a time, the ultimate indulgence) and posh chamomile tea from teapigs. I will swear by the anxiety-relieving benefits of chamomile tea, I basically live off the stuff at work, and I can physically feel it calm me. It's like the anti-caffeine.
I bought a reporter's notebook, 5 pencils with a rubber and sharpener (to scribble and erase with) and two felt tip markers. I wanted a red one, really, because it's one of my self-harm remedies - to draw in red ink where I want to cut/scratch/pick/bite. But it came in a pack with a black one and I thought that would be useful.
Plasticine appeals to my sense of touch. At work I play with blu tack ALL THE TIME, but it gets sticky and gross after a while, whereas plasticine is made to be fiddled and modeled with. It's super fun and appeals to the child in me (as does the super primary school style pencils, pencil sharpener and rubber).
This is a mini bubble bath with a really citrus-y smell that reminds me of my parents. Hot baths are super soothing, and though they're not the most helpful when I'm panicking (because having nothing to distract me but bubbles when I'm in my own head doesn't help), I think it will appeal to my sense of smell and maybe in less severe situations it could help.
The instructions suggest soothing music and most of the music I love doesn't soothe me because it tends to mean something emotionally to me. But worship music is totally calming to me, and several tracks on here are go-to tracks when I'm anxious. Also it's not like it needs to be in my CD cupboard in my new house as there's no way I could play it in a room with Amy and Ollie.
You can see in this photo that the box is lined with a cloth... that's a muslin square. One of my worst kept secrets is that I still sleep with a comfort blanket, which is just a square of muslin like you use to clean up baby sick, but the more you wash it the softer it gets and I bought one to line my box because it’s super comforting.
I have been writing helpful stuff in my notepad, though most of it I will leave blank so I can use it to write in emergencies.
I've included a few poems from my most soothing book of poetry, Soul Food (an anthology by Neil Astley). It's mainly spiritual/buddhist poetry, and this is a Mary Oliver one which is the most soothing and reassuring poem I know. I've also included God says yes to me by Kaylin Haught and God Speaks to each of us by Rilke. They sound super religious but I think they're the kind of spiritual I most need when I'm upset - self-affirming, forgiving spirituality.
I also wrote a tonne of self-care lists. Lists of films, songs, things to read, tv shows, things to search on pinterest to make myself happy. They are super easy to access in my brain now I'm happy but I know I've had times in the last week where I wouldn't have been able to think of them so it feels safe to have them written down. Here is a list of really simple things that can calm my anxiety (sorry, it's blurry and I can't be bothered to retake it).
I've also got Amy to leave me a message in it (which I haven't read yet) and I'm going to get Ollie to do the same, and anyone else who visits and wants to. All in all I'm pretty happy with how it turned out, and though I hope I don't need to access it any time soon, I'm glad to have it.